Here's another greys fic from me. It's merder, but I'm not sure whether it's a one-shot or a work in progress. I have a storyline that could follow from this, and I'm curious about using it, but I'm not sure whether to start that on a new one and have this as a one-shot. What do you think? Please review and let me know whether to carry it on or not. It's set at the end of the episode where Derek's making the choice whether to sign the papers, and Meredith's waiting in Joe's for him. That's all I've seen up to, but I am aware of what happens in later episodes.

Pick me. Choose me. Love me.

Her own words echoed in her mind. Part of her scolded herself for sounding so desperate, so vulnerable. She was a surgeon, she was supposed to be strong, ready for any challenge. She was Ellis Grey's daughter. She should be able to handle anything...'should' being the operative word.

The bell sounded, and her head whipped around to glance at the door, followed automatically by the same reaction from her companions.

It wasn't him.

Being her mother's daughter, she always felt that people had expectations of her. Dr Webber, especially. She was no stranger to the complex relationship that Ellis and Richard had. If things had gone differently, and Adele and Thatcher hadn't been part of the equation twenty-one years ago, Richard could have been her stepfather. Instead, he was her boss. He was Dr Webber, not Richard. It didn't matter what sort of relationship he had been involved in with her mother, he would always be 'Dr Webber' or 'Sir' to her.

Part of her hated that. She rarely admitted to needing a father, even when her mother was always working. She tried not to need anyone, but right now, she needed someone. She needed a father, or her lucid mother. She needed someone to tell her that things would be okay, and that she was going to get a happy ending.

She needed Derek, because he was the key to that ending.

Again, the bell sounded again. This time, her eyes clapped upon a young couple, laughing with each other as they escaped the wrath of the storm outside by venturing into the bar.

It wasn't him.

Every time it wasn't him, her heart sank deeper and deeper into the dark and twisty place she reserved for being mad at him. She didn't want to be mad at him though. It was ironic that at first, she wanted to hate him, and found herself unable to do so, and now, when all of her mind was forcing her last shred of hope to hold out, she wanted to march over to the hospital and drag him by the scrubs to the bar. Just so that he'd be there.

But he wasn't there.

What did that mean? Was he going to sign the papers? Wasn't he? Had he already? Hadn't he? Her question had no answer, but she sought to find out if there was one at the bottom of the glass. However, after getting through the shot of tequila, she found there was no answers hidden at the bottom, only a contorted view of the woodwork beneath it.

She knew that she shouldn't keep on doing shots. The last time she'd stayed there all night doing shots, she'd brought home a random guy. She didn't want that to happen again. She wouldn't mind taking Derek home with her, but he would never be that random guy again.

The bell sounded. This time, her head raised slowly, something that was noticed by the others once the realised that they'd had time to look up and then turn back again before she had even fully laid eyes on the door. They knew what was happening.

She was giving up.

Look, I was married for 11 years. That's 11 Thanksgiving's, 11 birthdays, 11 Christmas's

She wanted that, Meredith thought to herself. She'd never really placed herself as the girl who wanted to settle down. She wanted to be a surgeon, to save lives, to concentrate on others so that the disaster of her own life was just a blip on the radar, and nothing more. But now, having Derek in her life, even if he was part of the disaster, made her want it. She wanted to have the Thanksgiving's, and the birthdays, and the Christmas's, and all the other holidays. She wanted the everyday, without the sneaking around, without thinking that she was a dirty mistress.

She wanted him.

But as the bell sounded again, she knew that every second that was passing, lead her further into a future where that wasn't possible.

In one day, I'm supposed to sign a piece of paper and end my family?

She could see where he was coming from. She understood that ending his marriage was going to have an effect on him. Those things aren't easy. It wasn't going to be all peaches and cream as soon as the paper was signed, and he'd be back to smiling his McDreamy smile all the time. But yes, she realised that he was supposed to sign a piece of paper and end it.

Why?

Because he'd promised her. He'd said that he'd sign the papers, and she'd be on the first flight back to New York.

And she'd actually believed that it would be that easy.

A person doesn't do that, not without a little hesitation.

Only she wasn't sure if she could deal with the hesitation. If he was hesitating, that meant that he wasn't sure that he was doing the right thing. It meant that a part of him still wanted to be with Addison over her, and that broke her heart. She had given Derek her whole heart, but he had only given her the part that wasn't devoted to his wife. The wife that he had neglected to tell her about.

