Eating Me Away – A What If Fic
Author's Note: Well, well, it has indeed been awhile hasn't it? I've had a lot of Ouran related ideas but no Naruto related ones. So yeah, this fanfic is a bit of a what if fic about Sasuke and what happens after he's had the cursemark for a few years.
It's eating me away
I said to God
It's rotting in my mind
It still hurt. The thing on his neck still hurt. Even at age twenty-one. The former ninja of Konohagakure still had that thing on his neck. He felt his mind wasting away as though he was actually on drugs. It was his drug, a drug he was forced to deal with for his entire life. It was this cursemark that was what cost him everything.
It's like a cancer
Is there anything, anything at all to numb the nothingness
I need a reason to breathe
It's eating me away
He wanted so badly to get rid of it. He hated the thing on his neck with every fiber of his being. His brother was still alive, the curse had done him no good, he wanted it off. Yet in some perverted way he wanted to keep it. No one knew how to take it off of him. Only how to seal it. But as his former sensei had told him long ago, the only seal that could be put onto the curse mark was as strong as his will. He was an addict, there was no way he could stand being away from his drug for very long.
Even after his return to the village a year ago, his friends looked down upon him, granted he was allowed to live in the village again, but that didn't garuntee him an apartment or small house to live in. No one wanted to rent him a place to live. He was trusted by no one after his betrayel of Konoha. And it was all because of that thing!
Yeah, yeah...
It's eating me away
It nibbles at my brain
The question of my existence
And the matter of pain
His will to live was torn. He hated himself, he was so young, so blind, so idiotic. He had allowed his hate and want of revenge consume him. His stubbornness as a teenager was what had condemned him to live on the streets for the remainder of his years. He had bounties on his head and was wanted in just about every country that had a hidden village involved in the chunin exams so long ago.
I shake my fist, I shake my fist
At the cosmos and my insignificance
I need a reason to breathe
He looked at the small grave in front of him. It was his daughter. His baby daughter. She had only survived for a week. She, like him, was tormented by the same pain, addicted to the same drug. How this had happened, no one knew. All that was known was that it was his fault that she was born like that. The mother was just a woman he had met one night and didn't see again until it was found out that he was the father of that woman's child. That woman had moved to the village shortly after he had gone, so she didn't know that he was the most taboo member of the ninja village.
He had blames himself for the baby's death. He had murdered her. If she was born to a different mother and father then she could have lived.
It's eating me away
Save me from my rage
And my humanity
I'm more nothing than being
Is this my legacy
He was a former shell of a person. He always had been. He didn't understand why life had casted him such an unlucky lot. Not even his 'best friend' would help him, who was now the Hokage of the village. Nor the girl who had followed him around all the time when they were younger who was now the head of the village's hospital. No one could help him. He had no legacy to pass on to the next generation. The Uchiha clan would die out.
Feel it eating me away
Yeah, yeah...
All that I am, all that I want, all that I lack
Come on and save me
All that I am, all that I want, all that I lack
He could feel himself slowly going insane. He didn't really know what insanity felt like though. He felt himself wilting. Wanting something so stupid, wanting to do something so naïve it was stupid when he was so young. He couldn't erase that past mistake. His former friends wouldn't allow him to erase that past mistake. He didn't want to have to beg for their forgiveness.
Come on and save me
Save me from my rage
And my humanity
Even though being alone was driving him towards suicide, he was still too much of an egoist to go back and beg. He needed them to want him back. He desperately wanted them to fight for him to come back like they did that time so long ago, when he didn't want to go back. He had acted stupid. He knew he did, but he just didn't want to admit it.
I'm more nothing than being
Is this my legacy
Feel it eating me away
Yeah, yeah...
He stepped through Konoha's gate. It was the middle of the night. It took all of his willpower to take those fateful steps. He walked towards the Hokage tower.
"Well, Naruto, Sakura, I'm back." Sasuke whispered as he leaned against the outside wall of the Hokage tower. He had changed so much. His raven colored black hair had grown out, and he was dressed all in black like he was before the chunin exams. A sword in its hilt sat on his hip, a small Uchiha creast was on the hilt.
He slid down the wall and sat.
All that I am, all that I want, all that I lack
Come on and save me
All that I am, all that I want, all that I lack
Come on and save me
He felt his eyes closing and he was soon asleep. He woke up with a little kid in his face.
"Do you want something?" he asked the little boy.
"What are you doing here Mister?" the boy asked. Sasuke sighed. "I'm Uzumaki Arai, my Otou-chan's the Hokage. Did you want to talk to him?" Arai asked. The little boy looked like he was one or two, the age that Sasuke's daughter would have been.
"ARAI! COME BACK HERE!" exclaimed a voice.
"Shoot it's Ojiichan." Arai muttered and kicked the dirt.
"Ojiichan?" Sasuke asked him.
"Hai. He's my otouchan's former sensei, or one of them anyway."
It's eating me away
Save me from my rage
And my humanity
"Sensei? Iruka? Kakashi? Jiraiya?" Sasuke asked the little boy.
"Jiraiya-ojiichan." Arai replied. Sasuke sighed. Wasn't the old guy in his sixties or seventies now?
I'm more nothing than being
Is this my legacy
Feel it eating me away
"Arai? I thought I heard your voice out here." A voice said and the door opened. It was Naruto. "Sasuke?!"
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Author's Note: This might be continued…ionno though.