Martyr To Be

The alcohol slid down her throat, a burning sensation immediately following. The pain from that sensation managed to overshadow the pain filling her chest from trapping her sobs within. And the pain behind her eyes because she refused to let her tears fall. She needed the pain from the burning of the alcohol, or else she was positive she would collapse in a heap of tears and sobs, unable to force the maelstrom of emotions back.

It seemed, this past month, that was all Bonnie Bennett had been doing. Crumbling bit by bit on the inside while the world saw a perfect smile and a happy attitude. It seemed no one had noticed the girl breaking under the pressure that had suddenly seemed to fall on her shoulders.

And it all came from that one night four weeks ago, today.

On that night, Bonnie had been possessed by her ancestor, Emily Bennett. At first, she was trapped inside what she could only describe as a black room, screaming for someone to release her. But then, almost as if she was at a movie theater, a beam of light appeared above her and cast a picture against the blackness, halting her desperate please of escape. And that picture was one of Emily staring back at her with a solemn expression on her face. Then, the picture started to move and it became, what Bonnie could only describe as, a movie of Emily's life.

Or what she had believed to be her life.

That was where she had been introduced to Katherine. It had shocked Bonnie how uncanny the resemblance between Katherine and Elena was, almost to the point where she believed some of her memories had escaped into Emily's. But then, Bonnie watched as Stefan then Damon appeared on the screen, both dressed in period clothing, much like her ancestor was.

That was when she began to believe what she was seeing.

However, the one thing that solidified this movie as Emily's memories were two events. One, where she watched as Katherine's beautiful features become marred by the veins protruding from her suddenly blackened eyes and her canines had lengthened into fangs. She attacked a poor boy, drinking his blood greedily before pushing his body away from her as if burned her. The second was Damon racing to Emily, begging him to save Katherine.

Bonnie was shocked by how desperate the elder Salvatore brother was. He seemed to be truly and deeply in love with Katherine. Enough to make any deal with her ancestor. Her heart cracked somewhat for Damon right then.

Bonnie had watched as her ancestor told Damon she would save Katherine and the others if he agreed to keep her lineage alive. Then, the world suddenly turned back to black before a blinding light took over. When Bonnie had opened her eyes, she found herself in control of her body once more, but somewhere strange.

Next thing, pain exploded throughout her body.

Damon had attacked her. Nearly killed her. But his younger brother, Stefan managed to push him off of her. Then, he had given her some of his blood to help heal her wound.

Bonnie hadn't been sure, or maybe didn't want to be correct, on how Stefan had saved her. Or why Damon attacked her like he did. And her thoughts were still muddled with everything she had just seen due to Emily's memories. She wasn't sure of anything at the moment.

But when Elena explained everything once they arrived at her house, Bonnie found herself being sure of two things. Damon and Stefan were vampires from the Civil War era, and her world had suddenly entered a parallel universe.

From that day on, Bonnie had felt as if she was walking around in a fog. Her once normal world was now filled with magical powers and vampires. Things she had once believed part of fairytales.

But that information alone was not want sent Bonnie into a downward spiral. Two days after Elena had revealed the truth about Damon and Stefan, she had learned another truth. One that concerned her.

She had decided to visit her Grams, needing her advice on how to handle the Damon and Stefan situation. She knew she was betraying Elena's confidence, but at the moment, she needed someone to talk to. And it seemed Elena was too busy trying to get Stefan to realize they could be together. Bonnie really had no other option.

She had decided to walk to her grandmother's, the fresh air and calm night would hopefully be able to calm her racing thoughts. That had to be why she was able to sneak up on them. When she had arrived, Bonnie was surprised to find not only Mrs. Forbes's car there, but other important officials in the town, as well.

Feeling her confusion mounting, she crept up silently towards the front door of her grandmother's house. She opened the door as quietly as she could, afraid she might alert someone to her presence. However, she found it was unnecessary because of the shouting match taking place in her grandmother's living room.

"She's ready!" Bonnie recognized the mayor's voice instantly.

"No, she's not. Her powers are only just manifesting." That was her Grams, ever the calm one.

"They're not just manifesting, Tituba. They are fierce and out of control. If you hadn't of bound them, she would have had them under control." Bonnie recognized the sheriff's voice.

