I, Ace McShane, will not
1. Use Nitro 9 to blow up locked doors.
2. Brew Nitro 9 on the TARDIS.
3. Use Nitro 9 before the twentieth century.
4. Hit the Professor with his umbrella. This is not funny.
5. Use Nitro 9 without the Professor's permission.
6. Ask when we will get to Perivale.
7. Use Nitro 9 as laundry detergent.
7a. Or put Nitro 9 in the soap.
7b. Or near the toaster.
8. Ask the Professor if we can "go back for the fez".
9. Play heavy metal music at the highest possible volume.
10. Talk to other pyromaniacs.
11. Slap people.
11a. Especially the Professor.
12. Tell the Professor, "I told you so."
13. Punch a clown in the face even if it surprises me.
14. Set foot on a battlefield. The lives of everyone else on the battle field would be at risk.
15. Call the Doctor the Professor.