Jiro mochizuki… full moon…
Light shown from the outside into the small wooden window, of a tiny apartment by the sea. No sounds, no movement… nothing… filled the room of a smoking, and somewhat reluctantly unpleasant Nightray. Here he was, smoking again, even though he had promised himself no more… What was it that made him so… depressed? Only then would he smoke… only then…
Gilbert sighed, releasing a puff of smoke into the quiet room. Yes… he was depressed… he was always depressed… ever since…
"No!", he told himself, in his mind, remaining quiet. "I mustn't think about… about…". And he left it at that. Nothing, absolutely nothing, changed. It had always been this way… ever since…
"B-Rabbit…".
Gilbert despised the thought of her… that blasted chain! Worth nothing! Useless! Then why… why did he choose her?
It all started five years ago… Oz Vessalius returned from hell- the Abyss- all on his own, or at least that is what Gilbert tried to believe. Many a night prior did he roam the hallways of Pandora… searching… wondering… when they would successfully recover the lost soul of his Master. But day in and day out, he was given only answers of "Someday, Gilbert… someday…". Every answer he refused to keep… his only reliance was for Oz to return quickly- and safely- as soon as possible. He knew that if his Master remained in Abyss for any length of time, bad occurrences were inevitable to happen… it was because of this that Gilbert had gone to the extreme…
First, Gilbert became adopted by the Nightray House- unwillingly- and reunited with his younger brother, Vincent. He joined Pandora secretly, and, following Xerxes Break's orders of being "his Left Eye", observed the Nightrays closely in order to obtain the information Break wanted. Gilbert learned to use a gun- quickly- at a very young age. But, it is in all honestly that the greatest risk Gilbert took to recover his Master was to join, in contract, with the captured Chain of the Nightray Household- Raven. After successfully contracting with Raven, Gilbert's hopes of regaining Oz were high. He believed Oz would return to the surface as quickly as he had left… to his dismay, soon was not soon enough. Break and Sharon would always be chit chatting about Chains and the Abyss, but never about Oz. It was as though only he knew, or even had the slightest concern, for Oz. He would sit on lonely benches outside of the Rainsworth mansion, feeling anxiety only he could handle… eventually, Gilbert's depression took hold of him, and a few years after learning an easy way to deal with these problems, starting smoking. He enjoyed the habit… it gave him an excuse not to talk to people, especially Break. Occasionally, Gilbert would pop a few- shots, that is- in order to control his emotions when cigarettes could not handle the job themselves. As a result, Gilbert became a mad drunk, only when he needed to be, because his weak vessel could not contain the feelings he held back, ever since that day… that day… that day…
That day was never forgotten… the clock tower dong, the exclaimed faces of the people… worst of all, the infringement of the Baskervilles during Oz's coming-of-age ceremony. He… did not quite remember the details, for he had been possessed by the infamous Zwei Baskerville for the majority of the ceremony. He did, however, snap into it, perhaps at the wrong time… he will never truly know. But it is the mark on his chest that bears the entirety of the memory he promised not to forget. Gilbert prevented Oz from wounding Oz's father as a means to protect his Master from making a big mistake. The scar represented a lesser pain than that consequence created from Oz's supposed sin of the Abyss, so it did not bother Gilbert… only in the memory did such a scar hurt… only in the memory of the person he loved enduringly… lost…
Gilbert's faith in his Master soon prevailed… after ten years of waiting, wishing, hoping… Oz Vessalius returned to the surface he once walked freely upon. Gilbert recalled running towards the fallen body of his Master, holding him in his arms, and feeling his cheek just to ensure that Oz was alive. Without even considering the fact that Oz was still in the form of a fifteen-year old, Gilbert wept a tear of joy, which fell directly on the white garb that Oz wore last, to Gilbert's recollection. There were so many things he had wanted to say to his Master over the past ten years… they were racing in his mind like a wildfire. He looked at the timid… unconscious face of Oz. His lips were softly joined… his emerald eyes closed. Gilbert, with so much to say and unaware of what to do, moved his face closer to Oz's, closing his eyes, overwhelmingly… emotionally unstable. He did not know what he was doing... but he knew it was right. Gilbert held the body of his Master close to his chest, feeling the warmth he had so long anticipated for now in reality. Everything was perfect…
