Prince Arthur and the Holy Grail

Arthur's Noble Steed

Merlin held the coconut halves tightly in his hands and asked, incredulous, "What manner of tomfoolery is this?"

To which Arthur simply replied, "Merlin, will you be my noble steed?"

"Are you drunk?"

Ignoring the question, Arthur grabbed the coconuts and banged them together rhythmically. "It sounds just like horse hooves, doesn't it Merlin?"

Merlin raised his eyebrows. "I see."

"But," Arthur began. "You have to do it in a certain way. You can't just knock them together willy-nilly like a drunkard's mug against a table."

If possible, Merlin's eyebrows rose even higher. "Not like a drunk, you say?"

Arthur handed the coconuts back to Merlin. "Now do it exactly as I showed you."

"Surely, you can't be serious…"

"Are you daft? My name is Arthur, you twit. Now, I order you to do exactly what I showed you."

The eyebrows scrunched together now. "I really don't think…"

"I've not ordered you to think; now you shall do as I say! Bang those coconuts, you idiot!"

Even as Merlin muttered, "Oh, I'm the idiot," he obeyed his prince. He banged the coconuts with much less enthusiasm than Arthur had shown him.

Aghast, Arthur snatched the coconuts away once more as if they were his babies and Merlin had just tried to eat them. "What was that? That was disgraceful! You're not even trying." He demonstrated once more, and then handed the would-be hooves back over with a warning look in his eyes. "Now try again."

Rolling his own eyes, Merlin did as he was told with mock enthusiasm. His eyebrows were raised high, mouth wide with a fake toothy grin. He was sure this would anger Arthur further.

But nay, instead Arthur nodded sagely. "Yes, yes. That's brilliant! Keep going."

Merlin stared at him as if he had just revealed that he and Gwen were Siamese twins separated at birth. He stopped his actions, nearly dropping the coconuts, to which Arthur responded, "No, no! Why did you stop? You were doing so well."

Astonished at how serious Arthur seemed to be, he asked, "Before I continue, may I ask as to why I'm doing this…exactly?"

Arthur snorted. "I need a horse for my quest, you ninny."

"Your quest…" Merlin repeated, wondering if he had not cleaned his ears as thoroughly as he had thought. "And what quest might that be?"

Arthur spread his arms gallantly. "The quest for my Knights of the Round Table!"

Merlin raised an eyebrow. "Your table? The one in your chambers, you mean? It's really more rectangular than round."

"Well, then get it to the carpenter! And pack my things! We leave in an hour!" With that, Arthur flounced out of the room.

Merlin thrust out a hand after him, shouting, "Wait! How long am I packing for?"

An hour later, Arthur could be seen skipping toward the sun setting in the east. He held his hands aloft as if he gripped the pommel of his noble steed's saddle.

Behind him, Merlin trudged, laden with the burden of both of their travelling packs. He stocked up for a month, just in case. Despite being exhausted, he continued to bang the coconuts together; if he dared cease, Arthur would turn around and lob insults at him like the tomatoes hurled at him when he is in the stocks until he continued.

A/N: If you so please, read everything after the break while playing this music:

http:/ www. youtube. com /watch?v=TJWHDdhq1CI&feature=feedf (without the spaces)