Castiel felt sleepy. It was weird because Angels don't sleep.
He shrugged it off and keep making dinner for Dean and Sam.
"Do you need any help?" Sam asked, coming into kitchen.
"Can you please put the plates on the table? I'm almost done." I said.
"Did you just yawn?" Dean asked, smiling as he walked into the kitchen.
"Yes. Dean. Sit down. Dinner is ready." I put everything on plates.
I sat down and started to eat.
Mmm. Delicious.
I opened my eyes to see Sam and Dean looking at me weirdly.
"..What?" I asked, taking a sip of my juice.
"It just..It looks weird to see you actually eating and enjoying food.." Dean said in a low and confused voice.
"Well, this is tasty. So eat up." I finshed eating and started washing up.
Sam and Dean finished eating, thanked me, and gave me their plates to wash.
"Good night guys." Sam said and went to bed.
As soon as Sam was out of kitchen Deans arms went around my waist.
I felt Dean's soft lips on my neck.
He pushed his hips against my ass.
I wiped my hands and turned around.
Deans lips were on mine in a deep kiss.
"Let's go to our room." Dean smiled, pecking my lips again.
"Okay." I smiled.
Dean held my hand, going to our bedroom. When we were inside he locked the door and kissed me again well starting to undress me.
It only took Dean some seconds to get me naked and lying on the bed.
I looked into Dean's beautiful green eyes.
Dean smiled and started undressing himself.
I watched his little show and smiled, feeling myself get hard.
Dean came and laid on top of me.
"You are so beautiful, my Angel." Dean murmured against my lips.
I smiled and wrapped my arms around him.
Dean laid beside me, breathing hard.
I yawned again and cuddled against him.
Dean put his arm around me and kissed me.
I kissed him back sleepy.
"Cas, are you okay?" Dean sounded worried.
"'m just tired.." I yawn again and started dozing off.
"After just one round? You are always wanting more and more." Dean laughed.
"Mmm." I started slipping into a deep sleep.
I woke up from a pain in my stomach.
I groaned, sitting up.
"Ouch!" Dean rubbed his side.
"What?" I snapped out, glaring.
"Woah there. Why so grumpy?" He hugged me.
"My stomach hurts." I leaned against Dean and breathed in his scent.
"Stomach? Did I..Was I to rough?" Dean started rubbing my tummy and I was already feeling better, the pain slipping away.
"Keep doing that...Feels so good." I closed my eyes.
"Cas. Castiel!" Dean's yell woke me up with a jolt.
"Hm?" I opened my eyes slightly.
"You fell asleep. Again. It's 2 pm. Are you okay?" Dean asked, worried.
"Yes. I'm hungry." I sat up and tried to rush to the kitchen.
"Cas!" Dean gripped my hand before I could.
"Yes?" I asked him, looking into his eyes.
"Please put some clothes on at least. I don't want Sam seeing you naked." Dean looked serious, clenching his jaw.
"Oh, jealous babe?" I kissed him slowly and smiled.
"Yeah, I am jealous. 'Cause you are only Mine." Dean wrapped a possessive arm around me and smirked. Kissing my neck.
My weird hunger and sleeping habits continued for five months further.
I was more and more sassy and grumpy. And horny.
I think Dean liked the horny part. A lot.
He enjoy it little too much.
I was lying in Dean's bed and watching TV. Angel radio turned on.
"C...ast...iel..." some unfamiliar voice whispered. I figured it was an angel reaching out to me.
"Yes?" I asked, listening closely for the faint voice.
"Danger...you..."
"What? Danger? What danger?" I asked in confused.
"Your stomach...it's wrong...danger..." My angel radio turned off when Dean came inside room.
"Hey! You alright?" Dean crawled inside our bed, kissing me before I even got the chance to answer.
I wrapped my arms around him.
"Now it is." I kissed him, hard. And started undressing him. Pulling of his t-shirt.
"Mmm, someone is horny again." Dean smiled started to undress me.
I cuddled against Dean.
"Will there be a part 5?" Dean smiled and hugged me.
"Don't know." I smiled. Kissing him. "I don't wanna wear you out."
He laughed. Smiling brightly and looking at me with such love.
I felt a soft kick against my stomach. From Dean's face I knew he felt it too.
Kicks kept coming against my stomach.
"What is that Cas?" Dean sat up, alarmed. Staring at me for answers that I couldn't give him.
Little kicks could be seen on my stomach.
Dean put his hand on my stomach carefully.
A strong kick went agiainst his hand. He pulled back as if he had been burned.
"Cas.." Dean looked into my eyes.
He saw my shock and questioning look.
"It feels like a baby is kicking. Only you aren't pragnant." He let out a nervous chuckle.
My eyes went wide.
Sleep, food and all the feels. Angel radio earlier that day...
Fuck!
"Fuck!" I cursed and rushed out of Dean's grip to the mirror.
I looked and I saw the visible changed in my body.
A clear bump was on my stomach.
Oh fuck.
I started to understand what it all meant from what angel radio was saying.
I put my hand on it and felt it.
"I feel it.." I murmured, looking at my baby bump.
Lights flickered and high pitched sound started ringing.
I smiled and let out a soft laugh.
"Of course. Dean's sandwiches are the best." I kept hugging my bum.
