Happy?

by end-of-rainbow

It has a little Merder, but not really Merder. It has a little Addek, but not really Addek. It focuses on Addison and Derek on their own.

Disclaimer: I don't own Derek, Addison, Meredith, Mark, and Savvy, they're all Shonda's.

So one night, this one scene popped into my mind, and I had to write this to get it out of my head. So, this is it, it's a one shot. The song is called "Happy?" by Intwine.

Happy?

Isn't it strange
That the stars don't shine no more, now since you're gone

"I miss you," she gave him a peck on his cheek. "You did great in there."

"Thanks," he gave her his McDreamy look. "I miss you, too."

"It's a slow day today," she lowered her voice. "Bailey is in a good mood."

"Really?" He glanced at her while writing on his chart, "No mountainous scut work to do?"

"Miraculously no," she inched closer to him. "Are you busy?"

"Are you suggesting something?" he smiled, knowingly.

"Why, I don't know," she winked. "Do you have anything in mind?"

They left the nurses station hand in hand.

Isn't it strange
That we can't look back and see just what went wrong

6 weeks. It has been 6 weeks. 6 weeks since everything….

"Addison?" Miranda Bailey called out.

She jumped slightly, "Miranda…."

"A penny for you thought?"

"Six weeks, Miranda…."

"You have got to…"

"I know, I…. " She closed her eyes for a moment, her hand gripping the rail in the elevator.

"Addison?"

She opened her eyes, "It's nothing, just the usual…."

"Addison." Miranda repeated her name, this time sternly.

"I woke up this morning with this feeling, Miranda."

"What feeling?"

The elevator door opened and they exited together.

"I don't know…" she trailed her words, "Something's not right."

"Perhaps if you tell…"

"It's not that. This is diff…." She stopped at the sight of the couple leaving the nurse's station hand in hand.

Miranda followed her friend's stare.

"Tell me, Miranda. Tell me how I'm supposed to tell him," Addison whispered.

"I don't know," she put a hand on Addison's shoulder, "But you've got to."

I wanna know now where we are
Should I pretend and let things be

Derek closed his cell phone and turned to Meredith.

"It's the…"

"Yeah."

"Everything's okay?

"Yeah, everything's going according to plan."

"You're okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know," she shrugged, "The first time around you didn't sign it."

"But this is different."

"Is it?"

"Addison and I are over," he sighed. "You chose me over Finn, and I chose you over her."

He watched her nodded silently and kissed her.

"We're together now, you and I," he smirked and pulled her hand. "Come on."

You knowing what you've done
Could you come face to face with me

Addison looked around the hall to make sure no one was around and dragged the machine into the exam room. She leaned forward on the bed when another wave of pain surged to her stomach. She took long deep breaths and held back her tears. Please, no….

When the pain had ceased, she opened her eyes again and set up the machine. Very slowly, she undid the bottom buttons of her shirt, sat down on the exam table, and squirted the cold gel on her. Her hand trembled as she reached for the wand and guided it across her lower abdomen.

The image on the screen was fuzzy, but she noticed it right away because it wasn't moving as it supposed to be. She glanced back at the machine to look at the volume. It was turned all the way up, but there was no sound of heartbeat heard in the room. Her left hand clutched the edge of the table, while her other hand held firmly around the wand still placed on her stomach. Her worst fear had come true, eleven weeks and it didn't make it.

Tears fell as she grieved for the baby she didn't expect but wanted so dearly. Addison's breath became jagged, but she refused to take her eyes off of the screen. She was saying her goodbye.

And isn't it strange
That you told me one thing, suddenly change your mind

Meredith looked around the empty hallway. "It's empty."

"That's exactly why I took you here," he grinned, "This hall is the quietest of all."

"Mmmm hmmm," she mumbled as he pressed his lips on hers. "We still have to find a room."

His arms were around her waist, hers around his neck. He was walking backward as she pushed forward. He slightly turned to the left and reached one hand back to grab a door handle.

"Let's try this one," he pressed down the handle and pushed the door opened with his back.

Derek broke from the kiss and turned around when he heard Meredith gasped. "Addison!"

It took him only a second to notice her distraught appearance, the wand she was holding, and the machine. His head immediately shot up to the screen. His eyes saw an outline of a fetus. He knew the truth his brain had yet to process. For what feel like the longest time, no one moved nor said a word.

Addison was the first one to make a sound as she turned away from her soon to be ex-husband and his lover. "I'm sorry," she wiped her cheeks, "I'll be out of your way."