Break and Sharon came to their side as quickly as Gilbert had to Oz's. The two mingled amongst themselves, intimidating Gilbert to the extent that he was forced to carry his Master up to the Rainsworth's guest bedroom, without even implying to Oz what he had felt over the years… alone… without him…
After he was fully recovered, Oz woke up, unaware that ten years had passed since the ceremony. Gilbert, having been the first person Oz saw, was startled to find Oz recognized him… but it took some time- and an alliance with Break- before Oz actually realized Raven, as he was called, was, in reality, his servant, Gil. But… it never really mattered… prior to such realities stemmed the well known fact that Oz had indeed signed an illegal contract with a Chain, the same one that had appeared at Oz's ceremony and recked havoc for the Baskervilles- the Blood- Stained Black Rabbit, known as B- Rabbit, and, in human form, Alice. Gilbert's heart took a dive when he found out the truth behind Oz's reappearance. He never wanted his dream to turn into a nightmare. By being an illegal contractor, Oz had set himself up for an inevitable death sentence, something many believed had already taken place from birth. Gil was heartbroken… but not simply because of the black rotating mark on Oz's chest. He was shattered… and very pissed at the one who had allowed such a thing to occur… B- Rabbit. It was because of her that Oz would die early… because of her that he would eventually lose the person he loved… and it was because of her that Oz even considered signing the contract in the first place. Such meant everything Gilbert had sacrificed- his family, his job, his sanity- for Oz, was worth nothing in the end. It left a hole deeper than the scar… a dark… black hole… in his heart. And yet… and yet… Oz loved her. He could not resist the stupid antics the Rabbit made when she was around them, and her constant craving for meat. He loved her abusive beating of he when he supposedly was not a good manservant. Above all, he loved the way her eyes shone in the sunlight, and the smile on her face when no one else understood the situation. To Oz, Alice was heaven… she must have been, why else would he be…
Gilbert reached for the packet of cigarettes in his pocket. He refused to accept it…
His Master, Oz Vessalius, was engaged to be married to Alice B- Rabbit, the Chain. Gilbert's heart wrenched whenever he thought about it. Five years had passed since Oz returned to the surface… five years! And already he was considering getting married to… a Chain? It was unheard of! Yet… no one seemed to mind. Sharon was to be Alice's bridesmaid. Break was to be the ring bearer. And Oscar Vessalius, Oz's uncle, was to marry the two off. The sickest part of the whole thing, in Gilbert's eyes, was that Oz had asked him personally to be his best man… and he accepted. It was to be the worst day of Gilbert's life… standing up for the man who never knew… who will never know… he loved him. Everything… everything meant nothing once those two tied the knot… five years seemed longer than ten in their eyes… sickening… damn sickening…
Gilbert walked over to the window and leaned against the side of it, the light from the moon slightly reflecting off of his white shirt. He knew the day would come tomorrow that would ultimately change his life forever… and nothing, absolutely nothing, would ever be the same. He felt regretful.
"Why didn't I tell him my true feelings when I had to chance? Am I that useless?".
He felt remorse.
"I feel sorry for Oz… having to live with that Stupid Rabbit for the rest of his life!".
He felt angry.
"THAT DAMN BLACK RABBIT STOLE MY OZ AWAY FROM ME!"
Worst of all, he felt… unbearably depressed.
"I should just… end my life before anything else happens to me…".
Gilbert knew a greater horror than ending his life would be to stand up at his love's wedding. He sighed, taking another cigarette from the pack and disposing of the old one on the floor.
"If I must do it, let it be quick and easy… now…" .
Gilbert, after having lit his cigarette for one last time, took out the gun from his coat pocket. Moving his finger diligently over the trigger, Gilbert pointed the gun at his head, closing his eyes, taking one last puff before…
"GIL!".
Gilbert's eyes opened wide.
"Oz?".
"No, silly! Gilbert… it's me! Jack! Jack Vessalius!", exclaimed the familiar voice. Gilbert sighed.
"Oh… ok then…", said Gilbert, moving his finger over the trigger again.
