Okay, I don't own any X-Men Evolution or GI Joe characters, yada, yada, yada…I just had a weird idea for a fic. You got it, another weird senseless fic that doesn't go anywhere except insanity! Enjoy the madness.
So You Wanna Be In Pictures?
Chapter 1. The Mutant Film Festival Begins
"All right then," Hank clapped his hands together and rubbed them. He addressed the large group of students and faculty of the Xavier Institute and their guests. "I'm glad to see all of you here. I'm pleased you could all make it."
"Beast we live here," Kitty said. "Besides you said attending this thing was part of our grade."
"Yeah and for us you put the mansion into lockdown to keep us from taking off!" Logan indicated the adults.
"There was nothing good on TV anyway," Shipwreck shrugged.
"Well as you are probably all aware all our students had to make a short film for their Creative Arts class," Hank said.
"When was this?" Shipwreck asked. "It's the first I've heard of it."
"What? You idiot!" Cover Girl snapped. "What do you think we were talking about the past two weeks? Why did you think the kids were carrying around all those cameras? You even agreed that having our kids participate was a good idea!"
"He was probably just ignoring you and reading the sports page to check the racing scores," Pietro scoffed.
"Quicksilver!" Roadblock admonished.
"Actually he's right," Shipwreck intervened.
"Can we get on with this?" Logan groaned.
"Yes well," Hank cleared his throat. "As you are aware, I've felt that while our curriculum does teach the basics…"
"Yeah the three E's," Logan snickered. "Explosives, epithets and endless bickering."
"May I continue please?" Hank asked sternly. "As I was saying while we are giving students a rudimentary education…"
"As well as the finer points of blowing things up," Logan interrupted.
"What is this, Open Mike night?" Hank snapped. "I've felt for a long time that our students have been neglecting their creative side."
"You obviously haven't been reading any of the kids' essays," Scott quipped. "Or reading the bathroom walls lately."
"Et tu Scott?" Hank looked at him.
"Hey even I get a little punchy once in a while," Scott shrugged.
"I'm gonna punch you in a minute if you people don't stop interrupting me!" Hank shook his fist.
"Uh Beast I think you're getting a little off track here," Xavier interjected.
"Sorry," Hank apologized. "I think my point is that lately we've been focusing our energies too much into fighting and violence other than more artistic measures."
"Lately?" Warren spoke. "You mean things around here are worse than it was before I got here?"
"So help me Tweety Bird I'm gonna…" Hank snapped.
"Enough!" Xavier interrupted. "Look I know things have been tense between the faculty lately. But can you all act your age for once? You're acting like children!"
"I find that comment very insulting," Jubilee remarked.
"Look we all know why we're here!" Lance called out. "We all had to do some kind of film project, either alone or in a group up to five people. We either had to do a skit or some kind of mini-documentary on a topic. And we're all going to watch it so everybody gets a chance at public humiliation so can we just get on with it already?"
"My sentiments exactly," Logan remarked.
"All right first up is Jamie," Hank read off the list. "Let's see your film."
"Hey what's going on with all of you guys?" Shipwreck asked Ororo. "You all here at the Institute have been kinda at each others throats."
"I'd rather not talk about it right now," Ororo grumbled as she folded her arms.
The film started. "Hi My name is Jamie," Jamie reported. "And this film is about the animals in our lives, more specifically pets. People have all kinds of interesting pets. Take Lockheed for example."
There was a shot of Lockheed playing ball with Kitty. "Lockheed is Kitty's best friend," Jamie could be heard saying.
"Lockheed is my special friend," Kitty said on screen. "We have a lot of fun. When I'm down he keeps me company."
"Would you say that owning a pet makes you more responsible?" Jamie asked off camera.
"I guess so," Kitty shrugged.
"KITTY!" Remy ran by. "GET THAT STUPID LIZARD AWAY FROM ME!" Lockheed was chasing Remy, breathing fire at his butt. "YEOW!"
"Remy stop teasing Lockheed!" Kitty shouted. "Now where was I?"
"Uh, never mind," Jamie told her.
"You really are responsible," Remy told Kitty. "Responsible for nearly getting Gambit burned to a crisp!"
"You probably did something to tick him off!" Kitty snapped. She cuddled Lockheed. "Didn't he? You are my sweetie! Yes you are! Yes you are!" Lockheed licked her face. "You are so sweet!"
"Adorable," Remy grumbled. "NOT!"
"Another interesting pet is Polly the Parrot," Jamie continued on the video. There was a shot of Polly on a perch.
"I'm sensing a pattern here Jamie," Hank sighed.
"Okay here's who I like in the fourth," Polly was talking on a cell phone. "Put down a hundred for Daggers Dancing…"
"I don't believe this…" Logan held his head.
"Yeah!" Shipwreck growled. "He swore to me that another horse would win that race!"
"Hello my baby! Hello my honey! Hello My ragtime gal!" Polly danced around singing. "Eat your hearts out judges from American Idol!"
A huge bald eagle flew by the window. "HEY! THIS IS MY SPOT!" Polly shrieked. "GET YOUR OWN! CAMERA ON ME! CAMERA ON ME!" Polly flapped furiously. "I WANNA BE IN PICTURES! I WANNA BE IN PICTURES!"
It cut to a shot of Spirit. A huge bald eagle landed on his arm. "Another interesting pet is Freedom, Spirit's pet bald eagle." Jamie spoke. "He also spends many wonderful hours with him, being very responsible I might add."
"Jamie are you trying to tell us something here?" Hank asked.
"Freedom is not my pet," Spirit on the screen corrected. "He is my companion. We are both equal under the sun. He still is a free spirit."
That was when Freedom noticed a tasty mouse out of the corner of his eye and took off. "Of course that means he behaves as if he was in the wild sometimes," Spirit shrugged.
"Ewwww!" A collective squeal went from nearly all the girls and some of the guys as Freedom downed the mouse. "Gross!"
"But not all animals can fend for themselves," Jamie's voice did a voice over the next scene at the animal shelter. "Here there are poor unloved animals no one wants. I bet there are people out there who would love them if given a chance."
"What is this, a commercial?" Logan asked.
"If these animals are not taken care of, they will be killed unless someone helps them," Jamie's voice spoke. On screen several puppies were running free from their cages.
"I think I can see where this is going…" Hank moaned.
"BE FREE! BE FREE!" Jamie shouted to all the escaping puppies on screen.
"Okay so maybe I did get a little carried away on that take," Jamie gulped.
"This does explain the call I had from the police the other day," Xavier sighed. "Thank you Jamie!"
"For what?" Scott asked.
"I think we've all seen enough!" Hank popped out the tape.
"But you haven't gotten to the best part!" Jamie whined. "Where I go to the zoo and…"
"NO!" Everyone shouted.
"I think we'd rather be surprised when the lawyers call," Ororo groaned.
"Well this is off to a rousing start," Logan remarked.
"Shut up Logan and let's see the next film," Hank grumbled.
What is the next film? What is going on with the Institute Instructors? Just push that cute little review button and you will find out!