No one said a word as she scurried to clean the gel from her stomach, button up her shirt, and turn the machine off. He watched as Addison's body swayed and her face winced in pain when her feet touched the ground. There was an urge to rush to her side and hold her steady, but he couldn't seem to move.

"Addison…" he finally managed to let out. "What…is that…what…" he felt his throat dry up.

Addison didn't reply. She held her head down to avoid his gaze as she made her way toward the door.

"Addison…" he grabbed her arm when she walked past him.

"Don't worry, Derek," she finally looked up. He swore he had never seen her eyes looked so dead before. "It's gone. It won't be your obligation, just like I'm not anymore."

His hand fell to his side and Addison slipped out of the room. An unknown pang pierced his body as her words echoed in his mind. "It's gone. It won't be your obligation…."

And isn't it strange
That you'd come here for me, turn away and leave me behind

Addison strode through the surgical hall in record speed to find Miranda Bailey. She almost ran into the resident when they turned the corner.

"Jesus Addis…" Miranda's voice softened at the disheveled attending, "You paged me. What's going on?"

"I need you to help me, Miranda." Her voice was low, but Miranda heard the desperation.

"What's wrong?" She was beginning to worry.

Addison looked around and pulled Miranda into the stairwell. She groaned in pain and brought a hand on her stomach.

"Oh no…" Miranda whispered sadly as she held up her friend.

Addison nodded and looked at Miranda Bailey in the eyes, "I need you to get me into a room and there will be no chart…"

"Addison…"

"I said no chart, Miranda!"

No one raised a voice to Miranda Bailey, but for once the Nazi fell silence at the order, "The Chief…."

"He knows I'm pregnant—was," she immediately corrected herself, "Was pregnant. He'll understand when you tell him what happened."

Miranda nodded, "What else?"

"Find Jennifer Kempford, she's my OB. And my nurses," she closed her eyes again to numb the feeling, "Anne Jameson and Cassandra Lee, I trust them."

"Alright, let's find you a room," she took Addison's arm, "Can you walk?"

The redhead nodded in pain. Miranda made sure the hallway was clear before she lead Addison out of the stairwell.

Now it feels like I'm drowning
Feels like I'm drowning without you

Derek stared at the wall of the on call room. The previous scene played repeatedly in his head. He turned toward the door as Meredith walked in and sat down beside him. He had left her in the exam room without a word after Addison left. He didn't know what to say then. Nor did he know what to say now.

"How are you feeling?" she rubbed his back comfortingly.

"I don't know," he looked down at his hands, "Addison's pregnant, was, she was pregnant…."

She pulled her hand into her lap, "Do you…. I don't mean to be…."

"What, Meredith?" he glanced at her.

"Mark is here..." she studied him, "Don you think it could've been…."

"Don't," his voice rose as did he from the bed. "It was mine."

"I didn't mean to be snide, but you've been separated for six weeks, Derek."

"It was bigger than a six weeks old fetus would be." He turned around before he exited the room, "Being married to her at least taught me that much."

I know the feeling
'Cause I felt this all before

Miranda locked the door after the secret sworn Dr. Jennifer Kempford and the two older nurses left.

"You can cry now," she said softly and took hold of one of Addison's hand.

Addison kept her stare on the window, away from the woman sitting on her bed, "Derek knows. He walked in with her, kissing and giggling." A tear rolled down her cheek, "And there I was, mourning over our dead child."

"Oh Addison…." Miranda felt her eyes welled up with tears; she had not gotten this emotional since Little Tuck's birth.

"He's going to find you and ask you where I am," she finally faced Miranda.

Miranda understood, "He's not going to come near you if I can help it."

"It's good this way, don't you think?" her voice shook as she tried to hold back the sobs, "It makes things less complicated. He can be completely happy with her, like he should be. There'll be no kid he should worry about, no child to tie him back to me…."

"You don't mean that, Addie." She squeezed the hand she was holding, "You love that baby."

"What is love going to do, Miranda? It's not enough. I won't be on this bed if it was enough to keep my child alive." More tears flowed freely down her face, "It certainly wasn't enough to keep the father around. If love was enough, he would still be here with me."

I hope you don't feel just like me
I hope you don't feel just like me

"Dr. Sloan," Miranda approached the plastic surgeon, "May I ask you something?"

"Dr. Bailey," he smiled, "What can I help you with?"

"I need Addison's bestfriend's phone number, Savvy, isn't it? She came here with her husband right before Thanksgiving."

