Rain and Walls
Merli discovered numerous things as she glared at the purple-haired young man. The first thing she realised was that all those rumours about him were true. He was trying to hide it, of course, but she could see the truth in his eyes.
The second thing she noticed was that this man, who was named Gakupo, was an awful, awful person. He stole the people she cared about, mostly her circle of friends. Now her friends wanted nothing to do with her. Even her own sister had turned on her.
Thirdly, Merli realised that she was a horrible excuse for a human being. It was unfair of her to blame Gakupo when it was her who pushed everyone away. When her dearest friend Lily asked her if she cared about her at all following a verbal battle between the two, Merli took a while to answer.
How did Merli finally answer? With the words "as if I care about you", of course. Merli had a strong habit of acting like she didn't feel concern towards others. It was her very own personal wall. She liked having this wall, not just because it protected her but because it gave her a chance to have control of something, no matter how small that thing was. She had the power to decide who could go through her wall and who could not.
The day turned as pathetic as Merli felt. Rain hit the roof of the school building like a barrage of bullets. The wind swept the shivering protagonist's hair into her face. She wanted to scream into the clouds that melted into the sky like metal.
Merli decided that partially blaming someone else for her unfortunate circumstances was much easier than taking full credit. She looked next to Gakupo, who was sitting at a heavily populated lunch table.
Kaito was sitting there and enjoying his food, the bastard. His sapphire blue hair was glistening due to the rain lightly tapping his head. His eyes were large and innocent, just like Merli's. His facial expression constantly changed as gossip about different students entered his ears.
"How the hell did Gumi get pregnant?" he asked Gakupo, who shrugged his shoulders and continued eating in silence. The purple-haired man held Kaito's hand for a second before taking it away, his cheeks dusted with pink.
Merli crossed her arms as she watched from afar. What was it that made her push those closest to her away? Was it her previous boyfriend who caused this? After all, he did cheat on her, force her into uncomfortable situations and forbid her from spending too much time with her family rather than him.
Perhaps it was her mother, who always forced her to focus on her studies. In fact, Merli was supposed to be completing homework that she forgot to do at that moment. Mrs Aoki constantly favoured Merli over her sister Lapis and put extra pressure on her to succeed, even though Lapis was just as intelligent. Merli guessed that it was because she was older. This increasing burden was taking its toll and caused her to break down at least once every week. On each breakdown day she refused to do any homework and instead opted to cry into her pillow. Perhaps this was why she wanted to cry into the clouds. Those clouds did look awfully like pillows.
Merli could easily blame Lily as well. It was that woman who inadvertently made Merli discover the usefulness of personal walls. Lily had no idea that she was constructing a barrier to protect her by acting like a cool, calm, carefree and rebellious teenager.
One person's stupid smile destroyed a significant portion of Merli's emotional wall. Kaito was always kind and friendly towards her. It wasn't that she was special or anything; he behaved the same way around everyone he met. His girlish giggle was infectious and his aforementioned facial expressions made him both amusing and endearing.
Merli let go of her arms. She was many things, but stupid was not one of them. Before she met Lily and began acting like her, she was a naïve and innocent girl. Now she was extremely perceptive to others feelings and she knew what people looked like when they were in love. She could sense the euphoria in Kaito's eyes whenever he was near Gakupo. She could tell that he clearly and desperately wanted to show him how much he loved him but was unaware of any possible way to do so.
Merli wanted to slap herself for falling in love again. She was unable to do so because her hand was frozen and stuck to her side. She was no longer shivering and the pain of standing out in the rain and feeling sorry for herself subsided.
A soft but firm voice caused Merli to gain enough energy to turn around. "You're going to die." In front of her was a tall boy with messy blonde hair and frightening red eyes, who stood underneath an eave at the entrance to the school building.
If Merli had something to throw, she certainly would have hurled it at this teenager. "What's that supposed to mean? Are you threatening me, Yohioloid?"
Yohioloid smirked. "You're going to catch a cold. Unless you're an idiot, of course. I hope you're an idiot. You're the only one still out."
Merli looked back at the lunch table, which was now empty. "That… that's not…"
Yohioloid risked catching a cold and walked through the rain towards the disenfranchised teenage girl. He put his hand on her shoulder in a manner that Merli found oddly comfortable.
