After the spectacle at the fete with Maxine's outburst and finding out that Amy was dead, the three of us returned home, quite concerned about Kieren's wellbeing.
So I know it wasn't like I was Amy's best friend or anything, but I'd seen the way that Kieren was with her. He always looked so happy, and now she was gone, just like Rick was gone, and I was terrified that this was going to tear him apart.
The short walk home from the village hall seemed never ending, and it was as if hours had gone passed by the time Dad had managed to put the key into the lock.
Walking into the living room it looked like nobody was home. The lights were off and the whole house seemed so still and quiet. I was about the check upstairs, but then I heard it.
I turned my head to face mum and dad and they had obviously heard it too.
The muffled sound of someone sobbing.
At least it sounded like sobbing, I'm not even sure if Kieren can actually cry anymore.
In trepidation I gently walked towards the dining room being careful not the startle my brother, and there he was, sitting on the floor, legs up to his chest and head buried in his knees, leaning up against the wall next to the computer desk.
Turning back to mum and dad again, they were still standing one step behind me, noticeably just as worried as I was, and not quite sure what to do.
So I did what I thought was best. I shuffled over to where Kieren was and slid down the wall next to him.
Putting my arm around his shoulders, Kieren looked up at me, his big white eyes locking with my green ones.
"Kieren," I whispered.
But that was all I managed before he wrapped both his arms around me and pulled me close.
"Sorry," he whispered back. He wasn't crying anymore but I could still feel his body shaking slightly.
"Don't Kieren, you've got nothing to be sorry for."
We stayed like that for what felt like hours, simply enjoying each other's company, but all the while there was one question on my mind.
I didn't want to bring it up, but I had to know.
"Kieren…what happened in the graveyard?"
Slowly he raised his head and our eyes met again. After seeing him rabid he knew that I was going to have questions.
Without saying a word, he removed his arms from my shoulders and slowly stood up. Holding his hand out to me, he helped me stand too, leading me over to the table.
Mum and Dad, who had been sitting at the table silently the whole time not wanting to disturb us, watched as Kieren took his usual seat opposite me and the three of us waited for him to speak.
He looked down at his hands, refusing to make eye contact with anyone.
"This morning after you locked me in my room something happened with Gary. He must have been on guard duty outside at the time..."
"No he wasn't" my dad butted in, "I was speaking to Dean this morning and he told me that he was on all day."
"Well they must have swapped or something because Gary came in looking for me."
"He came in the house?"
"Yeah"
Why would Gary come indoors? The guards were only supposed to stand outside to make sure that Kieren didn't leave the house.
"Well he came in and pushed me onto the bed, then he tied my hands together behind my back and started trashing my room, looking for something. He was adamant that there was going to be an attack at some point during the day and he thought that I knew something about it."
"And did you?" I shouldn't have asked. I knew Kieren wouldn't get involved in anything like that, but I had to be certain.
"No…and I tried to tell him that but… he found a bottle of Blue Oblivion in my drawer…"
I suddenly looked up from where I had been picking at my nails.
"What?"
Kieren looked up at me then, staring straight across the table, "They weren't mine Jem I swear. I found them at the bungalow."
"So you took them?" Mum's voice was filled with confusion for what her son was telling us.
"I thought that it might stop someone from doing something stupid! I wasn't going to use them, I would never!"
"So how did you become…you know…" Dad was obviously just as confounded as I was.
"Well straight away Gary just assumed that it was me that was going to cause the attack, so he dragged me outside and shoved me into his truck. We were only driving for a few minutes but when he stopped I could see that we were in the fields just outside of the graveyard…"
Kieren closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
"He opened up the Blue Oblivion and poured it into my...my…"
He dragged his hand across the hole at the top of his spine where his medication goes.
"I didn't want to turn rabid, that's the last thing I ever wanted, so I tried to get him off me…but I couldn't…there was nothing I could do…so when he cut the tie around my wrists I just ran."
Kieren's voice was shaking slightly.
"I ran and the first place I saw was the graveyard…I tried to tie myself down to that grate over the Vicar's grave so that I wouldn't hurt anyone…but I couldn't...I could feel myself turning and I…I was so scared… I didn't want to turn into that again."
If there weren't tears in Kieren's eyes by this point, there definitely were in mine.
"But you tried to fight it son, I saw you."
Kieren was looking down at his hands again.
"I could feel it inside me…the change…but then I saw you, and I didn't want to hurt you, I didn't want to hurt anyone…so I tried so hard to fight it…"
"And you did!"
Dad had picked up Kieren's hands and was holding them in his.
"You did. And I'm so proud of you."
"We all are." Mum whispered, stroking Kieren's arm.
Kieren lifted his head slightly to look at me. I smiled at him. It was only a small smile, and I didn't even have to say anything, but he knew exactly what it meant. I love you and I'm so proud of you too.
"If it's okay with you, I think I'd like to be on my own for a while." Kieren muttered softly whilst pushing his chair back and standing up.
"Of course son."
Kieren dragged himself over to the door and made his way upstairs.
Seeing Kier like that made me realise what I had to do. What I should have done a while ago.
Picking up my keys from the side I left the house, shouting back to mum and dad that I would be back later.
Walking down the road; my feet quickly carried me to my destination. The Legion.
Pulling the heavy door open I spotted Gary immediately. He was sitting alone, probably waiting for Dean or one of his other mates to turn up.
I hesitated in the doorway, making sure of what I was going to say, before walking right up to his table.
"Y'alright Jem."
No I was not alright. Not after everything that had happened today, and he probably wasn't going to be either by the time I'd finished.
"Gary can I talk to you…outside"
"Umm…yeah sure…"
Reluctantly he followed me back outside, and I waited until we were out of the way of the entrance before speaking.
"I think we should break up"
Just come right out with it Jem why don't you.
"What?" Gary replied half-laughing, unsure if I was being serious or not.
"Umm…"
No Jem, don't vacillate. Go on, be strong! Say how you feel; tell him exactly what you want.
"You heard me"
Gary's face dropped.
"I don't want to be with you anymore, not after everything you did today."
"What are you talking about Jem?"
Don't play dumb with me Gary.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about"
No reply came, just a blank face.
Fine I'll make it a bit easier for you shall I? "Kieren"
"What's that stinking rotter got to do with anything?"
"Don't call him that."
"Why, that's what he is."
Someone tell me why I agreed to date this guy again.
"I know what you did to him today. Forcing him to take the Blue Oblivion, to turn rabid!"
"Is that what that dead head told you Jem?" He was getting angry. "He's lying! He just don't want to admit to you that he actually chose to turn rapid and try to kill people!"
Oh no you don't. You do not force my brother to go through his living nightmare and then try to deny it.
To be honest I'm not sure why I was surprised, it's not like it was the first time Gary had picked on Kieren. It's just like when he and Simon had come over for dinner and he was saying everything he could to try to get under Kieren's skin, or the number of times they'd all terrorised him before he died, just because he wasn't like them.
"It's over Gary."
I suppose I should have been more angry, should have fought more to make him admit to what he did, but I was just so tired, tired of all the bullshit that was happening at the moment.
Looking into his eyes one last time I turned and started to walk down the path.
"So that's it then? You just gonna believe what he tells you?" Gary called from behind me.
"Believe him over you?"
I turned to face him again.
"Any day."
And that was it. I left him standing there watching me go.
As I was walking I let out a long sigh and smiled, because it was true. So yeah I didn't really like the idea of my brother being a PDS sufferer, but he's my brother and I really would chose him over anyone.