"NO! DON'T DO IT, GILBERT!".
"HUH?".
Jack Vessalius was standing right in front of him, his hand placed softly on the gun. Both men were surrounded by flowering trees in a garden much like those in Alyss's illusions. Petals fell from the sky onto both of them, their scent eminating sweetly throughout the scenery. Gilbert felt the pressure of Jack's hand on his gun, somehow preventing his conscience from going through with what he had originally planned. Gilbert tried to say something… unaware of what to say in a situation like this. Here was Jack- the self- proclaimed Hero of Sablier- standing before a pitiful man about to commit suicide. What could he POSSIBLY say to convince him that what he was doing was for the good of all… or, at least, in order to prevent a total nervous breakdown from occurring in the upcoming days? And how on EARTH could such a task be done without the mention of Oz? It was impractical, impossible… and overly dramatic on his part. So… he decided to just let Jack do the explaining.
"What's going on… Gil…", said Jack with a frown. In all honestly, Gilbert had not the slightest idea himself. Gilbert waited a few seconds for Jack to say something, but, when the time came and there was no response, Gil had no choice but to answer.
"It's… it's complicated…".
"How so?", inquired Jack, looking at Gilbert with tears in his eyes. Gilbert had never seen Jack this upset… it was kind of intimidating.
"I… I don't know… Oz…". And he had mentioned his name. It was over… he tried not to say it, but he said it, and Jack, who seemed somewhat clueless before, now smiled a greedy smile upon hearing the two letter word.
"Oz… huh? Oz Vessalius?", said Jack with a smile and an apparent change of heart. Gilbert frowned.
"Is there any other Oz?", said Gilbert in a monotone voice. Jack's eyes gleamed in the sunlight.
"Now, Gil… why would you want to end your life? Is it to protect Oz? Or on account of someone else? Perhaps Alice?", said Jack, looking Gilbert in the eye. Gilbert felt the blood rise to his head.
"Why… would I EVER… protect her?", said Gilbert, trying to hold back his anger. Jack smiled.
"Maybe it's from a Chain… or the Will of Abyss… or a poison placed in Alice's meat… or…".
"I love him…".
"What was that?".
"I… love… OZ VESSALIUS!", exclaimed Gilbert, not holding back for once in his life. "Don't you… understand… I… I love him…", quieted down Gilbert, relaxing his tension upon saying those words. It was the first time he had ever told anyone his true feelings for Oz… he did not know what to expect next.
"My, my… Gilbert… is that all?", said Jack, smiling and with gleaming eyes again. Gilbert's eyes opened wide. His mouth was slightly open. Is that all? Does that mean… Jack approves, perhaps has all along?
"I knew you felt this way, Gilbert… ever since…". He paused. Jack slowly released his grip of Gilbert's gun, bringing his hand to his side. He smiled. "Ever since you first met Oz Vessalius…".
Gilbert suddenly remembered the first time he met Oz… he recalled being timid and very socially awkward… the only one who ever gave him a chance… a chance to belong… was Oz… he felt… so happy when in the presence of his Master… he was willing to do anything to please him… he knew… everything about his past… his favorite food… habits of reading… and his father. It did not take much to like Oz Vessalius… it took over ten years to love him. And Gilbert was sure… ever since… that time of absence… that Oz meant something more to him than could ever be explained in words. It was his absence that made him realize Oz was the light, life, and love he himself lacked alone. But… he was just a servant…
"I'm… just a servant…", said Gilbert, lowering his head a little, his gun still pointed at his head. Jack frowned slightly, than smiled again.
"And?".
"And what?".
"What does it matter?".
Jack was right… it did not matter. Oz remained a true companion even after he had returned from Abyss… and, at some time prior, considered himself a shield… a shield, protecting his servant from any harm headed his way. It was essential, than, that Oz would be there to protect Gilbert however and whenever needed… even if he was just a servant.
"But then… if Oz is always protecting me… when will I… when will I get to protect him? That's a servant's job, isn't it?", said Gilbert, looking at Jack, nearly whining. Jack smiled.
