CHAPTER 1

"I love this place

But it's haunted without you

My tired heart

Is beating so slow

Our hearts sing less

Than we wanted

We wanted

Our hearts sing' cause

We do not know

We do not know"

Amanda Seyfried – Little House

She never got sick. Ever. Because she was just as anal about her health as she was about everything else in her life. But you could say she'd been slacking off lately. Not eating as healthy or as much as she needed to; Sleep was almost a foreign concept to her those past couple of months and she could admit she'd been extremely down, not her usually self-confident, kind of annoying self. And it was all Finn's fault. It was also his fault she was so sick she could barely get out of bed. Damn him.

After everything that happened at Sectionals, Rachel truly believed that things would start progressing between them. Instead of that, Finn started distancing himself from her. He didn't show the same enthusiasm about Glee Club he had before and barely spoke to Rachel these days, limiting their contact to polite words and the duets they sang together.

Coughing harshly, she regretted telling her Dads to go ahead on that second honeymoon they were planning for so long because she was feeling well, it was just a sneeze. That tiny sneeze had quickly progressed to a full cold with all those nice little symptoms she hated so much. Her head was like a ticking time bomb she was sure would explode any moment now. Her body felt like it had been hit by a bus (several times) and at the same time had ice cubes inserted on her spine. The chills and shivering only made the aching worse. She had a dancing elephant on her chest and the fever was bad enough to make her dehydrated.

Closing her eyes, Rachel cried silently. Loneliness was a bitch, but being so self-sufficient would eventually do that to you. Everyone at Glee club was nice to her and she really thought they spent some fun times together but she wasn't friends enough with any of them to call and ask for help. Besides, the only one she really wanted to call was Finn. But she doubted he would come. Her chest got heavier, like that elephant had suddenly decided to quit dancing and just sit itself down on top of her heart. She curled herself tighter underneath the comforter and closed her eyes, hoping to sleep off the terrible cold and go back to school the next day.

*****

Finn grumbled to himself the whole way to Rachel's house. He didn't want to meet her, he didn't want to see her, he didn't want to talk to her. He didn't want to feel the way he did every time she looked at him. Because he was ashamed of himself for hurting her so many times, so many ways because of what he had with Quinn and in the end discovering it was all a big fat lie. And to have Rachel delivering the news had been just another blow to his already bruised pride. She must have thought he was the biggest loser on the planet. Adding to that, Rachel was beautiful, talented and incredible. Like she had said to him before, her dreams were bigger than him and he really didn't want his heart broken when she finally realized he was holding her down and left him cold.

He kicked a pebble on the street, cursing Mr. Shue. Since he was the one closest to Rachel at the Glee club, he had been the one assigned to go to her house and check why she hadn't been to school the last two days. Why couldn't they just mind their own business? Maybe she just didn't want to go to school. Maybe she just wanted a fucking break. He would also skip a couple of days if his mom let him.

Stepping on her front porch, Finn pressed his finger on the doorbell and just left it there, just for the sake of it. He rang it three more times and was just turning around to leave when the door opened. His shock at seeing her was so great, that he just stared, frozen on the spot. She looked terrible.

"Finn? What are you doing here?" She managed to choke that out before a coughing fit finally snapped him out of his stupor.

"Rach? Are you sick?" He winced at the stupid question and moved forward when she stumbled. The second his hands touched her forearms he realized she was burning up. "Rach, you're really hot! How long have you been sick?" Well, she couldn't have been this sick this whole time. Could she?

"I don't know… Couple of days I think… I kind of lost track of time, I'm so tired Finn… Don't leave me…" She placed her burning, aching forehead on his chest, feeling her legs start to shake from the effort of staying on her feet for so long. Sensing her discomfort, Finn scooped her up on his arms, giving the door a shove with his heel to close it then walking upstairs to her bedroom.

It was a mess, but at the same time, very organized. Tissues filled the basket (purple with holes shaped like butterflies) and several bottles of medicine covered the entire space on her bedside table. Her bed was a mess of comforters and pillows and she had opened the window to avoid the room from being too stuffy. Sadly, the draft made her colder, but she didn't want it smelling like the guys locker room.

A wet towel was thrown haphazardly over the back of a chair and the clothes she'd been wearing before the shower she imposed herself to take were on the seat all bundled up. It was messy, but very Rachel-like which he found kind of adorable. She was still shivering on his arms and he guessed her fever was still high. Frowning, he lowered her to the bed, almost losing his balance when she started fidgeting like mad.

"No, no, don't go!" Her eyes were sad and glazed, leaking small tears that broke his heart. He suddenly realized Rachel was sicker than he thought, because there was no way, even in a semi-healthy state, that she would beg like that. "I'm so cold… so tired…" Her whimper made his chest swell and his male protectmywoman instinct kick in. Unable to help himself, he kissed the curve of her jaw softly, nose rubbing just below her earlobe. She smelled of cough medicine and kind of flowery and sweet. He wanted to bury his face in her hair and just linger there for the rest of his life. Sighing helplessly as the feelings he had been trying so hard to bury suddenly broke away from his tenuous grasp and soared into his chest, Finn brushed a soft hand against her fevered brow, combing her damp hair back.

"I won't leave Rach. I'm here. I'm always going to be here."

***