AN/ Okay, deep breathe. I haven't written a Twilight story in a while okay guys? So if I'm a little off on personalities I'm sorry. Plus this is a parody. So what if Bella had a mental break down during the first book? Well this is what would have happened.
Disclaimer: V: HI Edward!!
Edward: EPP!!
V: No silly, its V, not EEPP.
Edward: Do I know you??
V: you sob don't remember me??
Edward: Umm no.
V: I'm the one who made you sound really gay…
Edward. OH! Right.
Silence.
Edward: You don't own twilight.
Bella's Pov
That was the last straw!! How dare he!! I lie for him and then HE won't tell me why?! That god BEEP Edward Cullen!! (AN/ Viewer discretion advised.) Grrrrrr. I got out of Charlie's Police vehicles thing, and stepped right on a patch of ice.
"Ahhhh!!" I screamed as my feet slid forward and I fell on my BE-hind.
"Bella? Honey? Are you all right? You look like you're about to have a mental breakdown." Charlie said. I tried to get up off the ground with out falling back down on it.
"I'm just peachy!" I said, sarcastically. "Stupid snow, stupid Edward, stupid & & &(70)# (()&!! GRRRRRRRR!!" Charlie sidestepped away from me just a bit.
"Maybe you should go lie down, Bells." He advised.
"No!" I screamed. "I don't wanna!!" I ran upstairs and slammed my door. I was now completely beyond reason. I looked out my window. There it was again, that disgusting white GUNK. It had to go. It just plain had to go. I looked around my room and my eyes fell on my blue hair dryer. I could feel the evil smile spreading across my face.
I walked down stairs with the blow dryer in my hand. I could hear Charlie on the phone with Billy.
"Yeah, could I come hang out over there for a while? Yeah, I think Bells is having a bit of a mental breakdown. Nah, she'll be fine. Rene used to have those all the time." He noticed me with the blow dryer, but I just kept walking. "Bella? What are you doing with that blow dryer??"
I walked over to the outlet near the door and plugged it in.
"MwahahahahahahhahahHAAHAHAHAHAH!!" I cried. I headed out the door, but about two steps out, the cord unplugged. "Awe #, I need an extension cord." I muttered. I ran outside to the shed and got three extension cords. Charlie quickly got into his car and drove off to Billy's place.
I plugged in the hair dryer and started to do my evil laugh again and then I got to work on melting the snow.
Edward's PovI knew they were going to be mad at me, so when Bella and her father left, I just stayed at the hospital with Carlisle. Until, that is, Alice called my cell phone.
"What Alice." I could hear Emmett laughing hysterically in the background. Rosalie was chuckling quietly, but not out of hearing range for a vampire.
"I think you should go check on Bella." Alice laughed. My forehead creased in confusion.
"What? Why? Awe Crap now what happened?"
"Nothing ha just ha you have just ha got to ha see ha what she's ha doing HAHAHAHAHHA." She hung up. I turned to Carlisle.
"I'll be right back." I told him. I left the hospital, ignoring the secretaries, and got in my car. I drove past Bella's house and was completely shocked by what I saw. Bella had numerous blow dryers on the ground on high. She was wielding one, trying to melt every flake of snow that fell. The area around NORMAL peoples houses was white, but Hers was green. I drove by again, now she had a few curling irons plugged in, heating up the area around her house. I stopped the car and got out.
I walked up to her.
"Bella?" I asked she turned around with a furious expression on her face. "What the crap are you…" I didn't get to finish because she unplugged the blow dryer and chucked it at my head. I was so surprised that it actually hit me.
"OW!!" I yelled and grabbed my head, pretending to be normal.
"GO AWAY!!" she yelled and then stormed back into the house. When she didn't come back out after five minutes, I calmly unplugged everything before it started a forest fire, and put all the items on her porch. Then I left.
AN/ hehehe, I think I did pretty good.