Our Little Infinity:
I pick up the phone in the dead of the night on the first ring. God, not yet. Not now, not now. I think, wiping my eyes with my free hand.
"So," it's Augustus. "The most interesting thing just happened to me,"
"Oh?" I ask. "What's that?"
"I flat-lined."
As if it's trying to make up for his heart's inadequacy, my heart starts pounding. "You... did?" is all I can ask. "And you're okay now?"
"Of course I'm okay. Other than all of the tubes coming out of my body with strangely colored fluids, I'm grand."
"How did it happen?" I ask.
"I'm so hurt that you believe that I would call just to talk about myself,"
"Oh," I laugh a little bit. "I would never."
"What are you up to?"
"I just woke up,"
"I know you didn't have an alarm set,"
"No, but it was nice to wake up,"
"And why is that?"
"I was having the worst dream I've ever had,"
"And what was it about?"
"You,"
"Well, that's kind of offensive without context, Hazel Grace,"
"I just..." I stammer out.
"Tell me about it,"
"I was writing a eulogy, before I even went to bed,"
"Who did you have to write a eulogy about?"
"You,"
"You already wrote my eulogy, though."
"I was just... trying something out," I feel strangely defensive, like I was doing something wrong.
"Anyways, what happened next?" he asks.
"I wrote it down, and then when I went to bed, I was just kind of there."
"Where?"
"At your... funeral and not even the funeral you, me, and Isaac did. It was like, a real funeral and I was giving my eulogy and you were just gone..."
"So, good thing I flat-lined, right? Or I would have just waited until morning to call,"
"Yes. Good thing," I whisper.
"Please use the same eulogy," he says softly. "When you do it,"
There's a lump in my throat when I reply. "Please don't make me give one, just stay here,"
"Oh, trust me, Hazel, I'm trying."
It's so quiet for a long time that I'm about to break the silence when he does.
"I keep thinking about the hamster," he admits. "Why didn't Van Houten just tell us about Anna's mom or the Dutch tulip man? Why the hamster?"
"I think he's just an awful person."
"Do you still like the book?" Gus asks.
"Yeah,"
"Me, too... Wanna know why?"
"Why?" I ask.
"Because every time I read it or I think about it, it reminds me of you,"
"I like it because it makes me think of Amsterdam," I say softly.
"I think of Amsterdam whenever I think about you,"
"I think about you whenever I think about Amsterdam,"
Then it's quiet again.
"Hazel Grace," he asks.
"Yeah?"
"We should get married,"
I laugh a little bit. "What?"
"We should get married. Like, once I get out of here."
I don't hesitate for a second. "Okay,"
"Okay," he says back. "Okay. I have to go back to sleep or every single nurse in this place will sneak up on me and kill me, they say I'm always up too late as it is,"
"Okay," I tell him.
Author's note:
This fan fiction is AU. Well, not universe, but I don't know what the correct word is when it's not the same ending…
John Green's book; The Fault in Our Stars is the best book I have ever read. And I like to read a lot. I understand that for the story to happen the way that it did, Augustus had to die. That's the point and I understand and respect that point. But in this fan fiction I am writing, I'm just kind of letting everyone know how I have not come to terms with him not spending forever with Hazel. In this, he will live. This is not because I think that John's story could be told better if he did, this is just because I want to do it this way.
Okay?
Okay.
- Carolyn.