Finding Completion
Formerly known as: Save Me from the Darkness
Age rating: T, just to be safe.
Warnings: I don't really feel the need to alert you that it is a fanfiction centring around two males but I should point out that it's about a blossoming relationship between Sasuke and Naruto – so no hate for the pairing please.
That said, please enjoy, my gorgeous readers. Especially because this has been rewritten into something of an almost acceptable standard. ;)
In the mind of Naruto Uzumaki, the worst day ever was, without a doubt, Valentine's Day. It was so overrated, cliché, fake and overdone. How Naruto had managed to avoid choking on the excess of pink, fluffy, heart-shaped decorations clouding the air, he did not know. The only thing worse than the painfully sickening pick-up lines or whisperings of 'sweet nothings' was seeing practically everyone in Konoha paired up with somebody else on this day of togetherness. It was just a horrible and painful reminder that he was an outsider. He had always been and still was alone.
For reasons unbeknownst to him, he couldn't bring himself to stay cooped up inside his dingy little apartment all evening on Valentine's Day, so he had dragged himself out into the crowded village streets for a short walk. Brightly-coloured lights of pink and red gave the alleyways and the stores that lined them a warm, romantic atmosphere but for Naruto, they made him feel nothing but cold. Pushing a hand through his wild blonde spikes, he sighed quietly to himself as he dragged his feet along the stony ground.
It gave him slight comfort to see his friends finding solace in each other on this special day; he'd earlier passed Shikamaru and Temari at a jewellery stall, the two smiling at each other as Shikamaru handed his new girl a necklace of her choice. Minutes before he had witnessed Kiba and Hinata sharing a bowl of ramen and as he had passed Ino's flower shop, Chouji had been pushing a box of homemade chocolates towards her over the counter. Even through the darkness and the window separating Naruto from the scene, it was impossible for him to miss the deep blush spread over the blonde girl's cheeks and the sweet smile resting on her lips.
Of course, it wasn't the exchange of gifts that brought jealousy stabbing through Naruto, it was the intimacy and the fondness that was so blatant between those giving to each other. Sure, he had his friends and teachers, and sure, he had a fairly comfortable life. To say he was unhappy would be wrong. Incomplete would be a more accurate way of describing it.
All around him were couples laughing and smiling to each other, tucking hair behind each other's ears, stroking each other's cheeks and pressing light kisses to them and it almost felt like Naruto was being suffocated by the sights. Whether he was being melodramatic or not, it didn't matter. It was impossible to stay positive when being alone hurt this much.
"At least I still have my friends…" Naruto shrugged, turning the corner and thus relieving himself of the taunting sights of all the celebrations taking place on the other street. "Even if they're all out with their significant others tonight, I know they haven't forgotten about me."
Unfortunately, it was easy to say that but difficult to believe it. Rolling his cerulean eyes at his own emotional instability, Naruto pulled the collar of his usual orange jacket up until it covered his chin. The metal of the zip clinked against his teeth as he pulled it between them, trying to distract himself from his depressing thoughts. It didn't take him long to reach his apartment block but it was as if whatever invisible force had pushed him from his apartment in the first place was still present, repelling him. There was a heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach and the thought of going inside made nausea wash over him. Though he couldn't put a finger on the reasons behind this, he decided not to question it and instead settled for taking a seat on the wall lining his front yard.
The cold of the stone seeped through the thin material of his trousers and chilled him to the bone but it bothered him little. Sighing to himself, he turned his gaze upwards to the star-littered sky and took a moment to appreciate its beauty.
"It's the same thing every day of every year, huh?" He hummed to himself, crossing his arms over his chest as his eyes searched the midnight blue sky for the brightest star. "I guess the only thing to do now is hope that it gets better…"
His murmurings to himself came to an abrupt stop as he caught onto the sound of footsteps growing near, echoing in the quiet of the night. Two shadows came into view, huddled close together. When they were within eyesight range, Naruto recognised them immediately.
