Disclaimer: Not mine and not making any money. I'm just playing. I apologise wholeheartedly to both Janet Evanovich and Dr Seuss.

Originally posted as a joke on another board. It led to something else, so there is a point to this, I promise.

NOT QUITE GREEN EGGS AND HAM

Man-I-am,

hot Cuban man.

That Cuban man!

That Cuban man!

He is so hot

that Cuban man!

You want to do

this Cuban man?

But I have a cheating ban.

I must not do you

Cuban man.

Would you touch me

here or there?

I must not touch you

here or there.

I must not touch you

anywhere.

I still have a cheating ban.

I must not do you

Cuban man.

Would you have me in a house?

Can I peep inside your blouse?

I cannot have you in a house.

You may not look inside my blouse.

I must not touch you

here or there.

I must not touch you

Anywhere.

I still have a cheating ban.

I must not do you

Cuban man.

Would you kiss me in a box?

Would you kiss me in a fox?(Eeew, fur)

Not in a box.

Not in a fox.

Not in a house.

Hands off my blouse.

I must not touch you here or there.

I must not touch you anywhere.

I still have a cheating ban.

I must not do you Cuban man.

Would you? Could you?

In my car?

Touch me! Kiss me!

Go that far.

I should not,

could not,

in your car.

You would like it.

You will see.

We could touch behind a tree!

I should not, could not by a tree.

Not in your car! Stop tempting me.

I should not kiss you in a box.

I should not kiss you in a fox.

I cannot have you in a house.

You may not look inside my blouse.

I must not touch you here or there.

I must not touch you anywhere.

I still have a cheating ban.

I must not do you, Cuban man.

A train! A train!

A train! A train!

Would you let me,

on a train?

Not on a train! Not by a tree!

Not in your car! Stop tempting me!

I should not kiss you in a box.

I should not kiss you in a fox.

I cannot have you in a house.

You may not get inside my blouse.

I must not touch you here or there.

I must not touch you anywhere.

I still have a cheating ban.

I must not do you, Cuban man.

Say!

In the dark?

Here in the dark!

Who knows what goes on in the dark?

I should not, could not,

in the dark.

Would you hold me in the rain?

I should not hold you in the rain.

Not in the dark. Not on a train.

Not in your car. Not by a tree.

I should be faithful, don't you see?

Not in a house. Not in a box.

Hands off my blouse. Not in a fox.

I should not touch you here or there.

I should not touch you anywhere!

You do not want

this Cuban man?

You shouldn't tempt me,

Man-I-am.

Would you snuggle in my coat?

I must not snuggle in your coat.

Would you love me on a boat?

I should not love you on a boat.

I must not snuggle in your coat.

I should not hold you in the rain.

I should not let you on a train.

Not in the dark! Not by a tree!

Not in your car! Stop tempting me!

I should not kiss you in a box.

I should not kiss you in a fox.

I cannot have you in a house.

You may not get inside my blouse.

I should not touch you here or there.

I should not touch you ANYWHERE!

I still have a cheating ban!

I must not do you, Cuban man.

You must not love me.

So you say.

Try me! Try it!

And you may.

Try me and you may, I say.

Man!

If you are so hot for me,

I will try it.

Let us see.

Damn!

I like it, Cuban man!

I do, I want you, Man-I-am!

And I will love you on a boat.

And I will snuggle in your coat.

And I will hold you in the rain.

And in the dark. And on a train.

And in your car. And by a tree.

It feels so good, so good you see!

So I will kiss you in a box.

And I will kiss you in a fox.

And I will have you in a house.

And you can feel beneath my blouse.

And I will touch you here or there.

I will touch you EVERYWHERE!

I'm moving on, there is no ban!

You're mine all mine, hot Cuban man.