The World's Greatest Criminal Mind
Summary: A pre-movie oneshot with a song you'll never guess
This is what happens when I come home for the holidays and watch too many disney movies. =P
Disclaimer: Dreamworks owns Megamind, and Disney owns the song. I'm just the person who put them togeather for kicks and giggles. I did/will not receive any form of payment for this.
PS. There are also a few details thrown in from the official pre-movie comic book. I don't own those either, but check it out if you haven't seen it already. (just type in Megamind into google)
My friends, we are about to embark on the most
odious, the most evil, the most diabolical scheme
of my illustrious career. A crime to top all crimes,
a crime that will live in infamy!
The screwdriver handle slid underneath his finger tips, refusing to tighten the desired object anymore. Yes, that'll do. He put the tool down. It was perfect, another piece of the plot was ready.
Megamind pushed off from his worktable, and the chair glided across the floor. His outstretched hand stopped him from colliding with the unit. It was one of the many control stations in the room. The main panel was open, and its intricate interworkings laced the interior in a strangely elegant design. It was a perfect mix of science and creativity, a work of art really. Better than any he had ever attempted to steal.
From the brain that brought you the Big Ben Caper
The head that made headlines in every newspaper
And wondrous things like the Tower Bridge Job
That cunning display that made London a sob
It had taken months to assemble all of the parts. Mostly requiring crafty sub-plots and stealthy robberies to make sure that a certain muscle bound white tasseled do-gooder didn't notice. Not really Megamind's style, but hey when the occasion calls for it... That also meant that this particular project needed a longer time table than his normal schemes. For a while it was downgraded to a mere 'side project', but not anymore. It was ready.
Now comes the real tour de force
Tricky and wicked, of course
My earlier crimes were fine for their times
But now that I'm at it again
An even grimmer plot has been simmering
In my great criminal brain
The satellite was in orbit. The last diagnostic showed that all systems were a go. There were a few last minute adjustments that would need to be made, the observatory backdrop to be built, but Minion would take care of that. Assuming that his current scheme did not go as planed of course.
Even meaner? You mean it?
Worse than the widows and orphans you drowned?
You're the best of the worst around
Oh, Ratigan
Oh, Ratigan
The rest fall behind
To Ratigan
To Ratigan
The world's greatest criminal mind
He checked his watch. Fifteen minutes till show time, Minion would have already kidnapped Miss Ritchi by now. He needed to get back to the current lair. Leaving the building he looked up at the fake observatory, a skeleton that was only half built. Yet the framework was in place.
Thank you, Thank you. But it hasn't all been
champagne and caviar. I've had my share of
adversity, thanks to that miserable second-rate
detective, Basil of Baker Street. For years, that
insufferable pipsqueak has interfered with my plans.
I haven't had a moment's peace of mind. But, all
that's in the past! This time, nothing, not even
Basil, can stand in my way! All will bow before
me!
Though he was fond of the current plan too. A trip down memory lane via matinee of his 'Greatest Hits' (oh, that was good, he'd have to remember that) to remind this city of what it's greatest villain was capable of. It was a simple, yet elegant plan, mixing the working elements of all that came before: Roxi-bots, Brain Bots, and a fully functional Atomic Energon Drill. The perfect collage of all he had come to learn.
Yet... Yet it lacked... Well it lacked something, something Megamind couldn't put his finger on it but there was something missing. He had felt it in the observatory. So what was it?
Even louder
We'll shout it!
No one can doubt what we know you can do
You're more evil than even you
Oh, Ratigan
Oh, Ratigan
You're one of a kind
To Ratigan
To Ratigan
The world's greatest criminal mind
Finally tearing himself away Megamind headed to the currently not-so-invisible car, and buckled in. He stole one last look. A villain could do that. The incomplete dome looked almost ghostly in the early morning sun.
No, not ghostly.
Sinister.
It looked sinister. Almost like...
Naw!
He shook his head. His plans were fun. They were games, a never ending chess board with an infinite number of pieces made and created for the challenge of it all.
It's not like one of his schemes would ever actually work.
Fin.
Yeah... I know the last half of the song ("The World's Greatest Criminal Mind" from Disney's The Great Mouse Detective if you haven't figured it out already) doesn't fit as well as the first half. I also had to edit the song a little because it's interrupted by one of Ratigan's drunken minions calling him a rat (which means that Ratigan has to feed him to a cat... naturally) but I HAD to do it! The beginning is just SOOO Megamind!
Hope You Enjoyed It Anyway! =]
Reviews for nice author please!