The original show can be watched at youtube and ABC has the more lighthearted remake. They are both good. For an explanation how Cupid switched hosts see, "Cupid 1.0 to 2.0 The Transfer." Write me if you want to know where two unaired scripts of the original series are at on the net.

Cupid Gets His Friends

To Doubt their Doubt.

By

Elizabeth Hensley 8-)

Felix brought the rather long package up the stairs and found his Roommate, best Barkeep, Friend, Mental Patient and fallen Greco-Roman god of love watching Lassie, tears streaming down his face.

Gently he reassured his friend, "It will be OK Trevor I promise! Lassie WILL save Timmy from this horrible situation!"

Cupid was amazed, 'How do you KNOW? You haven't even been watching it! Do you have omnipresence you haven't told me about?"

Felix tried not to smile and failed. Instead he changed the subject. "UPS just dropped off this rather long package. I hope you will open it in front of me. Curiosity killed the Cat."

Cupid shook his head, "curiosity didn't kill the Cat. Ignorance killed the Cat. Curiosity was framed."

The Mental Patient got up, went to the kitchen and came back with a long, sharp knife.

Felix didn't even blink. Trevor thought he was Cupid not Norman Bates."

With steady, practiced hands Trevor slit the package open and attempted to dump most of the plastic peanuts in the trashcan.

He didn't succeed of course. There are limits to what even a god can do. He exclaimed exasperated as he bent down to pick up every single, little, irritating bit of plastic, "I will be very glad when your Mortals invent a greener, less irritating method of packaging!"

Felix nodded and thought to himself; even a crazy person can see that.

Cupid continued, "And while we are at it, whose idea was it to call a package delivery business anything that can be pronounced 'Oops?'"

Felix laughed.

Cupid finished picking up the packing peanuts and reached in and pulled out the contents of the box.

It was a bow and several arrows.

Felix's eyes widened. Hopefully 'Cupid's' delusion wasn't getting worse! He asked, "Ah, Trevor you don't think those are…?"

Trevor shook his head, "Oh no! You can buy the most amazing stuff on eBay. I heard on the radio someone even sold an ordinary Citizen a hard drive that had missile launch codes on it; just the thing to get your Sweetie! But no, even eBay has its limits. This is just an ordinary bow and arrows, except they are a particular kind of wooden arrows which aren't considered ordinary these days. I had to hunt high and low, even a googling to find those. I finally found a small business in Michigan that still makes and sells them. Long live Native Americans!"

Felix felt considerable relief his slightly cracked friend didn't think he could now shoot people into love again. But also extreme curiosity, 'Why did you need a bow with a particular kind of wooden arrows?"

Trevor smiled, "Tomorrow at nine before the bar opens I want your Sister and you and my most annoyingly, skeptical, beautiful Shrink to join me in Central Park at the archery targets. I am about to give you Mortals a 'Trevor Pierce may not be such a nut case after all' demonstration!'

Felix felt amazement. He had a feeling tomorrow was either going to be a very puzzling day or they'd spend it trying to shore up Trevor's self esteem and Claire would spend it using it as an opportunity to bring Trevor, "back to reality." Mentally Felix erased his original plans. It was all too obvious his best Barkeep wasn't going to be up to tending bar! He sighed. The only reason Tres Equis wasn't out of business due to 9/11was because of all the publicity Trevor had brought them with his zany publicity stunts and spectacular arrangements of nightly specials, karaoke contests, parties, contests, sing-alongs, fancy bottle juggling, dart throwing demonstrations and pure fun. But Trevor was a whole lot better at attracting business than taking care of it when it came. Apparently even the gods weren't perfect!"

Hopefully Claire wouldn't be too hard on him. Darn it! Making 'Cupid' sane again wouldn't be good for business! Trevor Pierce was so much more useful to the bar and a whole lot more fun as a happy, cheerful, self confident love god than he would be as a demoralized, lonely, familyless Mental Patient who suddenly realized he was just as mortal as anyone else!"

