'Bad Luck'

(A/N: This Story was a request asked of me. It isn't the type of story I usually do. Out of my proverbial 'comfort zone,' but there is no better challenge for an author than trying new things like this. It may or may not be to everyone's taste including my fans from my debut story so be warned. The angst part of this you will only see in you think on it and read between the lines. I tried to make it humorous while still not completely beating up my second favorite character in the Mario series. I hope you enjoy.)

Part 1

Bad Luck, that's what his name meant. That and Condescending Apology, and the less interesting Evil Luigi depending on how you broke it down. Waluigi. However, he had never felt the full impact of his namesake until that day, a day he tried so hard to forget.

Wario ate dinner sourly. He looked angrily up at the clock then looked to the door growling. 'Where the heck is Waluigi? No thanks to him I'm eating dinner at midnight because he never came back and cooked it for me!' He turned back to take another bite, but just then the door burst open and Waluigi stumbled through coughing and gasping.

Wario jumped. He saw his brother then got angry. "Waluigi! Why weren't you here to make supper, and why are you so late!" Waluigi scowled at Wario then began muttering intelligible insults. "Answer me you lazy bum!" Wario shot.

"Me lazy! No, I'm a not saying anything more. You probably wouldn't understand a word I said," Waluigi retorted quickly catching himself before Wario got physical. He walked passed the table towards the fridge answering vaguely, without meeting Wario's eyes and in a meek tone, "I was a caught up in, err, something." He looked in the fridge and grimaced at the garlic and bean dishes inside. "Didn't you a stock up on eggplant?" Waluigi questioned.

"No," Wario replies. "There might be one on the bottom shelf in the very back," he finished. Waluigi looked and saw it. He nearly threw up. He cried out in terror then ran to the bathroom to put on thick rubber gloves and get a long metal pole with claws on the end. Plugging his nose and holding his breath he reached the pole in and pulled out the rotting vegetable. He went to an incinerator he had long ago learned to have handy, and burned it. "Was that a really necessary?" Wario asked.

"Yes!" Waluigi barked. He grumbled as he took off his gear then went to the fridge to get a bean garlic dish that looked at least slightly edible. He brought a fork full to his mouth, but right then Wario's eyes widened.

"Wait Waluigi!" Wario shouted.

Waluigi paused then turned to him asking, "What?"

Wario tried to remember what he was going to say, but soon gave up declaring, "I forget." Waluigi harrumphed then ate it at the table. Wario kept looking uncertainly at it making Waluigi nervous, but Waluigi didn't obey his self-preservation instinct. Honestly at this point in time, after what happened, he didn't really give a hoot whether or not he lived or died. He shuddered at the memory. The voice calling him into the dark woods. The strange creatures all looking at him as he neared the voices origin. He shook his head desperately.

In a meek voice, looking down at his plate, he said, "Listen brother, I don't a feel good. I'm a going to bed."

Wario asked curiously, "What's a with you?"

Waluigi paused at the door then replied looking back, "Something happened. Something I don't think I'll share with you."

"Why not!" Wario demanded.

"Just because I know you," Waluigi answered.

"Hey!" Wario yelled.

"Not an insult big brother," Waluigi shot testily. He then went to bed.

Wario raised an eyebrow at the odd behavior but then went back to eating, thinking, 'Eh, he's my weird little sibling. He does things like this. It's best not to question Waluigi.'

Waluigi woke up very early the next morning. He looked at his clock. It read five. Doing a quick recap he pin pointed the time he went to bed as one. He groaned realizing he'd only had about four hours of sleep. Wario snored loudly from the bottom bunk. Waluigi growled angrily. He groaned as he felt suddenly very sick. He sniffed the air then wrinkled his nose. He cried out in disgust covering his nose and mouth. Furiously he turned on the light and yelled, "Wario, get up!" Wario woke up alright.

Furious at the sudden wake up call Wario demanded, "Wha, what is it! What's a going on here!"