"Iruka-sensei? Kakashi-sensei?" He questioned, just to make sure his eyes weren't tricking him. What could these two possibly be doing out together? Unless… "Oh, don't tell me you two are…?"
The bright smile of greeting that had previously been settled on Iruka's frien"dly face faltered a little.
"It doesn't bother you, does it Naruto?" He asked, his voice sheepish and unsure.
"No?" Naruto frowned. "Why would it?"
Iruka shifted a little uncomfortably, the hand that was holding Kakashi's tightening a little. The motion didn't go unnoticed by Naruto but he chose not to comment, instead waiting for his former sensei's elaboration.
"Well, it's just that…"
"He thinks you'd be uneasy about it simply because we're both men." Kakashi cut in, amusement tinting his voice.
This reasoning caused Naruto to actually laugh out loud, despite the horrible feeling that had been residing in his chest all evening.
"No, sensei, of course it doesn't. Love is love; gender doesn't matter." He sniffed, pushing his hands into his pockets.
The relief that swept across Iruka's features was visible, even in the dim light of the lamps lining the street. His shoulders relaxed and tension seemed to disappear from his small frame. Letting his hand slip free of Kakashi's, he took a slow step towards Naruto and gently laid a hand on his shoulder.
"I'm glad you understand, Naruto. It's an understanding and acceptance like that which makes you an important person in many people's lives." He smiled, squeezing his former student's shoulder lightly.
Though Iruka's comment was meant as an uplifting compliment, it just registered in Naruto's mind as a reason for feeling worse. If he was supposedly so important, why wasn't he anyone's most important person? Perhaps he just wasn't special enough.
"Heh, thanks Iruka-sensei, you big sap!" He chuckled, scratching at the back of his head in an attempt to hide how the words really made him feel. "Shouldn't you two be getting back to your romantic evening?"
Kakashi laughed at this but Iruka's smile faded and he frowned slightly, carefully studying Naruto's expression. Uncomfortably, the blonde shifted his gaze, swallowing audibly as he focused on the pearly moon hanging in the sky.
"Are you okay, Naruto? If you'd like, you could come join Kakashi and myself for dinner." The dark-haired man offered, scratching absentmindedly at the scar on his nose as he straightened up.
Touched by the offer but not feeling up to accepting, Naruto turned it down.
"Thanks, Iruka, but I'm fine. I wouldn't want to intrude." He gave them a weak smile, shrugging his shoulders as he stood up from the wall. Stretching a little to awaken his relaxed and cold muscles, he bid his teachers goodnight. "Have a good evening, I'll hopefully see you guys around. 'Night."
"Goodnight, Naruto." Iruka smiled, though his concern was still evident in his eyes. "You'd better head inside soon, we don't want you getting ill."
"See ya around, kiddo." Kakashi winked his one good eye, ruffling his student's hair with fondness before he and his lover headed on further down the street.
Watching them disappear into the darkness, Naruto felt the slight warmth he'd experienced from their presence slip away. As he climbed the steps to his apartment block's front door, he felt the same unbearable urge to get away from it. Casting a glance at his watch, he noted that it was almost eleven o'clock and although he should really be getting in soon, he didn't feel up to it. Deciding that staying out in the cold couldn't really do that much damage, he turned away from his building and continued on his walk through the streets of Konoha.
It wasn't long before he found himself standing on the bridge that crossed the river in the park, staring up at the same beautiful night sky and thinking the same thoughts about being alone and unwanted. He lost himself in his dark musings, sighing every so often when he realised how uncharacteristically melodramatic he was being and how pathetically he was acting but despite all this, he felt powerless to stop behaving in this way.
"Are you trying to catch pneumonia out here, dobe?" An all too familiar and unwanted voice snatched Naruto out of his thought pattern.
"Obviously," he returned sarcastically, turning to face Sasuke Uchiha, his rival, who was standing a few metres away with a patronising smirk on his lips. "And look, it's working now that you're here with that icicle shoved up your ass."
