DBCA-Ey oh all! I am's 'ere an' iffin u cain't anderstand mee join de clup...we 'ave plushies. Anyway! 'tis a story 'mazin' ain't it! So...Seran you do it I need a cookie.

Seran-Yo! Just for the record, I have a bit of a fixation with Sony VAIO FE-890's, cuz they're beautiful and bring out the technosexual in me. You'll understand when you read this chapter, don't worry! Well...it has taken us a long time and much grief (not really but 'tever), but we are proud to present:

When I Die, Cremate My Computer

Disclaimer: If we owned Naruto, do you really think that the only yaoi in it would be in chapter 347?

Story Start----------------------------------------------------------------------ENJOY!!!!----------------------------------------------------------------------Story Start

Naruto sighed and looked at his board…well at least what was left of it. 'Crap I can't believe my board got so killed! Jiji said this was the last one he was going buy me…' That was the last time he tried to grind a broken rail. 'So, if my boards killed over there why am I safe over here?' He twisted his head up and peered into sea green eyes.

"Hey…you out of your simple-minded daze yet, Blondie?" Gaara dropped him when he saw that the other skater would be able to stand on his own.

"You suck go die!…err…thanks for catching me…I guess," Naruto looked at the ground embarrassed. He had just been caught (and dropped) by the number one freaking goth in the whole freaking school! What are the chances of someone like him coming here?!?

"Looks like your board got pretty fucked up," the redhead stated, dropping his own and placing one foot on it. "You're lucky I was beneath you when you fell."

"Yeah I know! I so could've killed myself!" the blonde gave a foxy grin to the other teen and finally picked himself up off the ground. "So why are you here?…Not that I'm not glad 'cause you know…I'd be…well yeah…so…" Shaking his head, Gaara skated over to the trashed board and picked it up to inspect it.

"You really did a number on it…I don't think even my brother can fix it…" he trailed off and looked back at the blonde. "You'll have to get a new one; perhaps you should just give up, though? This is the fifth board I've seen you with in a month." Taking it back to Naruto, he shoved it into his hands. "Well, I'm goin' home. Maybe you should see if Kankurou can actually fix it."

Naruto's head slumped in defeat, "But, I…I…Hey! This was only my fourth board!! And, I don't suck as badly as you think…my ankle…But that's beside the point…And I don't know who the hell your brother is!! Plus you never said why you were here!! Dangit don't walk away from me!!!" Naruto caught the angst ridden boy by the arm. Said boy stared at him in disbelief.

"Did you just say…dangit? What the hell? What happened to 'dammit'? Just follow me to my house or something, I don't care. If you're gonna come, then hurry up." He hopped off his board so Naruto could keep up if he decided to follow him, and then set off down the street. "And why the hell do you think I was there? Did you not see the skateboard? BAKA!!! I was there for the same reason you were!…only without the falling and being caught by random strangers…"

Naruto watched the redhead stunned, "W-wait! I so saw the skateboard! It's just everyone says that this street is haunted or some stupid crap like that…So, you know I figured…you were…and just so you know I live this way!…" Naruto faded off, "plus the rail normally isn't broken!"

---

Neji frowned at the raven in front of him. Now why exactly was he going to Sasuke's crazy relatives' house? 'If it wasn't for Deidara and his hair tips I wouldn't go near that house without a 39 ½ foot pole.' He looked around at the small lower-middle-class houses, 'And how can anyone related to Sasuke live in such a plebian neighborhood?' A stray skateboard proved his point. With a sigh Neji sped up, falling in-step with Sasuke, 'Well whatever works…'

Sasuke shot his on-again, off-again boyfriend a look.

"You don't want to be here, do you?" He slung an arm around the brunet's shoulders, pulling him closer to his side.

Neji pulled his impassive mask on, "Iie bitsuni."

The raven made a face at him. "Ah, we'll be quick. I just wanted to say 'hi' to my cousin and his boyfriends. And, you know you want Deidara's hair tips!" They reached the house, which was considerably nicer than the surrounding buildings. Instead of knocking, Sasuke merely opened the door, having visited Tobi too many times to bother with politeness.

"Tobi! Dei-chan! Sasori!" he shouted, slipping his shoes off.