Waluigi yelled, "Did you pass gas or something! It stinks in here!"

At the same time, half way through Waluigi's question, Wario asked plugging his nose, "Whoa, Waluigi, what did you do!"

It was then, with Wario's question, that Waluigi's eyes lit in realization. His mouth fell open in shock, eyes wide. He looked down, lifting the covers, then fearfully, in shock, he said, "Wario, I think I need to go to the doctor."

"Why?" Wario suspiciously asked as he rose. Before Waluigi could cover it Wario looked then screamed, "Whoa! What the heck Walu! What is this! What's a going on with you! Is this revenge on me or something, because you do the washing!"

"I do everything!" Waluigi yelled back. However he then repeated in a more worried tone, "I need to see a doctor."

Wario replied, "Doctor, pah, waste of time, and time is money. We'll just go see Mario. He's a doctor, sort of."

Waluigi shot back, "And tell him this! The fist thing he'll a do is tell Luigi! No way!"

Wario barked, "Then you're a stuck like that!" Waluigi's eyes reflected fear. Wario bit his tongue but didn't retract the threat.

After a moment Waluigi meekly consented. "Fine," he said. In his mind he thought, 'I'd rather he look. A real doctor would probably see. Star spirits be with me.'

The two went up to Mario and Luigi's house and knocked. Luigi opened the door grumbling. He cried out in alarm on seeing his cousins. "Mario!" he called. Mario heard the cry then rushed up to his brother's aid.

"Calm down coward!" Waluigi yelled.

"Waluigi needs to see a doctor. I'm not wasting time with a waiting room for a real one," Wario said.

"Humph," Mario said. He then went into the house. There was awkward silence between the two standing outside and Luigi who stared at them in shock. Wario eventually coughed. Soon Mario arrived in his Doctor Mario outfit and said, "Doctor Mario at a your service."

"Can I go elsewhere bro?" Luigi asked.

"And leave me with them?" Mario asked incredulously.

"Uh, yeah," Luigi said.

"Fine," Mario said. Luigi walked back up the stairs to his room looking worriedly at Wario and Waluigi. They heard the door shut and the locks click into place.

"Stupid green bean pole," Waluigi muttered.

"Come in and sit on the examining table in the basement," Mario said. Waluigi entered grumbling, Wario right behind. Mario followed last. Waluigi sat on the table with his arms folded. "What's a wrong?" Mario asked.

"Is there doctor patient confidentiality with you?" Waluigi challenged. "As in, don't a tell Luigi or else I'll kill you, or him. Whatever cousin works."

Mario chuckled nervously then replied, "Uh, okay."

"I had an accident in bed," Waluigi said blushing deeply. Mario looked at him in shock, then to Wario who was picking his nose. Wario shrugged. "It's a never happened before, and I feel sick."

"Okay..." Mario finally said. "Uh, let a me examine you. Uh, d-do you want Wario in here?"

Waluigi groaned with little crying sounds. He then scowled answering, "I don't care, let's just get my super daily dose of humiliation over with."

Mario cleared his throat saying, "Uh, Wario, you should leave and wait upstairs. I'll a call you when I'm done." Waluigi shivered. Wario raised an eyebrow but left. Mario shut the door behind him.

Wario sat on the couch flipping through a random book he'd picked up. 'At least it's about food,' he thought as he took in the pictures. Luigi was heard coming downstairs. Wario looked up. Luigi met his eyes then grinned nervously. He quickly slid by not taking his eyes from Wario. As Luigi entered the kitchen Wario called, "Hey cuz, bring me something to eat and drink!"

"What do you say?" Luigi asked.

"Do it or else you'll wish you'd never been born!" Wario angrily called, annoyed at Luigi's attempt to actually get him to ask nicely.

Nervously Luigi chuckled and said, "Okie-dokie." Wario grumbled some unintelligible words Luigi wasn't sure he wanted to hear. Soon Luigi brought him the food.

