Disclaimer: No, they are not mine…."Criminal Minds" belongs to CBS.
Summary: Your mask is just as perfect as ever, giving the impression that you are unbreakable. Unstoppable.
Authors Note: I think this can be considered as a follow-up for my previous one-shot "Saviour of the night".
A/N 2: Carly, thanks for your support and the help with the title. Beta is by carlyisnot and audiopineapple.
You wake in the morning and you are freezing. You open your eyes and adjust to the bright light that is coming through the windows and suddenly you remember. Last night. You and JJ. Quickly looking to your side you find the bed empty. JJ is gone.
You can't help but wonder for a moment if you imagined the whole night, if it was just a pleasant dream. You wanted it so long that maybe it was just the trick of your mind, a hallucination that was too vivid. But you can feel the cold sheet beside you and her scent still lingering on the pillow. If you look close enough you can catch a glimpse of blonde hair lying patiently on the soft surface, mocking you.
You are not sure if it's a good or a bad thing that JJ left. Jennifer. When you were in your ecstasy of your orgasms just a few hours ago you called out her name. That exact name, out loud and she didn't protest. She welcomed your light whispers, your screams. She welcomed you willingly.
She didn't shy away from you after this impromptu night of passion. You drifted off to sleep in her embrace, her arms around you, holding on her like a lifeline.
Like it was your nightly routine.
The office is buzzing when you arrive. Your mask is just as perfect as ever, giving the impression that you are unbreakable. Unstoppable. But deep down you fear JJ. You wonder how she will act around you because, yet again, you are not sure you know anything about her. Will she pretend like nothing happened? Will she want to discuss last night, why she left without a word? But most importantly: Will you let her explain?
That's when Hotch storms in and says briefing is in 5 minutes.
You, Morgan and Reid quirk an eyebrow at each other, and finally Derek asks where JJ is.
Hotch sizes the three of you up like you are supposed to know. "She asked for a few weeks off. Said needs some time…"
You don't hear the rest of the conversation because you are too shocked. Too shocked as anger rushes through your body and completely lost as your realize that she choose to run, away from you. You stare ahead of yourself, breathing in and out, trying to make sense any of this. You were too afraid to ask her those burning questions yesterday, you were too scared that if you did, she might leave you there, totally undone.
Now you know you shouldn't have worried. She ran anyway.
When the briefing is over, you slumped back into your chair, growling, cursing inside. You don't this. You don't want to feel this way. You grab your go-bag and something catches your eyes; a note, folded in half. You reach for it, open it with one hand. You instantly recognize her elegant handwriting. After scanning through the content, you furiously throw the message in the trash and start for the door, not even looking back.
The note's violent yellow color breaks the harmony of the crumpled papers calmly resting in the bin. It contains four words only, written in big bold letters: "I'm sorry. I can't."