"I had no choice, but to bind them! After the Hell you all put her through that night!" Grams was enraged. She never raised her voice unless it was THAT serious. "She was only a nine year old and you were demanding that she open that tomb and unleash that evil on to our town. For what? So there would be nothing there whenever someone discovered the crystal my ancestor used to seal it? Or because you feared that the tomb wouldn't hold that much evil for much longer? You all were begging to die and you were asking my granddaughter to be your executioner!"

A sick feeling began forming in her stomach after she heard the mayor's shout, but now, Bonnie felt numb. She had no delusions about who they were referring to. It seems her secret wasn't really a secret after all. And it seemed they also knew about the tomb at Fell's Church. The one that housed Katherine and the other vampires that were suppose to have died that day during the war.

But when her grandmother spoke, Bonnie felt herself sliding into what she had believe to be a dream, a nightmare really. Where her grandmother had tricked her into going to Fell's Church at night, a full moon heavy in the sky the only source of light she had walking through the woods with her grandmother. That is, until she reached the ruins of the church. There was a small fire casting an orange glow across the area, and Bonnie had been surprised to find the known town officials standing in a circle around it. The circle she found herself in the middle of as they demanded she open the tomb, for she was the strongest of her line. And Bonnie remembered bursting into tears from the fear and confusion. She remembered knowing about her powers, but they were not powerful enough to open the tomb. She had tried telling them that, but they had refused to listen. Grams had finally stepped in, backing up her claims, but the others would not be deterred.

"If she can't perform the ritual now, then she will when her powers become stronger."

The mayor had spoken those words with a cold, clipped tone.

Bonnie had raced back to her house, tears flowing.

She had made herself believe that terrifying night was nothing but a nightmare.

But now she remembered the truth. And with that realization came a tidal wave of anger. Is that all I'm good for? Bonnie thought angrily. Opening a tomb full of vampires and unleashing Hell on this town? Hot tears ran down her cheeks and fell to the ground, but she paid them no mind. She would cry her soul out later, right now she wanted to get away from everything.

With that, Bonnie had turned and raced back to her house, tears still flowing. When she had reached her home, she ran into her bedroom and collapsed on the bed. That was where she screamed and cried until exhaustion set in. Then, she fell into a fitful sleep.

Every day since then had been agony. All Bonnie could think about was how people wanted to use her to unleash a powerful evil onto the town. And how she felt as if no one saw just plain Bonnie anymore, but the Witch. But to the outside world, she was all smiles. No one heard her soul break each day or her heart cry out for comfort.

It was a week before the full moon when she had decided to do something about the tomb. Bonnie remembered how desperate Damon was to save Katherine that he made the deal with Emily. A deal that she had broken. And she remembered the determination of the city officials as they demanded she open the tomb so they could destroy all that was left of the creatures that had haunted their town. So, she decided she would combine those two requests and grant them.

Bonnie had come to this conclusion after she had snuck into her grandmother's house and found Emily's spell book amongst family heirlooms in the attic. Bonnie had originally planned to confront her grandmother about what she had overheard nearly a month before, but she found her grandmother wasn't home. A note she left on the fridge told Bonnie she had gone grocery shopping.

Somehow, she found herself searching through books that talked about the Civil War. Why, she had no idea. But there she was, sitting on the floor of her grandmother's study, reading about how the Civil War affected Virginia. But when she went to return the book to its proper place, Bonnie found something lying in the far back of the shelf. When she pulled it out, she discovered it was Emily's spell book.

Flipping through the book, Bonnie noticed an array of spells. Some mediocre, others extremely complex. It was only when she came across a handwritten note talking about how Emily had to use this spell to grant Damon's request, but she wished there was another way that Bonnie really took notice. Looking over the spell that the note talked about, Bonnie realized how much power would be needed to perform such a task. Not only did Emily seal in twenty-seven vampires in a tomb beneath the church, she had to channel the power of a comet that had flown overhead along with the full moon to acquire the power.

It had left her so drained, Emily nearly died right on the spot, according to the note.

That was when Bonnie decided that she would grant everyone's request of opening the tomb. But she needed to better understand the spell. And, she later realized in the comfort of her room, she wanted to research a spell that could hopefully protect Katherine long enough for Damon to take her away. It was only fair, Bonnie decided. If it hadn't of been for him, Emily's children would have died and she wouldn't exist.

