Disclaimer: Rizzoli and Isles does not belong to me.

I know I owe you all a chapter for my very first fic (and I apologise for the wait, something will be coming soon) but this was one storyline I couldn't get out of my head and I've been fiddling around with the plot in mind all day. It's just going to be a short one, no more than 2, maybe 3 chapters, based on my view point on what would happen if Jane and Maura were a couple and Ian came back into their lives. Will Maura choose Jane? Or will she go with Ian? Is there even a choice to be made...?

As usual, all reviews are welcome. Thanks for reading!

The blonde stood at her kitchen island waiting for the water to boil as she thinks about how spectacularly her life has come crashing down around her. How it should be a long, gangly, brunette splayed out on her couch watching the Sox yelling at the players with that husky raspy voice that sends shivers down Maura's spine, eyes twinkling as the ME shook her head in faux despair as she'd explain for the thousandth time that it was a pointless charade first and foremost because of their inability to hear her and secondly, for it to ultimately have any impact on the game itself. Instead, it was a dashing Australian who'd come swooping back into her life only weeks ago with declarations that he'd show her how much she meant to him, how their relationship was not only based on sex alone. It was he who was sprawled on her couch, remote in hand, quietly watching WHDC and for the first time it occurred to her how she hadn't had to fight over the channel she wanted to watch, hadn't had to see the rolling off chocolate orbs as the other woman reluctantly gave in simply because if Maura was happy then she was too as they snuggled down on the couch, Jane below, Maura wrapped round her, head over her Detective's steadily beating heart. She missed it; missed it all.

She clenched her fists, tears appearing unbidden in her eyes, blurring her vision. Even if she wanted, she couldn't lie about her hand in all of this, couldn't say it wasn't her fault for what had happened and even if asked, she wouldn't deflect.

She watches as it starts bubbling, her mind going to that fateful night...

She'd come home to a house which relied only on candlelight that night. Two places set with a single rose on the table, the chef standing over bubbling pots and her heart had melted despite it not being scientifically possible in the least.

Hearing the Doctor, her love had taken her hand kissing the top of it, her gaze never leaving hers as she led her over to the table and like a true gentlewoman, pulled the chair out for her. They'd caught up on the day they'd had neither having seen the other the whole day due to Jane chasing up leads and Maura being elbows deep in a new body that had been brought in, laughed uproariously as Jane told her stories of her childhood and how Angela had chased her round the kitchen with a dishcloth when she'd caught her furiously stuffing cookies into her pocket to sneak upstairs for her and her brothers and how the chocolate had melted from her brief 'run' round the house, sticking her pocket together and then had come the knock, and Maura had answered, insisting that the brunette should stay seated after all the effort she'd put in for tonight. And she'd opened the door to find Ian standing on the other side and he'd abruptly swept off her feet and given her a bone-crushing hug and before her brain even registered it, he kissed her. And despite the confusion and the fact that her girlfriend stood only a few feet away waiting for whoever it was to go away, she was kissing him back. And when it suddenly occurred to her what she was doing, she'd pulled away, out from his arms.

But it had been too late.

Because Jane stood there, a myriad of emotions flashing across her features as she took in the sight of her girlfriend kissing the man she'd once referred to as being the love of her life and Maura knew she was the one responsible for it. For the hurt, confusion, pain, humiliation, despair and she'd stepped out of Ian's arms, attempting to go to her, knowing it would be futile. Because she'd damaged them.