I'm entitled to a little certainty here.

A part of him still wanted to be married. Not just married in general. Married to her. Satan. The she-devil of salmon scrubs. The kind woman who was so impossible to hate and kept on appearing wherever was most inappropriate at the time.

She should have known that the one person she couldn't compete with in Derek's wife, was the person who had stood opposite him at the alter, and exchanged vows with. They'd been married, and they'd had a honeymoon, and in front of a crowd of people, they had declared their love for each other.

Meredith had been through enough trouble just saying it to him.

I am entitled to at least one moment...of painful doubt, and a little understanding from you would be nice.

She did understand, though. Only too well. She understood why those eleven years meant so much. She understood that it was a big part of his life that they had spent together, and that removing that period in time so callously was hard for them both. She understood that even though she had cheated on him, a part of his heart still belonged to the red-head who had first taken it. She understood that it was hard for him to see her back in the hospital, so desperate to win back his affections. She understood why he was hesitating over the papers.

Because he was her wife. There would be a part of him that would always love her for that, because at one point in their lives, Addison would have picked him over all other men in the world.

She just didn't understand why he wasn't there right now, beside her.

Your choice, it's simple. Her or me.

That was the simple part. Signing the papers might bring hesitation, and seeing both the women who held his heart in a tug-of-war grip might bring doubts, but the ultimate choice was as simple as could be. Addison, or Meredith. The wife, or the mistress. The neo-natal specialist, or the intern. The red head, or the blonde. The cheater, or the one who has a strange habit of mixing men with tequila shots.

However it was looked at, there was always a choice, and her and Addison were complete oppsites. That's why the bigger part of her was so sure that she was going to be sitting alone for the rest of the night.

I love you.

Why had she told him that? How could that possibly make any influence in his decision. This was about his feelings, not hers. He now had to pick between two women, the same as before, but instead of easily picking between the woman who loved him, and the woman playing hard to get, Meredith had complicated things so that both the women loved him.

She just wasn't sure she would be able to put up the same fight that Addison was putting up.

I'll be at Joe's tonight...so if you do decide...to sign the papers...meet me there.

So there she was. At Joe's. No Derek.

It was already nine pm, she realised, glancing up at the clock. She had been there since six. Three hours. Three hours, and he hadn't shown. What was he doing?

Was he picking Addison?

"Any minute now." Joe told her.

She looked up at him from where she had returned her glance to the strange distortion of the world through the bottom of her glass. She knew that he was trying to make her feel better, and she thanked him for that, but the little hope that had accompanied her into the bar three hours ago was only a tiny flicker of flame left now, threatening to go out any minute.

It was still two hours until closing time, but she wasn't sure that she could last that long. Slowly, she started to hear the voice in the back of her head. He's not coming.

Why had he lied to her? He'd told her that the papers would be signed, and that there would be no sneaking around. They could be a couple, a proper couple, like they'd been right up until the moment that the red haired woman had introduced herself as Addison Shephard.

She sighed heavily, one of the few noises that she had emitted other than asking Joe to top up her drink. He wasn't coming.

"He's not coming." She whispered aloud, hoping that the acceptance of this would make it easier some how, but it didn't. "He's not coming." She repeated, only so quietly that the other interns only saw her lips move.

"He'll be here, Mer." George told her, but his voice was quiet, and she didn't believe him.

George, Cristina and Izzie all turned their heads to the door, half expecting the door to open and Derek to enter, covered in rain. But he didn't.

Meredith asked Joe to fill her another shot, and he did so, casting a wary glance to the others, who made no attempt to stop her from drinking. A while ago they had suggested her sticking to soft drinks, so that she wouldn't be completely hammered when Derek turned up. This hadn't gone down well, but it had gone down quietly. However, if looks could kill, George would have been dead and buried in a second.

Then something happened, and everyone who had been waiting, not so patiently, for Derek to come and sweep her off her feet, knew exactly what had happened.

The bell on the door sounded.

Meredith didn't look up.

The last scrap of hope she was clinging too had gone.

She didn't even look like she had heard the door. She just circled her finger around the rim of her shot glass. She paid no attention to the three people who stared at her. She paid no attention to anything, except her glass. Her empty glass. There was no point in even drinking anymore, because there wasn't anything that could be done to help it. In the morning, she would end up on the bathroom floor, ranting about men and leaning over the toilet bowl occassionally when the tequila tried to resurface again.

