The console room was eerily quiet, if anything it put Ella on edge as she came to the top of the steps, her black dress sweeping at her ankles, her red heels clicking against the glassed flooring. "Dad?" She called out, noting there was no sign of him as she made her way down the steps. It was two days before Christmas and her father had been unusually quiet these past few days that she had been around him. Ella had always put her father down to be the one who enjoyed the holidays, he was a big kid when it came to such but today, well it was a living hell with him being so… down.
The console gave out a low hum as Ella brushed her fingers against it before noting her father standing in the door way, his purple frock billowing lightly in the wind from outside. The new outfit was nice, Ella couldn't really complain but it just wasn't… well it just wasn't her father any more. She paced over to him, finding him now slumped on the floor and resting against the blue box. The Doctor had heard his daughter coming to the door but not once had he looked up or spoke. He simply sat there, deep in his own self pity. He'd stopped caring for the world around him, stopped caring for the TARDIS as well and he knew there was simply no point in doing so because the blue box had giving up on him.
Ella peered out of the box and glanced down, finding her father. She slumped to the floor as well and sat beside him, legs out stretched as she had found she couldn't cross them in this dress. "Dad are you ok?" Her sea blue eyes gazed over to him, seeing him staring at the ground beneath him, as if he was waiting for it to swallow him whole. "Just leave me alone, everyone else does." He dare not make eye contact with his daughter in fear she'd see the pain he was suffering from. Ella sighed softly, it was hard to see him like this and not understand why. Ella, being taken back by his words, gave a light chuckle and replied, "Leave? Not a chance."
Ella assumed that he was in one of those moods; the grumpy ones were it'll last a few days then return to normal. The Doctor's gaze snapped onto Ella in an instant, why did she find this amusing? "I said go!" He'd decided a long time ago that by caring it meant people got hurt. Ella furrowed her brow, meeting her father's gaze. The way he spoke to her was stern, angered but she had told him she was never leaving so that was what she had intended to do… never leave. "You can't send me away dad!" There was an argument brewing and Ella could sense it, what was even harder was the simple fact that she was alone in this because River was god knows where.
The Doctor jumped to his feet, his voice now cold as he turned to her, "I can and I will now go!" Ella scrambled to her feet, her hemming of her dress catching in her heel in which she unhooked and hitched up a little. "Give me a reason why?!" They were now face to face, both burning on different emotions. The Doctor snarled at her, "Because I am your father now do it before I say something I'll regret!" Not that he really could do much more damage than he already had. He shoved past his daughter to get into the TARDIS, kicking it open before storming to the console, growling under his breath.
Ella was taken back by her father's actions. Tears stung her eyes as they fought to fall but she wasn't going to let it get to her. "Ah excuse me!" She went on after him, the door nearly hitting her in the face as she took a step into the TARDIS. "How dare you take this out on me?!" The Doctor couldn't help but scoff, turning to face his daughter. "I am not taking it out on you. Now shut up and go away!" He gritted his teeth before tugging his hat a little lower over his face, "Mind you, maybe I should change my mind? Send you to stay with you mother at the university and be bored to death with archaeology." He huffed before disappearing down the hallway. Ella shook her head, an empty threat no doubt but it didn't stop her from arguing back. "Well it'll be more entertaining that my father being a grumpy git!" She shouted after him, her fingers curling into fists, knuckles glowing white.
Right now it'd be nice to slap some sense into him, make him realise how stupid he was being. Her eyes drifted to the console, an idea that she should never carry out. Ella flew over to the console, smirking like a crazed psych patient as she began to pull levers and hit buttons. The TARDIS shook violently, if anything it would have caused it to crash if they were in flight. It seemed though that the Doctor didn't give the slightest bit of care to what she was doing as he felt the box quake. If it crashed or blew up then it meant one less problem in his life to deal with, heck the damn box packed in the heating earlier, giving him the cold shoulder in a most literal way. He stepped into the door way, "What are you doing, trying to kill yourself?" He leaned against the door frame, staring at his daughter as she peered at him from behind the console. "Blimey the lengths people go to in order to make me even more alone." He added with a mumble.
