Please Forgive Me
AN: I don't own Numb3rs. Wish I did, then I'd molest Colby…kidding (not). I don't own Please Forgive Me, its Bryan Adams.
In light of Colby's betrayal one FBI agent's life falls apart. She had had everything going for her. Until the love of her life was arrested on treason against the United States. Now she must go on knowing her life will never be the same again.
N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3
Please Forgive Me
Kat stood staring blankly through the glass of the interrogation room where Colby sat, on the wrong side of the table. Her heart had broken.
Katherine Eleanor Richards had started at the FBI in Los Angeles a year after Colby. She had fallen head over heels for the ex-marine at their first meeting. The two had begun dating within a few weeks and they had become engaged just a few weeks before…before her heart felt like it had been torn from her chest.
Kat fidgeted with the silver engagement ring on her left hand ring finger. It was plain but beautiful with a flawless diamond and a small emerald; they matched her eyes, on either side of it.
David placed a gentle hand on her slim shoulder. She looked up at him with dull emerald eyes. "What do I do now?"
"I-" David hesitated before shaking his head. "I don't know."
The listened a little longer to Don interrogating Colby before David got truly pissed off and stormed into the room.
Kat was so shocked she missed most of the exchange until David shouted as Don pushed him from the room. "How could you do that to us, to me, to her?!" The door slammed shut.
David stood, trembling, his back to the room.
Kat's eyes were on Colby. He had stiffened in his chair.
Kat's emerald eyes flickered a few shades darker. She clenched her fists and silently entered the room. Don looked up and saw her. His eyes flickered away as he saw the lifelessness in those normally fiery emeralds.
Kat strode around and stopped before the table, directly in front of Colby.
He stared up at her with wide blue eyes. "Kitten."
Kat stiffened and looked down at the man she loved more than anything in the world and she had thought he felt the same. "You said you loved me. It was a lie."
Colby looked as if he had been punched in the gut. "No. I never lied to you, never about that."
"Why do you keep lying to me?" The tears leaked from Kat's dull eyes. She shook her head violently, sending her ebony hair flying. She slammed her hands down on the table. Don took a few steps forward. "You betrayed us, you betrayed me! Why?! Because some army buddy did it too?! I never knew that I fell for a fool!" She shook her head again and let it droop.
"Kitten…" Colby begged softly. He was several shades paler and was trembling.
"No." Kat straightened and looked down into Colby's blue eyes once more. "You are dead to me. Better dead than a traitor."
All life faded from Colby's shocked blue eyes. Even Don seemed beyond startled at the small young woman's response.
Kat fled the room, the crimson streaks in her hair catching the fluorescent light.
Something twinkling on the table caught both Colby's, and Don's, attention. It was the silver engagement ring that Colby had give to Kat just a few weeks ago.
Kat fled through the building, rushing passed David, Megan, and she nearly collided with Charlie, but kept going with a rushed apology. She had to get out of there. She felt suffocated.
She arrived at home in almost record time. She was surprised that she had managed not to get pulled over.
Kat stumbled through her house and up the stairs in a daze. When she made it to her bedroom she dropped face down in to it.
She stiffened when Colby's familiar scent met her nose. She struggled to rise as a sob bubbled up from her throat. Flashes of that morning raced through her mind. He had stayed the night. They had made love…oh god.
Kat rushed through the bathroom door and up heaved into the toilet. She gripped the sides until her knuckles turned white, shuddering.
"Why?" Tears leaked from her eyes. "Why me?" She rose and looked into the mirror above her sink. "Oh god, why me?"
A few hours later Kat stumbled from the shower. The water had been almost unbearably hot and she had scrubbed her golden skin nearly raw.
She reached for one of her towels and glanced up and froze. Her gaze landed on the mirror. 'I love you.' Was scrawled in Colby's neat handwriting in the fog. It was the message he had left for her during her morning shower while he had been making breakfast. Had it really only been a day?
Kat broke down into more sobs. She dropped her towel and dropped her face into her hands.
She stumbled from the room and tugged a baggy t-shirt over her head and a pair of sweat pants on. She froze; it was one of Colby's old Marine shirts.