For 18 months, they'd had it good. She'd never felt so loved, so safe, so much love in return for another. But there was no going back. And Ian just stood there, completely oblivious to the turmoil they'd just created, of the hole Maura had truly dug herself deep into, and grinned, nodding a hello at Jane while twisting the knife in further by the words, 'I hope I haven't interrupted anything'. Oh god, if only he'd known. And with his words, Jane seemed to snap back inside herself, recoiling from the arm Maura had reached out, if only to steady her own nerves and the argument she'd guessed was coming, except there'd be no argument from her. It was her fault after all. She would not deny responsibility. But Jane had shocked her once again, citing that she had paperwork that was still due and perhaps now, at 9.45pm at night, it would be a good idea to get on it and she'd disappeared. Swiftly, and abruptly, and before Maura had even had time to process. And then she found herself going after her but not before ensuring that Ian had a place to stay, as was proper etiquette. He did. But it wasn't at her house. She'd checked the BPD, knocked incessantly on Jane's apartment door before one of her neighbors had threatened to call the police, she went to all their haunts; the rink, Fenway, the Common, Boston harbour. She went to them all but there was no Jane. And finally, after 1am, she'd headed home where she'd gone to bed that night crying herself to sleep as she thought about how she'd royally fucked everything up that night. She went back to work the next day, intent on resolving the whole fiasco with Jane but knowing at the same time how she should give the Detective space. She'd held out until lunchtime, her whirring thoughts and growing unease making her anxious and unable to concentrate. She'd gone up to the bullpen only to find Jane only to have Korsak tell her that the Detective hadn't been in today and Frost look at her with sympathetic eyes. She'd gone up every day after that and still there was no sign of the Detective. She did it for five days before Korsak told her she'd taken indefinite leave and Maura's heart had dropped.

She'd returned two days later. Laying eyes on her for the first time in days, the ME could see the darkening round the periorbital edema, the gauntness in the Detective's cheekbones, the slouch in her shoulders, the heaviness in her step. She'd tried approaching the Detective in the first few days but she always seemed to disappear as soon as she appeared, other more 'interesting' things taking her away. It had been the silent plea in her eyes, the desperation in the ME's words with that one simple word: Jane. And she'd finally stopped. But she didn't turn around. The low, raspy 'what do you want', shook the ME to her core. And that was where she'd drawn a blank.

She didn't know.

All she had known was that she needed to time. To process. It was a lot to ask for she knew. Especially considering her part in the matter.

But Jane had given it.

She'd studiously avoided the morgue sending Frost or Korsak in her wake for the past two weeks. And now two weeks later, she still didn't have an answer. All she knew is that she wanted to see Jane, wanted just a glance of her, however fleeting it may be. She hungered for it, yearned for it.

Sunday dinner had been moved to the guest house but in all the movement she'd seen, she hadn't seen the Detective. The woman had remained surprisingly inconspicuous. The only people going to and from the guest house was Angela herself, Tommy and Frankie. But no sign of Jane. She'd taken every Sunday off since the split just to get a sighting but it had been a fruitless effort.

She never came.

The lever on the kettle clicked, indicating it had boiled. Her mind on automatic, she prepared the tea, making a cup for herself and one for Ian. Handing it to him, he accepted it with a grateful smile. She sat, the distance between them all to clear but he didn't seem to notice. In fact, he hadn't noticed anything about her behaviour or lack thereof at all. Her attention drifted to the tv, her mind tuning out the Australian's voice as the words, 'BREAKING NEWS' popped across the screen. Her eyes take in the 10 car pile up on the highway and the ensuing jam behind it before her breath catches as the cameraman in the helicopter capturing the scene below focuses on one of the cars so familiar to her despite it being beyond recognition: a blue BPD-issued Lincoln. She sees it squished between two cars, much like an accordion, the creases and crinkles obvious in its bodywork. Its hood which had been sawed off by the emergency personnel on hand lay crumpled on the road, a tank covered the other half of what was left of the car. She glanced at her phone willing it to ring. Ian calling her name snapped her out of her reverie.

"I'm sorry. What did you say?"

He smiles gently at her, chuckling. "I was just saying now that my name has been cleared, I'm a free man." He scoots closer to her, grasping her hand in his but her attention is still focused on the tv. Placing a hand on her cheek, he guides her to face him. He doesn't notice the concern on her face, the tension in her spine, the way her gaze flits between the tv and her phone.

Once again, he doesn't notice her at all.

Instead, he continues, "now that we've been dating, I hope I've been able to convey how I feel about you and how committed I am to us. " He saying all the right things that she'd wanted to hear years ago, back when they were in Africa but his words have no impact on her now. And it hits her as she's sitting there how it's been Jane all along. How even subconsciously she had chosen Jane when Ian left Boston a couple of years ago citing his own reasons for going back and how Maura should come with him and later how she'd refused. Because what it came down to is that she can't imagine life without Jane in it. And that stark reality of what she'd be leaving behind when he'd asked her to go with had struck her with a fierceness she'd never felt before and it had terrified her. Because what she wants is Jane. The person she wants is Jane. She's wanted her ever since she laid eyes on her, and she finds herself breaking away from his grasp, his gaze turning to one of confusion as she pulls away from him.