Sound continued.
I laughed one more time.
And it continue.
Dean screamed. I looked at him, putting hands against his ears.
"Oh!" I kneeled beside him. My eyes wide.
"What the hell was that?" He was angry, glaring up at me. His hands over mine.
"The baby was talking with me..It doesn't know how to be quite..yet." I whispered.
"Baby?" Dean spat out, confused. "Want to explain what the hell is going on Cas?"
"Oh...well when you said the thing about the baby all the pieces fell in their places and now I feel it. I am pregnant... I didn't know that it could happen with my male vessel. But well, you will be father. And our baby was telling me that it loves your hand and is hungry." I said calmly and put on some clothes.
'W-what?" Dean looked at me like I had three heads, shaking with confusion and shock.
"..I just told you what." I said slowly. "Are you okay Dean?"
Dean stood up and put on his clothes in a hurry,.
"Dean, you look so pale." I tried to grip Dean's arm but he shook my hand off coldly. Not looking at me.
"I need some air." He rushed out of the room, not even glancing at me before leaving.
I was left standing alone in the dark.
Everything felt so cold.
I felt a hot sting start to burn my eyes. And then it started. Hot tears started streaming down my cold cheeks.
The baby was silent.
Angel radio was silent.
The bunker was silent.
I sat alone, looking at the doors.
Waiting.
I was tring not to cry again.
Dean left me...
Why did he leave me?
Wasn't he suppost to be happy? Happy to be the father of our child?
He loved Ben.
It lookked like he wanted a baby.
And I gave him one to share with me and he just..left. Left me alone.
"I don't understand!" I yelled out, the remaining lights exploding in a loud shock.
I felt a soft kick against my stomach.
"Shh...it will be okay..." I whispered, hugging my baby bump.
I felt so broken...
I didn't know how long I stood there, frozen.
When Dean left It felt like my heart was being cut apart with glass.
Being beaten up and left to die was less painful then when Dean left.
I started crying again.
"Please...D-don't c-c..ry...I don't like when you feel like th-this..." A soft voice was speaking in my head.
"Oh baby.. I am so sorry...Let's drink some tea." I stood up and made some tea.
I sat down and drank it.
The clock said it was already eight in the morning.
Dean wasn't back yet.
Sam came into my blurry sight.
"Cas! What's wrong?" He rushed forward and kneeled beside me, scanning me for injury.
I started crying again.
I let Sam hug me tightly and let all my tears out.
Sam hugged me closer to him.
I sat up straight and wiped the tears off my cheeks.
"Now tell me what's wrong." Sam looked so worried. "Where's Dean?"
I resisted the urge to cry all over again.
"I don't know if I can tell you..." My look traveled back to bunker doors.
"Did you and Dean get into fight?" Sam asked in a softer voice
"W-what?" I looked up at Sam.
Has Dean told him about us...? He told me he wanted to wait.
"It's clear that you guys are together. So tell me what's wrong." Sam commanded. Looking into my broken tear filled eyes.
"I... Uh...I am pregnant... I told Dean...I thought he would be happy.. Shocked but happy..He did love Ben and it looked like he wanted a baby...But he just...he stood up and rushed out, saying he needed fresh air... He just left me standing in the dark..." A hot tear ran down my left cheek.
Flashes of Dean leaving me, not even looking at me went through my mind. I closed my eyes tightly.
"But..How can you be pregnant?" Sam asked.
"Sam, Angels don't care about sex. We are just angels. And we can have children. I just didn't think that it could happen in male vessel." I told him truthfully.
"Oh...I understand. How long Dean have been out?-Sam asked.
"Sense 8:13 pm...Sam, it is 8:20 now. He have been gone 12 hours. And his phone is shut off. I don't know what to do.." I was so close to tears once again.
"Oh Cas...This must be big step for him...Dean... You know how he can be...And I think he still think's..Think's he's a bad guy..." Sam carefully choose every word.
"Will he come back...?" I asked with tears in my eyes.
I felt how my baby in my stomach freesed, waiting for an answer.
"I- I don't know...But If I know anything about my big brother he will. He loves you. And you know it." Sam let out a small smile.
"Okay...Yeah...I will go take a little nap... Baby needs rest..." I stood and went to Dean's room.
I curled up in the bed, hugging Dean's pillow.
I cried until sleep took over me.
It has been 36 hours from when Dean left.
He wont answer his phone.
I don't know where he is or if he is alright.
I have cried so much in these hours that my eyes are red and flushed.
I felt so alone.
So broken...
And I start thinking about all the possibilities.
Dean have always loved being with women.
He felt comfortable and confident with them.
I think and think.
And with every hour I started to feel more and more numb.
No more tears.
Dean doesn't love me the same way I love him.
Humans never have known what real love was.
I understand that Dean didn't want to come back because I am here.
That's why I got all my stuff and left. Leaving a short and simple not for Sam.
I texted Dean one last time.
-I am sorry. You can come back home. It will be like you have never met me. I apologize about all the pain I have caused you.. I am sorry Dean." I left my phone at the bunker.
I don't need it anymore.
I just vanished.
I wished I could restore my brain to not feel a damn thing.
This will all be for the better.
I want Dean to be happy.
Even if that means that I need to let Dean walk over my broken soul.
I don't matter.