Hi there! Boy do I have a story for you! I mean it was really cool. Well, I freaked out at first, obviously, but once I got over that it was really awesome. Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself again, I do that a lot lately, now that- no. Can't say that yet, that would ruin the story.
My name is- well, was- no wait, I guess it still technically is my name. OH never mind, thinking really isn't my kind of thing anymore. My name is Conrad. Conrad Rodgers. And this, this is my story…
"CONRAD! GET DOWN HERE! WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE!" Mom yelled from downstairs.
"I'M COMING, THE GAME JUST ENDED!" I called back.
"You and your damn xBox…" I heard Dad grumble from the bottom of the steps.
"I HEARD THAT!" I yelled.
"What's your point?" He told me as I came downstairs. "Oh, go fix your hair, we ARE going out after all." He said after I got halfway down the steps.
"Fine." I grumbled and made my way back up to my bathroom. Ok, well, it's not MY bathroom, per-say, but it's the one closest to my room. I looked in the mirror at my unruly hair. It's definitely not blond, but it's not really dark either, you know? It really isn't that long either, about an inch and a half if I had to guess. Just short enough that it doesn't cover my eyes. I combed down the one patch of hair I knew my Dad was talking about, it's always the same spot that sticks up and refuses to stay down. Right on the side of my head, you know? Like where I put my head on my pillow at night.
Just as I finished up I heard Mom call, "And put on a clean shirt while your at it!"
"Whatever, Mom." I grumbled and went back to my room to change. "I've only worn this one today and yesterday…" Yeah, I'm kinda lazy, so sue me. She did have a point though. I probably shouldn't wear a dirty shirt to see fireworks. Did I mention that we were going to an early Fourth of July celebration? Because, honestly, what's more patriotic than explosives? Not much, right? I reached in my drawer and grabbed a clean shirt. It happened to be the "Sonic the Hedgehog" shirt that Grandma had bought me a while back. I was kind of going through a phase. Not that I don't like Sonic and Co. now, I just don't like them as much as I used to. Like, from obsession to casual enjoyment. That kind of thing. I put the shirt on, not really caring about what was on it.
"CONRAD! GET DOWN HERE NOW!" Dad screamed. It sounded like he was going to blow a gasket or something. Now, he has been having a rough day with work, he had to run in three times because the fire alarms went off at the building. Yeah, give him a break, because working on the weekend sucks, and can make ANYONE grumpy. Especially when you aren't normally paid to work weekends.
I got downstairs and joined the rest of the family in the mini-van. I was kind of bored the whole way. My brother has his Nintendo DS, Mom has her iPad, and Dad is busy driving. I used to have an iPod, but it got stolen recently. I know, it sucks. So anyways, I took my time bugging my brother almost the whole way there. I had gotten down to a bit of an art. To annoy him just enough that it amuses me, but not enough for him to be bothered enough to call on our parents.
"Hey, Joe?" I said poking him.
"What do you want?" He said, not taking his eyes off of his DS.
"Wow, you're cranky."
"Really? I didn't notice. Now did you have a question for me or not?"
"I forgot now."
"Then shut up."
It went on like that for a few minutes at a time. Leaving gaps between cycles, so as to not piss him off to much. Only once did Dad yell at me to stop, and Mom was to busy playing either her Mahjong game or Angry Birds to really notice.
Finally we arrived at the lake side. We were about 15 minutes early, but it was already pretty crowded. We went down a little ways and found a spot to set out our chairs.
With about five minutes to go, Joe decided that he wanted some ice cream.
"Joe, we just had dinner before we left." Mom said.
"Not true, we had like, ten minutes to ourselves after dinner!" Joe countered.
"Fine," she handed me a $20, "Conrad, go take Joe to get some ice cream. And Joe, this counts as dessert, so I don't want to hear you complaining when we get home."
"Why do I have to go?" I asked her.
"Because I don't trust Joe to not get lost, or to not spend all of the money." She had a point, Joe had a tendency to get lost easily. I admit, I'm not a whole lot better, at least when it comes to driving directions. I can do crowds like this, or walking to my friends houses, but not long range navigation. That's why they invented the GPS after all. So I took the money and we headed over to the ice cream truck that was parked next to the path we took coming in to the viewing area. We waited in line and Joe decided he wanted one of those push-up pops. I asked the man inside for one and handed him the twenty.
"Sorry, I just started selling pretty much. I don't have change for this right now." the man said, "But if you buy one more thing, I can."