Mark's furrowed his brows, "Savvy is in her circle of very close friends, yes, but she's not Addison's bestfriend, Laurie is."

"Well then, I need Laurie's number. It wouldn't hurt to have Savvy's number as well."

"Dr. Bailey," Mark crossed his arms, "What's going on?"

Miranda gave her best innocent face, "Nothing. I just think that Addison could use some girls time with her friends from New York. It'd be a nice surprise, don't you think?"

He had a nagging feeling that something fishy was going on, but Miranda Bailey had a very valid reason. He pulled out his cell phone and gave her Laurie's and Savvy's numbers.

I hope you don't feel just like me
I hope you're happy

"Where is she?" Derek demanded as soon as he spotted the Nazi.

She ignored him.

"Where is she?" this time he got in front of Miranda.

"I don't want to see you today," she replied flatly and stepped aside to get away.

"I need to see her."

"For what?"

"She's my wife."

"It's not like you treated her like one before."

"She's still my wife. I need to see her."

"Look," Miranda turned around, "If you're worried if she's okay or not, the answer is no. No, she's not okay. She hasn't been okay for a long time, but hey, you never seemed to notice before, let alone care. She just lost her baby…"

"Our baby."

"It took you a miscarriage to get you to care," she shook her head. "You don't get to see her. I can assure you that Addison is well taken care of, and she doesn't want to see you."

Derek was fumed, "I'll find her."

"If you care, you'll leave her alone."

Isn't it strange
That the world seems to turn away when I try to explain
What's so strange
That two can be as one and yet not same

Derek remained hidden behind a supply shelve until Richard and Nurse Anne, Addison's nurse he knew, were well out of sight before he quietly stepped into the room. Addison sat halfway up on the bed, staring idly to the muted television, her face was pale.

"Get out," she didn't even need to look at him to know he was by the door.

"No."

"Please, Derek, I don't have the energy to do this."

"When did you find out?" He stepped closer towards her bed.

"The day before prom," she refused to look at him, "Right before you asked me to talk to the girl's parents."

He felt his stomach dropped, "How could you not tell me all this time?"

Her mouth was slightly agape as she finally met his gaze, "Maybe if you weren't too busy fucking your intern, I would've told you that night."

"I deserved to know no matter what, it was my child, too."

"The child who you were going to treat as your obligation," she retorted, "Just like I was to you."

"You wouldn't know that, you didn't give me a chan…"

"You would've stayed because you wanted to be the good guy who takes care of his family, but you wouldn't have been happy. You'd wonder for the rest of your life what if you didn't have the child, and what if you were with her and had a child with her instead. I've lived with you wishing you were with someone else for months, and I can't have my child go through the same thing."

"You know me better than that, Addison!"

"I know the Derek Shepherd I married better than that," she spat, "But you, you I don't know."

"Stopped, Addie…." Derek brought a hand to his face, he couldn't take the pained expression on her face anymore. "How far along…"

"Eleven," she whispered before another tear was shed.

He reached out to hold her hand, and she pulled away. "Addie…"

"Derek, please get out," she wiped her eyes.

"No," he sat on the bed and she moved away, clutching the hospital blanket to her, "You just lost our child, I don't want you to be alone."

"Since when has my state of loneliness been a concern to you?" she scoffed. "You don't need to be the good guy anymore. I'm not much of a wife to you for the last year anyway. And in a few weeks I won't be your wife at all, so why bother?" she shrugged.

Derek was speechless, Addison, being Addison, tried her best to keep her heartaches to herself, but he saw how broken she was.

"I want to be alone," she pleaded.

He waited to see if she'd look at him, and she didn't. He got up. When she still avoided his gaze, he opened the door and left her alone. Addison brought her knees to her chest and let her tears fall freely when the door closed.

And it feels like I'm drowning
Feels like I'm drowning without you
I know the feeling
'Cause I felt this all before

Richard Webber looked his left and right before entering the room.

"I have to make a chart, Addison," he looked t her sadly.

"Richard…."

"You need it in your medical record," he sat on the bed when she faced the other way. "I'll keep it here instead so no one but Kempford and your nurses can see it."

She didn't say anything.

"I talked to Derek," he decided to continue when she showed no sign of responding. "He asked for all of his surgeries to be taken off. He's visibly upset."

"He has his intern to cheer him up," she replied coldly.

"I know he hasn't done the most honorable thing lately, and I don't blame you if he's the last person you want to see…"

"What are you saying?" Addison returned her gaze to her mentor.

"He lost the child, too, Addie," he said carefully. "And he's hurting. He found out he's going to be a father the same time he found out he wasn't going to be one anymore."