Cristina, George and Izzie exchanged worried glances at each other when Meredith brought her hand up to support her head. At first, they thought they just imagined it, but there really were tears in her eyes. Meredith let out a choked sob, and hid her face against her arm, determined not to let them see her cry, but it was already too late for that.

Once she had started crying though, it was too hard to stop. The tears just kept coming, the same ones she had fought down all the while she was telling him that she loved him. She had opened her heart to him and he had said nothing. He hadn't returned the gesture. He hadn't made an immediate decison. He hadn't come after her, and he hadn't shown up at Joe's.

He really wasn't coming.

Her eyes stung when she tried to withold the tears, and the large lump that was blocking her throat caused her to let out more tears. She had completely embarrassed herself. This would be around the whole hospital in the morning, and she'd be the laughing stock of Seattle Grace. She'd be forever known at the dirty-mistress-slutty-intern Meredith who slept with her extremely handsome, charming, married boss. That would sure shoot the expectations people had of Ellis Grey's daughter.

At least she had a day off the next day.

The tears kept coming. She couldn't stop them. She didn't even try to. She felt alone, abandoned, and there was no one there. No arms came to embrace her, no comforting words were whispered in her ear. Nothing. No one. Alone.

But then, out of the midst of her breakdown, there was someone.

A pair of hands were present on her waist, slowly slinking around to her stomach. One trailed up and came to her shoulder, aiding her off the bar stool she hadn't moved from for three hours. She felt exhausted, and didn't try to fight whoever it was that was trying to stop her making even more of a fool of herself. Right now, someone could put her in a car going off a cliff, and she wouldn't even try to fight them.

Obediently, she followed where the hands were moving her, and when she was urged to sit down silently, she did so without an arguement. She was surprised to feel that rather than her body coming into contact with the padded seat of a chair, she was lowered into somebody's lap intead, and the hands that had guided her over embraced her, holding her tightly.

She knew those hands.

She knew the jacket that her face was pressed up against. She knew the smell of that aftershave. She knew the feeling of her hair brushing up against a small lining of stubble. She knew the sensation of the hands rubbing the top of her arms. She knew how it felt to be in those arms. She knew. She knew who it was.

"It's okay, Meri." She heard him whisper, and the stubble was removed from the top of her hair, replaced with a pair of loving lips instead. "It's okay, it's okay. Don't cry."

She balled a handful of the jacket up in her first, raising her head from his shoulder so that she could look into the eyes of the man who held her.

"Derek." She murmered. "You're here. What are you doing here?."

He nodded, brushing back her now wild hair behind her ears. "Everything you asked me to. I'm sorry I'm late." He said, giving her a weak smile, but one that melted her regardless.

"Where were you?" She asked him, sniffing as he wiped the underneath of her eyes with his thumb. "I've been here for hours, where were you?"

"At the airport." He told her honestly. She frowned. Was he going to return to New York? "I thought that the least I could do was see Addison off."

Her frown disappeared. "See her off?" She questioned.

Derek nodded. "The papers are signed. Addison's not my wife anymore. There are no rings," he held up his hand to show the lack of a gold band on his finger, "There are no obligations, no complications. Just me and you."

"Me and you." She repeated, nodding slowly.

"If you'll still have me." He smiled.

There it was. The McDreamy smile. There wasn't a doubt in her mind that she'd still have him, but the shock had rendered her speechless. It was starting to sink in. Derek was here. He had picked her. He had chosen her. He loved her.

She couldn't find any words to say what she felt, and simply returned to his embrace, pressing her face against his neck and breathing in the scent that was simply him.

"I love you." He murmered into her ear as he held her tightly. "I love you, and I'd be a fool to be with anyone else. I belong here, at your side, no one else's." He pulled away a little so that his lips could meet hers. "We're going to make it, Mer, you'll see. We're going to be fine."

Meredith nodded. "Can we go home now?" She asked him, and she saw the light in his eyes at the words 'we' and 'home'.

He nodded, and stood up, placing her back on her feet, but still keeping a hold of her. The moment they turned around, Cristina, George, Izzie and Joe simultaneously turned around, pretending that they hadn't been watching for the past several minutes. As Meredith collected her jacket, and her and Derek soundlessly left Joe's bar with each other, George sighed and turned to Izzie.

"Is it too late to buy her a padded headboard?"

What did you think? Do you want more, or is this just a one-shot?