Me vs. Spike Vs. Myself

Song- Me vs Mardona vs Elvis, by Brand New

Disclaimer: I own neither the song lyrics nor the characters

With one or two I get used to the room.
We go slowly when we first make our moves.
But five or six bring you out to the car.
Number nine with my head on the bar.

It's your rebirthing celebration, and tonight I'm going to get my gift. I hope you really aren't thinking I took you out drinking to celebrate with you. No, I'm celebrating something different- I finally get to get the best of you. You know for being the other champion, you certainly can't hold your alcohol. It's cute watching you flirt with girls young enough to be your mortal self's niece, when you can't even say your own name without stuttering. Not that I really care if you make an ass out of yourself, either way you'll end up in my bed tonight…

Funny that every time you get rejected you come to me for condolence, but you don't seem to care when you reject me. I'm sure you'd deny you never noticed how I've been pinning for you over the last few months. Of course you would, You're Spike, and everyone knows you are too hardcore to be gay.

I watch you walk over, and tell me how that girl just threw that drink in your face. Poor unfortunate fool, no girl falls for your cheesy pickup lines. Listening to you bitch about how it stinks being a ghost, and how lonely you are is worth getting a chance to unravel your world. I really don't care if you never get a chance to be with the one you love. Whine all you want, no one has sympathy for vampires with souls, even if I am curious to see the girl of your dreams. It's nice to see you scorned.

I look at my watch and decide it's time to take you back to my hotel room. You of course decide to sit on the hood of my car and cry about how unbelievable this person is, and how they'll never understand your feelings toward them, and how they'll cop out of dealing with you by saying it's too soon after you became corporeal …

Ah Spike is in love – how pathetic.

And it's sad, but true.
Out of cash and I owe.
I got you.

It's almost time for us to check back in with Gunn and Wes, we wouldn't want little Spikey staying up too late, he'd be cranky for our next project. You're lucky I wanted to get down your pants since we met.

You better put out tonight with all the money I spent on booze- I even had to open up a tab.

Desperate desires and unadmirable plans.
My tongue will taste the gin and malicious intent.

You're so wasted by the time you make it into my car. You're so drunk you give me a big hug and a sloppy kiss as you thank me for taking you out.

Yeah, this is going to be so sweet.

Gunn and Wes don't really seem to care as they watch you stubble around; until you run into the wall and fall flat on your ass that is.

"Take care of him tonight, you got him this way, you can baby sit" Gunn mutters and walks away before either of us can protest.

Not that you would, you actually seem eager to get into my room. I guess when you're drunk you'll let anyone seduce you. I always thought you were a slut.

A sober straight face gets you out of your clothes.
And they're scared that we know all the crimes they'll commit.
Who they'll kiss before they get home.

I decide to go into the bathroom, and see just how comfortable you make yourself. I change into my boxers and walk into our bedroom. Figures… You look up from the bed, naked, engorged, and crying. I try my hardest not to laugh at how pathetic you look. I lean over and tilt your chin up and give you a soft kiss. I whisper some bullshit about how no one will ever know and lean you back onto the bed.

This is too fucking great. If only I had a camera to broadcast this across the world.

You kiss me and tell me how horrible you feel about your life.

Great a fucking emotional time bomb… still I can use this…

I tell you none of it matters as I start to caress you. You let out a sigh, sometimes if I wonder if you know how girly you act.

"Hold up Angel" you moan, and walk to the bathroom.

When you come back I'll be waiting…

I will lie awake. Lie for fun and fake the way I hold you.
Then you'll fall for every empty word I say.
Barely conscious in the door where you stand.

I take off my boxers and wait for you to come out. I lie back on my bed and I know you're in the door way because I hear your voice hitch.

"Spike, I want you to feel comfortable, I know your drunk and this may not be what you want in the morning" Like your concerned I see you starring at my erection. Try to tell me that you're straight in the morning…

You don't say a word to acknowledge I even spoke. You pounce on the bed and wrap yourself around me. We twist and turn, and you drive yourself deeper into my revenge.

Your eyes are fighting sleep while your mouth makes your demands.

Little shit, you act like I'm your bitch as you yell commands at me: harder, faster, stay like that, and don't stop; like you have a choice, you're the one who's getting fucked…

…in more ways then one.
One quick turn of my hips and you explode.
After we wash up you crawl up next to me and put your head on my chest. I hold you close to me, as you drift off to sleep.

You laugh at every word, trying hard to be cute.
I almost feel sorry for what I'm gonna do.
And your hair smells of smoke.
Who will cast the first stone?

As morning approaches I get ready for the sweetest part of my plan, not that deflowering you was bad.

You awake to see you clothes on a pile on our bed, and me fully dressed.

"Angel, about last night…" You laugh nervously.

You look so shy... it's almost discouraging.

"It's okay it was just sex, it's not like either of us mean anything to each other"

"But… I just wanted…"

"Really Spike it's okay, just get dressed, it didn't mean anything"

You can't sit or spend the night all-alone.

You look at me right in my eyes and start to cry. You start talking about all the relationships you've had and how none of them mattered to you. You weep loudly, as you tell me how lonely you are.

You're using all your looks that you've thrown from the start.
If you let me have my way,
I swear I'll tear you apart.
Cause it's all you can be.

I go to make my kill as you cry harder…

You're a drunk and you're scared.
"Angel, I'm gay"

"As if I couldn't tell from last night"

I will lie awake.
Lie for fun and fake the way I hold you.

You embrace me and cry on my shoulder…

"Angel I'm so glad you understand, I…"

"Really Spike I do but you should leave, it's not that I don't care; but haven't you ever heard about the afterglow- it's dead, and I'm done here"

Then you'll fall for every empty word I say.

"Angel I love you!" you say it with such conviction, "you asshole, you're the one I wanted."

Fuck, you weren't supposed to say that!

With tears you throw on your clothes and run toward the door. I grab your arm and kiss you, as you struggle against me. With one swift punch I'm on my ass.

"You're a bastard", as your foot comes down on my crotch, "what do you have to say about that".

You open the door and are halfway out when I say those words that I wanted to say for years.

"I love you Spike, I didn't know…"

The door slams shut, and I lie on the floor wishing I didn't mean that last sentence so goddamn much.
Finish