"What do you want me to do?" Bitterness filled her voice, "Be his shoulder to cry on, when all this time he turned his away when I needed it?"

"I'm not asking you to do that," he shook his head. "I'm just asking you to consider giving him another chance to talk to you. I know it's too much to ask after what he'd done, but no one, no one could understand his pain of losing this child than you could."

Richard gently slipped a tissue into her hands, "He didn't get to know this baby like you did, but it doesn't mean he doesn't care."

"I'm not promising anything…."

"I understand." He put a hand on her shoulder, "You don't have to do it if you don't want…."

Richard's and Addison's heads snapped towards the door to see a very bewildered Mark Sloan standing there.

"Dr. Sloan, I'm asking you to leave," Richard ordered.

"Addison, are you okay?" he approached the other side of the bed, his face worried.

"Dr. Sloan!" Richard repeated.

Addison let out an audible sigh, "He can stay."

Richard gave her a skeptical look, but she nodded in assurance.

"I'll be back to check on you later," he glared at Mark before leaving the room.

"You can leave when you're done," Addison handed him her chart. "All I'm asking is you don't tell anyone, and you don't find and—or—talk to Derek. He knew and you will leave him to deal with it alone."

"I'm sorry," he glanced up and put the chart where it was on the table next to the bed. "I'll do everything you ask me for but one thing," he waited until she looked at him in the eyes, "I'm not leaving."

"Mark, please…"

"You might not consider me your friend anymore, but I still consider you mine," he grabbed a chair closer to the bed.

Addison only stared at the TV.

"You don't have to talk if you don't want to, but I'm staying here to keep you company until I get paged. You shouldn't be alone."

And it feels like I'm dying
Feels like I'm dying now I know the truth

6 hours. It has been 6 hours. 6 hours since everything….

It was well after three in the afternoon and Derek Shepherd decided he had to go home. He couldn't bear be in the hospital any longer. He breathed in the cool air as soon as he exited the building.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the jackass of the year."

Derek halted his steps and bit his bottom lip. He didn't need to look up to know to whom the voice belonged to.

"Laurie." He gasped, "Savvy…" He was caught off guard to see her there as well.

"Derek," Savvy greeted coolly.

He would normally hug the two women, but judging from their looks—even from Savvy who is usually the friendliest of all—he knew they won't be too thrilled to be hugged by him.

"You knew," he said, somberly.

"Miranda Bailey called," Laurie replied then turned to Savvy, "Why don't you go ahead, Sav."

Savvy glanced at Derek before she went to find Addison's room, and Derek knew he was on the line for some ass kicking from Laurie Nolan, Addison's bestfriend for as long as he can remember.

"You're going to yell at me," he simply stated.

"Just like I yelled at Addie when I found out about her and Mark, and when she stayed with him."

Derek flinched.

"Addie told me you didn't take that too well." She sat down on the bench. He followed.

"My wife cheated on me and stayed with the man she had her affair with. Tell me how am I supposed to take that well."

"And aren't you the holiest man of all, Derek," she snapped back. "Perhaps you should take a lesson from Addie on how to take things well, because I don't remember her running back to New York when she found her husband moping over another woman and told her he fell in love with said woman—on Christmas, nonetheless. I don't remember her leaving you when Mark asked her to come home and promised her what you haven't given her in so long. If that's not taking things well, I don't know what is."

They remained silent for a few minutes.

"How could you!" she turned sideways to look at him.

"I don't know," he looked up to see the cloud, "I don't know how I became this person."

"If you don't have the slightest feelings left for her anymore, the least you can do was to take that easy way out she offered you. She would've been devastated then, but it would still be far less than this."

"I never realized how much I've hurt her until today. When I walked into the room and saw her face so…" his voice shook and he couldn't continue. "When I saw it on the screen I knew it was mine, and then it's sunk in that it didn't live."

"I don't know what to say to you, Derek. You used to be so in love with Addie that you can never get enough of her. You made her the happiest woman on earth and now you broke her."

"I hate myself for that."

"Have you talked to her?"

"Briefly, she asked me to leave. Laurie," he held his head in his two hands, "Addie…I've never seen her so…."

"Broken…."

"You haven't even seen her," he said softly.

"I don't have to see her right now to know," she shrugged. "Addie didn't get to this point in one morning. You've gotten too distracted to see her."