Bonnie finally found such a spell the day before the full moon. It was almost as complex as the one to reverse what Emily had done, which would require more energy from her. She had believed that the first spell might put her in a coma from all the energy it required, but adding this second one…

Bonnie was guaranteeing her death.

She had tried not to think too much on that aspect of her decision. Instead, she tried to focus on that Katherine would be freed and the city officials would get the chance to destroy the remaining vampires. It was a win-win as far as she could see.

But when the night of the full moon arrived, Bonnie found herself needing alcohol because the realization that she was about to die finally set in. So, she had searched throughout her house until she finally found a bottle of her father's finest whiskey. She had only planned to take a drink, to settle her nerves. But soon, she found herself on the fourth drink and fighting back tears and sobs, which was becoming increasingly difficult.

Hearing a gasp coming from her doorway, Bonnie turned to find Elena standing there along with both Salvatore brothers. Why wasn't she surprised? Elena was beautiful, strong, and resembled their precious Katherine. Of course they would want to be around her. She should have known from the very beginning that neither Stefan or Damon would be interested in poor, pathetic Bonnie when they could have the beautiful Elena.

It still stung.

"Bonnie…what are you doing?" Elena demanded harshly as she sunk to her knees beside her friend.

Bonnie began laughing at the question. Then, the laughter turned into sobs that eventually led to her tears. When Elena tried reaching for her, she shoved her back and stood to her full height.

Glaring down at her best friend through blurry eyes, Bonnie spat out, "I'm giving everybody what they want." Looking from Elena to the vampires standing in her doorway, she asked, "How the Hell are you in my house?"

Stefan stepped forward, his confusion apparent on his face. "Your father. He was about to leave for work when he saw us standing outside the door. He didn't really give us a chance to say anything when he invited us in."

Bonnie nodded, realizing sadly that her father was too trusting. That would come back to haunt him. "Well, I want you to leave."

Elena appeared at her side. "Bonnie, I'm not leaving until you tell me what's going on."

Bonnie ignored her. Turning her attention to the quiet Salvatore brother, she found he had no expression. He was merely watching her through guarded eyes. "How badly do you want Katherine back?"

Elena gasped, Stefan stiffened, but it was Damon's reaction she wanted. His eyes had widen slightly and his laid-back stance become one of rigidness as he stood to his full height. "What are you playing at, witch?" he snarled.

"I want to know how badly you want Katherine back."

Damon was about to reply, but the sound of Stefan's voice stopped him. "You found Emily's spell book." All eyes turned to the book lying on the floor, at the foot of her bed. Stefan had reached down to grab it, but Bonnie willed it to her before he could touch it. Now, all eyes were on her.

Holding the book tightly to her chest, almost like a shield, she turned back to Damon. His eyes remained fixed on the book. "How badly do you want Katherine back?"

The elder Salvatore turned his attention to her, locking gazes with her. "Bad enough that I would leave this town and my brother alone forever."

After a few, tense moments of silence, Bonnie nodded. "That's all I need." With that, she pushed past him and made her way down the stairs. She heard the pounding of their footsteps as they raced to catch up with her. It wasn't until she was about to step out the front door that they managed it.

Well, more like Damon just appeared in the doorway, blocking her exit.

"Start explaining, little witch," he hissed.

Bonnie knew she could easily move him with her telekinesis that she had been practicing for the past month, but also knew she needed all her strength to perform the spell. Besides, it wasn't like telling them would make a difference. This solution would please everyone.

"I'm going to reverse Emily's spell using the full moon. Once the tomb has been opened, I'm going to separate Katherine from the others and put her into a sleep. You can whisk her away some place far away so you two can live happily ever after. Then, I'll weaken the rest of the vampires and let the city officials."

Elena's voice reached her ears. "What? The city officials know?"

Bonnie shrugged. "Apparently. They knew I was a witch. They also tried to force me to open the tomb when I was nine years old so they could finish the vampires then, but hey, apparently I wasn't strong enough then."

Everyone heard the bitter tinge to her words.

Damon's gaze, though slightly hopeful, still remained guarded. "What do you get out of this?"

"Nothing."

"Everyone has an agenda."

"Don't talk to me about agendas," Bonnie snarled. "You, Damon Salvatore, only wanted to protect me so you could steal Emily's necklace and unleash Katherine yourself. You only made sure my family survive because you never knew if you might need one of us." She felt a new wave of tears slide down her cheeks. "Unlike you, Damon Salvatore, I don't have an agenda. I'm doing this because this is apparently what everyone wants me to do. And I obviously owe you for Emily backing out of your deal."

