Kurt was shaking. This was unfair. This wasn't right. All his life he had been fighting for his rights; to be free, to be happy. He had always known it was going to happen. He was trained. He was ready. At least, that's what people thought. Inside he wasn't ready. He believed…he deserved to be loved and to love! It was so unfair that just because he was gay he was already claimed, against his will, on his birthday.
He was waiting with his father and Carole at the driveway. All his clothes were already in the new house as well as some personal stuff, not that it was a lot. He had only a few things with him in a small backpack. He had said goodbye to his parents already. That was done. Everything was right and so fucking not at the same time.
A black BMW pulled into the driveway and soon after Adam got out the car, smiling. The boy - no, the man was handsome, but Kurt didn't look at him, instead staring at the ground. He knew it wasn't his place to look his Dom in the eyes.
He wasn't permitted to look at Adam's eyes. He wasn't permitted to listen to his parents and his Dom's conversations. He wasn't permitted to be a person anymore.
Adam handed Burt and Carole a copy of his house keys before he finally addressed Kurt. "Kurt, I want you to go to my car," he asked gently, in an English accent, but with a tone that suggested he was to be taken seriously. It was an order. Kurt just nodded, murmured "bye" to his father and got in.
He didn't look at anyone; instead he stared down at his hands, fingers interlaced. He didn't know a lot about his new role. Kurt had heard about the ways Doms treated their subs and he didn't like it one bit. He had a submissive nature – it was in his blood, a part of him – but he didn't want to give himself to someone he barely knew, much less didn't, and may not ever, love. He had started digging in his backpack from the lack of better things to do when suddenly Adam got in the car.
"Sweetheart," he started calmly, "I just spoke with your father about your actions when I first arrived." Kurt shivered. Was he really going to be punished so soon? For being what? Sad? Scared? "I want you to know that I'm going to try my best to make you happy", Adam continued quietly. "You can be happy in a relationship like this, but you have to trust me. At least a little now."
He started the car. Kurt didn't say a word, staring at his feet. It was still overwhelming, even though Adam's gentle tone helped. The man was unexpectedly ridiculous actually; he seemed to never stop smiling and he seemed just too bubbly to be cruel or dominating. Was there something wrong with the guy?
"When we're done with dinner and you're unpacked I want us to talk about rules and negotiate the contract, so now your job is to think about it. What do you want from this relationship, and what are you afraid of? You have a few minutes until we're home so use it. Is this understood?" he asked gently.
"Mhmmm." Kurt paid little attention to Adam's words, focused on staring at the floor and feeling sorry for himself.
"Yes, Adam," the Dom corrected him. "This is going to be first of our rules as soon as we get home. Now please drop that bag and think about that," he ordered.
The drive to Adam's– and now Kurt's – home was silent and he tried to seriously think about this new rule. He felt anxious, he'd never really had to address someone so formally before. Kurt knew he was bound to slip and mess up. And thinking of more rules? It was challenging. But he tried, he really did, however, his thoughts were blank and he couldn't concentrate properly - overwhelmed by the situation.
Nothing felt right when they finally got to Adam's house that, he had to admit, was amazing. It was a mansion, just so big and white. But truthfully Kurt didn't care anyway. He stepped out of the car as soon as they pulled up but hadn't even managed to close the door before his arm was held tight in Adam's grip.
"Did I give you permission?" he asked sharply. Kurt hung his head and shook it, biting his lip. "Exactly. Remember that for next time. Now, come inside. We need to talk." Although Adam wasn't angry now there was a very firm tone in his voice. Kurt looked at him unsurely as they went inside, where a young girl greeted them at the door.
"Mr. Crawford," she smiled, taking his jacket from him. "Your room is ready as you requested and dinner will be in half an hour."
He nodded, smiling at her. "Go, finish dinner. We'll talk about any changes to your work later," Adam ordered her softly. He took Kurt's hand and led him through the hallway. They stopped in front of two grand doors, Kurt wondering what could possibly be behind them. "Here's your room for the next two months while you're getting settled and used to this; all your belongings are in there already. Get refreshed and ready for dinner, I'll come to collect you in half an hour. Don't leave the room without me and be ready on time. Please feel free to change into something more comfortable. As much as I love you in these clothes they won't be practical during dinner or for our talk afterwards," said Adam gently, rubbing Kurt's back.
Kurt nodded. Adam – no, his master – didn't like his clothes. Of all of the things he could hate, it was his clothes, Kurt's greatest love. He felt so numb, so hopeless. He wanted his father with him, holding him and telling him everything was going to be okay while Kurt cried against his chest. But he wasn't here and Kurt had to act properly. He didn't want to be punished so soon. Not because he felt anything towards his Dom – only an idiot would think this situation was good, being someone's possession, belonging to them and having to obey them, was more like a nightmare. He frowned, eyes watering with the tears he had been holding in all day, no longer caring that Adam was still in the room. The man took Kurt's face in his hands. 'It'll be OK, sweetheart,' he murmured, kissing his forehead. 'Go, look at your room, do whatever you want. Just be ready in half an hour' he ordered gently. Kurt nodded and entered the room; deep inside him, it was in his nature to obey.
Adam closed the door behind Kurt, leaving him alone while he got a first look at his new home. The room was beautiful, he had to admit. It was black with white, simple furniture. There was everything necessary, no need to add or change anything. It was tasteful, simple and useful. Kurt relaxed a little and sighed happily, more content with what was now home for the next two months. This was the first time he felt any sort of happiness in the last week. At least he had this, this room with all his favourite movies, posters from musicals already on the walls, his closet full of his clothes in the right order (he needed to remember to thank someone for that later).
Kurt lay on the bed looking at all this, and suddenly felt upset again, the high from seeing all his prized possessions wearing off quickly. It wasn't right, he shouldn't be here, home was 20 minutes away, not here, calling this place home was wrong. He started crying, finally feeling able to release the tears he had been battling all day now that Adam was gone. This feeling of contentment in the room was so wrong. It shouldn't feel good. He shouldn't be here. He shouldn't… fall asleep before changing into his dinner clothes.