Neji slipped his shoes off too, already used to Sasuke and his family. Before he could follow Sasuke, a yellow blur grabbed him.

"Neji-chan!!" the blonde shrieked happily, hugging him. "It's been forever!! Why don't you ever come to visit?" he pouted sadly, letting his big blue eyes start to water.

Neji blinked impassively save a twitch in his eye. "One-I'm not a girl, don't call me chan. Two-I don't come over because you're insane! Three-" the look on Deidara's face cut him off. His bottom lip was trembling, fake tears threatening to spill over.

"You don't…love me, un?" he whimpered. In the background, Sasuke was grinning at the blonde's antics. The raven turned when he heard his cousin speak.

"Ne, ne Sasu-chan I'm so glad you visited!! It's so boring without you around! I mean there are only old people around here-" Arms wrapped around his waist.

"What were you saying about old people?" purred Sasori.

"S-Sasori-senpai!! Wha-what a-are…you…"

"Sasori-danna!" Deidara called, suddenly reversing his mood. "Look who's come to visit me! It's Neji, un!"

"Like I said! I'm not visiting…you…" Neji trailed off. Deidara was acting like a kicked puppy again.

"Demo…Neji-chan…I wub you!!!" The blonde proceeded to choke the brunet.

By this time, Sasuke was ignoring the two, and opted for following Sasori and Tobi into the moderately clean, albeit tiny, kitchen to help them prepare lunch.

"Ah, Sasori-danna, Baka-chan, wait up!" Deidara gripped Neji's arm and bounced after the retreating trio.

"So, what's for lunch, un?" he asked brightly, plopping onto a chair and pulling the brunet down with him, forcing him to sit on the next chair over. The blonde propped his feet up on the table, hoping Sasori wouldn't scold him for it.

Wanting to make life hard for the petit Deidara, Sasuke silently tugged on the redhead's sleeve and pointed. Scowling, Sasori whirled and glared at his uke, immediately laying into him.

"Deidara. Why exactly are your, disgusting clay encrusted feet on my clean table!" The red head ranted until he was merely background noise.

Tobi leaned over the table and grinned in Sasuke's face, "Ohhhhhh Sasu-chan! I have a present for you!!" He reached into his swirly orange bag and pulled out a neon pink and yellow polka dotted present. "Here you go!" Sasuke stared in horror at the flamboyant gift.

'What…the…fuck…?' "Um…thanks…" he accepted the present and set it on the table to unwrap it. Deidara grinned as the paper was torn away.

"I helped pick out the wrapping paper, un. Pretty, ne?" Sasuke cringed and meekly agreed, scared of the blonde's (possibly explosive) response were he to disagree. The object the hideous paper concealed was worth the eye damage he suffered.

"The laptop I wanted…" Sasuke stared in shock. A pitch black Sony VAIO FE-890 lay in front of him. "Thank you so much!" He launched himself around the table and hugged Tobi fiercely before carting his new computer to the living room and setting it on the arm of the chair by the window. Neji followed him, watching in amusement as he curled up on the chair to set up everything on his laptop how he wanted him, before leaning on the window sill and staring out.

Neji gazed disinterestedly at the sky his ADD hitting him full force. Ohh look there was a cloud, and hey a plane, was that a bird? Hmm, pretty butterfly, hey two really cute, sexy ukes…wait, what now?! Neji did a double take and yep, there were two very fine pieces of eye candy outside, a smexy red head and an adorable blonde. "Hey Sasuke come over here…" Sasuke looked up irritably.

"Whaaat?" The look of dumbstruck awe and lust on Neji's face convinced him to join his friend at the window.

"I…" Sasuke couldn't find words to express just how smexy the two boys outside were. Wait a minute…

"That's Gaara!"

"Gaara?"

Did Sasuke know one of the hot guys out there? Neji felt so jealous. How come Sasuke knows one of them! Why not him!? Wasn't he good enough? But, that just meant he had to work twice as hard to get the blonde's heart!

"Before you get too incredibly jealous, Gaara is in my math class," the Uchiha said dryly. "I'm not having some sort of secret romance with him. But damn, he's brilliant. He never gets the first highest grades, I refuse to be less than the best, but he's almost always second." The two boys stood in silence after that, drooling after the two skaters until they disappeared around a corner.