"Maura?"

She folds her hands in her lap trying valiantly to ease the tremble in her hands that has come the epiphany she's just had. "I'm sorry, Ian. But I just don't feel that way about you. Not anymore. I'm not sure I ever did."

"Maura? What do you mean? You and I. We love each other."

"We loved the rush of endorphins that came from our sexual encounters," she explains, the scientist within her coming out, "but we never loved each other. Or at least, I never loved you. Not in the way a person deserves to be loved. Before you came back, I had that. I had that one person who was willing to give up everything for me," her minds eye going to the conversation they'd had after Jane had shot herself, how Jane had said she'd give up the job for her if that was what Maura wanted, "who loved me for me, who loved me unconditionally and provided me with safety and security, who melted away all that doubts I had about myself, who thinks the facts I spout off are adorable, who shared her family with me, whose eyes would immediately seek me out in any situation, whose grin would be directed at me." Ian sat there, mouth open, surprise and confusion evident in his face. "And I lost it," she said, getting up, grabbing her medical bag, checking the supplies that were held within, "with one stupid kiss! All because I was caught up in the moment, in the momentary fleet of feelings that came rushing back." She looked up at him.

"I don't love you, Ian. I never did. And now if you'll excuse me, I going to find the person I have loved all along, and beg her forgiveness and gain her trust back and her love, and hope against hope, that it isn't too late. For us. You can see yourself out," she said going to the door and opening it. "Oh, and Ian? Don't ever come here again." The slam of the heavy wood shook the foundation, putting a close to whatever it was they had had with resounding finality.

She drove. She drove like a maniac, breaking, for the first time, all the speed laws and traffic regulations. She didn't care. She had a love to profess. She wanted to shout it from the rooftops. She only wished she had a siren; it would have let her get there quicker.

"Korsak!"

The older man looked surprised. "Doctor Isles. What are you doing here?"

"I saw the news. Why didn't anyone call me? Where is she?" He scratched his neck uncomfortably. He knew what had happened between them. She knew, he knew. For years he had been Jane's partner. It was obvious she would go to him.

Barry jogged over to Korsak, not noticing Maura standing by his side. "That's it. They're all out. All casualties have been taken en route to either Mass Gen or Beth Israel..." he trails off, suddenly realising they were not alone. His eyes turn frosty as does his tone. "What are you doing here?" There's no kindness this time, no sympathy.

Maura narrows her own eyes. Her prerogative right now was to find Jane, not argue about her personal matters. "I'm here for Jane."

"Why?" he asks, "so that you can cause more destruction, break her more than she already has been? he retorts.

"Of course not! I'm here because I saw what happened on the news! Nobody called me! I had to learn about it from a third party, see her car in the wreckage..." Korsak takes her by the arm dragging her away from Jane's partner but not before giving the man a pointed warning. Viciously, she yanked her appendage out from the older man's grasp.

Standing to one side, he asks again, "why are you here, Maura?"

Tears fill her eyes as she looks everywhere but at him. "I'm here because I care, because regardless of whatever has happened between us, she's still my friend...and the love of my life...if she'll have me..." The last admission is but a whisper.

He ran a hand over his week old unshaven beard, sighing in the process. His eyes looked everywhere but at hers. "She's gone." Her breath hitches for the second time that day as her hand flies to her mouth.

God no. She lost her chance...

Realising he hadn't made himself clear, he goes to speak, "No, I don't mean..that...oh god. No. All I meant is that she's gone...from here," he indicates to the wreckage that surrounds them. "Signed herself out AMA."

The tears she's been holding back let loose as relief engulfs her. "She's ok?"

Korsak shrugged. God only knew with Jane. The woman just kept taking impact after impact before bouncing back as if nothing happened. "A few bruises, minor cuts, two broken ribs. She's fine. Said she was going back to her apartment." Maura turns to leave the scene with only one purpose in mind before she's once again brought to a halt.

"Good luck," he says. She gives him a small smile, joyous in the knowledge that there's at least one person routing for her.