Title: Running away

Author: Luso

Spoilers; into the fire, Divide and Conquer, Entity, Affinity, Endgame, Covenant and Avatar. Don't blame me; you've been warned, sorry if there's anymore.

Summary: Affinity goes a little differently and Jack is tired of putting up with his problems and decides to run from them instead. Will Running away work?

Season: 8

Rating: T for now, but it might change to M later.

Genre: Romance/ Drama

Disclaimer: Not mine (Unfortunately), but if they were I think I would be too nervous and excited to say anything coherent

Chapter 1

God this was hard. Jack O'Neill sat on his couch staring blankly at the TV. Currently showing his beloved hockey game. Today had quite possibly been one of the worst days he had had in a very long time, and that was quite a big statement, what with the constant impending doom that always seemed to be heading his way.

He was too old for this. His old bettered heart couldn't take any more pain, that was part of why he had become general, he thought it would be easier not being out there witnessing the deaths of good men and women first hand. Boy was he wrong, if anything it was worse. Instead he was stuck behind a desk at least 100 hours a week, helpless to do anything to stop it. Just last week he had almost lost Teal'c, and only saved him by risking Daniel too when they got stuck in that stupid simulation doohickey Lee and his team of eggheads had come up with.

He was momentarily pulled out of his thoughts when the light of a passing car illuminated his lounge. He glanced out the window and took in the sheets of rain that were pouring down. "Matches my radiant mood perfectly then, doesn't it." He mused aloud, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Taking a long swig of his beer he turned back to the TV and switched it off, not particularly bothered about the game at all, deciding instead to call it a night and just pray that sleep would bring unconsciousness and no dreaded thoughts of the fact that Samantha Carter had accepted Pete's proposal today. Had he mentioned how hard this was?

As he picked up the abundance of empty beer bottles off of his coffee table he stumbled toward the kitchen, before returning to the lounge and putting away the bottle off Southern Comfort, having decided against taking it to bed with him. He was already pretty sure he was going to have a raw hangover tomorrow and was thoroughly looking forward to his oh so enjoyable little meeting with Walter tomorrow morning. Seriously though, why did the guy just stand there and wait for him outside the elevator, didn't he have anything better to do?

As he was closing the cabinet door, the light reflected off the shiny surface and he was once more brutally reminded of the glinting diamond in the engagement ring that now adorned Sam's delicate ring finger. The ring that wasn't his, his was probably dusty by now. Why did it hurt so much? It was a stupid idea in the first place, he should never have bought her a ring, what did he think would happen? It was just a spur of the moment compulsion he had had after that stupid alien entity thingy had taken control of her body. God, he hadn't been that scared since Charlie had died. And what was worse was the fact that he had actually killed her. He remembered that day so well; he had been overcome with relief when she had taken that first breath. He had hated seeing her plugged up to that machine that had breathed for her, apart from the fact that it had kept her alive, her body at least. He shuddered remembering how still she had been.

Clambering up the few steps in the hallway he stumbled down the hall before haphazardly stripping down to his boxers and climbing under the covers. He had tossed and turned for a while before finally accepting his dull fate, as his mind was too busy whirring with his thoughts. He had hoped that the alcohol would make him forget, at least temporarily.

He had wanted so badly to reach out and take her hand, to reassure himself that she was really there and alive and ok, he would have done too if he hadn't have seen Hammond standing there eyeing him warily. They had been given a weeks downtime and as soon as he had left the mountain the next day having dropped Carter back at her place and sharing a rather incredible hug, he had set out to buy a ring. Now he thought about it, it was probably the dangerous combination of being surrounded by her scent after being so close to losing her, oh yeah and the fact that he is deeply in love with her and had been since that stupid Hathor incident when she had almost had the life sucked out of her by that stupid ribbon device. God, it hadn't been nice to wake up and see that, he had just pushed Hathor into that Ice tank thing and pulled Sam into his arms.

That was a sobering thought, it wasn't very often he allowed himself to admit his feelings for Sam, pointless now though. I guess now he just needed her to be happy, that was the best thing he could hope for. It didn't make it any easier though, he had known she had been seeing the guy for quite a while, he just hadn't thought they were that serious. Mind you, it's not like they ever really talked about their personal lives. He thought they had drifted apart after the whole zatarc situation had forced them to admit their feelings, but now it was worse. Every time they were in a room and didn't have something work related to talk about the atmosphere was tense and uncomfortable, he never just visited her lab for small talk anymore and he missed it. He missed her.

He rolled over and looked at the clock illuminated on his bedside, cringing at the "03:47" taunting his tired and weary brain, he had to be at the mountain for 06:00. Too sick and tired to fight anymore, he resigned himself to the fact that there was no longer any hope of Samantha Carter ever being more than his second in command. Then and there he decided he would just have to be satisfied that he'd see her everyday, he'd do his best to keep her safe as long as he was the commander of the SGC and finally he succumbed to a restless slumber.

Feedback please, this is my first ever FanFic so let me know what you think.