Authors note; although I seem to be the only one who loves this film and most especially the relationship between Ian and Roz, I've written this hoping that someone will read it and love that I've 'fixed' this scene, which broke my heart in the film. After Roz dumps Ian he goes to her room and begs her to open the door and she doesn't - well I've changed that. I might add to this eventually, fixing a few scenes I didn't like. I hope someone, somewhere loves Adore as much as I did and will tell me what they think.
Part one - "Let me in."
The pain in her eyes tore at his heart, it made the gaping wound already there throb with satisfaction because she was was feeling his pain, his loss.
Finally she would know just how much it hurt.
Ian leaned in closer to the vapid, unsuspecting blond he was speaking to and relished the jealousy reflected in Roz's gaze.
Ian wanted her back. Nothing else mattered. Since the day she had ended their two and half year relationship, a month before, he had been dying inside, a little more every day.
He loved her.
More than he could bear and certainly more than he could show.
Her beauty held a fascination for him which had never lessened with intimate knowledge. In fact it had only increased the longer they'd been together.
Her voice, her touch, the weight of her gaze on him - it was everything.
She was in every memory he had, his childhood was littered with images of Roz and he had hoped that it would be the same in the future.
Roz was his life.
Ian felt no shame in wanting her as he did, their relationship had been real to him and yet she had dismissed it easily, as though it had been a game they'd been playing, and all because Tom couldn't keep his fucking dick in his pants.
Ian wanted to kill Tom for that. He had cheated on Lil, Ian's own mother.
But what the fuck did Tom's indiscretion have to do with him?
Roz had ruined everything in her bid to set him free.
Ian didn't want to be free, he only wanted to be with Roz.
He left the boring, faceless girl and went towards the beautiful woman he wanted more than life itself.
Regal, statuesque and so fucking gorgeous, she stared back at him, an intimate all seeing gaze which said far more than she'd like. He wanted to run his fingers through her short hair and feel her breath on his face, he wanted to feel her gasp of pleasure as he cut off her air with his tongue, he wanted her body pressed against his.
Fuck society's rules, fuck propriety, fuck anyone but them.
He knew her so well, just as she knew him.
They were entertwined together, endlessly looping each other into eternity.
Every glance spoke volumes.
She had tried to severe the bond they shared but to no avail, for it wasn't something you could destroy.
He picked up his beer from the table beside her and took a long swallow.
"Where's Mum?" He asked, his voice deceptively casual and aloof.
Roz shifted slightly, her eyes dropping away from his for a moment. "She went home."
She felt bad for her best friend, feeling her loss as if it were her own, despite her own sons happiness with Mary. She knew that Lil loved Tom, just as she loved Ian.
"Retired hurt." He said sarcastically, venomous.
Roz lifted her eyes to his again, "If you like."
"I don't like." Ian hissed, his eyes filled with anger and need.
He sat down on the chair opposite her, his gaze holding her captive.
"Why did you want to ruin everything?"
Tears filled Roz's eyes, "I didn't want to."
Ian's handsome face twisted in bitter agony for a moment before he hid it behind a mask of indifference.
The faceless blond smiled at him from across the room, her eyes filled with admiration and invitation.
The need to force Roz to react sent Ian to his feet, his gaze returned to Roz for a moment, a challenge there, one she couldn't take.
You want me to move on and live my life? Watch me, his eyes told her and she felt her heart break into a thousand pieces.
Ian sauntered towards the eager girl, his lazy surfer boy grace intensely attractive.
Roz watched helplessly as he leaned in and whispered something into the girls ear.
It was an invitation.
One which the nameless girl accepted eagerly, with a smile thrown at her friend who giggled in response.
Ian didn't look back.
He was set on revenge.
Roz wanted him gone.
Now she would feel what it was like to get her wish.
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Ian found Hannah nice enough, but she lacked everything he craved. She was too nice, too young and too eager.
She wasn't poised or knowledgeable, nor was she lithe enough.
She wasn't Roz.
He went through the motions, blanking off his mind as he kissed her in the back seat of his car.
His first instinct had been to take her to the beach, but every part of him had rebelled at the very thought of this stranger there where only she belonged.
The beach was his sanctuary, his and Rozs'.
Hannah was loving and happy at this morose and handsome boys attention, she noticed nothing amiss because she didn't know the real him.
She didn't know how happy he could be in the right company, or how his smile lit up his entire face when he was with the woman he loved.
The brooding stranger was enough for her, he was all she knew.
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Ian left Hannah soon after they had finished making out, he was drawn despite himself to the house above the beach.
He knew that Roz would be home now from the wedding.
He felt remorseful and unclean after his encounter with the girl, like he had cheated on Roz.
He climbed the familiar stone steps towards her bedroom, the sea crashing wildly behind him, heralding the coming storm within and without.
He hesitated for a brief moment before he knocked softly on the door before trying the handle.
It was locked.
"Roz."
He tried the door handle again.
"Roz, you there?"
Silence greeted his calls.
"Let me in." Ian pleaded, somehow knowing that she was there.
Inside the darkness of the bedroom, Roz sat up on the bed, her heart pounding wildly.
Ian was here, he had come for her.
She couldn't let him in, she had never been able to deny him anything when he was determined.
Tears fell unheeded down her cheeks as she heard the boy she loved tug on the flimsy door which was all that separated them from all they wanted and needed.