Kat nearly screamed. "Why won't you let me be?!"
'Please forgive me.'
"Colby?" Her voice came out in a rushed whisper. "No." She shook her head violently, more tears leaked from her eyes.
Kat marched down the stairs and plopped down on her couch. Her phone vibrated on the side table. Four missed calls. She ignored them all.
She turned on the TV and absently flipped through all the channels but everything reminded her of him. She turned the TV right back off and flopped down onto her back and stared up at the ceiling.
'It still feels like our first night together
Feels like the first kiss
It's getting better baby
No one can better this
Still holding on
You're still the one.'
Kat shot straight up. "Colby?" She struggled to her feet. "Colby!" She cried and looked around. There was no one.
But she knew it was him. It had to be. He had only ever sang for her once, and it had been that song. He had upset her one night and to make it up he sang to her. It had been one of the most amazing nights of her life.
'First time our eyes met
Same feeling I get
Only feels much stronger
I wanna love you longer
You still turn the fire on.'
Kat sobbed. "Please, go away!" She launched herself over the couch and grabbed her phone and her jacket. She grabbed her keys from the hook as she fled from the house.
The woman closed and locked the door before fleeing down the side walk. She ran down the road. She had no idea where she was going, she just had to go.
'So if you're feeling lonely don't
You're the only one that I'll ever want
I only want to make it go
So if I love you a little more than I should…'
"Please, leave me alone." Kat begged as she ran. It was almost four in the morning, no one else was out, or even up, yet. "Please, just go away."
'Please forgive me; I know not what I do
Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you
Don't deny me, this pain I'm going through
Please forgive me, if I need you like I do
Please believe me (oh believe it)
Every word I say is true
Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you.'
The rain began as little droplets but they picked up quickly. It went from a light sprinkle to a down pour in a matter of minutes.
Kat's bare feet slapped against the wet ground, and her tears blend in with the rain. She kept going, ignoring the stitch in her side and the fact that she wasn't as in shape as she could have been.
'Still feels like our best times are together
Feels like the first touch
Still getting closer baby
Can't get close enough
Still holding on
You're still number one.'
She kept running as she crossed a street narrowly missing getting hit by a car. It slammed on its brakes and honked at her. She ignored it and kept going.
Kat shook dripping curls from her pale face and slowed to a slight jog. She couldn't keep going, not with him singing to her.
'I remember the smell of your skin
I remember everything
I remember all your moves
I remember you, yeah
I remember the nights
You know I still do.'
Flashes danced before her eyes as she stood in the middle of the street. The red glow of the street lights gave her an eerie look. Kat stared up at the dark sky.
Colby's smile, his laugh. The way he muttered under his breath when he was thinking. The way he could be so strong or so gentle depending on what he was doing. The way he joked around with friends or became stern and frightening to enemies. His blue eyes when he looked at her and sandy blonde hair, how soft it was when she ran her fingers through it.
'So if you're feeling lonely don't
You're the only one that I'll ever want
I only want to make it go
So if I love you a little more than I should…'
Kat clutched at the shirt above her heart. Had he really loved her? Was it all a lie? She moved again this time in a dazed walk. She moved mechanically with no real thought.
'Please forgive me; I know not what I do
Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you
Don't deny me, this pain I'm going through
Please forgive me, if I need you like I do
Please believe me (oh believe it)
Every word I say is true
Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you.'
The woman shivered from more than the cold. "I hate you." The whispered words seemed fake even to her own ears. "I hate you." They sounded no better the second time.
'The one thing I'm sure of
Is the way we make love
The one thing I depend on
Is for us to stay strong
With every word and every breath
I'm praying
That's why I'm saying.'
Emerald eyes scanned the apartment building. She had been here before, for football games and baseball games. For little get togethers.
Kat slowly made her way up the stairs. Her hand gripped the railing until her knuckles whitened.
'Please forgive me, I know not what I do
Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you
Don't deny me, this pain I'm going through
Please forgive me, if I need you like I do
Please believe me (oh believe it)
Every word I say is true
Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you.'
Kat faltered at the door. What was she doing here? The small women shivered. She reached up and knocked tentively.
