Kim Pine vs. Her Awful Life
I don't own anything, pinky swear.
It was 10:00 at Second Cup and by the entrance of the coffee shop I, Kim Pine, was sitting there waiting for the arrival of my so called friends who for the third time this week were late again to a band meeting.
"Unbelievable (it's totally believable) there late again!" I said not surprised.
It had been 6 months since Scott and Ramona started their relationship anew and I was jealous. Not about Scott but that they get to have a perfect relationship that I'll never have. At this rate I'll sleep with anyone, the last guy I dated was Jason and he ended up cheating on me. I don't have a job, and I'm mooching off my parents money. I haven't talked to anyone outside of Ramona Scott Neil and stephen in days. If I could I would pour gasoline on my entire life and watch it burn, honestly i swore i got past all this angst crap.
Anyway Scott and I started a new bad which for the record is 10 times shittier than Sex Bob-omb. Our new band, Shatter Band currently consists of Scott, Steve, and me. We asked Young Nei- I mean Neil if he wanted to join but he really didn't wanna be part of the band again. Steve joined after he shamefully asked us if he could be apart of it and we've been working on getting noticed again.
I had my head face down staring at the ground below the table circling my finger around the plastic coffee cup waiting patiently for the arrival of my fellow band members they were always late Scott was busy with Ramona 24/7, considering she can go in his dreams i don't think saying that would be an incorrect statement and Steve is probably with Joseph all the time .
"Hey Kim that bored already, I'm only 10 minutes late?" A voiced called from the entrance.
"Your Late Scott." said the girl with a dark expression.
Scott Pilgrim
Age: 25
Kim's Rating: 3/10
Status: Jerk Friend
Nickname: Loser (Nope that's mine)
"Come on I was busy." Scott said giving me his super effective sad puppy eyes.
"Doing what exactly?" I responded with a heavy sigh.
"Ramona" Scott said with a dirty smug look of accomplishment.
"Please spare me the details," I said with a look of disgust.
Scott smiled "It was just a joke Kimberly." Scott said with an amused look
"Where's Captain Homo at then."
"Banging your dad Kimberly." A voice once again said from across the shop.
Stephen Stills
Age: 24
Kim's Rating: Fag/10 (That's at least a six )
Status: Really Gay (He could match even Wallace)
Nicknames: Captain Homo, the Talent
"Cute stephen, you know your 20 minutes late."
"What else is new Kimberly." Stephen Said staring at me with a confused look with a smug smile underneath.
"Still doing it with Joseph" I said with a curious look.
"No Kimberly We've parted ways.
Steve knows just how to piss me off anytime he wanted to make me angry he would call me Kimberly the name my evil parents gave me. The only person who is allowed to call me it and get to live is Scott because he used to call me that when we were making ou- actually I'd rather not talk about that story anymore.
"Whatever Stephen lets get down to business and talk about what we came here for."
The band thought of ideas to hopefully better themselves but to no avail we thought about playing different instruments to changing their style but no idea felt like it would work. Then as if struck by lightning I suddenly came up with an idea to save Shatter Band.
"I have a great idea for the band guys." I said with a prideful smile.
"What is it?" Scott said with a surprised look
"We get a new member hopefully someone for our vocals." I said with a look of confidence
"But my vocals are amazing Kim I'm hurt you would even suggest that." Scott said with am exaggerated look of pain.
"Please don't start that Scott."
"Ok fine then I'll play nice Kimberly."
"Your vocals are pure garbage, I sure as hell can't sing and if Stephen sings it'll just be Sex Bob-omb, we are trying to be a different ban guys since our old one was disappointingly unsuccessful."
"So who do we get to replace me then?" Scott said
"I really no idea but they have to be better than you and hell even better then Steve."
"I was great." Stephen said
"You were okay I want someone whose vocal talents kick ass."
"I think I can help" A shy and familiar voice said leaning over the table
"Knives," The group said with shocked looks. "what are you doing her?"
Knives Chau
Age: 18
Kim's Rating: 9.5/10
Status: Really Mysterious
Nickname: Chau Down, Sevente-Eighteen Years Old
"Knives what are you doing here shouldn't you be at University?" said Scott with a questioning look
"Don' worry about that Scott I think you guys should be more concerned on filling that spot for a band member, and since I have nothing but free time now I highly suggest you consider me to join.
Knives started singing the lyrics of an old Sex Bob-omb in perfect tune and melody. The tone didn't fit with the music but it still sounded great and could always be adjusted.
Kim looked from head to toe at the girl and a smile formed on her face Kim had finally found someone to fill the role and she had only one thought on her mind 'She is Perfect'
To Be Continued
-A/N: So yeah... that was the first chapter. The next will be better promise. The main character of the story is Kim but I do wanna talk about the other characters more and that won't really start until the next chapter. Next chapter I'll try and stuff everyone in there and make sure its fueled by angst and black humor that i swear!