Scribbles in a Journal
I generally start off with one-shots, but if I see people responding positively to it, I like to extend them into chapters. This Once hiatus is driving me crazy, and I need me my Captain Swan. So, I was just rewatching the past three seasons, and all that tension just forced me to write something out. Nothing major, but it could develop. I figured Hook would be keeping a journal. Now, happy reading, loves! Please review! It helps! Seriously, just spit out ideas for me!
It had to be the way she looked at him. Because the way she looked at him made him feel like he was the world's greatest man. She looked at him like she knew everything about him, and what was in his heart and mind. And yet, she knew so very little of him. It wasn't that he kept parts of himself a secret from her. He just didn't think he deserved her.
He didn't, really. She was the most beautiful and perfect woman he'd ever laid eyes on; of course he didn't deserve her. He knew it, everyone knew it.
She was the one who asked him to live with her when she finally got her own place with Henry. And she seemed as surprised by her question as he was. It didn't seem like she gave it much thought. And it was all right, because he didn't, either. He didn't even stop to consider it for one moment whether he should say yes or not. He wanted nothing more than to be closer to her every day than he already was, and sleeping beside her, waking up every day with her at his side made for very happy thoughts.
She looked at him like he was the world's greatest hero, when, in fact, he was probably the farthest thing from it. How could he deserve such an amazing woman when he was just a pirate, a murderer, a cheater, and a liar?
And yet...
"Hey there, pirate."
He looked up from writing in his journal and saw her giving him a questioning look as she leaned against the doorframe. "Hello, love." And when she looked over at the notebook and pen in his hands, he slowly set them aside as to not draw any more attention to them.
"What's that you're writing?" she inquired, nodding towards the notebook.
"Oh, just...it's nothing," he answered. It didn't seem to satisfy her, as she walked over to the bed and sat down beside him, allowing her hand to gently caress his arm.
"It's not nothing if you sound like you're trying to convince yourself it's nothing." Her green eyes peered up at his blue. She knew him too well, even though it seemed like she knew nothing about him at times. But she knew him. "Do you write about me?"
At that, he flushed a bit, his cheeks tinging with a slight pink. If only she knew what his thoughts were. She was well aware of the fact that he only wrote when he had something on his mind. Usually, he talked to her about his thoughts. He liked to be honest with her; it was what made a better relationship. But this time, he felt silly about his doubts and thoughts.
When he only nodded, she squeezed his arm slightly. "What's on your mind, Killian?"
She knew just how to ask him, because when she used that gentle, caring tone, she knew he couldn't not give her as she asked. So, he looked at her for a moment. "I do write about you. A lot about you, actually." He paused for a moment. "I just feel like I don't deserve you. I wonder how you can love a man like me. How you can be with someone like me. I'm...a pirate. I've done bad things for the past centuries. You should have someone better."
"Killian..."
He didn't let her continue. When she said his name like that, he knew she was about to say he was being ridiculous and find a way to assure him. But this time was different. "It's true, Swan. I've killed people, I've burned villages, I've cheated and lied my way out of so many things, and I've taken dozens of men's wives. How could you possibly want someone like me?"
"Because I don't want someone like you. I want you. Simple as that. I chose to be with you, whether you think I gave in to you just to keep you from fighting any longer. I chose you, and I chose the life we have. Nothing and nobody forces me to do things I don't want to do, and you know that. I love you, and there's nothing either of us could do about it."
She quieted him for a moment, but like always, he found something to protest with again. "But I am not-"
"A good man? Killian, you are a very good man, who just made the wrong choices in life." She brought her hand to his cheek, running her thumb over the roughness. "You were a lost little boy who just wanted to feel loved, and wanted by someone. You were looking for something to fill that hole in your heart. And that is why you did those things. I would know - it's why I did things like those, too. I was...a lost little girl who wanted to be wanted, but when I never was, I resorted to bad things. You and I are no different from each other, Killian. I've killed, cheated, lied, done a ton of bad things I'm not proud of. But you know what, we chose to be good. We ultimately chose to become heroes, and ended up finding each other. We're in this together, no matter what."
He searched her eyes for a brief moment. "And that is what you think of me? A good man?"
"A very good man. It's who you are. I wouldn't have fallen in love with an evil man. I love you, and if you feel undeserving, then I will feel undeserving, too. We both get to feel that together, because some days, I don't feel like I deserve you."
He snorted. "That's absolutely ridiculous. You're the most amazing woman I've ever met."
"And you, love, are the most amazing man I've ever met," she told him with a smile, using his endearing nickname for her. She leaned and kissed him softly. "Besides, it's not every day that a girl can say she's won a pirate's heart." She winked and giggled the most melodious giggle he'd ever heard. It made him smile.
"And that is quite a feat in its own, of course," he completed, then kissing the tip of her nose. "Thank you."
"What for?"
"For keeping me at bay. I don't know where I'd be if not for your words."
"I only say what I think you'd say to me in times like these. You know I'm not very good when it comes to talking about emotional stuff. I'm bad at it."
"Oh, now I don't believe that. I think that once you let me in...things began to change. You suddenly find the perfect words to use."
"Like...I love you?" Her eyes glimmered a she asked that, as if teasing him lightly.
He grinned. "Definitely like 'I love you'." He pulled her closer and then kissed her nice and soundly, never wishing to let go.
How could it be, that this incredible woman fell in love with a one-handed pirate. Killian Jones was actually loved by Emma Swan, and the best part was that she was no longer hesitant to repeat those words to him. She used to be scared of it, loving someone again, but he made sure she knew she was loved by him. It gave her the courage to take a leap of faith.
And really, there was nothing more he wanted than to spend the rest of his life with her. He'd found the woman he wanted, and he was never going to let her go. It was more than just emotional; it was almost...magical. Their bond was a powerful one, and he felt it every time they were together. It wasn't even her beauty or his handsome good looks that made them perfect together. It was the fact that they trusted each other with their lives. They were fiercely loyal and dedicated, and there was never a moment that went by when Killian didn't think about Emma.
They were never a very publicly affectionate couple, but when it came down to it, the town knew they were in love. He held her hand as much as he could, and she often liked to snuggle into his side when they were outdoors. It was almost gag-worthy.
...and yet, the most important person in the history of all realms fell for Captain Hook, a pirate who crossed worlds and seas to find the thing he desired most - someone to fill that hole in his heart. I look at her, and I cant even begin to imagine what I'd done to deserve her, but then I realize that fate must have thought that two good-looking people should probably have a chance to be together and flaunt their good looks, at least a little.
Disclaimer: I do not own any Once characters or the show itself. I wish I did, but I don't.