Alright. This is my first story on this website so be nice D:.
Flaky was walking home after just winning the lottery in some crappy back water casino. However. She some how managed to win 700,000 dollars off of that shit hole.
Flaky: Alright! 700k. But wait… the government takes half my money. So that's 350,000. that's fucking bullshit.
Flaky passed by an ominous looking alley, which Lifty and Shifty were waiting in.
Lifty: do we really have to do this…?
Shifty: Hey, do you wanna keep living in that crap-shack we call a home? Or do you wanna use the money from our success to by an actual home?
Lifty Thought about it for a minute, then sighed
Lifty: Fine…, but if that homicidal psycho bitch comes along and attacks us its on you…
Shifty: You mean Flippy? Why would he be here?
Lifty: Because, he just became a cop…
Shifty: Comoooooon, don't be a big pussy. What are the chances of him being in this part of town?
Lifty: I guess your right.
Lifty and Shifty start stalking Flaky as she walks suspiciously down the sidewalk.
Shifty jumps from behind the next alley and nails her in the face with the golf club he had
Flaky: OW! WHAT THE FUCK?
Shifty knocked her with the club in the temple and she loses conscience.
Shifty: Alright. Come on. Lets get the winning ticket.
MEANWHILE
Lumpy: -And that's why they hooked 911 up to our radio.
Lumpy said driving the police car.
Flippy: well that's a shitty reason. Now something else that's been bothering me, we're animals and yet we have pets?
Lumpy: Oh yeah, funny thing about that. See Flippy, that's the result of inbreeding.
Flippy: O.o? that's fucked u- Wait. We're getting a call…
It was Handy. He had apparently saw what was happening.
Handy: um ya… I think someone's about to get raped… wait no robbed.
Flippy: ok we'll be right there some how magically knowing your location even though we do not have the technology in this car to track where this message is coming from!
Flippy: But wait before I come over there I have a question Handy.
Handy: What?
Flippy: How are you calling me? You have no hands to hold the phone.
Handy: uuuuuhhhhhhhhh… SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Flippy ok ok, goddamn I'm coming.
Flippy and Lumpy made there way over to where the crime had been taking place.
Lifty: Tell you what Shifty, I'll meet you back at the shack, I don't have a good feeling about this.
Shifty: Fine then! Bitch out you big pussy!
Once Flippy and Lumpy got there, they saw what was happening:
Flippy: FREEZE MOTHA FUCKA!
Flippy said as he jump from the car window. He drew his bowie knife and threw it at Shifty's eye, the charged forth, grabed the knife, and ripped down, ripping out the skull underneath that eye. Then he slammed him in the chest, round housed him in the face (almost snapping his neck), tripped him up, grabbed his legs as he was falling, and swung him over to the curb, causing him to bite it.
Shifty: aaaaahhuugggh…
Flippy: IT'S CURB-STOMP TIME BITCH!
Flippy stomped on Shifty's face, causing his teeth to drive up his gums.
Shifty: AAAAAAHHHHHHHH.
Lumpy: okaayy… I think I should call an ambulance… You know you'll probably get fired if you keep this up Flippy…
Flippy: Who gives a shit?
Lumpy: Your victims…
LATER
Sniffles: He's dead jack…
Giggles: FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME MY NAMES NOT FUCKING JACK!