Sometimes Felix wondered if Trevor Pierce wasn't the wisest and sanest person he knew. No one else he knew had the courage to charge at the windmills of sad reality full speed ahead and emerge victorious! Out of the pieces of what must have been a tragedy beyond ken, "Cupid" had managed to create his own magical Universe and he had the persuasive power and charm to make other People believe in it. Whatever had happened to Trevor Pierce would have finished most folks but not Trevor! Instead this gentle, wise, sensitive soul had carefully picked up the broken shards of his shattered life and made a stained glass window deity that allowed colorful light in and protected his mind from the elements just as well as an ordinary, clear glass window. Trevor was delightfully happy! Trevor could function better than most People! But the mental health care system wanted to destroy this work of art! Felix sighed and prepared for an early bedtime. They were going to need all the sleep they could get to cope with their friend's coming heartache.

Bright and early in spring in New York City in Central Park!

Even that early folks were out practicing archery. Cupid had thought he would get there early enough to secure himself a target but he had failed to consider the fact most People's work hours don't last from 4 PM to Midnight. Every target had its shooters already. In fact there was a waiting line!

It didn't matter that Felix, and Lita were late. It did sort of matter that Claire was late but what did it matter since he had nothing to shoot at anyway?

Claire finally did arrive her face a study in bemusement and irritation. "Trevor what could possibly posses you to 'desperately need my professional services in the middle of spring in the park near the archers?' This was supposed to be my day off! You woke me up! I was having the most wonderful dream! Even you ought to be capable of enjoying even a Mortal's life on such a fine day without needing the 'emotional support of a professional Therapist!'

Then she realized her Patient who thought he was Cupid had a real set of bow and arrows and she shut up the scolding fast. Her professional red flags were flying high! This could get very, very bad!"

She didn't' say anything more. She watched Trevor closely, letting him take the lead in wherever his tragic mental journey was now taking him. But she kept her hands on her cell phone like a gunslinger hovering his hands near his holster, just in case she had to dial 911 quickly!

But Trevor's mental journey wasn't taking him anywhere immediately. Claire felt some relief when it dawned on her his current goal at least was to shoot at the archery targets not People. But for all she knew her 'Cupid' might just be practicing for later. She didn't relish having to defend Trevor on an insanity defense because he suddenly started shooting People with arrows thinking he could make them fall in love!

But for the time being her Patient was sitting down calmly waiting his turn for the harmless targets, acting perfectly normal as most of the time he did.

She sat down next to him, being quiet. That amazed Cupid.

"Not saying much this morning all of a sudden?"

Claire shook her head grimly, "I just want to see what you are up to. I'm worried."

Cupid gave her a sympathetic look, "'bout what?"

"You."

"Me!" Cupid was a bit surprised and puzzled. He cocked his head and asked gently "Why?"

Claire gave him a very concerned look. "My Patient who thinks he can shoot People and make them fall in love now has a real bow and arrows with REALLY sharp points on them! Up to now you have been harmless at least physically. Is this about to change?'

Cupid laughed, "Oh is that all? Relax. I know full well this is just an ordinary set of bow and arrows, not my magic bow and arrows. I know very well if I shoot People with these they'd be hurt or killed." He gestured, "I just want to shoot at those harmless targets and show everyone just how good I can do it."

Claire's face said all that needed to be said. She took her hands off her cell phone and relaxed. It was a beautiful spring day after all!

It took over an hour but finally Cupid got his turn. He didn't have a quiver so he set his pile of arrows on the ground next to him. With practiced motions as if he had done it many times before, Cupid grabbed an arrow, notched the bow, pulled back and fired at the target.

It didn't hit the bull's eye. Cupid was a little embarrassed. "Wind.' He exclaimed. He bent down picked up another arrow but waited for a lull in the breeze. It came. He fired and it hit the bull's eye.

Claire begrudgingly gave him a nod, 'OK. You can hit the bull's eye. Good shooting, Trevor! But look around you, 'Cupid." Twenty five other perfectly ordinary Mortals just did the same thing.''

Cupid didn't even lose an ounce of self-confidence. Instead he picked up another arrow, notched it and waited for another lull in the wind. He waited and he waited.

