Summary - Lucius Malfoy has a great life with 5 little boys and a wonderful husband...well, he thought he was wonderful until said husband left him alone for an entire week with all 5 boys and he quickly realizes they aren't the angels he thought they were.

Disclaimer - I own nothing but the plot...I hope.

Quick Rundown -

Lucius Malfoy and James Potter have been dating since 3rd year and had their first child during 5th year.

The boys go in order from Evan (8), Damien (8), Scorpius (6), Draconis (4), and Harry (11 months).

Lucius has never had all five boys at once before all on his own. He's always had James with him when he has them all so they all act very well behaved. He works during the day while James stays home with them all.

Prologue

To say that James Potter-Malfoy was having problems leaving his children alone for a week was tough on him would be an understatement. He's spent every day with them since they were born and he's never really had to leave them before but he had to go to Sirius and Remus's wedding, he was after all their best friend. Plus he knew that the boys would be safe with their own father but he just couldn't bring himself to leave.

Lucius refused to go to the wedding since he never liked James's friends and James didn't pressure him since he didn't want a fight on their wedding day. However, it was too hard to travel with the boys so he decided to leave them with Lucius figuring it wasn't that big of a deal.

"Don't go mommy!" Draco howled as he clung to James's leg, breaking his heart as the little boy sobbed his heart out. James reached down and lifted him up into his arms before placing a kiss on the soft mop of white-blonde hair as he tried not to cry himself.

"James you're going to be late, love." Lucius said as he managed to pull Draco away from his mother and the toddler instantly cried harder and let out a loud scream as he kicked his legs and wildly waved his arms to get away from his daddy and back to his mommy.

"I know..." James said as he resisted the urge to kiss and hug Draco to death. He finally shifted his gaze from the puffy silver eyes to look at his other boys. The twins were both standing there quietly looking at anything but him, Scorpius didn't even seem to know what was going on and Harry was staring at his big brother with wide blue-silver eyes and an open mouth.

"Bye mommy." Damien said quietly as he sniffled softly and James crouched down and wrapped his arms around the small boy and Evan soon stood next to his brother and wrapped his arms around James as well and he instantly felt one of his mommy's arms wrap around him before James placed a kiss on each of their foreheads.

"Where are you going mommy?" Scorpius asked with a frown on his chubby features and James pulled him into a hug.

"I have to go see Uncle Sirius and Uncle Remus for a while sweetie." James said

"Oh. Can I come too?" the boy asked

"No sweetie, you need to stay with your brothers and your daddy, someone needs to help him." James said as he lightly touched the boy's button nose with his finger and Scorpius giggled and crinkled his nose, making James smile lightly.

"Ok," the boy said with a heavy sigh. "I guess I can stay here with daddy."

James laughed and kissed his forehead before he lifted up the smallest child in the room and gave Harry a tight hug and a soft kiss before placing him back in his playpen before he looked at Lucius, who was still having trouble containing little Draco.

"Bye," he whispered to his mate and Lucius nodded. "I love you..."

"I love you too, my mate, but I suggest you get going. After all, it's only a week." Lucius said as if it were the easiest thing in the world and James could only smile. Lucius was in for a rude awakening.

"Right, only a week." He said as he said bye one more time before walking over to the fireplace and grabbing a handful of floo power before clearly saying, "Black Manor" and James Potter disappeared.

Lucius let go of the struggling toddler in his arms and instantly ran for the fireplace and tried to get his mommy but he didn't have any luck so he resulted to letting out a loud wail and kicking over the items located around the fireplace as tears continued to stream down his cheeks.

"Noodle fight!" Damien screamed as he bopped his twin on the head with a pool noodle that was strewn across the floor from their earlier swim and instantly Evan was holding his blue one and banging his brother with it. Harry began to wail as his older brother continued and he was picked up by Lucius not even a second later.

"Evan! Damien!" Lucius shouted but he was smacked in the face with a noodle before he heard a loud crash and looked over to see Draco throw a vase at the wall angrily before running to Lucius and grabbing onto his leg and proceeded to bite him. "Ow!! Draconis Alexander Malfoy!"

"Ahhhh! Daaaaadddddyyyy! Saaaavvveee mmmmmeeee!" Scorpius hollered as he ran down the hallway with a large black snake slithering behind him, hissing.

Lucius quickly set Harry back into his playpen and Harry let out a loud scream so Lucius picked him back up and Harry was silent so Lucius set him back down and Harry screamed again so once more Lucius picked him up and tried to pry Draco off of his leg as he started to walk after Scorpius only for Draco to bite down again.

"Draconis!" Lucius screamed as he managed to tear the little boy away from his leg long enough to grab Scorpius away from the snake and set him on the couch before he shrieked when he felt hands grab his long silky hair and tug on it hard.

CRASH!

Lucius spun around to see the boys had now taken their game to the next level and were running around wildly swinging their noodles, breaking everything in their path and the man honestly didn't know what to do. The twins were trying to kill each other, Scorpius pissed off the wrong snake, Draco is being a little prat over his mommy leaving and he can't even put Harry down.

"Silencio!" he shouted and instantly everything in the house fell silent so he set Harry down and let him wail to heart's content and it didn't take the baby long to realize he was being ignored. He then grabbed Draco by the arms and put him in the playpen as well and he glared at Harry before huffing and crossing his arms over his chest with a deep angry scowl at his father. Why the playpen?

Lucius then grabbed the yellow and blue noodle from his sons' and was half-tempted to put them in the playpen with Harry and Draco. Instead he pushed them out of the room and set Scorpius into the playpen and the 6-year-old gave him the funniest look the man had yet to see.

Bring on day 1.

He'd kick its ass.