"What are you doing out here?" he asked quietly.
Merli stepped back and scowled. "That's none of your business."
"Do you do that all the time?"
"What?"
"Pull yourself away from people."
Merli clenched her fists. "I don't think that's any of your business. Leave me alone."
Yohioloid nodded, turned around and began to walk away. Before she knew what she was doing, Merli screeched and held her arm out towards him. "Wait!" Yohioloid turned his head towards her. "You're right. I do pull myself away from others. Sorry."
Yohioloid grinned, and suddenly Merli's world became brighter. "It's okay. Why are you so upset? Is it because of a lack of serotonin? You can get good medication for that, you know. I've got a book you can read about it if that helps."
Merli covered her mouth and chuckled. Yohioloid grabbed her free hand. "Do you want to tell me what's wrong?"
Merli's cheeks turned into large cherries as she averted her gaze. "I… well, you see… it's Kaito. He's… why on earth am I telling you this?"
"Go on," Yohioloid said in a soothing voice.
"Kaito loves someone else."
Yohioloid frowned and let go of Merli's hand, making Merli feel cold again. "Oh… Okay. I know what it feels like to love someone and not have those feelings returned."
"It's not just that. My friends have all ditched me."
"I hope this doesn't make me sound condescending, but I have some advice for you. Only hang out with people who are either there for you or wish they were when they aren't."
Merli's eyes widened, causing Yohioloid to smile again. Images of Yohioloid talking to her whenever she was upset flashed through her mind. He had been there the entire time. She never considered him to be a friend so she never noticed this before.
The rain stopped and the clouds slowly began parting ways, making room for a clear sky. "Um… who is it that you like?" Merli asked.
"Do you want me to honest?" Yohioloid asked back. Merli nodded. "There's no way I'm saying it."
Merli touched Yohioloid's face and searched for the truth in his eyes. She could see nothing but a wounded, lonely soul.
"It's me who you like, isn't it?" she wondered aloud.
Yohioloid sighed and nodded. "I didn't tell you because I knew I'd make a terrible boyfriend. I can be a slob and a snob at the same thing. I've never been on a date so I don't know how to be romantic. Oh, and I keep talking and often don't know when to shut up, just like I'm doing down. Oh God, I'm such a-"
Merli grabbed Yohioloid's arms, pulled him towards her and planted a kiss on his lips. Yohioloid couldn't resist kissing her back.
"I don't think you'd make a bad boyfriend," Merli admitted after the two stopped. She immediately became flustered, her heart beating at a rate that would be unhealthy if it weren't for the situation. "I mean, uh, okay, why did I just kiss you? I'm sorry. Wait, no I'm not. You love me, so it's not like you would mind. Actually, I am sorry. I shouldn't have done that so suddenly."
Yohioloid laughed. "It's okay, I guess. Thanks for the kiss. Are you going to push me away too?"
Merli rapidly shook her head. "I… Would you like… maybe we could go out some time."
"That sounds great, if you're willing to put up with me."
"I think things will be fine. Saturday night at six, okay?"
"I'm going to need your address."
"Oh, yeah. Of course. How could I forget? I'll write it on a piece of paper in class and hand it to you."
Merli grabbed Yohioloid's hands and kissed his lips once more. She frowned and narrowed her eyes. "No one's to know about me being all upset and soft before. I'm cool, calm and collected, okay?"
"I'm not going to ruin your reputation, if that's what you're saying."
The bell sounded like an annoying younger sibling trying to interrupt their older sibling. Merli hugged Yohioloid before leaving his side and walking into the school building. She walked up the torturously long flight of stairs and entered her classroom, surprised to see her old friends give her the thumbs-up.
"What?"
"We were getting ready to clean the room when we saw you and Yohioloid kissing outside!" Lily explained in an uncharacteristically cheerful voice.
In this type of situation Merli would usually get angry at Lily, but she was so happy about her new relationship with Yohioloid that she forgot to frown.
Kaito may have broken part of Merli's wall, but it was Yohioloid who was beginning to build a better defence for her, one that gave her protection but still allowed her the freedom to stay close to others.