He sighed. "You want me to keep a dream journal. It is so weird but I keep having these dreams I am living in the Windy City instead of the Big Apple and your hair is black and I work at an Irish bar instead of a Mexican cantina."

Claire said, "Write them down, Trevor. This isn't Chicago. The wind will lift."

It finally did.

Cupid pulled back his bowstring and fired.

The arrow hit the other one dead center and split the shaft all the way down!

He quickly bent down, picked up another arrow and fired.

The third arrow hit the shaft of the second arrow and split it all the way down the shaft!

Felix whooped with delight! And even Lita smiled. Claire had mixed emotions. Darn it Trevor was good! But she saw her chance to use this as a reality check flying away faster than the arrows.

By now some of the other Archers had noticed. Cupid started gathering a small crowd. It kept growing as he kept firing arrows during the lulls in the wind.

Now that he was waiting for the wind to lull there were no more misfired arrows. Every single one of them, 17 more in all hit the shaft of the preceding arrow and split them all the way down.

Cupid ran out of arrows, handed the bow to the nearest watcher and turned around and left without a word. Claire and Felix and Lita trailed after him.

Claire asked gently, "You don't even want the bow any more?'

Cupid shook his head. "No. Number I've had better. And I don't even mean magic bows either. I had a bunch of practice bows I used. Every single one of them was better than this one even though they were Mortal designed and built too. I guess when folks had to bring home food to the dinner table with their bows they cared more about the quality.

"Number two by getting rid of the bow I relieve my beautiful, beloved Psychiatrist's anxiety. She won't be having nightmares that her 'severely delusional Patient' suddenly goes off the deep end, acquires more arrows and starts shooting People with them.'" He smiled at Claire.

She gave him an embarrassed grin and nodded. 'Touché Trevor! And thanks!"

"And number three I am not going to be turned into a side show freak. You saw me do it. You now KNOW I can do it and I'm not going to have People calling their friends up and saying, 'lets meet in the park and watch the crazy god-deluded nutcase do his trick.' Draw your own conclusions because I only did this once and you did see me do it."

Claire said, 'you know Trevor what you just did is very impressive, but it doesn't prove anything either. Robin Hood could shoot like that."

Cupid grinned, 'He was close! Get me a little drunk he could have beat me, but only with me drunk.'

Claire sighed, "I suppose you and him tried this?"

Cupid shook his head, 'No actually we didn't. Robin Hood had problems enough without me breaking his self-confidence and vision of what he truly was. Gee I know the feeling! My Shrink keeps trying to do that to me! Robin Hood thought he was the best Archer in the world and he was. It is just I am not of this world."

Under her breath Claire said 'you and Jesus Christ!'

As they walked back to the subway they suddenly heard the sound of a Blue Jay in a great deal of distress. The reason soon became apparent. A Baby Bird had fallen out of its nest and was lying next to the path.

Many Baby Birds leave the nest before they can actually fly but this one was clearly not ready for that. It wasn't just a Fledgling it was a naked Fledgling and Mama Blue Jay was frantic.

Trevor bent down and picked up the little bird, "Poor Little Gal.'' He said.

Claire asked, "How can you tell she's a Female?"

Cupid sighed, "I can't explain. I just know." He looked upwards. "Whoa! That nest is really way up there!"

Claire gazed upwards, "Your god-skills don't include Monkey business?'

Cupid laughed, "My 'I was a little Kid for a very, very long time skills,' did, but I'm not a little Kid anymore."

Lita said, "I'm the best tree climber because I am lighter than the rest of you. Let me do it.'

Cupid nodded.

Felix gave his sister a boost up the tree. Trevor handed up the little Bird and they all stood around holding their breaths while Lita climbed upwards.

Claire asked, "Won't the scent of Humans on Little Gal scare the mother off?"

Felix and Trevor shook their heads. Felix said, "that is a myth.'

Cupid frowned, "No it's not a myth. Myths are facts. It is just incorrect. Mother Birds are smart enough to recognize their own offspring visually not just by scent. Plus notice Mama is watching our every move. She never lost sight of her Baby for one split second and she knows exactly who it is Lita has in her hands."