I hope you don't feel just like me
I hope you don't feel just like me
I hope you don't feel just like me
I hope you're happy
Don't feel just like me

As he stood by the door of the trailer, studying everything in it, it seemed bigger than he remembered. It looked bare without Addison's belongings. When he first bought it, it was his bachelor's pad, messy and out of order and he didn't care. Then she came. It didn't get any less messy with her shoes on the floor and panty hose dangling in the bathroom, but she put her touches and she made it their home.

Derek hadn't touched everything that used to be her space ever since she had left. Finally, he opened what used to be her closet and peered inside. Her red dress from prom was the lone piece hung inside. She had looked beautiful in it, but he never told her that. On one of the shelves there were a couple of his old shirts that she had monopolized from him years ago. Derek remembered coming home to a sleeping Addie in one of the shirts whenever he was on-call or out of town.

He opened the drawers of her nighstand and found a box in the bottom one. It was filled with pictures from the time they were dating until a couple years ago. He held up one of the pictures and saw dried tearstains on the edge. It was a picture from their wedding day. He took out the pictures one by one and laid them out on the bed. It was then that he saw them. Her rings, the ring he slipped on her finger after she promised she would marry him and the ring he slipped on after they said their vows, sat in the corner of the box. He held them in his palm, and for the first time since he found out about the lost of their child this morning, Derek cried.

I hope you don't feel just like me
I hope you don't feel just like me
I hope you're happy

Meredith stepped inside the trailer carefully, "Derek?"

There was no reply and Meredith stepped further inside and found him sitting cross-legged in the middle of the bed, his eyes firmly planted on the rows of pictures in front of him.

"Derek?" she called out again.

This time he looked up. "Hey," he responded weakly.

She gasped at his appearance, his sad face and his red eyes. "I brought you dinner," she moved closer to the bed and noticed the shiny rings he was toying with his fingers.

"I'm not hungry," he returned his gaze at the pictures.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"I was going to be a father, and I didn't even know."

Meredith sat on the edge of the bed, "She should've told you."

"If I hadn't been a bad, insensitive, self-centered husband, I would've known." He glanced at her, "She was going to tell me the night of the prom. She found out the day before."

"Oh…" she didn't know what else to say.

"I was too wrapped up in my own feelings to think about hers." He rubbed his forehead, "This isn't me."

"What do you mean?"

"Look at the pictures," he sighed, "Look at them."

She inched closer to look at the happy faces of Addison and Derek during various occasions.

"It's in the past, Derek, before she cheated on you with Mark."

He shook his head, "I was absent before Mark. I stopped seeing her and," he sighed, "It's partly my fault."

"You tried to save your marria…"

He let out a dry laugh, "I told myself I did, but I was going after you to run away from everything else."

Meredith frowned at his admission.

He cast a glance around the trailer, "I'm selling this."

"You love this trailer…"

"I loved this trailer because Addison hated it."

"What are you saying?" she stared at the pictures.

"I'm sorry, Meredith," he put a hand on hers, "But I can't go on like this, knowing what I've done, what I've become."

"We have something, Derek. We're happy," she turned to him. "For months we tried to end us and we couldn't, and now that we're together…. How could you?"

"You see the man with Addison there, Mer?" he pointed to himself in the pictures. "The man kissing her, holding her, and laughing with her in those pictures. I stopped being him a long time ago and I don't know how or why. That man would never hurt his wife like I did."

"People change all the time," she said as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"But I don't like this person I've changed into. I may be McDreamy to you, but to my wife, my family, and my friends, I am not. I'm a failure and I can't live with that."

"You're going back to her…."

"No," he stared at the rings he was still holding in his hand. "No, I'm the last person she wants to have around. She wants to be alone to heal, and I'm going to give her that."

Meredith got up and made her way out.

"Meredith?"

She turned around.

"I'm sorry."

She opened the door and left without a word.

I hope you don't feel just like me
I hope you don't feel just like me
Don't feel just like me
Fuck, I hope you feel much worse than me
Maybe not so happy

Savvy opened the door and let out a sigh at the figure sitting on the steps.

"You texted me," she sat next to him.

"How is she, Sav?" he leaned to the wall.

"Tired…sad…." She patted his knee lightly, "How are you?"

"Tired…sad…." He closed his eyes, "I really want to see her. I need to talk to her."

"Der…"

"I know, I know," he opened his eyes. "She doesn't want to see me."

"Give her time," her face showed concerned for him.

"I've been a bastard, haven't I, Sav?"

She gave him a yeah-you-have look and they chuckled.

"Laurie really did something to you, didn't she?" Savvy teased, "Derek Shepherd finally realized he's an ass…."

