It had started as some kind of playful payback, or maybe not so playful. Jayne could no longer feel physically threatening to the girl, not after what she had done to him at the Maidenhead and later when he had gone after her in the galley- of coarse that was all before she had saved them all by taking on every reaver after them, all at once, alone,

Victorious. Probably no one in the verse could best her, especially with the added advantage of bein a mind-reading, psychic genius. Still though he didn't want to threaten her it rankled him to no end her superiority over him in that area. Rationally he knew he was in the same boat as pretty much everyone else and sure he could eat an Ice Planet without the difficulties it still presented her but that wasn't enough. He was supposed to be the baddest thing on this ship and he knew it was petty, knew they had bigger things to worry on then this, but he couldn't get it out of his head. He had to find something he was better at then her, had to. It occupied his every spare thought, he took it on as a quest, a mission. He took to watching her, like quarry, every chance he got, looking for a weakness, a chink in her armor. He continuously reminded himself not to think of his intention, gathering information while trying to keep his mind clear of its purpose lest she gleam it from him. He did his chores, went on jobs, sometimes with her, followed what had become his normal routine. Things had changed since Miranda, everyone had been affected differently. They were all more tolerant and sympathetic to each other yet at the same time a little more distant. No one else in the Verse had been through what they had, probably no one else ever would.

Things didn't progress as he had planned. The near obsession he had to find her faults' only emphasized to him how few there were that he could take advantage of. Sure she still had her way of saying and doing things that were socially inept and embarrassing at times but hey he kinda found that part of her entertaining. The more he thought of her the more he thought of her. The image of her relatively unscathed on top of all them dead Reavers went from unbelievably intimidating to sexy as Hell. The look in her eyes when those doors opened was seared in his mind. He saw strength, confidence, power and something he wasn't sure of… fear. He didn't know if he imagined it and it wasn't the fear of losing or of being hurt or even killed. It was the fear that she would have to kill all those Alliance men with guns, fear that she would have to take more lives. He thought he knew her fondest wish. To be normal, a normal girl. Everyone, including her knew that would, could never be. Yet irrationally it was what she wanted, it was what Simon wanted for her, it was what everyone on Serenity wanted for her, including himself. She couldn't change what happened, what she did, what she was. He knew that bothered her, but he was well into appreciating it.

Months into his quest he failed to see until it was too late that it had changed, he no longer was looking for her Achilles heel, he had fallen for her, hard. He had also failed to notice that others had taken notice of his not so subtle stalking of their new pilot. It had been discussed by every crew member and dismissed. He had been decent to her lately, less threats, less name callin and they had worked well together on jobs. Things had been going relatively smooth. Zoe and Mal believed Jayne was in awe of her skills and that he was just appreciating her in the way he appreciated his weapons. Kaylee and Simon were distracted by their new affair, hearing no complaints from neither Jayne nor River about each other they gave it little real thought. Inara may have been the only one with an inkling of the truth. She saw no harm in what she thought of as Jayne's "crush"

Especially since River had proven she could take care of herself and no matter what she thought of Jayne at times she had never seen him as the type that would even attempt to force himself on a woman. Before the time Jayne had realized himself what had happened to him ( a sly smile from a passing Inara while he helped River with dinner one night ) He knew he was in trouble- doubtful that a creature as magnificent as River would ever give him the time of day as a suitor depressed him and made him spend more and more time in his bunk. He saw the irony in what happened or rather hadent happened. His quest fulfilled. He wanted her and knew he would likely never get a chance to show her his real prowess, the one thing he knew much more about than she. Sex.

He had learned early that the more pleasure he gave the more he would get and had honed his skills with as many women as he could afford. He usually preferred paying as his work rarely kept him any one place for very long and one of the few things he had a healthy respect for was a woman scorned.

One day as he was brooding in his room over the fact that he would never touch the silky tangle of her hair or softly run his roughened hands over her pale flesh, an idea struck him. The past couple of weeks he had seen a change in River, she would blush slightly when he spoke to her, averting her eye's, stammering her reply's. This would coincide with the nights he had dreamt of her, or touched himself with her image in his mind. He concluded that she knew this. He grinned at what he could show her in his mind.

That night he plotted in his bunk, he knew when she went to bed, he would wait till he imagined her under her covers, right before sleep. He would imagine her in his arms dancing, he knew she loved to dance. In his mind he would expertly move her around a dance floor, looking lovingly in her eyes. He kept things light and sweet in his wakened state, knowing her lack of experience with men, not wanting to spook her if indeed as he thought she could pick up on the images in his mind. He knew his plan was not likely to succeed, but he kept it up, staggering his nights of 'dates' with her to see if she acknowledged them somehow the next day. He could not be sure, he felt something different, but it was only a feeling. It seemed a secret life he had now, apart from the jobs they did, the chatter they had, the chores, the everyday workings on Serenity. He imagined picnic's in fields of flowers complete with bountiful fruit tree's and fluffy docile animals to wonder at. Long horseback rides in lush forests, rowing in small boats across beautiful lakes with little more than hand holding and small pecks on the cheek during his nights. They fought side by side at jobs, he treated her as an equal, watching her back as he watched Zoe's and the Captains, as she watched all of their's.

The group's comraderie grew, they were easier with each other, banter was the usual between them all, even Simon and Jayne were doing things together in their off time. Jayne noticed River's wondering glances at him and waited for her to say something, he dident mean her no malice, he had fallen for her and thinking his fantasies were all he could have and couldent hurt her, he saw no harm being done. He had grown to look forward to his "secret" dates with River, thinking himself clever in the variety of the 'places' he would take her, proud of the restraint he used in his thoughts knowing a core girl like River would never take to his rough, straight to the point usual style. Things went on for weeks like this, he now knew she had been tapping into his musings, he noticed how she fairly announced when she was going to bed and the looks she gave him were quizzical but not yet what he yearned for.