Lita reached the nest, put Little Gal back in and started the long climb down.

She made it.

The four friends went back to the subway.

That evening Claire worked on her book about Trevor.

The search for Cupid

Chapter Three.

Not Of This World.

Trevor Pierce is a mixture of madness and common sense. Despite his delusions he knows his limitations. When faced with the need to climb a tree to save a little Bird he had the sense to know he wasn't the best "Mortal" for the job. He consented with out one split second of delusions of god-hood or even machismo to letting a lighter, female "Mortal' do it. Common sense is one quality that is keeping Trevor out of the hospital. The other qualities keeping him wild and free are the ability to hold in his anger, his considerable skills and competence and his cheerful love of Humanity.

"But it deeply concerns me how much time and effort he has put into honing his 'god skills.' That amount of time and effort more productively spent could have made Trevor Pierce rich and famous in many different areas right here in this. "Mortal Realm." Today I witnessed what should have been an impossible feat of archery! His delusion is a tragedy. He makes a fair living as a Barkeep but he could be making millions as some kind of Athlete. Hitting a target with an arrow must take the same amount of skills and practice as hitting a ball into a golf hole or lopping a tennis ball across a net. For that matter even professional Archers must make big tournament money. He could even have been in the Olympics, ironic since he thinks he is from Olympus. But sometimes our Patients know their limits. Perhaps choosing merely to be a Barkeep might have cost Trevor Pierce millions but the life of a professional Athlete wouldn't have provided him with the healing social milieu provided by working as a Barkeep surrounded by a constant, familiar, comforting group of familiar Friends, Customers and Pseudo-Family. Like all of us Trevor Pierce has made choices in his life that required sacrificing his ability to fulfill other choices. And I can't completely fault his choices. If they were not made rationally they at least were made with a good sense of knowing his internal, deep emotional needs. Many of us would do well to choose as wisely and live life as grandly as this so called Lunatic. He claims to be 'not of this world." Two thousand years ago another 'Mad Man;' made this exact same claim, and because of his claims and refusal to back down to a duller, crueler reality we live today in a kinder, gentler, wiser world with no end in sight to His further, future influence. I know my 'lesser god" will not have as great an impact on the future as Jesus Christ. But uniting one hundred couples in True Love certainly will have some kind of permanent, positive impact! But it is not Trevor's match making or his incredible skills with arrows and darts or his wise and pithy sayings that come the closest to making Trevor Pierce exactly what it he wants to be; a divine being."

Claire had to stop for a few seconds. She realized she was crying. She wiped her face and continued, "It is his incredible Christ-like love for all Life in the Universe from Baby Birds to Psychiatrists!"

Claire stopped and thought about that for a very long time.

Then she continued typing, "Let us all take a lesson in living from where ever and whoever it can be gleaned however mad the source. "'Go thee and do likewise!'"

Claire thought for a while. Then she added.

"Maybe we should all be as wise as Trevor. Inside of us all may be the ability to choose to be a god or divine madman or both. Obviously few chose in life to enter this most narrow gate of all. My Trevor may be one of two.

"'Not even a Sparrow falls apart from the Father' said Jesus. Apparently not even a blue jay falls without aid if Cupid has his way. What my lesser god lacks in powers he makes up in the same tenacious desire Christ has for love to triumph over all.

"And maybe with a little help from Science, it will!

"I learned in physics class that due to General Relativity time and space are bent around any sufficiently heavy gravitational mass including the Universe itself. Our grand future is our mysterious past so the past is reachable. What will happen in ten to fifteen billion years? Surely Humanity's thirst for immortality will not die in this generation or in the billions to come! Due to self-fulfilling prophecy we built Jules Verne's impossible Submarine Nautilus and his Moon ship Columbia. We build the International space station. We have robots rolling around on Mars and vacuuming carpets on Earth and we have cell phones and communication satellites. All these things started out as mere dreams some by very mad People. But it is not merely madman like my devout Trekker; Trevor who predict there will most likely be real Star ship Enterprises someday, most likely an ever progressing, endless stream of them as the generations pass. But even more than we desire space travel we tenacious Humans desire Immortality. John's cube mentioned in the last two chapters of Revelation may be built for the same reason we build all these other scientific miracles; because we want to. And while we are at it why not use General Relativity to go back and upload everybody including the Galilee Carpenter and give Him His well deserved Kingdom? It is highly likely Science will fulfill faith instead of destroying it.

