Look what I found hiding in my story files.
Written because I refuse to believe that Jenna couldn't see that there was something going on.
Spoilers: Promo for Know Thy Enemy.
There's a difference between not knowing and choosing not to know what one knows but would rather not face.
- The Zookeeper's Wife: A War Story, by Diane Ackerman
You're neither blind nor deaf, as much as Ric and Elena and Jeremy seem to think so. You know that something's going on, something that all three of them know about but won't tell you.
But you don't ask. You don't want to know what makes Elena's eyes grow so old sometimes, what makes Jeremy nervously twirl that god-awful ring (that looks so much like Ric's, but that fact is just one of many for you to ignore) around and around his finger. You don't want to know, so you ignore the things that you know could lead you to putting the pieces together.
You ignore Elena's lies (the girl still can't decieve you to save her life) about Stefan and Damon and Caroline.
You ignore how conversations between Bonnie, Jeremy, Elena, Caroline die if you walk in sometimes.
You ignore the dishonesty and the holes that are starting to gape in between you and Ric.
You don't want to know.
But you still learn about it anyway, find out from your (ex?)boyfriend's not-so-dead-after-all wife that vampires exist and that she's one of them.
And oh, you're pissed off.
You're so very very calm around Jeremy and Elena that they know something's wrong as soon as they walk into the house, and you blow up at Elena as soon as she screws up the courage to ask what's bothering you.
"Did Isobel say something?" your niece asks.
"You mean, did she say anything about how she's a vampire and how you're dating one?" you snap. "Nope. Not a word." You turn on your heel, leaving Elena standing frozen in the kitchen, and march into your bedroom before sliding down the closed door with your head in your hands.
You hadn't wanted to know.
You successfully dodge Elena and Alaric for over a week by staying on campus. Alex and Fiona can see that something's wrong but they don't bring it up, just leave you in peace to work on your thesis and occasionally drag you to do something fun at night.
You're grateful that they aren't making you think about the secrets that Elena and Ric have kept from you for months, but eventually you have to go home.
"So you know," Damon's voice says behind you. Your grip tightens on the knife before you carefully set it down and turn around to see him leaning on the doorframe. One night at home without being reminded that you're an awful parent for letting your niece and nephew get involved in a world full of monsters and fairytales, is that too much to ask for?
"Yes," you say simply, hoping that the sheer amount of distrust and dislike in your voice is enough to get him to go the hell away.
If anything, it only seems to amuse him, because he smirks as he straightens up and grabs a wineglass from the cupboard next to him. He pours himself a glass of the red wine in the fridge and offers it to you, but you shake your head and turn back to chopping tomatoes. You want a clear head when you're dealing with him.
He watches silently for a while. You almost forget that he's there before he says, "You're making it more difficult than it needs to be."
You not-quite jump. "How so?"
There's a quiet whooshing noise and he's suddenly right behind you, reaching around your waist to hold the knife. Damon's hands are oddly warm, some small part of your brain notices. "You're holding the knife wrong," he murmurs as he adjusts your fingers on the handle. He's far closer than he needs to be, his chest brushing your back and his breath warm in your ear, before he steps back.
"You have no regard for personal space, do you?" you find yourself asking. The question comes out more amused than anything else.
Then you realize that you're going to have to get used to him. Damn it.
Damon smirks at you again. "It's one of the things I invade best," he agrees.
You laugh.
No one is entirely sure how to deal with your quasi-friendship with Damon. You say "quasi" because all it really amounts to is both of you sniping at each other and you asking Damon the occasional question when the curiosity gets to be too much. He doesn't tell you anything if you don't ask about it first, which you are immensely grateful for.
You don't ask what happens when Andie disappears a week and a half after you learn what's out there, and Damon doesn't mention her. You ignore the worry in his eyes that he tries to hide from you and how you can almost always hear Stefan's voice from Elena's room when your niece is home. You ignore how Alaric always seems to be around whenever you leave the house now (you never speak to each other anymore anyways). You have enough practice at ignoring the things you don't want to see to pull it off, too. You refuse to be more involved in this world than you absolutely have to be, even though you put vervain in your coffee every morning now and never take off the bracelet that Elena gave you when you were still clueless Aunt Jenna.
You are holding onto the last shreds of your normal life with your fingertips, and you refuse to let go.
Eventually the tension builds to a head. Elena disappears with Caroline and the recently returned Tyler. You're left alone to pace in your sister's too big house as Damon and Jeremy and Stefan and Bonnie and Alaric, and John and Isobel and Katherine (god, hadn't meeting her been a shock?) go after them.
But they all come home (covered in scratches and cuts and bruises, and Bonnie's unconscious, but Damon promises you that any sign of a fight will be gone before very long), and you can't ignore how Elena and Damon look at each other or how Jeremy holds Bonnie close to him like the most precious thing in the world anymore.
You corner Damon in the kitchen as he's getting glasses. "Hurt her and I'll set you on fire," you tell him lowly.
He can see that you mean every word in your eyes. "I'm not going to hurt her, Jenna," he says.
Your first instinct is to say something along the lines of, you have in the past, what's stopping you now? but you hold it in. "Relationships change. I know that much." Ric is proof enough of that, even if you could forget about Logan and all the rest.
He looks at you, understanding what you're trying to say without you really telling him, before he runs a hand up and down your arm. "You'll figure it out," Damon tells you. "Give it time."
On impulse, you hug him. The startled look on his face is enough to make you grin and crack a joke that he growls at you for, which just makes you laugh harder.
You see Alaric looking up at you and Damon because of your laughter, but you couldn't care less.
Somehow, you get pressured into hosting another barbeque a few weeks after the Klaus affair is settled. Alaric's been invited (you don't know why, you haven't said more than ten words to each other in the last month, but you have a feeling that Damon's involved somehow), and there's tension and way too much tequila. You wake up the next morning naked and hungover next to an equally naked (and almost as hungover) Ric. You haven't been this embarrassed since Elena caught you and him half-naked with Chunky Monkey in the hallway, but his own embarrassment goes a long way towards mending the bridges between you.
It's a start.
Damon mutters something that sounds an awful lot like "Finally" when you both make it down to the kitchen. You wonder why he's even here, cooking pancakes at that, before deciding that it probably has something to do with how Elena is sitting perched on the counter next to him and that you would rather not know the details.