He snatched in and swallowed it whole with the drink as Mario called, "Wario!" Wario wiped his mouth then shoved the plates into a disgusted Luigi who then began grumbling as well. Wario chose to ignore simply going back to the basement.

Mario turned to Waluigi as Wario was coming, concern for his little cousin on his face. Waluigi wasn't looking at him. "Waluigi, what a happened?" Mario asked.

"None of your a business. I ate a Wario home cooked meal," Waluigi vaguely answered.

"You know what I meant! Who was it!" Mario yelled.

"No one! You're a not even a real doctor!" Waluigi yelled.

"Have you told Wario!" Mario demanded.

"No! And if you a want your little brother around for a long time yet you'll a keep quiet!" Waluigi yelled. "How on Earth you found out..." he grumbled.

"He needs to know!" Mario yelled.

"I need to a know what?" Wario asked annoyed.

Mario jumped. Waluigi looked warningly at Mario. Mario grinned nervously then turned to Wario saying, "Wario, what was in the food you made?"

"Garlic, beans, poison mushroom, and some weird thing I found in the yard that looked edible but not," Wario replied.

"Poison mushroom! Some weird thing! Stupid idiot! This is a all your fault!" Waluigi yelled furiously.

"What!" Wario demanded.

"Uh, W-Waluigi has lost all control of his bladder. He's a now, probably thanks to that weird thing you mentioned, permanently incontinent. Well, might be," Mario said.

"He's a what?" Wario asked.

"He can't control when or where he goes to the bathroom," Mario clarified. "He's a gonna need to use the most super absorbent strongest adult, well, diapers, for lack of better words. He's a wearing one until you two can buy more right now. That thing really was powerful. I found that out the hard way."

Wario looked at him in shock then burst into laughter rolling on the floor. "This is humiliating," Waluigi groaned.

"It wouldn't be so bad if you told him that that thing wasn't the only part of it," Mario hissed.

"You were seeing things," Waluigi retorted.

"I'm a doctor, I know what I see!" Mario said.

"You're not even a real doctor!" Waluigi hissed.

"Waweegee needs diapers!" Wario laughed. "My baby brother Wally is now really like a baby brother!" Waluigi leapt up and attacked him viciously. Wario cried out in alarm. Mario dove behind the protection of a desk as they fought. Suddenly Wario sniffed the air and stopped fighting saying, "Waluigi, you did it again didn't you!"

Waluigi blushed then got off lamenting, "Why does everything bad always happen to Waweegee. What am I, a brunt for slapstick comedy? I hate my life."

"I'm surprised you didn't do anything to yourself last night," Mario said solemnly.

"I'm stronger than that," Waluigi retorted.

"That wasn't comedy Waluigi," Mario shot. "You should see a psychiatrist!"

"What are you talking about?" Wario asked.

"Nothing!" Waluigi barked. "Let's a get out of here." With that Waluigi seized Wario's arm dragging him behind.

Luigi was just passing the basement door when it flew open slamming into him! He cried out in a cross of alarm, surprise, and pain as he fell. "Out of the way Mr. Eyeballs!" Waluigi yelled as he swiftly walked by then out the door, Mario came up watching after them helplessly.

He looked down at his brother, who just then groaned, and cringed. "You a need to see a doctor Luigi. Come downstairs. I'll take a look at that."

"Mama mia," Luigi moaned as Mario helped him up then down the stairs. "What's a with Waluigi?"

"I can't tell you right now, at least not all of it. I can't hold what I know all on my own. I'll a cut out the comic part," Mario replied.

"Comic part? As in I could hold it over his head comic," Luigi hopefully asked.

"The question is would you want to if I told you all of it? As it is you're a only hearing the tragic part of it all," Mario replied. "Besides, he says he'll a kill you or me, or both if he can, if I tell you the comic part."