'Babe believe me, I don't know what I do
Please believe me, every word I say is true.
Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you.'
Don opened the door after a few knocks and looked down at Kat in surprise. "You're soaked."
If she had been her normal self she would have given some kind of smartass reply, but as it stood, Kat nodded and shrugged.
Don let her in. She walked slowly down the hall way to the small living room/ dining room/ kitchen. She looked around slowly. "I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"I-I" Kat shrugged helplessly.
"Go take a shower and I'll go get you some fresh clothes." It wasn't the first time that Kat had gone to Don for help. He was not only her boss but a good friend.
"Thank you." The emerald eyed woman turned and gave Don a half hearted smile that was more of a grimace.
Twenty minutes later found Kat in a pair of Don's sweat pants and one of his old shirts. She was towel drying her hair and her golden skin had a healthy pink tinge to it.
"Feel better?" Don asked as he retrieved two beers from his fridge.
"Yes." Kat faltered a little. "No."
Don handed her a beer. She looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. "You need it."
She shrugged and popped it open. She took a swig and grimaced.
Don gave a half hearted chuckled and moved to the couch.
Kat glanced around. "He was singing." She had no idea why she said it, but she knew she could trust Don.
Don froze and turned to her with wide eyes. "How did you know that?"
Kat paled. "What?"
"Security called not long ago to tell me that Colby had started singing in his cell. Bryan Adams I think. Said he was good." Don watched Kat.
She tried to walk but stumbled. Don lunged forward and caught her. "Oh god, oh god. He was singing for me."
"What?" Don looked down at the woman confused.
"I heard him. He was singing for me. Our song." Kat was shuddering and had a strong grip on his shirt. Both their beers were long forgotten.
"You heard him?" Kat nodded. "How?" She shrugged and began to sob into his chest.
Don wrapped his arms around the woman and rest his cheek against the top of her head.
"He asked one last favor of me." Don stated softly.
"What?" The woman's voice was soft and hoarse.
"He asked me to give you this." He leaned back some and opened his hand. It was the silver engagement ring. "He said he would have no use for it, because you would always have his heart."
"He said that?" Don nodded. Kat hesitantly took the ring. 'I can't stop loving you.' Was inscribed on the inside of the silver band. Her lips trembled and she slid the ring back onto her finger.
Don asked no questions as he led the woman to his bedroom. "You'll sleep on the bed. I'll take the couch."
"Don." Her voice stopped his retreating steps. "Stay with me please." He turned to her with wide eyes. "I, I just need to know someone's there."
Don slowly nodded and returned to the bed. He lay down and Kat snuggled against his side. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight." Her voice was low. "Thank you."
A few weeks later found Kat sitting in her office. She had yet to return to her apartment, she had been staying with Don. He let her.
She was doing some paper work when a man in an expensive suit and carrying a slick black briefcase knocked on the wall, seeing as there was no real door.
Kat looked up and inspected the tall man. He was handsome in a simple way with neatly trimmed brown hair and sharp brown eyes. She cared little, no man had caught her attention since Colby.
"Agent Richards?"
"Yes." Kat rose and turned to face the man fully, he was almost a foot taller than her.
"Hello, I'm Keith Donovan." He held out a strong hand. Kat took it, he had calluses she noticed. How strange. "I'm Colby's lawyer."
Kat stiffened and jerked her hand away. He didn't seem startled by her reaction.
"I've come by to deliver this personally." He pulled an envelope from his pocket. He held it out.
After a moment Kat accepted it. It was thick and heavy. "What is it?"
"Colby has transferred everything he owned to your name. Those documents are the deed to his house and his cars and an inventory of everything he owned that now belongs to you." The man shifted.
"Excuse me?" Kat started at the lawyer dumbfounded.
The man sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Seeing as his citizenship has been revoked he had to transfer everything or risk losing it. All his personal items including all of his bank accounts have been legal handed over to you." He hesitated. "There is also a letter in there that he asked me to deliver to you."
Kat stared down at the cream colored envelope in her hands. "Thank you." She whispered softly after a moment.