"Bonnie," Stefan began, "do you know how much power those spells will need? You could seriously hurt yourself."

Without tearing her gaze away from Damon's, Bonnie replied. "I won't hurt myself, Stefan. I'll kill myself."

Damon's blank expression had turned into one of disbelief in a matter of seconds. His eyes, once guarded, were now full of questions. Bonnie merely shrugged and pushed past him.

She only got a few feet.

Damon had latched onto her arm and spun her around. Before she could snap at him, she was slung over his shoulder, book still in her grasp, and speeding away from Stefan and Elena. She closed her eyes, feeling sick from the rapid movement, and hoping for their stop to arrive. When they finally did, she released the breath she had been holding and felt her stomach begin to settle.

When Damon set her down, Bonnie was surprised to not find herself at Fell's Church, but in a bedroom. Turning her confused gaze on him, she was met with an angered Damon. Why was he angry? She was bringing back Katherine for him.

"What's your problem?" Bonnie snapped, trying to hide her unease.

In the blink of an eye, Damon was pressed up against her intimately, one arm wrapped securely around her waist. He wasn't allowing her any room for escape.

"You would kill yourself to repay a debt for your ancestor, help me, and those idiots that run this town?" his voice was filled with suppressed anger.

Bonnie shuddered at their close proximity. She was not going to admit he felt delicious pressed against her so tightly. "So? I'm giving you Katherine, like you wanted."

After a tense silence, he said, "You amaze me Bonnie Bennett and I hate that. You would selflessly give me something I would have gladly demanded of you in time."

Bonnie shrugged while whispering, "Everyone deserves to be happy and with the one they love. Even you, Damon."

Looking into his eyes, Bonnie was surprised to see them darkening not with hunger, but lust. She jumped slightly at the feel of his free hand cupping her cheek and rubbing circles with his thumb. His other hand rested on her hip possessively, but not tightly enough to bruise. It was almost like he was afraid to break her.

"One thing that makes you special, Bonnie, is your desire to see others happy before yourself. Katherine never had that quality and Elena…well she wants others to be happy, but never knows how to go about it. But you, no matter the consequences or your own pain, gladly help someone else achieve their happiness without demands. And your loyalty is unwavering, no matter what. You will always have someone's back, even if you hate them." He leaned forward slightly and whispered against her trembling lips, "And for some damn reason, that makes you attractive to me. Makes me want to claim you. Bonnie Bennett, I'm the devil in disguise, but you actually make me feel a small piece of human emotion whenever I'm around you. It infuriates and delights me at the same time."

Then, his lips possessed hers.

It was a brutal kiss, full of passion and hunger. Bonnie had remained still for a few seconds, but then she responded. The spell book dropped from her hands and clattered to the ground, but she ignored it. Instead, she listened to the pounding of her heart and the blood rushing through her ears as she responded with equal force to the kiss. However, oxygen became an issue and she had to pull away.

Opening her eyes, she locked gazes once again with Damon. Without words, she wound her arms around his neck and he effortlessly pulled her up so she could wrap her legs around his waist. Then, without preamble, the kiss was resumed. Bonnie gasped slightly at the feel of the wall against her back, which Damon used to sweep his tongue into her moist cavern. Their tongues dueled for what seemed like years before he pulled away and nipped at her bottom lip. Then, he pulled back and allowed Bonnie to take in a lungful of air.

"What are we doing?" she asked

"Kissing," he responded.

Bonnie shook her head. "Not what I meant."

Damon nodded. "I know, but for now I don't want to think. I actually want to feel something other than hate, jealously, or envy. And I seem to be only able to do that with you, little witch. So, you're little martyr mission will have to be put on hold for now."

"Damon, I'll stand by what I said. If you ever want me to release her, tell me," she said.

Damon knew she meant what she had said. He could sense her sincerity. He would probably choose Katherine over her and Elena, so he was going to need her. But Bonnie made him feel something that he both craved and detested and until the time when he was fully sure who he wanted, he was going to keep all three close at hand.

So that meant Bonnie got to live, for now.

Shaking those thoughts away, Damon focused once more on the witch pressed against his wall and smirked. She blushed prettily.

Their lips met once more.