Two knocks. Pause. And then a third. Although I already knew who would be at the door I waited for the fourth and finally knock to complete our prearranged code before I let each of my muscles un tense. I slunk over to the door to open it taking a brief look through the peep hole to ensure that the person on the other side was who I was expecting. Although I had learnt to live with the fear that came packaged with my girlfriend, my heart never got the memo and without fail it thudded at twice its normal speed at each risky opportunity. This package of fear was here to stay and had a fuck off sized bow attached just to draw attention. I shuddered at the thought of one day a cop being the other side as I pulled the door open, grateful for the ally that greeted me.
"Hey Mr. Fitz" my caller muttered almost refusing to meet my gaze.
"Seriously Hanna, call me Ezra you're in my apartment is there any need for formality here?"
"No I guess not." She said, smiling apologetically at me briefly before turning her gaze to the rest of my cosy apartment. "Urmm...nice place Mr. Fff" She caught her mistake and quickly corrected herself "I mean Ezra, sorry." Shooting another apologetic smile in my general direction she dumped a duffel bag that I recognised beside the door before her smile turned awkward.
She was only a young girl approaching 17, slowly. Her age made her being here so wrong. Throughout my time at Rosewood I've been forced to look at age in such a different way that the lines between acceptable and not have been smudged so that I know that there could be a time that I'll have to re draw them.
At least these metaphorical lines are still there although barely visible I know they're there. I take comfort from the fact that if I am going to cross these lines I'm doing it in the best way possibly with the most amazing girl I've ever laid eyes on my soul mate. Deep down I know this doesn't give me a get out of jail free card as much as I pretend it does I know if anybody finds out they won't stop and listen to this in favour of dialling 911. I quickly pushed this thought out of my mind, it hurt to think of me shunning my love out of my life for good just because her parents decided to have a child a few years after mine.
"Thanks, take a seat, do you want a drink or anything?" before she could no doubt decline my offer her best friend bounded out of my bathroom, dressed only in an old robe.
"Oh! Han scared me much, did you bring my stuff?" Hanna took in her friend's attire before she gestured at the bag that she left at the door.
"Life saver, Mom and Dad would never believe that I was all the way in Maine if I just walked in to pick up my favourite sweater. What did you tell them?"
"That I left my English book in your room, seemed fitting somehow," for the first time since Hanna stepped foot in my apartment she looked relaxed, comforted by her friend's presence. Aria had that effect on people I found, any time I started to freak out about our secret relationship she would soothe me with a few chosen words and all would be right again. I hadn't decided whether this was a blessing or the worst form of mind trickery known to man. "Anyway I've got to run; Caleb's waiting for me at Lucas'. Bye Aria, see you Monday... errr Ezra" she said taking one look back at the apartment to wave goodbye and shut the door.
Now I let myself breathe deeply as I looked over at Aria drying her hair. I felt secure, calm when it was just us and as much as I trusted Hanna and the other girls, I was still very aware that their loyalty to Aria may not last. This made me uneasy and Aria knew it. I know what's happening here is wrong, every time I wake up with a minor in my bed my first urge is to run this desire quickly chased down with the over whelming realization that I'm too far gone for this ever to be urge that could be acted upon.
Pushing these thought from my mind I walked over to the beautiful girl standing in my living room, thinking how a robe and one movement of my hand stood between me and her beautiful body. Bending my head to kiss her soft neck I gently pushed aside the fabric that separated my lips from the rest of her coconut flavoured skin. She turned and I saw a flash of lust in her chocolate brown eyes before mine glanced at her lips as they murmured my name. Having her here like this with me was indescribable. Which as perfect as it was I found it deeply frustrating. Every time that I was in this position thoughts of sonnets and odes I could write for this beauty rushed into my brain. Entire lines about pure passion and coconuts danced and flickered before my eyes, each time I went to grab them they faded into nothingness. Reality returned with a blow and my lips crashed down on hers unable to control them any longer. This. Here. Was meant for the moment and as much as I wanted to capture it so it may live in black and white for eternity I knew that I could not do it in the colour full now. Too much was happening and I knew it wouldn't be long before I succumbed to her entirely.
This is my first go at any writing. Critiques are welcome, feedback just so I know how I'm doing. Shall I continue? Thanks for reading Cathy Ellis-Bell.