"A servant's job never compares to that of a friend's obligation to his Master…", said Jack, touching Gil's hair slightly. Yes… Gilbert was considered Oz's friend. They were comrades… they had always been. And it was Gilbert's obligation to be there for him when he needed him the most… like… his wedding…
"I… refuse to attend his wedding… even if… even if it means hurting Oz's feelings…". Gilbert frowned. He touched his forehead. What… was… he saying? He would NEVER even IMPLY hurting Oz's feelings… it all sounded like pure selfishness at this point…
"I'm… I'm sorry… I… I…", said Gilbert, his hand over his face, tears falling from his eyes… dropping his gun. "I CAN'T GO THROUGH WITH… WATCHING HIM LEAVE!". Gilbert collapsed to the ground, tears falling through both of his hands. Jack kneeled down, facing Gilbert with a smile.
"I… never asked you to… Gilbert…".
Gilbert uncovered his eyes. He looked at Jack with tears in his eyes.
"You've given up on everything… haven't you… Gilbert…", said Jack, looking contently at Gilbert. Gilbert stopped crying. He was now looking directly into Jack's eyes. Yes… everything… dissolved into nothing… Oz engaged… to B- Rabbit… meant… death… to him.
"So… you're gonna… let it happen then… huh?", said Jack, somewhat intimidating. Gilbert's eyes opened wide. He never considered… or even thought of… asking Oz if he loved him in return. His anxiety prevented logical thinking from falling through. By giving up on himself, he had given up on Oz… and now, with all the memories remaining, even he… his Master, his friend… his love… would be deeply affected if he knew that his loyal servant had ended his life without betting on reason… he was a fool… a damn fool…
"But… what do I say to him when he asks me why I called on him in the first place?", said Gil, wondering about how to approach Oz properly.
"Don't say anything… let your heart speak for you…", said Jack, covering Gil's eyes from behind. Remember… Gil… you are… essential… in determining… where your heart leads you next… whether it be… towards now… or towards eternity…".
"Don't make… the same mistake I did… don't let… your love… slip away from you… when all seems… to be lost…".
"And remember, Gil… remember…".
"OZ…".
Light shone on Gilbert's shirt again. He was leaning next to the window, the gun pointed at his head… his finger on the trigger. He did not know if all that he had seen was a dream, or just a sudden flash of thought… whatever it was, it was real… it was true…
Gilbert removed the gun from his head. He dropped it on the ground. Now was the time…
Gilbert felt his hand pound heavily on the door. He was anxious to express his true feelings… to the person most deserved of them. He pounded on the door again. No answer. He was not turning back now. Once more… and Liam Lunette answered.
"Gilbert?", said Liam, seemingly dazed. It made sense, for the time was about midnight. Gilbert was not hesitant to respond.
"I need to speak to Oz…".
"Oz… Vessalius? At this hour? Gilbert… you're… ha, ha… crazy…", said Liam, seemingly more dazed than before.
"Please, Liam… I need to tell him something important…".
"Well, then… tell me…".
"It's none of your concern… here… just let me…", said Gilbert, reaching his hand past the door. Liam blocked him from going past the doorway, extending both of his arms out.
"NO, NO! YOU MUSTN'T!", exclaimed Liam, refusing to let him pass.
"I HAVE THE RIGHT TO ENTER THIS MANOR HOW I WANT… WHEN I WANT! LET ME PASS!".
"No, Gilbert! You don't understand! Now's not the time to be playing games…".
"PLAYING GAMES? LET ME IN THIS HOUSE NOW!", said Gilbert, pushing Liam out of the way. Gilbert walked into the mansion with the skeptic Liam following him. Gilbert started to walk towards Oz's room… he turned the corner… and… something… someone… pulled him by the collar, forced him to the wall, and made love to him with a burning passion… and tongue. He tried several times to get out of the awkward position, but found it a difficult and nearly impossible task. He opened his eyes to find it was…
…
BREAK?!
"AH! GET OFF OF ME, YOU BASTARD!", exclaimed Gilbert when he was not in locked lips. Break stopped his affection.
"Ah… Gilbert- kun!", said Break with a smile.
"HA, HA! GILBERT KISSES GOOD!", exclaimed Emily with a laugh. Gilbert pushed Break away from him.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!", said Gilbert, backing away from Break. Break smiled.
