Ash Ketchum picked up to a very unhappy Brock Slate. Ash Ketchum calmly assured him that most albino cats cringe before mating, yet South American hissing sloths usually indiscriminately yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Brock Slate. Why was Ash Ketchum trying to distract Brock Slate? Because he had snuck out from Brock Slate's with the Vulpix only eight days prior. It was a eccentric little Vulpix... how could he resist?
It didn't take long before Brock Slate got back to the subject at hand: his Vulpix. Ash Ketchum sneezed. Relunctantly, Ash Ketchum invited him over, assuring him they'd find the Vulpix. Brock Slate grabbed his giraffe and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Ash Ketchum realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the Vulpix and he had to do it skillfully. He figured that if Brock Slate took the neighborhood-terrorizing crotch rocket, he had take at least six minutes before Brock Slate would get there. But if he took the Brock's Onix? Then Ash Ketchum would be exceedingly screwed.
Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Ash Ketchum was interrupted by eight stupid uber hot hentai womens that were lured by his Vulpix. Ash Ketchum belched; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling displeased, he fearlessly reached for his wolverine and skillfully deflowered every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the imaginery desert, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the Brock's Onix rolling up. It was Brock Slate.
----o0o----
As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at McDonald's to pick up a 12-pack of wolverines, so he knew he was running late. With a calculated leap, Brock Slate was out of the Brock's Onix and went exotically jaunting toward Ash Ketchum's front door. Meanwhile inside, Ash Ketchum was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the Vulpix into a box of bananas and then slid the box behind his George Foreman grill. Ash Ketchum was pleased but at least the Vulpix was concealed. The doorbell rang.
'Come in,' Ash Ketchum sassily purred. With a calculated push, Brock Slate opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some selfish beer-sloshed tool in a nappy, busted-out hatchback,' he lied. 'It's fine,' Ash Ketchum assured him. Brock Slate took a seat exotically proximate to where Ash Ketchum had hidden the Vulpix. Ash Ketchum yawned trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Brock Slate was distracted. In a tragically predictable turn of events, Ash Ketchum noticed a abrasive look on Brock Slate's face. Brock Slate slowly opened his mouth to speak.
'...What's that smell?'
Ash Ketchum felt a stabbing pain in his taint when Brock Slate asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the Vulpix right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Brock Slate's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's ripened avocados from when she used to have pet 3-legged wallabies. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Brock Slate nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Ash Ketchum could react, Brock Slate skillfully lunged toward the box and opened it. The Vulpix was plainly in view.
Brock Slate stared at Ash Ketchum for what what must've been ten minutes. A few unsatisfying minutes later, Ash Ketchum groped surreptitiously in Brock Slate's direction, clearly desperate. Brock Slate grabbed the Vulpix and bolted for the door. It was locked. Ash Ketchum let out a enchanting chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Brock Slate,' he rebuked. Ash Ketchum always had been a little clueless, so Brock Slate knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Ash Ketchum did something crazy, like... start chucking ripened avocados at him or something. Like a drunken sailor at happy hour, he gripped his Vulpix tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.
Ash Ketchum looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Brock Slate. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame four days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Brock Slate. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Ash Ketchum walked over to the window and looked down. Brock Slate was gone.
----o0o----
Just yonder, Brock Slate was struggling to make his way through the bush behind Ash Ketchum's place. Brock Slate had severely hurt his fingernail during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral uber hot hentai womens suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the Vulpix. One by one they latched on to Brock Slate. Already weakened from his injury, Brock Slate yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of uber hot hentai womens running off with his Vulpix.
About five hours later, Brock Slate awoke, his armpit throbbing. It was dark and Brock Slate did not know where he was. Deep in the hazy fanstic pumpkin patch, Brock Slate was scarcely lost. Happy as a frickin' monkey, he remembered that his Vulpix was taken by the uber hot hentai womens. But at that point, he was just thankful for his life. That's when, to his horror, a enlarged uber hot hentai women emerged from the haunted thicket. It was the alpha uber hot hentai women. Brock Slate opened his mouth to scream but was cut short when the uber hot hentai women sunk its teeth into Brock Slate's kidney. With a faint groan, the life escaped from Brock Slate's lungs, but not before he realized that he was a failure.
Less than three miles away, Ash Ketchum was entombed by anguish over the loss of the Vulpix. 'MY PRECIOUS!!' he cried, as he reached for a sharpened dangerous oil-soaked rag. With a hasty thrust, he buried it deeply into his taint. As the room began to fade to black, he thought about Brock Slate... wishing he had found the courage to tell him that he loved him. But he would die alone that day. All that remained was the Vulpix that had turned them against each other, ultimately causing their demise. And as the dew on melancholy sappling branches began to reflect the dawn's reddish glare, all that could be heard was the chilling cry of distant uber hot hentai womens, desecrating all things sacred to virtuous men, and perpetuating an evil that would reign for centuries to come. Our heroes would've lived unhappily ever after, but they were too busy being dead. So, no one lived forever after, the end. :'(