"Oh, the wit." Sasuke remarked dryly, taking a few steps closer to the blond, who was fixing him with a hardening glare for each inch that he moved. Ignoring this, the raven-haired youth stood right next to the shorter boy, crossing his arms and leaning against the red metal railings, staring out into the darkness that the shadows of the trees created.
A few seconds of silence passed, Naruto watching the older boy warily for a few moments before he seemed to accept that his presence wasn't threatening and he was able to relax a little more, though his shoulders were still around his ears and he was clearly tense.
"Seriously though…" Sasuke spoke surprisingly quietly. With one hand, he casually reached out and lightly pulled at Naruto's jacket. "This top is paper-thin. You'll catch a cold."
Clearly uncomfortable with the slight hint of concern tinting the Uchiha's voice, Naruto inched away a little, shrugging.
"Like you care." He accused, curling his fingers around the metal bar of the bridge and scraping his short nails against the chipped red paint.
For a moment, all that could be heard was the soft breathing of either boy but then Sasuke inhaled deeply and turned his head slightly to fix his teammate with an intense gaze.
"I do, actually. I care more than you think." His voice was steady and strong but it carried underlying emotions which Naruto just couldn't identify.
Narrowing his sapphire eyes slightly at the taller boy, Naruto raised a blond eyebrow sceptically.
"You sure have a funny way of showing it sometimes, then." He remarked, scoffing a little as he turned his attention back to the darkened scenery of the park.
"That's true." Sasuke agreed, and his response was not the one that Naruto was expecting, but before the blonde could question him on it, he changed the subject. "Shouldn't you be out trying to win Sakura's affections or something?"
Rolling his eyes, Naruto shook his head.
"I gave up on that a long time ago. She's not interested in me. That said, shouldn't you be out fending her off?"
With a one-sided, light shrug, Sasuke started pulling at the spikes of hair at the back of his head and gave a non-committal grunt.
"Last I saw of her, she was cooped up next to Rock Lee at some food stall." He responded, voice even and gaze calculating of Naruto's reaction.
Though he was initially surprised, the emotion faded quickly. It did make sense, he supposed.
"Hah, so he's good enough for her but I'm not." Naruto said bitterly, jutting out his jaw and trying to reign in his emotions. "Well, that stings a little."
After a short pause, Sasuke straightened up and waved a hand dismissively.
"Forget about her, she's not important." Despite the stiffness in his voice, he did sound genuinely bothered by Naruto's pain and the fact was, it had to be said, a slight comfort to him.
"No," he disagreed anyway, clenching his fists at his sides. "I'm the one that's not important. Not to her, not to anybody."
"You're important to me."
Sasuke's words hung heavily in the cold night air, resting on Naruto's skin, cold and almost shocking for a few moments before they finally sunk in.
"Really, Sasuke?" He fixed the taller boy with a questioning look as he stepped closer to him, and the hurt and the weariness swirling in his ocean depths were pleading Sasuke to tell him the truth, so he did.
"Yeah." He answered quietly, returning his teammate's gaze evenly.
Somehow, it felt like that answer just wasn't enough, so taking a deep breath, he pushed down the mental barriers holding back his emotions, and carried on.
"I know that we fight a lot and I know that sometimes, I want to beat the life out of you – I'm not going to lie-" At this, Naruto made a face but remained silent. "And I know I make you feel the same way, but on top of all this tension, or maybe underneath it all, there's something else. A different kind of bond."
Hesitatingly, he tried to identify the emotions in Naruto's eyes but for once in his life, the blond was actually managing to conceal them.
"Go on." He encouraged, voice monotone.
Obviously uncomfortable with opening up so much, Sasuke waited ten or so seconds before replying, choosing his words carefully.
"I used to assume you felt like a brother to me but I used to have a brother and I remember how that felt clearly enough to know that how I feel towards you is different. Something about you draws me to you no matter how much we annoy each other. I don't know what's going on, but I know I don't want to lose you. You're important to me… You're…. my most important person."
Naruto's sapphire eyes widened at the last sentence, the words burning into his heart. Finally he was hearing those words he had wanted to hear; he was receiving that comfort and feeling of worth, and even if it was from the last person he'd ever expect to receive it from, it felt so right to hear it from him. It felt like acceptance; it felt like love.