Roz was torn apart with guilt, for allowing their affair to begin at all, for wanting Ian so badly it hurt to be apart from him and most of all for setting him free when that was the one thing he didn't want.
She was trying to let go of him, sacrificing him to show her solidarity with Lil, but it was killing her inside.
Watching Ian leave with that girl earlier had shredded what little was left if her heart.
She knew that she had pushed him away and that his act of revenge had been justified, but still it hurt more than she could ever remember anything hurting in her entire life.
So she had come home and lain sleepless on top of her bed, trying in vain not to imagine Ian having sex with that random girl.
The rattling stopped for a moment and Roz leapt off the bed about to open the door and run after him.
Don't leave, her heart pleaded slightly, Don't give up on me.
The moonlight outlined his figure on the other side of the curtain which hung on the door. His hands were in his hair, tugging on it, tormented.
Roz bit back a cry as he tried again to open the door, rattling it with such violence that Roz feared it would shatter.
"Roz! Let me in!" Ian shouted, past caring who heard him. And then, softly, broken; "Please, Roz, I need you."
She could hear that he was on the point of crying.
Slowly her hand reached for the key, it trembled as it touched the cold steel.
Roz knew that if she opened theat door everything would change.
But she couldn't leave the boy she loved outside like this.
She would just have to firm with him and tell him that they were over.
Lifting her chin resolutely, she turned the key and pushed the door open.
Ian turned swiftly at the sound of the door opening, his face at once disbelieving and tormented.
Roz didn't say a word, she stood there bare footed, in the rumpled dress she'd worn for the wedding, her face streaked with tears, blatantly showing him just how much pain she was in.
He was magnificent as always, white shirt pulled apart at the neck, tanned skin on display, dark blond hair a mess from careless fingers.
Ian didn't speak either, simply moving closer until he was so close she could have touched him.
She moved aside to let him in, her senses going wild at the sight of him in her bedroom again.
The same place they had spent so many days and nights naked and entertwined on the bed, against the wall and even on the floor. No space had gone unchristened, with their pleasure in each other so absorbing, so acute.
She shouldn't have let him in, she knew that and yet how could she leave him outside?
"I think you should go." she said at last, staying beside the still open door. "This is a mistake."
Ian turned to face her. "Nothing between us has ever been a mistake. Don't shut me out, Roz, I need to speak to you."
"You've just been with her...that girl...it's over Ian, we're over, and it's as it should be because we should never have began to begin with."
Ian paced away from her towards the wide window overlooking the sea below, he showed clearly that he had no intention of leaving now that she'd let him in.
Roz admitted defeat and stepped away from the door, her hands clasped tightly together.
"I love you." He said quietly and there was no doubting his sincerity. "I'm sorry about Hannah, I wasn't really interested in her..nothing happened...it was only to..."
"...Hurt me." Roz finished for him. "I know."
Ian came towards her slowly, his hands hanging at his sides.
When he reached her, he touched her face, wiping at her tears, his large hands dancing along her jaw and lips before cupping her face and lifting it up to his own.
Roz tried to pull away, but just like history repeating it's self, Ian didn't allow her to withdraw.
"Don't. " She half commanded, half pleaded, her hands hesitantly coming to rest on his arms, meaning to push him away but instead pulling him closer.
Ian kissed her then, his lips passionately clinging to hers, their breathing all at once harsh.
Roz was lost, at the first touch of his lips.
Ian slid his tongue into her mouth, parting her lips expertly, hungrily, igniting the ever present fire between them.
Roz tried to recall why she didn't want Ian to touch her, she forgot it all as his tongue slid along hers, nothing mattered except them.
Ian wanted to consume her, the hunger deep inside his belly driving him on, rough passion gripping him as he held Roz impossibly closer. His hands held her immobile as his mouth plundered her mouths secret places, tasting very part of her.
He soon lifted her in his arms, their mouths still joined, as he took her towards her massive bed.
Ian gave Roz no time to think, just feel.
He wanted her to remember how good they were together, how they fitted together just like missing pieces to a puzzle.
Here they were perfect, behind closed doors, away from prying eyes and society's rules.
Their eyes locked as Ian laid Roz on the wide expanse of her bed, speaking without words as he reached for her dress and lifted it over her head.
Roz watched him closely, her eyes absorbing every sharp plane and valley of his chest and arms as he stripped off his white shirt revealing the perfection beneath.
Then he lowered his body over hers and they were soon to skin, the heat ignited and they were lost in the deluge.
Ian kissed her deeply, worshipping her mouth like a starving man, tasting each hidden part of her.
Their gazes clung to one another and they moved together, restlessly shifting together looking for the bone deep connection and delicious friction they had always shared.
Ian kicked off his trousers and settled between Roz's spread thighs with a groan of contentment.
This was home.
It felt so fucking incredible to be back where he belonged.
Ian flexed his hips against her heat, causing her to whimper with need.
The scrap of fabric separating them now was torn away by Ian's eager, impatient hands.
She was slick and heated flesh, needing and wanting him to claim her just as he always had.
Together they were perfect, infallible, whole.
Nothing else mattered right now in this moment except them.
They'd have to work out the question of what would happen now that they were together again.
Ian had no intention of letting her go now that she was back in his arms.
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