Disclaimer: Red vs Blue and related characters are the property of Rooster Teeth.
Warnings: Language, Canon-typical violence, Past character death
Rating: T
Synopsis: [Post Season13] In the days after saving Charon, the simulation troopers of Project Freelancer are heroes, given everything that the small planet can afford to give its saviors. But with morale low, Donut decides the one thing Red Team really needs is a good old fashioned roadtrip to remind them what makes them great again. Shenanigans ensue.
A/N: I have lately felt like I neglect giving focus to the Red Team way too much, which is an unfortunate thing to be said of someone who adamantly declares themselves neutral purple in the ongoing war of Red vs. Blue. So I knew that for my next tale I just HAD to pick the story I'd concocted about the adventures of Donut and his heralding attempts to boost Red Team morale in the time after Season 13.
Dedicated to secretlystephaniebrown for being the Red Team champion of our chat groups!
Glory to the Red Army
Log One
It was over nine square kilometers according to the map in Donut's hands.
And while war and terror for over a decade had kept most of Chorus far from descriptions like green and luscious, there was a beauty to the landscape that the youngest Red personally felt couldn't be beat.
The rock facings alone were unique and full of the sort of gravitas in decorating that Donut very much appreciated.
And more than that, Donut was just pleased to know that it was theirs.
After what Hargrove and Charon Industries had done to the planet and its people, they didn't have much in the way of assets to repay their heroes. But god did they want to.
Just a year before, after the stated victory against Charon, when the Reds and Blues survived by the near literal skin of their teeth, Donut would have loudly claimed they didn't need physical gifts for their sacrifices.
He wasn't so gung ho on the subject now.
There was a humbleness missing after a year of watching the Blues withdraw back to their ranks and share in mourning Church. After seeing Donut's own team slowly grow tired and irritated with themselves, like the losses they suffered in esteem and character only revealed themselves over time with Simmons less prone to accepting order and Grif for some reason surprised and upset by Chorus soldiers not paying him mind. Or Lopez continuously trying to reactivate the Charon ship's mainframe.
Or Sarge most of all, constantly proclaiming his disappointment at barely recognizing his own team anymore.
For those things, Donut found they deserved something. He just hadn't been sure what.
Which was why it was something of a surprise that wile Chorus' remaining population worked itself into a fever, getting ready for a public election for the first time in years, they found the time to give the Reds and Blues a reward of sorts.
Over nine square kilometers of land – the size of a state park, really.
And the map in Donut's hands really wasn't doing it justice.
Which was just the start of his plan – his realization, really, that Red Teamneeded something and he just happened to be the one to realize he could do something about it.
Putting away his map, Donut rushed back to his borrowed ATV and jumped on.
He couldn't wait to tell the guys about his amazing idea!
Reds and Blues generally ate dinner with their own sides. Even if "sides' hadn't been a factor for so long that even Sarge occasionally conversed fondly with Caboose and Tucker.
It was the kind of habit that wasn't understood outside of their groups – even Washington and Carolina struggled to give explanations when they were asked. But there was comfort in the habit, to say the least.
Donut enjoyed being able to sit at the table and look from one side to the other. To feel like they were nestled right back in the canyon.
It was also advantageous for Donut's plans.
He cleared his throat, loudly, and waited for everyone to stop tearing into the fried chicken that Sarge had somehow questionably obtained in the current food shortage.
Again, like old times, they barely glanced his way. Their attention was a lot to ask for in the presence of food.
So Donut waited a moment and tried again.
"No, Donut, we don't care if you're eating salad," Simmons sighed in aggravation.
"And, yes, I will eat your chicken for you. Thanks for offering," Grif continued right after.
"He never asks for that, Grif!" Simmons groaned.
"He might as well," Grif fired back.
From the nearby outlet where he was charging, Lopez shook his head. "Los seres humanos son un asco."
From the head of the table, Sarge held a hand to his chin and grumbled under his breath between bites.
"Actually," Donut sang out, recapturing everyone's attention. "I was thinking we should go on a road trip together."
Everyone grew silent, staring at Donut like he was growing a second head. But even Sarge dropped his hand and perked up.
Then there was a collective breath followed by Grif shaking his head. "Mm. No."
"Yeah. We've road tripped to all three places on this planet," Simmons agreed.
"Everyone shut up!" Sarge ordered. He pointed a drumstick at Donut. "What's this wily plan o' yours, Donut?"
Perked up himself, Donut scooted closer to the table. "Well, Sarge! I'm glad you asked!" he replied readily. "See, today I was checking the perimeters of the lands that Chorus gave us. And it's really cool and stuff. But the map doesn't do it justice. It has variable terrain, difficult access points, and more than a few natural pitfalls we'll have to map for ourselves! So it got me thinking. We've hadso much gloom and doom in the air around us recently, it would totally be great if we had a group team-building kind of thing where we all traveled the perimeter of the lands and made sure we know everything we're in for!"
With every word, Grif and Simmons visibly paled.
"No, no," Grif began. "No no no. Fuck no. I do not agree to this!"
"Donut, we may have been here for a few years now, but it is ridiculous to think we're anywhere close to being prepared for the wilderness," Simmons reasoned.
"We're doing it!" Sarge announced, jumping to his feet and not even flinching as he almost turned over the table.
"What!?" Grif and Simmons cried out in unison.
"I knew you'd love it!" Donut squealed out gleefully.
"Donut, this plan may be the greatest we've ever had from a member of Red Team who wasn't yours truly!" Sarge continued bombastically.
"Oh, gosh, Sarge," Donut blushed.
"I personally vote it as the worst plan," Grif grimaced.
"Which i why you will be helping Lopez load the Warthog tonight, dirtbag!" Sarge ordered, a crazed spark back in his eyes.
"Estupendo," Lopez all but groaned. "Lo cual significa que el robot será embalaje por sí solos. Gran sorpresa."
"Simmons, make a sign to put on our door while we're gone. An intimidating one! One not even a dirty Blue would cross to infiltrate our premises!" Sarge continued to order. "And, Donut! Son, grab your map after you finish your very manly meal of cranberry salad and meet me in my office!"
They all watched as Sarge charged out of the dining room.
"Wow. I haven't heard Sarge call someone 'dirtbag' in forever," Simmons realized out loud.
"Yeah, I was real torn up about missing my pet name!" Grif snarked before pointing a greasy finger Donut's way. "By the way, Donut? I fucking hate you."
"In a loving way!" Donut interpreted. He then simply smiled and finished his salad.
The trip was going to be great.