I don't know if anyone will notice this, but this story is a COMPLETE rip off of Invaderk's "10 Ways" Harry Potter Fanfic. Definitely check it out, it's really funny.

Again, Victoria and Quaxo. I got the idea for this one when I was trying to write a second chapter for my "Quaxoria!" story (which title will hopefully be changed at some point) before school began today. (Since for some reason, I get there 40 minutes earlier then I need to.) So yes, I do have 5 stories to work on right now, but I will try really hard to do it and I SWEAR I won't start a new one anytime soon. (maybe)

(For anyone that isn't a crazy CATS fan, Queens are female cats and Toms are male cats. Just to let you know.)

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The Rum Tum Tugger's Sure-Fire List Of How To Get Any Queen You Want

1. Always, ALWAYS call them "babe" or "hot stuff". They love it!

2. If your Queen is with a different Tom , you can always just beat him up. Queens like it when you're in charge.

3. Queens love to be teased. They think it's cute.

4. No means yes. Always.

5. Get her jealous. Surround yourself with other girls and ignore her. Guaranteed!

6. Queens love a man with a mane! If you can't grow one, fake it! It can't be that hard.

7. Surprise them! No, not with flowers, idiot. Run up from behind and kiss them when their not looking! (On a side note, Queens don't really like flowers anyways. It's all an act.)

8. When in doubt, show off your muscles.

9. Easiest way to get a Queen: Pickup line.

10. If all else fails, no Queen can resist it when a sexy Tom like you starts crying. It just melts their hearts.

Quaxo scanned the list doubtfully as Tugger smiled at him in anticipation.

"Tug... you're my best mate... and I mean this in the nicest way possible... but this is INSANE!"

Tugger laughed and put an arm around his friends shoulders. "Quax... I know woman. Trust me. The list works."

Quaxo shook his head. "Victoria's not stupid. She'll see right through this."

"Naw." Tugger disagreed, "Listen, I've done this a million times. It's never, ever failed!"

"Are you sure?" Quaxo asked, scanning the list again. "Because this really don't look like it's going to work very well..."

"Trust me." Tugger said, turning on his charm.

Quaxo closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Ok then..." he muttered, "I'll try it. But this better work, Tug!"

Tugger brushed off the threat lazily. "Look, there she is." He pointed one of his paws in the direction of the beautiful white cat. "Go one, buddy! Don't forget the list!"

Tugger placed both his hands on Quaxo's back and pushed him forward into the Jellicle clearing. Quaxo stumbled, but quickly regained his balance. He glanced down at the list one last time before heading toward Victoria...

()()()()

Short little intro chapter there. I should have the first real chapter up either later tonight or tomorrow. The list may be changed as time goes on, but I don't think so. I've already re-wrote it about 20 times. I think I'm happy with it now.

The last time I told you that I would love you dearly if you wrote me a review, some people (I'm not naming names coughkaklaskmancough) took it a bit literally, so this time I will just BE REALLY GRATEFULL if you write me a review. It would be uber cool.

Tootle-pip!