"She wouldn't be Laurie, if she doesn't give a piece of her mind."

They shared another laugh.

"I want to see her to apologize, Sav," he said softly. "I've said things I shouldn't say and I've done things I shouldn't do. I need her to know I'm sorry."

"I know you do," she smiled sympathetically, "But she's not ready to see you just yet."

"Isn't it strange Sav? That I didn't have much care in the world when we lived in the trailer, and now I remembered everything. How we were cramped in that tiny bathroom brushing our teeth together, how she would be sprawled on the bed when I got home, reading Vogue or some medical journal. Then she'd ask me how my day was, and I'd mutter some short answers that she wished were longer."

He looked at Savvy intently, "I really need to see her…."

She contemplated her words for a moment before answering. "I'll let you see her when she's asleep. I'll come find you before Laurie and I go back to our hotel, okay?"

"Thank you," Derek nodded, "I'll wait here."

"It's going to be a while…."

"No, it's okay," he assured her. "I'll sit here and wait."

Not so happy, yeah, not so happy, yeah
Not so happy, welcome to my world
Not so happy, yeah, not so happy, yeah
Not so happy, welcome to my world

Approximately three hours later, Derek quietly slipped into Addison's room after Savvy fetched him from the stairs. The room was dark, with only the monitor and the machine illuminating light, but he could make out her sleeping figure. Her face turned to the side, resting in the palm of her right hand, her left hand rested on her stomach. Derek reached out a tentative hand to brush her hair away from her face, she looked so peaceful, he thought.

He took a seat on the chair placed on her left side of the bed. "Addie," he whispered very low, not wanting to wake her, "You're asleep, but I have to say this because I don't know when or if I'll get to say this when you're awake."

"I'm sorry, Addie," his head hung low, "For ignoring you in New York, here, all this time. I'm sorry I've treated you badly, I'm sorry…." He tried to stifle the sobs, "You're right earlier today, I'm not the Derek you married…. I've hurt you more than I thought I could."

He wiped his tears. "I broke up with her today. It's…I can't keep running away to escape the mess I've made. I know you don't want to have anything to do with me anymore, not that I deserve to be with you anymore, but I'll…."

Derek drew in a sharp breath when he looked up and caught her staring at him, tears on her face.

"Do…do you want me to leave?" he asked, a part of him told him he should leave, but another told him to stay.

"No," her voice faint, "You didn't finish."

He can't help but let out sigh of relief, "I'm sorry I woke you up, and I'm sorry I was a bad husband with a humongous ego. I thought back about everything today, and I realized what a bastard extraordinaire I am." He smiled a little when he saw her bit her bottom lip to hide her smile, "I'm done hurting you."

"It took losing our child to see everything—you—again, and I'm sorry, but I'm grateful it didn't take losing you," he felt another set of tears fell. "I'll be here if you need me, but I'll stay out of your life if that's what you want. I want you to be happy, even if it's without me. I want you to be okay…."

"I will," she whispered.

He nodded slightly.

"Are you okay?"

"I will…." He was surprised that she asked.

"I was going to tell you," she watched his tears fell as her own did the same. "You seemed so happy with her, and I…I didn't know how to…."

"I'm sorry," he reached for hand and she didn't pull away.

They cried silently until Derek mustered the courage to ask. "Were you sick a lot?"

She nodded, "But it got better, he was a good baby."

"He?"

"Just a feeling that it would be a 'he'…."

He smiled, she did, too—a little, but both of their eyes remained sad.

"Addie, can I…" he shifted his gaze to her hand in his. "Is it okay if I stay here with you tonight?"

She thought about it for a moment, taking in his appearance. He looked just as emotionally drained as she was.

"Okay," she agreed.

"Thank you," he whispered. "I'll let you go back to sleep."

Addison took her hand out of his and turned the other side. Derek got up to pull her blanket up.

"Good night, Addie."

"Good night, Derek."

Derek made himself somewhat comfortable in the small chair. He wasn't sure what would become of them, if they'd remain good friends or just colleagues, or if they'd become a couple again after time allowed them to heal. It didn't matter that it didn't salvage their marriage, but it mattered to him that this had let him to make peace with the past and Addison. It had been a long painful day, but as he watched Addison slept, he knew that the day had ended in a right note. He soon fell asleep and remained by her bedside until Laurie and Savvy came the next morning.

XXXXXX

So, I repeat, this is a one shot. I'm not going to continue it, because it's so depressing, bah. Please read and review because I would love to hear what you think of it, you like or no like.