"I must have mistaken you for someone else, Gilbert- kun!", exclaimed Break with a laugh and closing his eye. Gilbert… was not… amused.
"Who could you… POSSIBLY… have been waiting for… in these hallways… at twelve o' clock… at night…", said Gilbert, his eyebrow slightly twitching. Break opened his eye, smiling slightly. Liam was standing right behind Gilbert, his face covered in sweat. Break gave him a glance… and after a few seconds, closed his eye, smiled, held his arms out, scrunching his shoulders up.
"I don't know!", said Break cheerfully. Liam had a sudden burst of shock.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW! OBVIOUSLY IT WAS…". Liam paused. Maybe… he should not… have said it… QUITE like that… or at all…
Gilbert's eyes opened wide… so did his mouth. Break just stood there, not saying anything and smiling. Liam's face was covered with sweat. He took off his glasses and started to clean them vigorously. Somehow… without questioning how he did it… Break appeared behind Liam. He moved his face up against Liam's. Liam froze, dead in his tracks. Break smiled.
"Let's just… get him out of here… the sooner we do that, the sooner we…", muttered Break, his breath on Liam's neck. Liam said nothing. Goosebumps went up and down his spine. He stood up straight, put on his glasses, and looked at Gilbert. Gilbert stood there, not entirely sure what was going on. Unexpectedly, Break appeared behind Gilbert, holding on to his shoulders. Gilbert was shocked.
"COME, GILBERT- KUN!", said Break, escorting Gilbert in the direction of Oz's bedroom. Gilbert did not know what was going on… and really did not want to know, anyway. When they reached Oz's door, Break twiddled his fingers, closed his eye, smiled, and somehow managed to disappear again. Gilbert focused his attention on Oz. But… for some reason… he was now reluctant to knock on his door. He took a breath in, opened the door himself, and…
…
"SEAWEED HEAD!".
Gilbert left Oz's room with several bruises on his body. It turned out that Oz was having insomnia and was attending to it in the library… at least, that is what the Stupid Black Rabbit told him. Gilbert reluctantly headed for the Vessalius library, still unaware of what he was going to say to Oz. He reached the door. He moved his hand over to the knob... now or never… when or whenever… today was the day… tonight was just right… he had to… he must… confess his love… to Oz…
…
"Oz?".
Gilbert saw what he thought was his friend, his Master... tending to a fire with his robe on. He could not see his face, but knew who it was from the start. There was a very… very long pause.
…
"Gil…".
It was such a… monotone sound… not at all like Oz. He… seemed… uneasy… tired…
Depressed…
Gilbert stood there, looking at his Master. He took a few steps forward… feeling uneasy himself. What could he say now? Nothing… not while he is like this…
"So… you heard, huh? Ha, ha…", said Oz, trying to laugh… but finding it difficult. Gilbert looked at him eyes opened wide.
"It… was not meant to be… he, he… at least… that's what she told me…". Oz looked at Gilbert with… a very familiar smile… it reminded Gilbert of the time Oz had first found out about his father's hate for him…
"You think that, too… don't you, Gil…", said Oz, walking over to Gilbert. He grabbed his arm and looked up at him. He… how did he…
"But… it doesn't matter… I must… except the situation… I always have… and you… Gil… no matter what… you always seem… no, you always are… there for me… just when I need you the most… thank you… Gil…". Oz gave Gilbert a hug. Gilbert's arms sprang up in shock. His eyes were opened wide. Without telling him… without saying any words… the message Gilbert so longed to get through finally sunk… deep within the heart… of Oz…
"Oz…", said Gilbert quietly. His arms joined Oz in the hug.
"What?".
"I never thought… I would get the chance… to tell you…".
"Tell me what… Gil?".
"Oz… Oz…". Gilbert looked at Oz. He lifted his chin with his hand… they looked into each other's eyes. Tears were forming in Gilbert's eyes.
"I love you.".
He could not recall how long the embrace was… he could not remember what he was thinking when he said it… but Gilbert, after years of holding back, finally told Oz that he loved him. Oz, feeling the same way, told Gil he loved him, too. Now today, now forever… they are in each other's arms…
Forever… happily ever after…