I took a quick glance over the menu and saw a Sonic the Hedgehog pop. Something about the 20th anniversary celebration. 'Why not?' I figured and got one of those for myself. I brought the ice cream and my brother back to the chairs and we sat down to wait for the show. I looked down at the wrapper in my hands, it said that it was blueberry and bubble gum flavored with gumball eyes. I shrugged and pulled open the wrapper. Just as soon as I did that the first firework went off. BOOM! I almost dropped the ice cream. I quickly recovered a firm grip on the stick and took a bite. 'That's weird… I thought the wrapper said blueberry and bubblegum… This kinda tastes like… chili…' I really only have one question at this point. Why chili? I mean, it didn't taste bad, or anything, just unexpected. Okay, I admit. I was enjoying the taste. Don't ask me why, I guess it was just something about it being the Fourth of July. Then, as if chili wasn't weird enough, the tan part of the ice cream tasted like, get this, HOTDOGS. I had to laugh. This must have been some sort of prank, because I remembered from my obsession days that in the classic Sonic the Hedgehog shows, Sonic has an obsession with Chili-dogs. That was even used many times as Eggman's bait for traps! I looked at the ice cream as I was having my moment and came to a dead stop. 'For a moment there it looked like… nah, that's impossible. It's just ice cream.' I could have sworn I saw it wink. I finished the ice cream and popped the gumballs in my mouth. For once they tasted like they should have.
"Are we leaving now?" Joe interrupted my thoughts.
"Why are you in such a hurry?" I asked him, "It's not like we aren't going to run into a whole lot of traffic getting out of here."
"Dunno," He said, "I just wanna get home I guess."
I slapped myself in the face. I really wish he would think a little bit before acting. Oddly enough, I started feeling slightly more antsy than usual. I began to share the same opinion. For some reason, I just wanted to GO. I didn't care where, or even how. It was kinda like my normal ADHD except more dramatic.
"Are we there yet?" I found myself asking for the 10th time in the last five minutes.
"NO! NOW SHUT UP!" yelled Joe. "And here I though you were the patient one…"
"Goodnight!" I called to the rest of the family as I walked into my room. I decided to go to sleep right away, which is rather unusual for me, since I'm normally up all night. Of course, that was before I noticed something. Something blue. Something on me. 'What the f***? Since when is my hair BLUE?' The weird part is, it's not just my hair on my head that had turned blue. All the hair on my body, with the exception of my eyebrows, had turned blue. Of course, I can't see my eyebrows, so I didn't know that. I decided that I had had a bit too much soda or something that night and was just seeing things.
Yeah. I wasn't. I Couldn't believe my eyes when I woke up the next day. I was staring at my own reflection in the mirror. Just staring. Not much else I could do. My hair on my head had grown to about shoulder length overnight, not to mention was still blue. As well, my entire body, except for an oval on my chest, and my arms, had grown blue FUR. At first I had thought it was just some hair, but nope it was fur. And that oval? Not void of fur either, just tan instead of blue. Turning around I noticed what could only be described as probably the world's largest mullet. The hair/fur on my back was also rather long, kind of forming progressively shorter layers as it went down my back. I was REALLY confused.
"JOE!" I screamed.
"WHAT DO YOU WANT?"
"COME HERE FOR A MINUTE."
"You woke me up. You know that, right you faggot?"
"Oh shut up and get in here. I need to know if I'm finally losing what's left of my mind."
"I didn't know you ever had one."
"I'm being serious here."
"And so am - " He turned the corner. "… I? WHAT THE F-"
With speed I didn't know I had, I rushed up to him and slapped my hand over his mouth. "SHHH! I don't want Mom and Dad to find out. Why do you think I called you and not them dipshit?"
"What the heck, when did you get so fast?"
"You think I know?"
"Well I sure as hell don't kn- hey, something's happening back there." He said pointing at my back.
Indeed, something was happening. The hair on my head and back started stiffening up, causing it to look kind of like I had quills sticking out of my back. It felt kind of like someone was putting WAY too much hairspray on my body. I could feel them moving around, touching the walls. Not directly, of course.
"Are they sharp?" Joe asked, and decided it was a good idea to find out. "OW!" He yelled, pulling his hand back from the spines. "DUDE! That hurt, look, I'm bleeding!"
"It's not my fault you're an idiot." I told him with a smirk.
"Wait," He asked, a strange look on his face, "Does this mean we have to register your back as a lethal weapon now? Cause it probably is."
My only response was to slap him in the face. "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? Besides the obvious that is. That I am turning into … THIS and all you can do is crack jokes!" I almost screamed at him, entering a state of panic.
"Calm down dude. It can't be all bad, can it? I mean you kind of look like a humanoid Sonic."
Sonic. Why the hell didn't I notice that sooner. "The ice-cream…" I thought aloud.
"What?" my brother asked.
"The ice-cream I had last night tasted weird."
"Then why'd you eat it?"
"No no no. Not weird like, nasty, weird as in unusual. The thing tasted like, a frozen chili-dog or something."
"And you would know what a frozen chili-dog tastes like, how?"