Ella furrowed her brow and crossed her arms against her chest, "If I were to kill myself, I'd have done it a long time ago. Plus I wasn't trying to leave; I was simply getting you attention." She huffed, noting a tear in her dress. "Normally I'd get a good telling off for harming the TARDIS…" She glanced at the centre console and murmured an apology to her, she didn't like to harm it, "Now tell me what the hell is wrong!" The Doctor scowled at her, why was it that when he tried so hard to get rid of people, it was a chore. "Why should you even care? No one else does. Just face it; I am done with this, done with everything." He turned strolled into the room, coming round to where his daughter was and tried to be intimidating. Ella smirked at him, "Oh really? Then why am I still here because if I didn't care then I would have gone by now." She kicked her heels off, reducing her height so she was a little shorter than her father.
"Dad I'm not going to lie to you, you're a pain in my rear but I am worried. I'm worried I'll wake up and find you gone." God his words had cut her deeply, torn at her very hearts and dared to break them, if River was here then she'd know what to do, know how to calm her father. The Doctor turned away from Ella, never looking at her as he did. "I'm not leaving you but I'm not going to start caring because I am done with it. Done travelling and done saving worlds because all it does is brings pain and death. The last trip I am making is the one where I leave you at the university with your mother and that's it." Ella could barely believe what she was hearing; it was as if someone had dropped her in an alternate dimension where everything was not what she knew. "So you are leaving?!" Ella circled round to his front, standing before him so he was forced to see her. "No, I am not going! You'd have to take me there while I am kicking and screaming. I don't care if you don't want to keep saving people, I'm not even asking you to tear apart time all I want is you to be happy for once!" She was swallowing tears every second as she watched her father fall into an ever more dangerous sea of guilt ridden and angry emotions.
The Doctor leaned close to his daughter, glaring. "It's too late for that. What I want is never available to me nor will it ever be. Being happy brings pain so just for once do me a favour and listen to me! When I say you're going to your mother's then you. Will. Go!" He didn't raise his voice but it was filled with so much anger, so much rage and loss. "And there is nothing you can do about it." Ella returned the lean, now toe to toe with her father, brow furrowed and eyes staring directly into his. "Do you know how stupid you are sounding? You sound like me after I lost Spencer and trust me that won't get you anywhere." A flush of hot air was breathed out in anger at her father; her nostril's flared a little. "So don't you dare stand there and tell me that happiness only brings pain because I know!" Her voice began to tremble as she tried to contain herself, lashing out wasn't going to help in the slightest because god knows what he could do to her. "So no, I am not leaving!"
There was no response him except for the barging past her to the console, slamming his hand against the damn thing before scrunching his face up in bitter anger because arguing like this reminded him of Amy. There was no helping him now, not even his own daughter could help because he was too far gone. Ella swayed a little as he barged past her. She couldn't understand why he was turning on her, they'd only just been reunited and now he was pushing her away?
"You know, right now in this situation I would have left just because I knew all too well it would hurt you..." Ella paused as she watched him at the console. "But I'm not going to. Instead I'll stay in order to stop you from pushing me away as well as everyone else who cares about you." Her voice wavered a little; the dam holding back the tears was ready to break and when he looked at her with that blank expression and shrugged, it tore her even more and pulled an upset sigh from her. The Doctor knew that he had nothing else to care about though; it only caused pain and hate after all, look at what happened to the Ponds. He wanted to be alone now and no lose anything else.
Ella placed a hand on his shoulder, "Dad, why won't you tell me what is wrong? I can't stand seeing you like this." When the Doctor shrugged her hand from him and walked away, trudging up the stairs from her, Ella couldn't help but get angry. Her fist slammed into the console as she let out a gasp of hurt. Her curled locks fell in her eyes, her dress wrapped around one of her heels of her foot, she tugged her glasses of and threw them across the room in a fit of spite. The TARDIS gave out a low hum of possible sympathy as Ella rubbed her eyes free of tears, feeling the running mascara dry on her soft cheeks, a contrast between her pale skin and the dark makeup. "You really know how to break me hearts." She murmured as her hand gripped the edge of the console unit.
