Draco Malfoy and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
Harry/Draco [PG-13, 7 parts]
Disclaimer: JK Rowling and co own everything. I'm writing for fun and not for profit.
A/N: I recently read Judith Viorst's book (from which the title of this fic comes from) and wondered how Draco Malfoy's day could be worse. Slight crack!fic and an excuse to write fluff. One chapter posted every week until LeakyCon. Unbeta'd and not Brit-picked, but I do hope you enjoy.
Summary: "I think I'll move to Australia," Draco said one morning.
And so begins Draco Malfoy's Very Bad Day, which starts out very ordinary and quickly goes sour when he finds his boyfriend cheating on him. Things do not seem to get better unless Harry Potter can be a hero and save the day. (And somehow find the courage to tell Draco how he feels.)
Draco Malfoy and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
"I think I'll move to Australia," Draco said as soon as he walked into his office one morning.
Harry, who had been talking to Hermione, watched as Draco took off his red Auror robes and hung them behind his desk. Underneath the robes, Draco wore Harry's favourite dark blue shirt and a pair of black slacks, tailored perfectly to his body to show off the muscles he still had from Auror training and Quidditch games. His hair was no longer sleeked back, but hung loosely, taking away some of the sharpness from his facial features.
As usual, Draco looked perfect. Meanwhile, Harry's mind was a mess.
It usually was, if Draco happened to be in the same room as Harry. In the beginning, when they were first named Auror partners, Harry knew he was in deep trouble. His tiny crush, which had started during Auror training while watching Draco stubbornly succeed in every obstacle thrown his way, had grown into outright admiration.
All thoughts would fly out of Harry's mind and he couldn't think at all when the other man was near. Which was a problem, since Harry wouldn't pay attention on cases and would get both of them hurt with stray hexes. Their first overnight stay at St Mungo's recuperating from their injuries had frightened Harry enough that he vowed to get his emotions under control. For the most part, it had worked, but there were still times when Harry couldn't help himself and would focus all his attention on Draco.
Thank goodness Draco had not noticed Harry's huge crush on him. So far.
Hermione elbowed him, mouthing stop staring, Harry, but she also hid a wry smile. She had been the only one so far to figure out Harry's secret, but, being a great best friend, had not told anyone.
"Australia?" Harry repeated finally, as if that word left a sour taste in his mouth. "Why on earth would you want to move to Australia? Isn't that where all the criminals are sent?" Harry asked, looking at Hermione for confirmation.
"You're thinking of Azkaban, Harry," Hermione said. "My parents adored Australia. I think you would love it there, Draco, despite what Harry has to say." Hermione shook with laughter, which she tried to cover with a cough, but wasn't successful. Harry turned around just in time to see Draco glaring at him and he gulped.
"Just what are you implying?" Draco's voice had gone soft, deadly, the kind he used when he spoke to a suspect they had brought in for questioning. Harry knew he had to choose his next words carefully.
"Nothing! It's just, why would you want to move there? Don't you like living in London?" Harry said, quite calmly, but inside he was panicking. Was Draco leaving him behind once and for all? If so, why? Was there anything Harry could do to change his mind?
"I do," Draco said, nodding, and he had a faraway look in his eyes, "but I need a change of scenery. I'm tired of being underappreciated at this job. The past few cases have been so trivial, I could solve them in my sleep. At least in Australia I'll have a better opportunity to demonstrate my skills. You know, I could be a world class Auror if they only-"
"Oh, stop being melodramatic, Malfoy," Hermione said, snorting. "Everyone knows you're a damned good Auror. Tell us why you'd ditch the only place you have ever called home for Australia, of all places."
"Why, Granger, thanks for the compliment," Draco said, giving her a smile. "However, that won't change my mind as I've decided to live closer to my Quidditch boyfriend. He's a Seeker, you know, and he's amazing."
Meanwhile, both Hermione and Harry rolled their eyes. They had heard about this supposed boyfriend for quite a while, but had never actually met him. Harry was wistfully hoping that this boyfriend did not exist.
"In fact," Draco continued, "he woke me up, surprised me, really, with a blow job in bed-"
"Malfoy! This is hardly appropriate!" Hermione said, blushing, as she flicked her wand to gather her sheets of parchment.
"You know where the door is, Granger," Draco said, but Hermione didn't move at all. She just glanced at Harry, who sat at his desk with wide eyes. Harry was surprised; sure, Draco had an unfiltered mind when talking in private, but he normally wasn't blasé at all about sex.
"I'm a firm believer that you're not going to have a good day unless you start out with sex in bed," Draco said, smirking. "However, Noah was a bit too enthusiastic. He almost broke my arm. Sure, I like a little bit of pain with sex. I like it rough, but when the mood strikes. However, if I have to mend a few bones- not on at all."
Harry winced. He was of the opinion that one should avoid St Mungo's if possible.
"Ah, the perks of having a Quidditch player for a boyfriend," Draco said, sighing. "I mean, I had to make great sacrifices so that I wouldn't be late for work." He lowered his voice so that both of them had to lean in closer to hear him. "I had to make do with a few Scourify charms, but it's nothing compared to the luxury of a bath."
