A/N: Seriously, this all came about from Queenie and I discussing how amazing Cole Hauser and Karl Urban's tongues were. *sigh* How sad we are. But then we came up with this idea and I forced her into tag-teaming the writing with me. Just a mildly smutty, slightly cute little piece for you. This could go with my Bondmates verse, but isn't specific to it, so it could easily just be an AU where Johns ended up surviving the transport crash. Enjoy!

Riddick had an amused grin on his face. Leaning back in the throne that graced the Lord Marshal's quarters, a hand lazily stroked the head of a Hellhound. Johns and Vaako were currently engaged in the most inane argument. It was all the Furyan could do to hold back a laugh- he had to though as he was not getting involved.

"Just stop right there," the blonde demanded. "Everyone knows I have the best tongue."

Vaako raised a brow, not saying a word.

It was then Johns got that wicked look on his face, lips quirking as he leaned in towards the Necro, noses almost touching. His eyelids drooped slightly, his voice a purr as he added, "Besides… I've never heard any complaints from you."

Vaako made the mistake of opening his mouth because no sooner had he then Johns' tongue was licking inside. The former merc twisted a hand into Vaako's shirt, not allowing him to pull away. His tongue flicked across the Necro's lips before moving to his ear, licking around the shell of it before nibbling on the lobe.

Vaako shivered before pulling away. "Well neither have you, I might add," Vaako pointed out. Before Johns could utter a word, Vaako pushed him down on the bed, pulling his shirt to the side and latching onto his collarbone.

Vaako nuzzled there before letting his tongue dart out, slowing licking the area. He let his teeth drag, giving the sting that he knew Johns loved. He moved along, pushing more shirt out of the way to get to Johns' chest. He slowly circled his tongue around a nipple, giving Johns a devilish smirk before sucking the bud into his mouth. He pulled away from his task long enough to remove Johns' shirt fully and move over to his other nipple.

The Necro levered himself over Johns, licking his bottom lip. "I don't see you complaining now that I don't have the best tongue," Vaako said, bumping noses with the blonde.

Torn between affection and anger, Johns ended up reacting in a combination of both. Lunging up, he captured Vaako's mouth in a biting kiss. With a low growl he flipped their positions. He looked awfully proud of himself, legs bracketing the Necro's hips as he sat up. Sticking his tongue out, Johns curled it sideways as he so often did, making an absolutely irresistible sight.

"No one said you didn't have a good tongue Pretty Boy, just that mine was better."

He proceeded to help the Necro out of his own shirt, letting his tongue swipe across a nipple teasingly. Lowering himself down, he left a trail of kitten licks and nips along Vaako's ribs, relishing every little gasp of pleasure. His tongue dove into the man's belly button, causing him to chuckle.

That turned into a moan as Johns started to ever so slowly move Vaako's pants down his body. The blonde nipped at an exposed hip before moving to the other. His tongue darted out along the dip of his pelvis before sucking on the spot. Guilty enough, Johns enjoyed marking his partners probably as much as Riddick did, and he was working on a good hickie at the moment.

All the while, Riddick was watching with unveiled interest. Only his lovers could argue over things like this, let alone trying to decide the winner with sex. Well, he was just going to sit back and see how it all unfolded. He knew he'd said he wasn't getting involved in their squabble; however he might reconsider with how beautiful the pair was looking in the moment.

Vaako groaned, dragging Johns back up so that he could kiss him. He bit the blonde's bottom lip before flipping them back over, shimmying out of his pants. He unbuttoned Johns' cargos, pushing them down his thighs before focusing his attention on his stomach.

He looked at Johns, his green eyes smoldering as he swiped his tongue up his abdomen. He then pinned Johns' arms down while licking a path further down his pelvis. "The more you struggle, the longer I take," Vaako murmured, air puffing out to tickle his pubic hair.

"I wouldn't struggle if you'd hurry up! That's how we know I have the best tongue," Johns sniped.

Vaako sunk his teeth into the flesh of Johns' hip before licking the burn away. "Sure Johns, if that's what you believe."

"Oh fuck off," he gripped, gritting his teeth a moment as Vaako set about copying his earlier marking. "No reason to be jealous."

Yet it was easy to shut Johns up. All it required was a long lick to his member, base to tip. It caused him to mewl, keening towards Vaako's mouth. There was a smirk on the Necro's face, satisfied he was winning their little tiff. He wrapped his tongue around the head of Johns' cock, enjoying the soft moan it caused. Vaako continued to tease, working his lover into a pile of goo on the bed.

He was caught off-guard though by a frustrated growl and was shoved backwards onto the bed. The blonde was giving him a hard stare, settled between his legs. "Don't think you're winnin' this one Vaako," he grunted. And here the Necro was thinking Johns was just tired of the teasing.

Before Vaako had a chance to retort, he was swallowed whole. There was no holding back his loud moan, nor did he miss Johns smiling around his dick. The man was far too sure of himself, but then again, when he started to curl his tongue like that, Vaako couldn't blame him. Johns flicked his tongue over the slit before moving it around the head, the Necro's fingers digging into the sheets at the sensation.

Riddick had since lost his reserve and was no longer content with simply watching what was on full display for him. Getting up, he slinked over to the bed, settling down behind Johns. His fingers slipped into blonde curls, getting hold of them before yanking back. The former merc whimpered a bit as he sat up on his knees, neck bent back in offer.

"Not leavin' me outta this party," the Furyan graveled out, "are you?"

Vaako's chest rose and fell with a bit more force than usual, his green eyes blown out in desire as he gazed up at the pair.

"Not at all," Johns purred out. "We were just waitin' for ya to join us so that you could tell us who the winner is. I nominate myself."

Vaako rolled his eyes, "You always nominate yourself, which is why we always try to outdo each other with Riddick as the judge."

Johns shrugged as much as he could with his neck still bared, "I didn't think you minded Riddick. It does lead to sex…"

Riddick shook his head at the pair. He craned his neck to kiss Johns and then leaned over to share a kiss with Vaako. The two managed to push Riddick down between them and started taking off his tank and pants.

The trio traded kisses and licks, rolling around in the massive bed before settling in the center. Each of his partners were showering Riddick with affection. The Furyan knew though that it had only a little to do with their little pissing contest and more to do with their mutual love. That was only proven when they paid just as much attention to each other as to him.

Riddick watched their tongues twinning together before their lips connected, fingers twirling raven braids while others hooked into blonde curls. They were an irresistible sight and Riddick found himself licking his lips, biting back a moan. Worse, the pair knew exactly what they did to him and were completely shameless about it.

"Y'know…" he mentioned, drawing their attention. There was no missing their kiss-swollen lips, shining from swapped spit and looking completely debauched. Somehow Riddick managed to continue on his train of thought, "Can't we just agree that both your tongues are completely sinful and get down to the having sex part?"

Johns' cocky grin and Vaako's coy smile spoke volumes- in the end, they were all winners.