What the young girl didn't know was that her father had watched her, even if he had little care for the world around him; he still had to watch her, make sure she was ok. It didn't help though, when all those losses he had suffered, all that guilt came crashing down on him and crushing him, rage-filled eyes wet with tears and he couldn't hold them off any longer.
Ella noticed that the strong sense of anger and hate had been lost during her regeneration. It was hard to get angry like she had, all she wanted to do now was run around and fulfil her sworn oath to help others but her father was pushing her away every time she tried. Ella glanced down at her bare feet; the now torn dress was useless to her, so she ripped the hem off leaving it to hang at her knees. The next thing she did was simply stand there and stare up at the stairs, she frowned a little. Was he still there? Still watching her even though she couldn't see him. She decided to shout up, "Fine! I'll leave! If that's what you want. If it is, then just keep in mind that it was your choice, your choice to send away the last person who really cared, not mine, not the others in the galaxy... yours!" She bit her lip, would that work? Would that tell her what was going on in that head of his?
At these words, the Doctor couldn't help but laugh, ramming his hand down on his head and walked out to the stairs. "Yes I know. It's usually my choices that cause problems but there's the door." He turned away, if it had been a long time ago then he would have fought to keep her but he had changed. "Goodbye and Merry Christmas." Not that it was merry for him, losing the Ponds so close to this time of year.
Ella let out a soft snort, a mixture of amusement and sadness all in one. "Just know this, if I leave then you and I both know that we'll never see each other again. You'll only replace me, no doubt with a new wife and kids… maybe a son this time?" She gritted her teeth, "Let's hope they have a better life." Ella's hand reached for the door handle, turning her back on her father.
Yet again the fear of abandonment crippling her once more as she went to walk, after all it was the Doctor that had taught her to fear it. Her bare feet padded a little closer to the door, her hand now round the door handle before she glanced over her shoulder. "I guess this is goodbye…" A tear fell down her cheek as she spoke her last words loud enough for him to hear. "I love you father." Deep down the Doctor didn't want her to go, he felt so awful but he couldn't let her get hurt because of him. As his daughter stepped out into the snow outside, he wanted to say something to her, to stop her. "I'm sorry."
Ella had not heard his apology as she stepped out into the cold weather; her bare feet began to freeze in an instant as her toes nested in the layer of snow beneath her. Her hands pressed against her cheeks, the flow of tears now more apparent as she stood there and wept silently to herself. If she had stood there long enough, maybe he'd come out and say sorry, come out and hug her and tell her he loved her. Nothing. The fear was starting to set in, not even able to glance over her shoulder to see if her home was gone.
A man passed by the young girl, noting her tears and the tattered clothes that hung off her slender body. "Ma'am, is everything ok?" He placed a hand on Ella's shoulder, kind green eyes staring down into her now teary blue ones. She glanced up at him, shaking her head and slipping from his grip where she disappeared down a side alley. If only she had looked closely to who he was, if her mind was clear and she had really taken in her surroundings because Spencer had really stared her in the face with pure worry. Spencer knew that she was not of this time so he never went after her.
Inside the TARDIS, the Doctor stared at the blank screen where his mind was breaking between going after Ella or not going after her. Finally he moved from the console to the door and peered out finding that she was gone. Ella was really gone. A hurt filled sigh escaped him, shaking the snow from his hat as he came back in and sat down on the stairs. There was a tear in his eye, a tear not for the Ponds but for his daughter, the last person that believed in him. He decided that it would be best to move the box in case Ella went to hunt down River, not that she could. The Doctor couldn't face his wife right now.
