She had failed once again.
The blood of a friend was on her hands once more.
Relatively speaking... It was just one more drop in the bucket. Relatively speaking, this was nothing. Relatively speaking, even saying it was a drop might have been giving it too much credit. She had lost count of how many times it had been now. She didn't know how many more tries she would have, and at the moment, she didn't really care. All she knew in this moment that she had failed yet again. She couldn't always look at it relatively. Not always.
She had failed her friends.
She had failed this friend.
Part of her, a horrible, dark part of her, noted that if she abandoned just two people — just two, not that many — then it would be okay. It was still possible. All she had to do was forget about them... If she could just forget about these two and save the rest, then... Then maybe...
Furude Rika silenced those thoughts.
She wouldn't abandon anyone. She couldn't. It was simply not an option. She had already lost someone this time because that person refused to abandon her friends... even when that friend, in the state they were in now, was as good as gone from this world already. Even so, Rika's friend had still tried. She had tried and she had been betrayed. What sort of person would she be if Rika abandoned her in turn?
Such belief had cost the girl her life... all because Rika continued to fail.
How many more times would she fail before this would stop?
How many more times would her friends die before they could live?
She shook her head.
Numbers and images circled her, like predatory crows ready to feast on her innards, but her mind was not present enough for them to be able to feast on her spirit as they so desperately wished to. The crows would likely have their way with her soon enough anyway. They could wait their turn.
She closed her eyes and placed her hand on the body beside her... It was still warm. It wouldn't be for long.
She had been too late.
Sonozaki Mion was dead.
She had been first this time. An anomaly. Rika suspected that after this, her own time would probably be coming soon enough. It was inevitable.
She could accept her own death. It was simply the doorway to the next roll of the dice. This death, however... Like any other of her friends', it bothered her.
Mion was strange. Certainly, she was strange in that she was seemingly a tremendous pervert who enjoyed dressing up her friends like dolls, but Rika knew better than to judge by that alone — and if she were to judge by simply that, then their whole group was strange... No, Mion was strange for a different reason. At times, Rika considered the young woman a child and a fool. At others, Rika considered her a shameless masochist. At others still, however, she was nothing short of inspiration — before Keiichi had come, Mion had been the closest thing to hope Rika had ever known, and even she had had her flaws.
The girl kept a locker full of things for play at school, but she herself was like a walking locker — a walking locker of masks. Having known her growing up, and having witnessed her through so many summers now, Rika could tell. They were all her. Every one of the girl's masks was Sonozaki Mion. Sonozaki heiress, gentle schoolgirl, cunning game player, Sonozaki Shion impersonator, and more... They were all her. None of them were lies. She managed all of these lives and did so without complaint.
It was so... peculiar to Rika. Mion had just as much, no, she had perhaps even more reason to break down than her other friends, yet she was the one who did so the least. She was the one who would oft die trying to appeal to friends, even when hope for that friend should so clearly have been lost.
A familiar voice called to Rika. It asked if she was okay. It was the crying voice of the god.
The girl looked down at the green haired young woman, a somber expression on her face.
No, she wasn't okay. She would never be okay in a world in which Sonozaki Mion was killed by the very cherished friends she so desperately wanted to save.
But she would be.
Someday, when she found the world where such things were as impossible as Rika believed in her heart that they should have been all along...
Then she would be okay.