(Author's Note: I've been watching a lot of Red vs. Blue lately, so I decided to make a story about them. I reckon it'll be easier to make this because unlike the other stories I've been planning on making, this one is coming right off the top of my head, and isn't already written down. One last thing: This assumes that the Blood Gulch Warriors never actually LEFT Blood Gulch.)
Chapter 1: Discovery
"Pssst, hey! Hey Doc! Doc! Hey! Hey, Doc! D-" "WHAT? For the love of God, WHAT?" screamed Medical Officer Frank "Doc" DuFresne (though this was a misnomer- he was a medic, not an actual doctor) with a ferocity that he didn't know he had. The person that had been pestering him, Kaikaina Grif, snorted. "Well gee, I was just wanting to tell you it's your turn to babysit Junior…" she said, looking put off. Doc sighed, and rubbed a finger along the bridge of his nose. "Sorry, Sister…" he mumbled. "Ever since O'Malley left my mind, I've just been… I dunno, I guess part of him is still inside me." "Yeah sure whatever. Junior's waitin' for ya! C'mon!" Kaikaina said impatiently. She absentmindedly tugged at one of her two pigtails, and as Doc wearily nodded and left Blue Base, she grinned to herself. "Yesss… Now I can raid his medicine cabinet!" she muttered happily.
Doc walked out of Blue Base, also known as "Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha", and found Private Lavernius Tucker, a young black man with glasses and wearing teal battle armor, kneeling down next to a small, bipedal alien that looked somewhat like a sentient reptile, albeit with four mandibles that served as its jaws.
"…Okay, now when you wanna pick up a fine-ass lady, whaddaya say to 'em, Junior?" Tucker was saying. "Blarg-Chicka-Honk-Honk!" Junior replied. Tucker grinned. "Man, you sure are a fast learner, Junior!" he commended. Doc sighed and rolled his eyes. "Tucker… He's a month old. Is teaching him pick-up lines- in a language he barely understands- really the most important thing to teach him at the moment?" he asked. Tucker looked up at him and shrugged. "Eh. My kid, Doc. I think he'll turn out just like me." he replied cheerily. He got up, stretched, and placed his helmet on his head, the orange visor gleaming in the sunlight.
"Well, time to go, kid. See ya later. Be good for Doc, okay?" Tucker called as he walked around the canyon. "Blurgh, honk." Junior replied. Doc shook his head. "Alright now, Junior. Time to go learn the English Alphabet!" Doc said, and he went to a shady area near Blue Base, with the tiny alien following at his heels.
From the 10x magnification of the sniper rifle in his hands, Dexter Grif could see the little discussion being had by Doc and Tucker, but obviously couldn't hear a word of it."What's happenin', turd-belly?" came the gruff, Southern-accented voice of Sarge, the Red Team leader. "Ah, Tucker was talkin' with Doc and that little Alien dude." Grif said indifferently. "Yeah? Well, what about?" Sarge pressed. Grif bit his lip, keeping his smart-assed retort to himself… for a moment. "How the fuck would I know, Sarge?" he snapped suddenly. "They're all the fucking way across the fucking canyon!" "Shut it, Dirtbag. It was a rhetorical question. If you'd actually been stupid enough to respond positively, I'd hit you over the head with my shotgun!" Sarge said. Grif tightened the grip on his rifle, and growled. "I doubt you have the brains to tell if I was tellin' the truth or not…" he muttered under his breath; if Sarge heard him, he didn't say anything. "Wait a minute… what in the fuck?" Grif said aloud to himself as he saw something across the canyon. He dropped his sniper rifle and pulled out his magnum, then started running to something all the way across the canyon.
Inside Blue Base, Private Leonard L. Church, the acting leader of Blue Team, stood leaning against the polished walls, staring at the oval-shaped, dual pronged energy sword that was somehow suspended vertically in the air, floating in the direct center of the bottom floor of the base. Tucker, Tex, Caboose, Andy the Bomb, and the alien known as "Crunchbite" had gone on some sort of "Sacred Quest" that involved this strange, exotic weapon. From what Church had been told, the quest failed when Crunchbite was killed by Agent Wyoming- a British Freelancer who seemed to have had a history with Tex (not a good one, as Tex had immediately went on a mission of her own to track Wyoming down and kill him).
The whole team, sans Tex and the alien, had returned to Blood Gulch, and it was discovered that the alien had somehow impregnated Tucker… and Junior was the result. According to Andy, who was the only one able to understand the language of the aliens, Junior was supposed to be some messianic warrior that would free his people from some sort of danger… blah, blah, blah. Church really didn't care about that. What had gotten his attention was the detail that Junior was, for some reason, supposed to be the only wielder of "The Great Weapon", the sword that Church was staring at. When Church looked at Junior- and suppressed the urge to immediately terminate the little hybrid hellspawn- he simply could not imagine him being a warrior… not with people like Doc and Tucker teaching him things.
Church sighed, and cast his gaze downward. He had missed Tex during those weeks she had been gone. She was… well, he'd be loathe to admit it to anyone else, especially the idiots in Blood Gulch, but she was all that really kept him in the damnable box-canyon which the Red and Blue teams called home. Despite the fact that they were a match made in Hell, Church's feelings for Tex lingered… Aw, fuck this. Don't get all sentimental on yourself, Church! That's not you! he berated himself. "Hey," came a voice beside him. Church turned, and saw none other than Agent Texas- "Tex" to the Blood Gulch soldiers, "Allison" to Church and others that knew her well- standing close to him, looking formidable in her black Freelancer armor, as usual… well, she was always formidable to people.
"Hey, Tex." Church said tonelessly, returning his gaze to the Great Weapon. Tex looked at it, and her face gave an odd tick; she'd often had this odd, almost obsessive desire for that blade, but unfortunately it wouldn't work for her- only for Tucker, or Junior when he was old enough to use it.
"Okay okay. So, it's like I said a long time ago: time doesn't go in lines, it's goes in circles. That is why clocks are round!" Michael J. Caboose explained to Kaikaina, who nodded vigorously. "Yeah yeah, I get that! Clocks are circles because time is a circle. Tires are circles too!" she squealed happily. It was Caboose's turn to nod energetically. "Yeah, they are! And- and, oh! You know what else is a circle?" he asked. "What?" asked Kaikaina, now totally enthralled. Before Caboose spoke, the sound of a gun being cocked was heard, and Caboose felt a gentle nudge on the back of his helmet.
"The hole I'm about to put in your head if you don't get the fuck away from my sister, Caboose!" Grif snarled, holding his magnum to the Blue Private's head. Caboose let out a whimper, like that of a scared little boy. "O-okay, Grif. I-I'll g-go, just p-please don't kill me! Please, I didn't get to feed the grass today!" Caboose whined. "Go. Get the fuck outta my sight before I change my mind, ya fuckin' moron. Move!" Grif spat, and Caboose hurriedly ran away. Kaikaina tossed her elder brother an angry look, which didn't faze him. "Grif, why do you always scare away the boys that I like? Caboose was nice to me!" Kaikaina shot at him. Grif didn't back down. "Sis, all these guys are idiots! They just want you for sex!" he shouted back. Kaikaina growled. "So?" she replied heatedly. Grif was about to reply, when a dark shadow was cast over the two siblings... and a portion of Blue Base itself.
(Hmm... not bad for my second outing on this site. I'm still formulating the plot in my head, so it might be a while before the next chapter. Anyway, R&R, people.)