I Gave You Everything To Die With A Smile (You Took Everything But It Left You Empty)
Title from "You Watch Me Bleed" by Scary Kids Scaring Kids
"Ric…" A voice? Ah, yes. Someone was calling him. A blur of black and dark green and something glossy came in and out of focus. Glossy? It seemed to be water, more precisely rainwater; dew maybe? He could not really tell, his eyelids dropping down again.
"Alaric… Come on, Ric. Wake up." The voice again. Why wouldn't they just let him sleep? But wait. He knew that voice…
"Can you hear me? Ric." The voice was urging, a slightly panicked edge to it, but its owner was able to keep it relatively controlled. He forced his eyes open again and now he could see they were in a forest. A forest? Oh right... He went there, stupidly thinking he could deal with the vampires alone, but he miscalculated. It turned out there were four of them, young and on top of that eager to have some fun with a human.
"Damon…?" Right, of course it would be Damon.
"Yeah, it's me." obvious relief colouring his voice this time, "I'm getting you out of here." Damon started lifting him from the ground and it was then that he became aware of the pain as it rippled through him. His body seemed to be barely able to keep itself together without the parts of it ripping and falling off. A weak sound between a growl and a sob left his mouth as he grabbed the closest thing to him which was Damon's shirt. He could not catch his breath; some of his ribs were broken, probably most of them. Those vampires did a damn good job and as a result he was rewarded with a slow and painful end. He noticed his bloody hand. It was a good thing Damon wore all black, because that way the blood could not be seen. He did not know why that would even matter in such a situation, but it did. Maybe his mind was screwed up or maybe it was just the fact that the person in question was Damon.
Damon stilled completely. When Alaric started breathing again, shallowly but breathing nonetheless, he repositioned them ever so gently, sitting next to him and supporting all of Alaric's weight with his own body, one arm coming around Alaric's shoulders. He had never seen Damon being so gentle but, even before that, Alaric had been certain that he could be.
"Okay, we're gonna try something else." Alaric's hazy mind could not understand what he was talking about until he felt Damon's wrist, blood dripping from it, on his mouth, "Drink, Ric."
He turned his head up slightly to look at Damon, "It's too late…"
"Don't waste your breath, Ric, and drink." He gritted his teeth, voice low, "Drink." Biting into his wrist once again, he forced blood into his mouth. Alaric, having no strength to fight back, he let him have his way. He watched Damon as he wiped his own blood from Alaric's mouth and chin, then cleaned his hand carelessly on his jeans.
"It's…" Alaric tried, but it was so difficult to speak, "…not working."
"Fine, then I'm gonna…"
"Damon."
"No, Ric, we have to…"
"Damon." This time Damon did turn his gaze on him, searching his face. He knew Damon's mind was speeding over everything he had ever learnt trying to come up with a solution, but there was nothing left to do. Not this time. "Just stay… please." Damon's eyes narrowed even more, then widened, as it dawned on him what Alaric was truly asking, and he let out a desperately helpless breath, breaking the eye contact to look somewhere in the distance, anywhere but Alaric. Damon was never the one to let go easily of anything he cherished.
"Where would I go, you idiot?" but Alaric just smiled because it was enough. The anger was simply a defence mechanism for Damon, the way to protect himself from getting hurt, and Alaric felt some twisted sort of smugness for being the only one who knew that side of him. "You don't need to plead, Ric." Damon added, softly. How he wanted to keep his eyes open, just to look at Damon for as long as he had the time left, to burn into his memory every little crease and the smallest of imperfections on his face that made Damon so very… so very Damon. That way, he hoped to lock him in forever if the place where he was going was somewhere his conscience would follow him to. That was becoming increasingly difficult, however, his eyes going out of focus every now and then, but he tried and he fought, because for whom and with whom would he rather try and fight than Damon? Just the way it was supposed to be.
"I've never…" pain rippled somewhere inside of him, everywhere, he could not distinguish the places where he was injured anymore. Everything hurt, like someone was cutting him to pieces, taking their time, bit by bit, "…given you anything…"
Confusion painted his face as his eyes focused on Alaric once more.
"When we were captured together, two months ago… and you... you were on the verge of snapping…" Damon's eyes narrowed slightly, clearly not liking where the conversation was going, "I wanted to offer you some of my blood to…"
"Why are you…" he tried hesitantly but Alaric cut him off.
"I know you wouldn't have said 'no'." Alaric could see the realisation darken Damon's beautiful features.
"No, Ric. I…"
"Damon," Alaric kept interrupting him, but he really needed to say this, he needed Damon to understand. "I won't be able to…" he stopped, his throat constricting, "If this is the last chance I have… and I want to give you something…" he coughed once, which was painful but at the same time it bought him a second to think over his next words, because he was really in no state to give long convincing speeches, "…will you reject it?"