"You're quite welcome." Keith gave a slight smile and turned to leave. "Miss Richards, I've known Colby for years, remember things aren't always as they seem." He left the office.
Kat blinked rapidly before plopping down in her chair, drained.
"What was that about?" Kat blinked owlishly up at Don.
"Colby, he…" She swallowed heavily and set the envelope down on her desk. "He transferred every last thing he owned to my name."
Don looked at the woman. "What?"
Kat gave a pathetic giggle. "That was my reaction. Don, he gave everything up. Everything." She sniffled and tried to fight the tears but was losing the battle.
Don gathered the woman into his arms. "It's going to be okay."
"How can you say that?"
"Because time will pass and the pain will ebb, it may never go away, but it will ease." Don placed a kiss on the top of her head. "Come on, open the letter."
Kat picked the envelope back up and slowly opened it. She glanced at Don who gave her an encouraging smile.
She pulled out many folded papers and three sets of keys. The first eight papers were the deeds and inventory like Keith had said. The next two were the legalization papers saying that everything was now hers. The final paper was the letter that Colby had written her.
She put all of the papers, except the letter, back in the envelope and stuck the keys in her pocket.
Kat sat down in her chair again and glanced up to see Don watching from where he leaned against the wall, blocking the doorway. She gave a weak smile and he smiled in return.
Her emerald eyes returned to the paper in her hands.
My dearest Kitten,
I start by writing that I am sorry for everything. I never meant to hurt you, or any of the others. I was meant to leave the FBI a few weeks after you showed up but after meeting you I knew I couldn't. You were the reason I stayed. You were the reason I tried to get out. I love you more than life itself. I hope you know that.
You're probably wondering why I left you everything. It's simple really. I love you and trust you more than I've ever trusted anyone in my life. Do what you wish with everything.
I also write to ask you one last favor. Be happy. For both of us. Do not linger on this, find someone you love and that loves you in return. Find them and never let go.
I was a fool and realized it too late how much I need you. You are the air I breathe and sun that shines. Maybe some other lucky man will be smart enough to realize it sooner. I tell you now though, no one will ever be good enough for you.
I know I will never see you again, but I wish I could see you one last time. One last time with your emerald eyes a blaze and a smile and your lips. The last time I saw you haunts me. You seemed so broken, and I am so, so sorry.
I wish you the best of luck in everything you do. Spread your wings and fly high.
Loving you, and thinking of you, always,
Colby
P.S. I have a feeling Don will read this so, if you are. Please, take care of her. I know you owe me nothing, but this is the greatest thing you could ever do for me. Take care of her and let no harm come to her. My best regards, take care of yourself boss.
You'll come the closest.
Kat stared blankly after she finished reading. A few tears dripped from her cheeks on to the paper.
"Kat?" The woman held the letter out.
Don took the letter and read over it. After finishing he blinked rapidly. You'll come the closest. Don folded up the paper and set it on the desk. Colby knew and was giving his go ahead.
Somehow that thought made Don feel better, eased the guilt at the feelings that had been growing for the woman.
"What did he mean?" Kat looked up at him with puzzled emerald eyes.
Don shrugged and shook his head. "What will you do?"
"Try to be happy." Kat shifted her gaze to the side. "For the both of us. Will you help?"
Don looked down at the woman startled. She had no idea how that question sounded to him. He gave a slow nod.
Kat smiled for the first time in a long time and Don's heart skipped a beat. The woman was so beautiful. A mixture of primal energy and innocence.
Kat stood scooped up the letter and envelope and locked them in one of her desk drawers. She turned and grabbed Don's hand and pulled him after her. "Come on."
"Where are we going?" Don laughed as she continued to pull him.
Kat grinned and looked at him, they flew through the front doors. "You're going to help me learn how to use my wings.
Somewhere far away in a cold prison cell, Colby smiled for the first time in a long time. An image flickered before his eyes and Kat's laughter rang in his ears. "Fly strong."
N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3N3
Thank you for reading my first attempt at a Numb3rs fanfic. Please review and tell me what you think.
I might do a sequel based on Don and Kat. Tell me if you like the idea.