"Oh shut up. I've had chili and I've had hot dogs before." I told him and went back to my thoughts. Well, for a few moments anyways. All of a sudden I felt a strange sensation on my spine, almost like it was being pulled straight through my butt, and the some of the bone at the joints was disappearing. After a few moments I looked behind me and sure enough, a small pointed tail was sticking out from my butt, just above my underwear. It wasn't as long as my new quills were, so it was barely noticeable on my back, unless you were looking for it. I tried to turn around to show Joe, but when I took a step towards him, I tripped, and ended up showing off my new spine by curling up into a ball.
"Shit man, how'd you do that?" Joe asked, bewildered at how tightly I could squeeze my body together.
I unrolled myself, ending up sprawled out on the floor, and responded through my current dizzy spell, "I really don't know."
"AND a tail? Man, you really are turning into Sonic. I bet you could run all the way around this house 100 times in like, 2 seconds.
"Just cause I look like him -"
"Oh don't be such a spoil sport." He cut me off. "I'll even set up a track for you."
"Fine." I rolled my eyes. Just as he left I felt a strange tingling sensation in my face and decided to look in the mirror. I could only watch as I both felt and saw my face being pulled into a VERY short muzzle. The thing barely came out any longer than my nose did, but it really did change my face's layout. Speaking of my nose I watched a small black dot appear on the end of my new snout, which could only be the new nose. I then noticed my eyes. It looked like the whites had fused together. My eyes were like one eye, with two irises now… You know what I'm talking about. It looked kind of like I was wearing a white mask, except that the "Holes" for my eyes could move. 'Yeah. That's a good way to describe it.' Next I felt a tugging sensation on my ears, and looked as they emerged from the fur, moving from the sides of my head to the top, and becoming pointed. Blue fur covered the back, but the insides remained skin. I couldn't help but to reach up and feel one. 'Yep, they're part of me all right…' I fell over again as I heard and felt my new ears pop, and my feet began to change shape.
"MY BROTHER is turning into FREAKING SONIC!" I faintly heard my brother yelling from outside. 'Guess that means Sonic has better hearing than people. Well, not a whole lot, but… oh whatever.' I thought, staring as my feet became more rounded and oval shaped.
"Might as well head outside now…" I mumbled to myself and started out. To my surprise I managed to get there in about 2 seconds. And then fell flat on my face.
"OW!" I said getting back up. "Guess I need to work on stopping…" I then felt kind of a weird urge. I decided to head over to our shed and get out my golf gloves. I put them on and suddenly felt much more comfortable. I realized I was barefoot and went back inside and put on my shoes. Well, as well as I could anyways. I walked back outside and found Joe laying out some cones.
"Ok, where did the cones come from?" I asked. "No, wait, on second thought, I don't want to know."
"Whatever." He said. "Why the heck are you wearing your golf gloves? Planning on playing the world's fastest game of golf?"
"Hardy har har. Very funny moron. I don't really -" I stopped talking when I felt a tingling sensation in my feet and hands. It didn't really seem like anything was happening to them… So I looked, the gloves and they were GLOWING. So were my shoes. A few seconds later the glow died down and I was now wearing Sonic's signature gloves and shoes. Pure white gloves with a few thin black stripes from each knuckle to the wrist on the back. Red shoes with a white buckle like stripe across the top and sides, and yellow at the top of the shoes around the hole for my feet.
"COOL!" Joe yelled, startling me. "You really are Sonic now! Can't deny it!"
"Whatever." I said, and then I couldn't help but to add, "I'm waaaaiiiting…" with a wave to the cones in his hand.
He chuckled and got back to work. A few minutes later he was done.
"Ok, you ready?" He asked.
"Yeah, I guess." I said, "Oh and by the way, I realized something. I'm too tall to really be Sonic. Sonic is shorter than the average adult and even some kids!" I said. Boy did I regret saying that. The moment I finished talking, I felt myself shrinking. I slapped myself in the forehead.
"Famous last words." Joe laughed. "Ok, let's just get this over with. 3… 2… 1… GO!"
I ran. Boy did I run. And damn did it feel good. I did 100 laps in no time at all and just kept going, getting faster and faster all the while, until… BOOM! I broke the sound barrier. Running.
There was no denying it now. I. Am. Sonic. The Hedgehog.
Well. I'm done with the story now. Really. This is just a random oneshot. Yeah. I just had the idea out of nowhere. Actually, part of the story's setup and exposition is true. I was just reading some random TF fic before we went to go see fireworks one night, and my I was inspired by the ice-cream I ended up getting, almost exactly like the story said. No, none of the names are real.
CRAP! Disclaimer: I do not own Sonic the Hedgehog. There. I said it. *Raspberry* And you thought I forgot. Well I didn't. I just wanted to start with the actual story.
Remember: Don't suffer from insanity. Enjoy it.