Disclaimer: Maybe, if I was a good girl this year, Santa will grant my wish and leave the rights for Stargate: Atlantis under the tree with my name on them. Until then everything belongs to MGM.

Summary: Elisabeth thinks about why she has fallen for him. Weir/Lorne, reference to former Weir/Sheppard (kind of)

Rating: T / PG-13

Category: Romance (Oh my God, I'm writing Romance! Be aware of cheesyness!)

Author's Note: I need some time off from the longer story I'm currently writing. And this just popped up in my head.

Why him?

By IceCream Junkie

Although it was way past midnight in Atlantis she was still awake. She knew that she had to get up early, but there were too many thoughts buzzing through her head. Her gaze locked onto the man lying next to her. He lay on his side one arm over her belly. He looked so peaceful in his sleep. Yet it was his fault that she was still awake.

Elizabeth remembered the first time he was there for her when she needed a shoulder to cry on. It was one of the countless times John's team didn't come back as scheduled. She had been on the balcony, leaning against the wall with her head on her knees, arms tightly wrapped around them as she had let her tears flow. Suddenly there was a gentle touch on her upper arm. She had not noticed anybody enter. Her expression was startled and she didn't even think about hiding her tears. It would have been to late anyway, he had already heard her sobs. He had just pulled her into his arms and stroked her back.

"They're fine. You'll see."

Later on he had not mentioned her break down at all. This was something that she was particularly thankful for and he had never let her down after that. On the contrary, he just seemed to know when she was in need of a friend. He would show up at her office, leaving his latest report on her desk with a note sticking on it. They watched movies, had dinner together or just talked the whole night. Still she just thought about him as a friend.

At first she did not notice how her feelings changed. She had had that stupid crush on John for a long time and was probably so used to it she didn't question it. Then Lorne's team had not returned as scheduled. Since they were usually on time it had scared her more than John being late ever had. But what made it even worse was that now there was nobody who calmed her down and kept assuring her that everything would be fine. She had never noticed how much she depended on him.

That night she had not slept at all. The first thing she did when she finally got to her room was take a shower. Well, at least that had been her plan. She ended up exactly as she did when he first found her, arms wrapped around her knees sobbing while the warm water ran over her body. She didn't recall how long she had been in the bathroom. But she felt like she had cried for a long time. For the rest of the night she sat at the desk in her quarters and looked out of the window, but she didn't notice the beautiful night sky. Instead her thoughts were with the two men confusing her, it was then that she realised that John was just a good friend. Her heart belonged to somebody else.

The next time Evan Lorne's team had been attacked while on a mission, she had ended up in front of his door in the middle of the night. She had lifted her hand a couple of times but never actually knocked. She knew it wasn't a good idea. She shouldn't be here in the first place. But then she just did it. Whilst she waited for him to open the door she contemplated running away, pretending that she had never been there. But before she could do so, he opened the door.

Although he had clearly just woken up he realised right away that this wasn't his superior standing in front of him. He had looked up and down the hallway and let her in when he didn't see anybody. Thinking about it now, she realised how careful he had always been – and still was - concerned about nobody noticing that they spend so much time together. Right during that moment she was way too confused to think about anything like that. Her heart had seemed to skip until he had finally motioned for her to enter. She had started to fear he wouldn't let her inside.

"What's wrong, Liz?" he had asked her once the door had closed behind her.

"I..." she avoided his eyes. "I just wanted to know if you're ok." She could hear in his voice that he was smiling.

"I'm fine. No need to worry. I'll be able to go on another mission as soon as you need me to."

Her head shot up and her eyes went wide with fear. Tears had started to flood her eyes and she opened and clothed her mouth a few times but wasn't able to say anything. He had looked at her with concern on his face. It had seemed like forever until he pulled her into an embrace. She had let her head fall onto his shoulder. Her hands captured between their bodies. She hadn't realised that he didn't wear a shirt. Just PJ pants. She pressed her palm against his muscular chest.

When he had felt her hands begin to wander he pulled out of the embrace just enough to capture her hands in his and look at her. Shocked by her own behaviour she starred at the floor.

"Please look at me, Liz," he said. She slowly brought her eyes up to meet his. His hand touched her cheek and stayed there for a while, slowly caressing it. "I do care for you. More than I should to be honest. And that's the problem, Liz." She was about to cry again, silently cursing herself for being in tears around him. But he put a finger on her lips. "Shh..." She closed her eyes and swallowed hard. He talked to her gently while seeing her out but she didn't listen to what he said. That night she cried her eyes out. Finally, the next morning, she told herself to stop thinking about him the way she did.

It wasn't until she got into trouble that the depth of his feelings for her was revealed. She had been on an off-world mission with John and his team which ended with her being imprisoned and held hostage. One night – she had stopped counting days – the door to her cell burst open and he came in. Realising she was hurt he picked her up and carried her back to the jumper. Her head fell on his shoulder as she lost consciousness.

But her days of imprisonment had not been over. Carson confined her to the infirmary for two days. The first night she was released it was him standing in front of her door not knowing whether to knock or not. In the end he did. She let him in immediately. An uncomfortable silence stretched between them. Neither of them knew what to say. "I thought I might have lost you," he finally managed to say. His voice was low and she could hear the pain this thought gave him. "I know what I told you before. But ...Well, it's not true…I don't want to be your friend. I want more. I want to be there for you, wake up next to you, regulations be damned."

There eyes had met and they stood there just looking at each other. None of them knew what to say or do. It was Elizabeth who, in the end, closed the distance between them and brought her lips up to meet his. They ended up cuddled together on her bed, fully dressed. She had not slept as well as she did that night in a long time.

Lying awake tonight, she thought about why she had fallen for him. She had not wanted it when she got to know him. It had just happened. It was his ability to understand what she needed without her telling him that she loved. The way he made her feel when they were together. She did not have to be Dr. Weir, the leader. She could be the woman, Liz. A smile crossed her face. There where so many reasons why she loved him and it did not matter why everything began. What mattered was that he made her happy. Elizabeth closed her eyes and cuddled into the sleeping form of the man she loved.