"Promise me you're not winding me up, Uchiha." He threatened lightly, still on the defensive.
"You know I wouldn't bother messing around." Sasuke snapped a little, emotionally worn out from his confession.
An awkward silence settled between them, Naruto nodding to himself as he mulled over his teammate's words and tried to decide what should be said next.
"What do you want from me, Sasuke?" He finally asked, exasperated.
"I'm not sure, but I think I have an idea." Sasuke replied, turning to face Naruto fully, the moonlight illuminating his pale skin and onyx eyes.
"So what is it?" Naruto pressed impatiently, eyes searching Sasuke's for something resembling an explanation.
"There's something I'd like to try and if it works, everything will make sense for both of us." That said, Sasuke took a step closer to his shorter teammate, until there was barely a few inches between them. "Just don't – don't hit me, okay? I'm not in the mood for kicking your ass tonight."
Laughing loudly, Naruto stood his ground and nodded, a grin pulling at his lips.
"Okay, Sasuke. I won't kick your ass tonight, even if I don't like what you're about to do." He teased playfully, resting his hands on his hips and maintaining his confident stance despite how much his heart started to hammer against his ribcage as Sasuke drew closer to him.
"Good." The older boy sighed softly and his warm breath ghosted over Naruto's lips.
Naruto had not two seconds to understand the sensation before Sasuke's soft lips were pressed to his and somehow, they were kissing. His heart was fluttering in his chest, new feelings floating to the surface and his body feeling as if it were being set alight. Before he knew what he was doing, he was moving his lips in time to Sasuke's, his eyes drifting closed as he lost himself in the new sensations. This felt familiar, safe, right. At some point, Sasuke's hands had wrapped around his waist, tugging him forward until they were pressed chest to chest, drinking in the feeling of security that being so close to another person brought. It was if they were in their own little bubble of discovery and new feelings; no-one in the world was feeling the same things as them at this moment in time, no matter how magical Valentine's Day was making others feel. This was real romance. This was real love.
When he finally regained his breath and opened his eyes, feeling slightly dizzy (but if anyone asked, he'd desperately insist that it was from the lack of oxygen, not the way Sasuke's fingertips had ghosted over his cheeks as they kissed or the way his heart swelled in his chest each time their lips had pulled away and met again) he realised that Sasuke had been intently watching him for some time and a light blush spread across his cheeks.
"Don't watch me like that… while doing something like that, teme." He indignantly protested, slightly pulling away from the older boy's embrace.
"I just wanted to see if you were feeling it too." Sasuke said, still staring intently at the shorter boy as if trying to measure the depth of the emotion swirling in his eyes.
The calculation must have been satisfactory because then, lo and behold, Naruto witnessed something he thought he'd never have the pleasure of seeing. Sasuke's obsidian eyes softened and his lips curled upwards not into a smirk but a genuine smile. It was small but it was sweet and it almost made Naruto's poor overworked and overloaded heart explode.
"Yeah," Naruto whispered, bringing a hand up to lightly lay it against the pounding in his chest. "I think I'm feeling it too."
It didn't matter that sometimes they argued and that none of this should have made sense because somehow, it did. All that mattered was Sasuke's arms wrapped around him and their gazes fixed on each other as their minds tried to catch up with the onslaught of emotions that that one, long and meaningful kiss had brought upon them.
"I can't believe this is happening…" Naruto murmured, eyes curving into arcs as he smiled. Opening them again, his smile grew sly and developed into a smirk as he said his next words. "I should really still kick your ass for making me feel so overwhelmed, you cocky git."
Chuckling quietly, Sasuke nodded lightly in agreement.
"You're just pissed because I make you turn into a girl with one kiss." He teased, leaning down to lightly brush his lips over Naruto's scarred tan cheek.
"Shu'up," the blond protested, turning his head and laughing quietly. Reality settled down on him again and logic caught up with him so he sobered up, fixing Sasuke with a more serious look. "What happens now, Sasuke?"
