A/N: I stumbled upon the quote in the summary recently and just couldn't help but think of Jane and Lisbon! I know there are lots of tags to Blue Bird, but I wanted to write one. I know that I won't ever get sick of them!
"Meeting you was fate. Becoming your friend was a choice. But falling in love with you- I had no control over."
-Anonymous
He didn't quite know for sure the moment his feelings for her changed. The moment he no longer looked at her as purely his friend, his colleague- his partner. The moment her smiles began to be the things he looked forward to seeing every day, the things he tried desperately to bring out of her. The moment when he realized that without her, there was no him.
Meeting her was by chance. His life was barely a life at all- he had one goal, and that was it. But after only a few months of knowing her, he began to realize that she was special. She was loyal, fiercely so- defending him and his crazy schemes even though they got her into trouble. She was courageous and brave, unflinching at the prospect of danger. And she took no nonsense from him, unlike most. He loved teasing her, just to see her pissed-off expression. It was adorable- the way her eyes narrowed as she glared at him, or the exasperated way she said his name.
Sometimes, he caught himself just staring at her. He made up excuses in his head; she was an attractive woman, why wouldn't he want to stare at her? But it was more than that. His favorite pastime was pretending to be asleep on the new couch he'd bought for her office, but secretly watching her brow furrow in concentration over paperwork.
He knew he'd caused her a lot of grief over the years, but she never seemed to hold it against him. She was his most trusted companion- his confidant. She was there for him when no one else was.
Looking back, he realized that his love for her had been developing for a long time. You don't know what you have until it's gone. He knew that all too well. But it didn't just apply to his family. It applied to her, too. Because when he left her for six months and fled to Las Vegas in an attempt to trick Red John, he felt like a piece of his heart was no longer with him. He tried to brush it off, telling himself that he hadn't been close to someone in ages. Missing her was natural. But missing the way she punched his arm when he was pissing her off, or the way her hair smelt of tropical coconuts? Not so normal, he knew.
The thing was, he knew the exact moment that he had fallen in love with Angela. He had been pursuing her for a long time before she finally agreed to run away with him. He was in love with the idea of love- of sharing his life with the girl whose eyes twinkled with mischief but who was shy and needed him. He liked being needed.
He never planned on falling in love again- not after having his heart torn out so brutally. But after meeting her, the woman who seemed to need nobody because she was so tough, he began to realize that he had no control over it.
After he had ended it- killed Red John- he felt like he could finally let go. Angela and Charlotte would always be a part of him, but he knew they would want him to move on and be happy. The two years spent in South America felt like twenty, with every moment away from her seeming impossibly long. But when they had been reunited, he finally admitted it to himself- and was almost ready to admit it to her, too.
He was in love with her.
He couldn't imagine his life without her in it.
He never thought he'd end up baring his soul on a plane in front of a few hundred strangers. But when his plan to make her stay in Miami went up in flames and she really was going to leave, he knew that it was now or never. If she left, she'd marry Marcus Pike and live happily ever after with him in D.C. And if that was what she wanted, then he would try to be okay with it. But he had to be sure that that was what she wanted. And the only way that he could be sure was to tell her how he really felt.
After their lips separated and he opened his eyes, he let the smile he'd been suppressing bloom.
"I love you."
Falling in love with Teresa Lisbon was something he never had control over. And he hated not being in control. But this? He didn't mind one bit.