"But you were still late," Harry said without thinking. "I've been waiting for you. Usually, I'm the one-"
"The good thing is that you are here and can get started on your new case," Hermione interrupted, trying to soothe things over, but that didn't stop the glare that Draco sent Harry.
"Oh, yes, now that the great duo, Potter and his sidekick Malfoy are here, may all evil fear us," Draco proclaimed dramatically. "Too bad it'll have to wait while I have my first cup of coffee." Draco Summoned his personal coffee mug, along with two others, and walked over to the espresso machine that he had insisted that Harry install in their office. That machine was a miracle worker, keeping Harry and Draco alert while they worked long hours each day on different cases.
"What is he talking about? He's not making any sense. I mean, why the sudden interest in Australia. Do you think he's been hit with a Confundus Charm?" Hermione whispered once Draco was busy preparing his coffee.
Harry shook his head. "Honestly, sometimes I have no idea what he's saying. He needs to vent out his bullshit. I just happen to be the person who listens. Don't question it. It works. Just like when Ron agrees with you when you go on long discussions or pretends to understand the new legislation you are trying to get approved."
Hermione frowned, but didn't say anything as she took a quill from Harry's desk and started writing furiously. Harry tried to peek over her shoulder, but she blocked her writing with her arm.
Draco came over with three mugs that Harry usually prepared each day. Black coffee with three sugars for Harry. Cream and vanilla for Draco. Draco handed Hermione a cup of tea.
"Granger, that's what I do. I live to annoy the Boy Who Lived. It's a terrible job, but someone has to it." He took a sip of coffee and exhaled deeply.
"How do you put up with him, Harry?" Harry shrugged his shoulders at Hermione's' question, but he had developed an unexpected enthusiasm for the paperwork that lay on his desk. He refused to look at either of them for a few minutes.
Draco narrowed his eyes and turned to ask Hermione a question. "Exactly what are you doing here, Granger? Last I knew, I had already said I would work for house-elf rights to demand better healthcare, even though none seem particularly keen on the idea."
"It's the principle of the matter that counts, Malfoy," Hermione said with a small smile. "Pleased as I am to know that you are supporting house-elf rights, I'm actually here to remind Harry that Molly would like for him to visit the Burrow this Sunday and that no one cares if he comes alone."
"Oh, are you still single, Potter?" Draco said, looking down at him. His grey eyes met Harry's and instead of the teasing Harry expected, he found genuine concern.
Harry had rarely dated after breaking up with Ginny, so any person Harry dated was always cause for speculation, especially if he brought them over to the Burrow.
Harry groaned and glared at Hermione. He had hoped to never be reminded of his failed relationship.
"I thought you were still dating- Oh, what's his name?" Draco said, snapping his fingers. "He was that tall, blond bloke, right?"
"Yes. His name is Sven. No, we broke up six weeks ago. Irreconcilable differences," Harry added quickly, hoping to change the topic. "And don't worry, Hermione. I'll be there this weekend. I took some time off."
Hermione stared at him in shock. "Really? Or did Kingsley make you take some time off?"
"It seems like I'm due for a holiday since I'm working too hard," Harry said. "I'm fine, really. I'll see you and Ron at the Burrow on Sunday, yeah?"
"All right, Harry. Just promise me you'll Floo me when you get out of work," Hermione said.
Harry nodded.
With one last glance at Harry, Hermione left.
Draco was sitting on the edge of his desk, sipping out of his coffee. His Adam's apple bobbed in a way that mesmerized Harry. "You know, if you really want a boyfriend…"
Harry groaned. "Not you, too."
"I was just offering you my services. You know, since I have a boyfriend," Draco said, grinning.
"Yeah, one that you'll consider moving to Australia to live after dating for how long?"
"Eight months."
Harry waited until the exact moment that Draco had taken another sip of his coffee to say, "So, eight months, huh? Are you going to be announcing your engagement soon?"
Draco spit out the coffee, but Vanished it before it could ruin his clothes. He pulled out a handkerchief and wiped his mouth, shaking his head at Harry.
"Why, Potter, did you want to be my best man?" Draco asked, a pleased grin on his face. "But no, there has been no marriage proposal, nor is there going to be one any time soon. Don't you give Mother any ideas," Draco said, shaking a finger at Harry.
"I'll try not to," Harry said, secretly pleased. "So you'll leave your comments about my lack of relationship to yourself and I won't say anything about your relationship. Agreed?"
Draco gave an exaggerated sigh. "I guess."
"Good," Harry said, nodding. "Are you finished with your coffee? We really need to get started since we are already behind."
Draco Accioed the papers from his desk. He frowned as he finished reading the preliminary report.
"Why does it seem that we are not getting any good cases lately?"
"You're mad, Draco. It's been a slow week, nothing but petty crimes today. Unless you want to stay here and fill out paperwork?" Harry said, with a knowing grin. Easy cases were always preferred over paperwork.
"Come on, Potter," Draco said as he tugged his Auror robes back on and smoothed down any imaginary wrinkles. "It looks like we have a cat to rescue."