Jayne woke with a smile on his face, drifting slowly into his wakeful state from the best dream he had had in ages. Realization soon had him fully awake and somewhat regretful. The torrid dream he had had started like his usual daydreams, dancing under the stars, dressed to the nines, holding her tight, running his hands across her bare shoulders, giving her a gentle kiss that grew to a searing passion. In his dream she wanted him just as much as he wanted her and he had taken her. The gentleness he had with her in his wakeful imaginings was gone in the intensity of his sleeping dream. He quickly dressed, hopeful to find the explanation he needed to assure her of what, he didn't know. He felt he may have damaged any progress he may have made toward letting her know his true feeling, feeling a little cowardly for not going the regular route and just telling her.

He exited his bunk and hurriedly looked for her. He found her in the kitchen with all the others, breakfast was being served and he had all the crew looking at him as he raced in.

"Jayne, no need to run, there's plenty." Mal quipped. He smiled and noticed that though everyone else was looking at him, River was averting her eye's. He sat and ate wondering why no one else seemed to feel the immense tension in the room, he tried to catch River's eye but she avoided them as she also avoided any morning small talk, so much so that Simon became worried. "Mei Mei, is everything alright? You're so quiet, didn't you sleep well? River finally glanced over at Jayne "I had trouble sleeping, dreams.." Jayne's fork stopped mid way to his mouth. "Nightmares? River, anything we should know about? Is there danger? Simon's words stopped everyone, waiting for Rivers answer. Still looking in Jayne's direction, his head tilted to catch her eye, his mind pleading for privacy. "Not a nightmare, I don't think, I mean it was just confusing, nothing I want to talk about now." She said forcefully enough to have everyone back off.

Breakfast ended and it was River's turn to clean up, everyone drifted off, leaving Jayne sitting, waiting for his moment to explain, he watched her cleaning up, she seemed jittery, almost like her pre-Miranda days, the regret hit him deeper, what had he been playing at, his intentions were not to hinder her recovery, was he seducing her or violating her? He stood, anger at himself barely under control, who did he think he was? He knew he was not good enough for her and look what he was doing. He didn't know if there was anything he could say to her to make it right, he just spoke her name "River" She spun around, flinging dishwater on him and the floor from her wet hands, her face was flushed and her eyes pleading "Don't Jayne, don't make it dirty." He stammered " I I guess I didn't think everything through, I never meant to to " he couldent finish. She went to him, her eyes emotion filled sought his. " It was inevitable, progressive, I loved the picnics, the dancing….last night….. I never even thought of half of that stuff…." Jayne looked at her, longing to convey his true feelings " you didn't hurt me, scar me. " She leaned into him, rubbing her check against his chest. Jayne felt a little relief, she pulled on his tshirt pulling him closer to her level so she could whisper in his ear. He stood up in shock, watching as she jiggled in her giggles. He looked at her in wonder, " So's I take it you ain't bothered by my 'dreams', cause ya know I wouldn't hurt ya, Right? Wouldn't try nuthin funny, nuthin you wouldn't want?" Jayne saw her face burn as she gave him a wondering look, her giggles subsiding. Jayne went on "Taint right , nor fair to have ta check my own thoughts, I know I been thinkin on ya, couldn't stop ifn I wanted ta" She finally smiled at him " course you've been botherin me. Wasn't that the point?" Something in her voice totally relieved Jayne " Hell yeah, that was the point, now when you say 'bother'…, and I am not a tease!" River blushed but recovered quickly " I am quite impressed Jayne, both your wakeful and dream techniques are so skillful and …detailed, makes a girl wonder…" Jayne was surprised, she was blatenly flirting with him now and he loved banter " ya don't gotta wonder little girl, ya might be a genius but theres still plenty I could teach ya" he boldly traced his finger across her cheek and down her neck, reveling in the heat it brought to him.

She looked wantonly up at him "Maybe I should take lessons"

Emboldened, Jayne encircled her waist and pulled her against him "Betcha you'ra A student" River sighed deeply as she rubbed herself against him " I always was top of my class" Jayne couldn't take it any more "Schools bout to begin, lets git to my bunk"

The following week Mal felt compelled to talk to his Merc He had seen little of him lately and when he did he seemed both worn out and exceedingly cordial, well for Jayne.

"Jayne"

"Yeah, Mal?"

Mal didn't exactly know how to begin, as far as he knew Jayne hadn't been slacking off his work nor causing and friction as he naturally did.

"Uh, How are things?"

"What things? Mal"

"Don't know, just don't seem yourself"

"How so Mal?"

"Cant rightly put my finger on it, aint workin ya too hard, am I?"

Jayne could tell Mal had no idea River had been spending the bulk of her nights in his bunk being 'tutored'

"Naw, Mal, just aint as young as I used to be is all"

Mal was a little surprised to hear Jayne admit something like that

"Yeah, guess that's true for most of us, been feelin a might long in the tooth myself watchin our pilot dance around everywhere. That girl got more energy than all the rest of us combined, don't seem right. She says she's a blossoming flower, takin a course in womanhood. Hmmph maybe ought to git Inara to have a talk with her"

Jayne smiled. "Just growin up, Mal. Bout time dontcha think? Things she does shouldn't be done by a child"

Mal couldn't know that jayne was thinking about his very apt pupil's nighttime studies

"Guess your right bout that, pilot, fighter, and recon"

Just then River came leaping into view piroeting and laughing, she blew a kiss tword the men before twirling out of sight.

"huh, strange" Mal commented both on river's behavior and the smile on Jayne's face.

The end