"Sooo, his name's Gaara, explain…"

---

Naruto huffed, why was he following some stranger to his house, anyway? Oh right, his board. But, this was definitely the way to his house, so did that mean Gaara lived somewhere near him? They took a left turn onto a dead end street, the street before his own. 'You mean someone my age actually lives down here!' He was so lost in his thoughts he didn't notice Gaara stop. He walked into the red head in front of him, "Ouch! Why the heck did you stop?!"

"Baka…this is my house," Gaara said, slapping him on the back of his head. "Now come on!" They turned up the driveway and, right before they reached the door, frantic shouting came from inside.

"KANKUROU!!" a female yelled as a large crash was heard. "You idiot! What did you do?!"

"Ahh, I'm sorry!" a boy yelped. "I was just trying to fix the stove!"

"It. Wasn't. BROKEN!" Gaara rolled his eyes as he opened the door.

"Stupid Kankurou. Don't worry, Uzumaki, he may be a menace to all things mechanical, but he knows how to fix broken boards." They entered to a scene of chaos. Temari had Kankurou's pinned against the wall via fan.

Naruto paled, just what had he gotten himself into? Kankurou looked over at the open door hoping his savior had come to save him. 'Please let it be a hot girl! Or Kiba!' What he saw was far from relieving. His demonic brother came in with some blonde bishie, but no girl and no Kiba, darn…

"Ne, Kankurou, fix Naruto's board for him," Gaara requested, slipping his shoes off and gesturing for Naruto to do the same. Naruto obeyed then handed the middle Sabaku child his trashed skateboard. Kankurou muttered to himself as he looked it over; suddenly, he seemed to remember something, and he looked up, glaring at his little brother.

"What's in it for me?" Gaara smirked.

"I'll try to get Kiba to break up with his girlfriend."

"Deal."

"KIBA!" Naruto shouted, "How do you know Kiba? And what do you mean get him to break up?! Do you know how long Kiba belly ached about having to pick between Hinata and some dude named…Kankurou…oh, that was you…"

"Of course, he doesn't really need to pick," Kankurou grinned lecherously, "he could always bring her over for a threesome." Naruto and Gaara gagged.

"That's sick, Kankurou! Who'd wanna have a threesome with a girl?!" Gaara couldn't contain his disgust.

Naruto blinked, Gaara was gay? Hmm, well he could just be asexual…but it wasn't really any of his business, besides, Gaara was getting his board fixed and it wasn't like the jade-eyed teen liked him.

Gaara shot Naruto a glance out of the corner of his eyes. He didn't seem to be taking it badly, but you never know….

Kankurou snorted and walked out of the hallway and towards his bedroom, mentally making a list of what he would need to fix the blonde's board. The two hurried after him, Naruto chattering away after recovering from his brief moment of shock. The three stopped abruptly; Temari stood in their way, hands on her hips and a scowl on her face.

"Where," she hissed,"do you think you are going, Sabaku no Kankurou?" He eeped softly and vaguely gestured behind him to the pair who were following him. Gaara stood there, impassively listening to the blonde's idle chatter about everything and nothing. Temari looked taken aback.

"Gaara…who's this?" she asked, all ire forgotten. He shrugged a little.

"Uzumaki Naruto," he muttered, looking down and to one side. "Idiot trashed his board, so I told him Kankurou would fix it."

The she-blond was doing cartwheels on the inside. Her little Gaara was growing up! And more importantly he had a friend! A friend that didn't want to crawl into a corner and die after meeting his family! She smiled and moved to one side; if Gaara needed the puppet head idiot for his friend then so be it…but he was sooo paying for the stove!

Naruto grinned from ear to ear as he talked Gaara's ear off. He finally had a friend that didn't use him to meet girls or dress him up as one! Gaara was completely normal, by Naruto's standards at least. Not only that but he was getting his board fixed! Was today awesome or what?

A/N So? How'd ya like it?

GAH! No cookies!!!!!!!!! TT-TT But you know what? You can cheer me up from being blue, all you have to do is send us a REVIEW!