'I may be typing and my Readers may be reading on the progenitor of Heaven.

'What will happen to my Olympian misfit in the Heaven that future Science will build? Is there room there for my lesser god?

The Ten Commandments say, "Thou shalt not have any god before me."

"But Psalm 138:1 says, "I will praise You oh Lord among the gods.' So there are some lesser gods and they will listen as the Big Guy is praised, hopefully happily.

How could two beings so similar in goals and love refuse each other's simple friendship? Both have been driven mad by broken hearts at the cruelly at the Universe, one to the cross to teach us forgiveness, the other to unite one hundred couples in true love. One was a Carpenter whose first miracle was providing wine for a wedding. Mine is a Barkeep who provides wine and other beverages all the time but is all thumbs at carpentry. I know because I watched him try to fix my door.

"'Blessed is he who takes no offense at me.' Cupid is never offended by another loving soul.

What will be my madman's legacy? Other ways do succeed but statistically there is no more successful way to raise happy, mentally healthy Children than to a Man and a Woman who love one another and stay faithful. How many such Children would one hundred couples produce and then the Children of those Children and then the Children of those Children for umpteen generations? This divine Madman may have an impact upon Humanity greater than many Politicians, Authors, Scientists, Doctors and Clergymen. I predict the day when "Cupid's Kids" will change our World in ways unimaginable but almost always for the better.

His own childhood was horrendous, a fact he fully admits despite disguising it as an epic tale of Greco Roman gods thundering about a magical Mount Olympus. But no one works harder than Cupid to see to it no other Child has a similar childhood. For his was the nightmare of never knowing who he was, a nightmare made even worse now by his current hysterical amnesia and confabulations of godhood. Has his never knowing become his comforting norm and something to be deliberately made worse instead of lessened? My little Cupid spent hours wondering if he was the Son of Mars the stern but loving war god who found his gentle son a tremendous disappointment and that on top of his valid suspicions the Child was not even his. Or was my Patient the offspring of happy-go-lucky-Mercury the messenger god? Offspring of a Soldier often gone or the Postman always there? This confusion must have harmed his psyche in ways we cannot fathom. Cupid takes more after mischievous Mercury. The truth is all too obvious even to me."

Claire stopped typing for a minute. A look of puzzlement and amazement crossed her face. She sat silently a good long while, then continued typing.

A thought has come to me. What if there WAS no tragic love affair that set 'Cupid' over the edge just as Trevor Pierce has always insisted? Maybe it was merely his mother's unfaithfulness. For I have never known him to deliberately lie to me! Many of his confabulations seem based on kernels of truth. What if his deep need to unite one hundred couples in permanent monogamy springs solely from his lonely, confused, unwanted childhood? In some way as many Children do he blames him self for his Parent's behavior. Hence the 'punishment' of having to "relearn his craft.' His unwantedness is the worst kind of unwantedness for it came in the later years of his childhood. Before it became obvious Cupid would never follow in his war-god father's footsteps he had been wanted and very much so. Thus Cupid cannot comfort himself with the fantasy his father would have rejected any Child. Even his delusions do not even attempt to hide this terrible fact. That is the worst kind of rejection of all, to have once been wanted by a Parent very much at one time and then thrown away because one was not deemed good enough! Weaker Men and Woman faced with so horrible a fact have destroyed their minds in ways far worse than confabulating fantasies of minor godhood. It is a miracle he is as stable as he is!

Has the real reason for his madness been hidden in plain site all along, not deliberately hidden by my mostly cooperative Patient who does his best to tell me the truth, but by his Therapist's own romantic fantasies?