Unfortunate Coincidences vs Awful Tricks of Fate
Why Will really hired Brian – my spin on it. Spoilers for episode 10. This just popped into my head.
I swear I'm actually turning into a Newsroom fanfic robot. If it starts to get old then please tell me! I feel like I'm starting to spam you all :p
Usual disclaimer: these wonderful characters are not mine, sadly.
Will rolled his eyes. "You can't just start to say something and then –"
"Yeah, I know." Mackenzie flustered, turning to leave the room once more. Will gave a last look to Leona, and turned to Reese before following Mac out the door, when for a split second their eyes met.
Reese's gaze had been following Mackenzie out the door and now flickered up to meet Will's. There was a sarcastic, mirthless smirk on his face – the trademark of a sore loser. Will's eyes narrowed before he left.
Shit. Reese knew exactly what he had said on that voicemail message.
He had heard it, and Mackenzie hadn't.
Will had been trying to not think about this disturbing revelation since it had emerged at the hospital a few days before. Poor, poor, Mac. The shit he had put her through. All because Reese fucking Lansing and his TMI bimbo had decided to barge into their lives illegally.
He had thought that she had never mentioned the voicemail to him for the obvious reason – the reason he had told her to not mention it: because she didn't love him anymore. But now – now he knew it was because she had no idea that he still loved her. And now she wouldn't find out because Nina and Reese had the voicemail.
Part of him was glad, because he was scared that she would have rejected him – the truth which he thought he had been living for the last few weeks! And another part of him was cautiously happy. Now there was hope. Or at least more hop than there had been: there was still a chance for them.
And that was where the other part of him reared its ugly head. Because why should Mac love him now? After all the crap he had already put her through, even before – he mentally slapped himself as the name came into his head – Brian Brenner.
He had lied to Mac. Another in a series of lies, he supposed.
He had told her that he had brought Brian in because of Camelot. He was the only one in the world who could fool her like that – and she, him. But she had believed it.
What would she say if she ever found out the truth? If she did still love him now, he wouldn't blame her if she stopped there and then. He could see her now, waiting at the elevators with Charlie, chatting happily; the warm glow of victory emanating from her.
He closed his eyes and swore under his breath.
The truth was that after Valentine's Day, after they had really started to get over the teething problems they'd been having during their first year, it had really looked as though they were moving forward, healing. And this had excited him. He had begun to hope – and then – well. Then.
He had been stupid and gotten high, and spilled his heart to her on a drugged version of a drunken call. He had left himself open and vulnerable, and had spent the next few sleepless hours terrified of what she would answer – or more terrifyingly still, unsure if she would answer. He had laid down the rules. He would only get an answer if she felt the same way.
For reasons passing understanding, Will had allowed himself to imagine what would happen if she called him back, or came to see him later that day at work, or even popped over to his flat in the evening. He decided he would leave it for a few days – it was a bit of a bombshell after all. She might not know how to take it.
But after a week had passed he got the message. She wasn't interested. And all credit to her, she was keeping her end of the bargain magnificently. And a tiny bit of him was grateful for that. The rest of him, however, felt betrayed all over again. Maybe he had been imagining their growing friendship, but he didn't think so. She was indeed acting normally, but normal Mac was teasy, flirty, drive-him-crazy-whilst-making-him-work Mac!
So he figured that she was just getting back at him in her own little way for making her look like an idiot, or making up for all the times he had guilt-tripped her. So he had decided to get even again. He had phoned Brian.
Urgh. She would absolutely never forgive him. She shouldn't!
Yes, she had broken his heart; but he was punching back again and again – when would he stop? It was low, it was dirty; and what was all the more stupid was that Dr Habib was right! Having Brian there hurt him as much as it hurt Mac.
But he had been so, so wrong. She had never gotten the message. There had been no reason to take any revenge. She had been totally innocent. This time.
He had arrived at the elevator. Noticing his silence, Mac and Charlie seemed happy to oblige and so as the three of them stepped into the life, it seemed to both of them that it was merely companionable silence. Little did they know that there was a war going on inside Will.
Should he come clean? He had already – not quite apologised, but – he had acknowledged that hiring Brian had been a dirty stunt. Was it worth bringing all that up again? Particularly when she knew that Brian was currently public enemy number one to him? And she had just gotten him out of her own life too…
As he stared at the beech wood panel in front of him, all too aware of Mackenzie's warm arm resting next to his, a conversation they had once had came back to him.
Can I ask you something?
Ask anything!
Why did you tell me?
Because I wouldn't have been able to live with myself!
But now I have to live with it!
You would rather I had been dishonest?
I – yes! Yes. I would much rather…you hadn't told me.
He cursed under his breath again – this time he could feel his companions' gazes turn to him, but he kept his gaze fixed dead ahead so that they wouldn't question him.
Damnit. Should he tell her then? Would she rather not know, just as he would have preferred not to know?
He was conflicted, confused – he had no idea what the best thing to do was. Basic morals told him that the right thing to do would be to tell her – to be honest. But this was Mac. Mackenzie. Whom he loved more than anyone else in the world. He didn't want to hurt her anymore. They had both hurt each other enough, surely?
As the left doors opened, she gave his arm a quick squeeze and offered a small, comforting smile before nodding to Charlie and going to join the group that was gathered around Neal's desk discussing the broadcast.
He and Charlie had stepped out, but that was all. Will was simply staring after Mackenzie, wondering what on earth to do; completely unaware that Charlie was staring directly at him.
Growing impatient, Charlie slapped a hand on the wooden panel next to the elevator buttons. This snapped Will out of his reverie, as he jerkily turn to look at the boss who was the closest thing to a father he knew. Charlie looked worried.
"What on earth has that poor girl done to you now?" He jerked his head in the direction Mackenzie had left in.
That was when he knew he couldn't tell her. They were even by now, surely. They needed a fresh start. They needed to learn to trust each other.
To be a team again.
His eyes were stinging and he blinked, trying to find his voice.
"Absolutely nothing."
Let me know what you think, you lovely bunch :) x