Title: A'ho.
Author: Hagane ^^\/
Genre: Angst/Romance
Rating: General
Pairing(s): RuMit, [implied] SenMit, RyoAya
Disclaimer: I don't have to disclaim them. They were never mine to begin with. Don't rub it in. T.T
A'ho[[Ayako]]
Mitsui-sempai laughed. Holding the ball under his arm, he laughed.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Ryota asked skeptically, "Have you finally lost it?"
Mitsui-sempai paused, then erupted into fresh peals of laughter. Scowling, Ryota stomped over to him, hands on him, eyes fierce and glaring, face set and grim.
"What's so funny Mitsui-san? Or is it just me?" he asked dangerously.
When Mitsui-sempai didn't answer, he chose another tactic.
"What the bloody heck is wrong with you?" he scowled.
"Me?" Mitsui-sempai blinked, his laughter dissolving immediately.
"Yes you. Does it look like I'm talking to anyone else?"
Mitsui-sempai's eyes narrowed and he gripped the ball tighter.
"None of your business, muffin-head."
That set Ryota in a blaze.
"What's that?"
"Muffin-head." Taunted Mitsui-sempai.
"Do you want to die?" Ryota's eyes glinted dangerously.
"Please." Was the reply. It sounded so offhand, so careless, but much too casual to me. Was he begging?
-o-
"Oi kitsune…"
"What is it a'ho?"
Sakuragi bristled but restrained himself.
"Do you sense anything wrong with Mitchy lately? He seems…………upset."
Sakuragi Hanamichi, you never fail to amaze me. Of all the people to notice, it just had to be him. What is the world coming to? The next thing I know Rukawa'll actually care.
"Of course something's wrong. D'aho. Anyone with eyes would have noticed it."
"TEME! Are you implying that the tensai is just anyone?"
"I'm saying that you are."
"TEME!!!!!"
Thwack! Thwack!
"Ayako-san! It's not fair! He started it!" pointed a teary Sakuragi Hanamichi to his nemesis.
"A'ho." The boy rubbed his head where my hand thwacked him and walked away coolly indifferent.
"Where are you going kitsune? You don't usually leave so early!"
"A'ho. Mind your own business."
"TEME!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
-o-
[[Rukawa]]
"Sempai."
He turned his head to look blankly up at me.
"Sempai."
I wanted to ask if he was okay, if he was fine. I wanted to show that I sympathized, no, empathized with him. But the words wouldn't come. They never did.
He nodded absently before moving on. I didn't think he'd be this affected, but then again, it was Sendoh, the heartbreaker.
Sempai hadn't spoken a word to anyone, but I knew everything that had happened in detail. The porcupine himself had told it to me, no, he had boasted to me how he'd dumped sempai after just 2 weeks. For me.
He'd dumped sempai for me.
I think he expected me to feel flattered or at least impressed. He'd stepped closer, ready to pull me into his arms, certain that he had me this time. What he got was a hard blow in the abdomen.
Good riddance.
Anyone who hurt sempai was a fool. Sendoh was a fool. A fool for letting him go.
But…..
Am I any better?
-o-
I walked him home. No words were exchanged- for the first time I felt uncomfortable with the silence that hung between us. I wanted him to talk. Sempai was always going on about something. That was how he was. Chatty. Crappy. Cute. Now, as we trudged up the driveway to his house, he seemed far from the cheery, cheeky Mitsui Hisashi everyone knew. And loved.
Everyone loved him didn't they? Was it possible for anyone not to? His charming and charismatic personality…. He had all the C qualities… could anyone ask for more?
Apparently Sendoh could. He had him. He had this masterpiece and threw it away.
But does he know that? Does he know how perfect he is?
"Rukawa."
"Sempai?"
"Go home."
"Sempai."
"I'll be fine. Go home."
"Sempai," I insisted stubbornly.
"I'm going to be fine Rukawa. I won't hurt anymore. Okay? Go home."
Reluctantly I turned back down the driveway and headed home.
-o-
Go home.
Sempai.
I'll be fine. Go home.
Why didn't I believe him? He said he would be fine. Wasn't that enough? I should believe him. He wouldn't lie. He said he would be okay. He said he would.
-o-
I tossed restlessly about in bed. Something was bothering me, and sleep wouldn't come. What was it that kept me awake?
I know sempai's at home and he's fine. He said he would be. So I shouldn't worry. I needn't worry.
Is this what I'm worried about? That he might not be fine?
No. He is. He said so himself.
Sempai said so.
He said he would be fine.
He has to be fine.
-o-
[[Mitsui]]
I'm fine. I really am. I've never felt better.
Thank god for knives.
-o-
[[Rukawa]]
I still can't sleep. Something's not right.
What is it?!!
I'm going to be fine Rukawa.
He said so.
I won't hurt anymore.
Why don't I believe him?
Okay? Go home.
Then it hit me.
I'm going to be fine Rukawa.
I won't hurt anymore.
Okay? Go home.
"Sempai no a'ho!!!!"
-o-
I burst into his house, alarming the servants, and sprinted up the staircase.
'Which one is his?!!!' I yelled furiously to myself, jogging down the hallway full of doors.
A soft thud from behind one made me froze in place.
Shit.
"Sempai!" I tried to unlock the door but it held fast. Panicking, I picked a chair and smashed it against the door. I was spent from training, but panic and fear fed me.