Damon stared at him, then brushed his fingertips over Alaric's cheek before pulling him into his chest with great attention, Alaric's head coming to rest just beneath his chin.
"You really are an idiot, Ric." Damon said, trying to pull nonchalance even when his voice cracked at the last word. A smile grazed Alaric's lips, but he could not find the strength to give him a reassuring laugh.
"Hey… it's not like I'll need it anymore…"
They stayed like that for a short while and he could hear Damon let out a few shaky breaths, probably trying to compose himself and failing miserably.
"Sorry… Damon…"
"For what?" his voice a whisper now, lacking strength.
"For leaving you…" for leaving you like Katherine did, like Rose did, like even Elena did in a sort of way… He did not react at first, but then he moved Alaric slightly back so they could look at each other. Damon understood; Alaric could read it from his eyes and from the way he swallowed hard, not knowing how to respond to that, because he was indeed leaving.
"Hey… remember the time I told you how we should go to Scotland one of these days to hunt vampires through the moors?" Alaric was taken aback slightly by the unexpected question, but then he smiled.
"Scotland moors?" he laughed softly and immediately regretted the action as it morphed into a painful cough. He could feel blood trickling from the corner of his mouth, down the side of his chin, so he brought one hand up to wipe it, even though it took immense effort to do so. Then he realised that it did not even matter for he was covered in blood. Damon seemed not to notice although Alaric knew that was not true. He just held him there, both of his arms around him, supporting his weight and enveloping him in his warmth and smell at he same time. It felt good. "I thought… you were joking…"
"Yeah, well… Scotland is beautiful. You'll like it." the tense he used did not slip Alaric's attention, "We'll rent a car and then drive around as much as we like, top speed," Alaric closed his eyes, it was so comfortable staying like this, in Damon's arms, "going wherever we like. Did you know there've been reports of a large number of young vampires out of control lately? We'll hunt them all down. You and I… like it's supposed to be. Right, Ric?"
"Yeah…" like it's supposed to be, "I like that…"
"Yeah, me too." He could feel Damon's chest rising and then falling as he took a deep breath, "And then, when we get tired, we'll find an inn, drink scotch… oh, you must try scotch there, Ric."
"You know I'll beat you…" another cough, "…in a drinking match." He said with a smile, his eyes still closed.
"Keep dreaming, Ric." Alaric almost forgot why they were there in the first place. Almost. "Then we'll prepare the weapons for the next hunt…"
"Will we sleep in the same bed?" Damon scoffed at that and Alaric opened his eyes to look at him.
"I always knew you wanted to see me naked." There it was! That crooked smirk Alaric had been waiting for since the moment Damon had appeared that night; the one he never wanted to forget, even if all else turned to dust.
"Busted…" he whispered with a smile, oddly relaxed, a different kind of warmth spreading inside his chest. If he had known this was how he would meet his end, he would not have been afraid of it.
"No worries, it'll be our dirty little secret." Damon winked, but he could not smother the apprehension in his eyes, "By the way, if you've ever wondered, the feeling's mutual." And then the smirk faded. Alaric wanted to clutch to it, etch it permanently into those features, but it vanished regardless.
After a few moments, Damon leaned slowly and pressed their lips together. It was feather-like, just a brush of skin on skin… but his lips were soft, just like Alaric sometimes imagined they would feel like, because he knew that everything about Damon was different than what it looked like at first glance. After the first wave of sensations washed over him, he could feel the burn of tears behind his eyelids. This kiss just proved all they could have been but never would be, something that was barely created but already had to die.
When Damon moved back, so many emotions swirled and flickered in his eyes and in every line of his face: pain, regret, desolation, fondness, guilt, despair, resignation... A drop of blood was on Damon's lower lip, but nothing implied he noticed it. Alaric lifted his heavy arm, wiping the drop of blood with his thumb. He wished he could stay. He could feel one traitorous tear escaping from the corner of his eye and then a fit of coughing raked his body. Damon held him closer.
"Shh… It'll be okay now, it'll be fine, Ric. I won't let you suffer any longer." his voice reassuring and strong again, while being nothing more than a whisper, a breeze caressing his cheek. Trembling lips trailed butterfly kisses from Alaric's forehead, his eye, down his cheek and jaw, and finally lingering on his neck. Sharp teeth broke the skin, but he could not even feel them through the innumerable injuries. And then all the pain vanished. He could feel Damon's soft lips on his neck and the way his body enveloped him, crushing him, but it felt so good, and he was so warm. For the first time, Damon was so much warmer than him and it lulled him pleasantly into a state of floating oblivion, although he was still acutely aware of the arms holding him in a secure grip and the unmistakable but fresh scent that was distinctly Damon. Before everything turned into nothingness, there was a brief but perfectly clear flash of comprehension - they would have fitted together just right.