Ella on the other hand ran along the hard and worn pavement, tearing at her bare feet. Fear had engulfed her, forcing her to take flight from what ever it was that was following her. It wasn't helping that her vision was blurred as tears fell, no clue to where she was going or even what era she was in. All she could do was run and run until she just couldn't do so any more or if someone stopped her. The latter was now more apparent as she tried to make a path back to her father. It seemed though that her path of destiny was doing all it could to stop the girl and face up to the monster behind her. A dip in the pavement forced Ella to twist her ankle and stumble straight into the arms of something icy and solid. As her hand pressed against the mass, eyes trailing up, her heart nearly gave out as she came face to face with, "Angels."
The Doctor, being unaware of his daughter's slight predicament, a long lost instinct had kept him from sending the box away. The TARDIS made sure he wouldn't leave though, giving out a low hum as he flicked buttons and realised that it wasn't going to give any time soon. The Doctor gave low growl in return before kicking the console and storming off outside, maybe a cup of tea would help.
Their paths were to cross once more, the Doctor and his daughter. The girl backed up slowly, eyes watering even more as she knew the fate at hand. If she blinked then it was all over, if she looked away or even let her world going dark then it would be over in a heartbeat. "Please don't do this." An eye closed something she had allowed that was in fact rather painful to some degree. Her foot stepped back, searching for even ground. If she could put space between them then she may have had a fighting chance. A sudden thought crossed her mind though, she shouldn't be afraid because it didn't matter any more. "Wait, you can send me back right to where no one could find me?" Another step back. "Send me away from all of this?" Of course, no response. "Do it." She whispered, after all, she only had to close her eyes.
The Doctor paced along the snow laden street, mumbling and cursing under his breath. He pressed his hand against the frosty door, melting the frost into droplets under his warmth. He slipped in, scanning the tables before heading over to the corner table and hiding away from everyone. He instantly ordered a cup of tea, finding that it cleared his mind even in the worst of times.
Back outside Ella was still taking steps back from the angel in front of her. She didn't want to go, didn't want to run from the life she was giving and oddly enough it gave her the incentive to run. Once she was at a decent distance, Ella turned and ran while glancing back every now and then to make sure they wouldn't gain on her too quickly. A corner was now becoming quite the friend, giving her a chance to skid around it and press herself against the crumbling brick that formed it. All she could d now was breathe, calm down and start moving once more. Once stable, Ella made her way back out onto the main street.
"Safe, nice one Ella," A smug grin spread across her lips but it was stolen from her in a flash as two stone angels stood to her side. Her hearts dropped, her body froze like ice. "No… no this isn't fair!" She pressed against a window, the same shop window as the one the Doctor had his back to, sipping his tea and clueless to the world outside. Ella pressed against the window, hearts racing like thunder as she fought to keep her eyes open. There was now way out, she was pinned. "Dad!" She screamed out, he'd promised he'd be there not matter what, no matter the wish or cry of help. The girl pleaded but nothing came from it.
This was it, Ella was stuck and she was going to die alone. God how she wished she'd just gone back to Stark mansion, even regretting ever meeting her father. Maybe she was better off without him. "Fine…" Ella growled, "Do it." Her arms spread out, the consequences waiting on the sidelines for her to commit the planned action. Her voice trailed off as it was replaced by small sobs. If she could return to this point in time then Ella could prevent all of this surely? For a moment her eyes trailed to her left, seeing the one person she needed right now in the café behind her. "Dad…" It was too late and the light prod in her chest told her so. Feeling the stony, slender finger press against her, Ella instantly turned her head to see what it was that had grasped her. "No, wait please!?"
The Doctor never turned around once, even when customers were glancing out the window, murmuring in shock and surprised at the disappearance of the girl and three angels. The tea cup pressed to his lips in dead silence, the ever reeling pain encasing him.
50 Years before hand
Ella awoke, head spinning as she found herself lying on the ground. It seemed the travel within time had affected her. When her hand brushed against the grassy ground, she shot up. "No…" Her eyes trailed across the area, she was stuck and now lost to her father.