Please let him be fine. Like he said he would be.
-o-
[[Mitsui]]
What's that loud, thumping sound? Is this how it sounds when your life's draining out of you? Like your eardrums are bursting from this dull thudding that threatens to split your head.
Is this how it feels like to die?
-o-
A crashing sound and ragged breathing, then someone grabbed my shoulders and shook me hard.
My eyelids fluttered, but wouldn't open.
My life's draining out of me…. It hurts…. But at least I'll be fine. I won't hurt anymore.
-o-
[[Rukawa]]
"Sempai!" I whispered harshly. His eyelids fluttered but didn't open.
Fear threatened to consume me but I refused to succumb. Not now. Not when he's still alive.
I stared around his room for any possible help. His servants had gathered at his battered door, and were now gaping in horror at the state their master was in. It angered me how they could be so selfish.
"Call the ambulance!" I snapped. "Don't just stand there! Help me!"
It wasn't till later that I realized how ironic it was. I, Rukawa Kaede, was asking for help.
-o-
"Breathe, breathe, breathe!!!!" I murmured, watching the rise and fall of his chest intently.
'Don't leave me now!' I screamed in my head.
He was in critical condition; too much blood had been lost. I'd offered mine immediately. Anything, anything to save him.
I was willing to give anything. Anything.
For him.
You can't die on me now.
Please. You can't die on me now.
-o-
[[Mitsui]]
There's a dull, throbbing pain in my head. My whole body feels weak. Is this how it feels like to be dead? Am I dead?
Slowly and painfully, I open my eyes. An overwhelming wave of nausea came over me suddenly. Everything was white. White- polished to perfection. And that smell…. I'd smelled it before. Very often in fact….
"Sempai?"
Huh? He was here in heaven also? Sure, I deserve to go to hell but this has to be heaven right? Everything here's white.
A face appeared before me.
Rukawa?
What's he doing in heaven?
-o-
[[Rukawa]]
He blinked at least. He recognized me and blinked.
"Sempai? Daijoubu desuka?" I whispered.
He nodded his head and winced.
[[Mitsui]]
I'm not dead. I can't be dead. I'm in the hospital. With Rukawa.
That explains the smell at least.
What's he doing here?
-o-
[[Rukawa]]
"Sempai….."
He gazed at me questioningly, eyes wide and translucent- I could see into their beautiful blue depths. Was it only some hours ago that they'd been stained with tears? And shut tight?
"I….. was worried." I whispered softly, so only he could hear.
He smiled a little. "Told you I'd be fine."
"…………."
He turned his gaze back to the ceiling.
What was so fascinating about the white tiles on the ceiling? They were all so white….. so….pure….I'd rather gaze at the floor- it was clean, but you could see the stains and marks here and there….. at least it was more interesting to look at. My eyes wandered back to him.
He was still staring at the ceiling. What was it about the ceiling that so caught his attention? He looked thoughtful and I assumed he was contemplating philosophical thoughts.
Oh. I get it.
He prefers the ceiling because it's clean, pure, untouched- a lot of work had to be done to keep them polished to perfection. The floor however, no matter how hard anyone tried, they would not be able to keep it totally clean.
Is he thinking about his heart? That maybe keeping his heart perfectly intact was a lot of hard work, but even then, there would always be a stain. Like the floor. Did he wish it to be like the ceiling then?
"Sempai."
He turned to look at me.
"You said you'd be fine."
He looked surprised at my slightly accusing tone.
"You said you wouldn't hurt anymore."
I turned away, not wanting him to see the tears in my eyes.
Why couldn't he see how much I cared? Why couldn't he just put Sendoh behind him and move on? How am I to show that I cared?
Slowly, I felt a warm touch on my arm. It was him. He was sitting up and his arm reached out for mine.
"I'm sorry." Was all he said.
I tried to hide my feelings. I didn't want him to know.
"Rukawa," he whispered, "I'm sorry."
Suddenly, I remembered something I'd said before.
Anyone who hurt sempai was a fool. Sendoh was a fool.
But……
Am I any better?
It hit me right then.
I was no better than Sendoh.
I was worse.
-o-
"Sempai…." I finally turned to look at him.
"Rukawa."
The words caught in my throat. I wanted to say them. I wanted him to know. But they were lodged firmly in my throat. I was never one for words anyway.
Instead, with a trembling hand, I reached out to him.
His eyes followed my movement curiously. They widened as I caressed his cheek and closed as I ran my hands gently over them.
So perfect, this man.
My fingers traced the firm jaw and brushed lightly over his lips. I smiled as he licked his lips unconsciously.
Yes, if I let him go without even having him, then I would be a bigger fool.
So I leant over to plant a kiss, my first, on those soft, moist lips.
-o-
[[Ayako]]
Mitsui-sempai's back to his noisy, teasing self again. It's a relief, he had everyone worried there.
And is that a smile I see on Rukawa Kaede's face?
-o-
[[Rukawa]]
Sempai's happier now. He hasn't forgotten Sendoh completely, but he will in time. I'm here to help.
Oh, and it turned out that that time in the hospital, when he was staring at the ceiling, well, he wasn't thinking anything. Nothing at all.
It was just me. But I'm glad I did.
I would be a fool now if I hadn't.
-o- owari -o-