All confident and self-assured as he usually was, Sasuke answered smoothly.
"I give you your Valentine's Day present, naturally." He replied, pulling away from the younger boy slightly to reach one hand into the pocket of his white shorts to withdraw a fairly large, wrapped box.
The moon had long since escaped from the cloak of the clouds and flooded the park with silvery light, allowing Naruto to see the deep blue of the high-quality paper as he ran his fingertips over the packaged that had been pressed into his hand.
"You bought me a Valentine's present before even knowing how I felt?" He questioned, more than a little surprised.
"Before even knowing how I felt about you, for that matter." Sasuke nodded, eyes focused on the present rather than meeting Naruto's eyes. He nodded once more at the gift, encouraging the blond. "Go on, open it."
With slow, unsure movements, Naruto removed the paper to reveal a black leather box. After studying it for a second, he unclasped the lid and opened the box. Inside were a few items hidden amongst a mass of red tissue paper, hiding or protecting the smaller gifts inside. Gingerly pulling the paper aside, Naruto couldn't help but let out a gasp of surprise.
There were three dark steel kunai in the box, each of great quality. As he ran his finger gently over the hilt of one of them, Naruto realised that there was a gem embedded in the handle.
"Ruby." Sasuke supplied, anticipating Naruto's question as to which stone it was. "I got them made custom by an old friend of my clan. The stone is set in the shape of a spiral to mimic your symbol." He explained.
Naruto was completely taken aback.
"These must have cost a fortune – are those – are those engravings on the handles?" He frowned slightly as he squinted in the dim light to read whatever was written.
"The kanji for speed, strength and love. One on each kunai." Sasuke elaborated, voice quiet and steady.
"Wow… Sasuke, I don't know what to say. They're beautiful – no, gorgeous. Thank you, so much."
Sasuke noticeably relaxed, his anxiety regarding whether or not Naruto would like or accept his gift visibly dissipating.
"I'm just glad you like them." He smiled his small, sweet smile again, revelling in the waves of contentment that Naruto was emitting.
"Thank you, so much," The blond whispered again, feeling Sasuke's hand come up to stroke his back gently. "They must have cost a fortune."
"Anything is worth that smile on your face now." Sasuke murmured, chuckling a little at how Naruto's smile widened at this answer. Pulling the younger boy closer, Sasuke placed his lips at his ear. "I think, Naruto Uzumaki, that I might love you."
The words sent a shiver down Naruto's spine, a pleasant tingling that spread all through his chest and down to his toes. A small part of him argued that it was too fast but the fierce emotions spinning through his heart overrode that argument. It couldn't be too fast for this when they felt so close and connected to each other.
"That's good, Sasuke Uchiha, because I think that I might love you too."
Squeezing him a little tighter at this, Sasuke smiled against the skin of his cheek. "I'm glad to hear it."
"I just feel bad that I didn't get you anything in return… These are so beautiful." Naruto remembered, brushing his fingertips over the expensive kunai, relishing in the outstanding quality and the emotions they represented.
"There's nothing I want," Sasuke hummed, resting his chin atop Naruto's spiky hair in an almost uncharacteristically casual gesture. "Except you."
It was like a scene straight out of a dream. Naruto didn't know how it had happened but he had started the day alone and now, just an hour or so before midnight, he was standing with a boy who had suddenly become his most important person and he the same for him. With a happy, relaxed and pleased smile, he playfully pushed against Sasuke's chest.
"That was cheesy, teme but you know…" He pressed a soft kiss to the Uchiha's lips. "You already have me."
URGH. That's all I have to say to that. ;) Haha, well, I finally rewrote this, got rid of some of the awfully cliché stuff whilst trying to keep some of that… romance… that made it popular before. I've finally corrected the grammar, hopefully made it a little more interesting and also padded it out a bit so that it's actually worth reading. In addition to this, the characters are hopefully more realistic and true to their original canon selves.
Thank you for reading, you beautiful, lovely people.