A/N: I know this is like my one thousand story—but this is a refine, revamped, and better story of my older story called Neutron Star Collision. I have to give it up to my co-writer and partner of crime Mamushka fka momoXvolturi aka Maple Syrup and Canadian Bacon. A Place for My Head belongs to Linkin Park. Check out for story updates on my facebook page bennyjuderoad/ and tumblr page .com
A Place for My head
I'm so sick of the tension, sick of the hunger
Sick of you acting like I owe you this
Find another place to feed your greed
While I find a place to rest
Maybe someday I'll be just like you
And step on people like you do and
Run away of the people I thought I knew
I remember back then who you were
You used to be calm, used to be strong
Used to be generous but you should've known
That you'd wear out your welcome
And now you see how quiet it is, all alone
Alexandra
Alexandra.
The origins of her name was Greek, the feminine version of Alexander, meaning defender of men. The name represented strength and power amongst mortals and immortals. She was to be glorious, a monument of new times to come. The beginning of history.
However, as she stood within the confines of her room staring absently out the window—she felt numb. A hollow shell of something that was supposed to be beautiful. Instead she felt discarded—a mere decoration. Her very existence in the simplest of terms was a disappointment. A mockery for every single immortal to jest about.
She was preordained to be a princess, held within a castle of dreams and fantasy, but this was no ideal kingdom for which she fount herself.
A moan came forth from her barely parted lips as though summoning up her despair. Moving from her post she regarded the room; everything was immaculate, the simplicity in style did not diminished the opulence or caused it to be gaudy. It was a chamber that would have had any woman envious.
Alexandra had only the best, she owned the most expensive, and lacked nothing—excepted what she really wanted.
Her heart ached.
It wailed out for things that it most desired—love and acceptance.
She turned in the direction of her floor length vanity. The reflection before her was that of a beautiful young woman with eyes as dead and lifeless as a corpse.
Passive emerald iris stared back at her reflection tracing over her immaculate mocha complexion. She cocked her head examining her high cheek bones and delicate lips. How ironic for her to noticed the similarities that her and her father share—both held the same defined cheekbones and bone structure. Petite with the face of an angel, Alexandra Volturi, was a sight to behold. But happy she was not.
Within a castle full of demons, she had her fair share of mental wounds that only time and distance could heal. Today only added to those wounds of being unwanted, unloved, and discarded.
"Happy birthday my angel,"
A small smile managed to curved her lips.
She did not turn; knowing by heart whose beautiful and loving voice that spoke, belong too. However, like a shadow, bitterness always followed her happiness.
Turning away from the mirror, she could no longer look at the sour creature that she had grown to be.
"Thank you, my aunt, you're too kind," try as she may, she couldn't muster up any enthusiasm to match her well chosen words.
"Come now," her Aunt chirped gracefully gliding over to her side and enwrapping her into a hug.
Alexandra wrapped her arms around the thin frame of her aunt—squeezing her as tightly as though her life was dependent on it.
She inhaled the affections of her aunt like a drug—knowing that this was the only love she would receive. She could have wept with how pathetic she had become.
"You look to sad for a girl celebrating her names day."
"What's the point? No one will come except you and perhaps Marcus. C-can we just skip it this year," Alexandra winced at how small her voice sounded.
But all she wanted to do was just escape this god forsaken day.
It only further reminded her of the life she lived and the rejection of her own flesh and blood.
A man who didn't even care enough to remember the day in which she was born.
By God's she just wanted to forget.
To sleep so deep into her self pity and misery until the day pass.
Her body was suddenly yanked back and she stared into the fierce expression of her aunt.
"Now why would we do such a thing? Especially when we have such a wonderful reason to celebrate."
Alexandra sighed.
She loved her aunt, with every fiber of her being, but the woman would never understand how painful this day was.
With over a hundred guards within the castle and fifty human servants only one person was guaranteed to celebrate her names day.
Why some may ask.
It was because no one cared.
She was useless in their eyes.
Alexandra heard the whispers she'd even heard it from her fathers own lips.
"Why would anyone waste their time attending an event so pointless as her birth?"
If no one else cared for her names day, then what was the point in celebrating it?
To him it was no celebration, but a continuous reminder of her pointless existence and his failure.
Today, was not a wonderful day, but one filled with so many painful memories that she could barely close her eyes without seeing the images.
Pushing away from her aunt she stood, allowing her faint pink dress to flow behind her. Intending to go back to her window to look at the only source of peace that she has clung too these nineteen years—the sky.
"Please Auntie, spare me the misery—just this year."
Didyme stared at her niece with the sadness of a failed parent.
No child should ever be filled with so much anguish and distress especially on their names-day.
She could practically feel the pain radiating from her sweet niece seeping into her immortal body.
However, Didyme would not let her niece fall into the pit of melancholy.
She would make things right. She had to. For her beautiful Alexandra.
Drifting to her niece's side she touched her soft warm rosy cheeks feeling the blood pulse within her hands. The warmth that she loved so much and yet her brother hated so fiercely.
She smiled gently, catching her niece's breathtaking emerald eyes with the ruby hue of her own.
Leaning forward she placed a soft kiss onto her cheek.
"Maybe this year will be different," her eyes twinkled with determination.
Even if her methods may prove to be lethal to her own life Didyme had to try.
"Meet me in my chambers in ten minutes, Angel, you may be surprised this year," with one last kiss to her cheek she glided from her room.
With the excitement and adrenaline of her next task she took long strides down the hall towards the west tower library.
A place where her brother spent most of his days.
With the added nervousness to her speed she was outside the library door within seconds.
Touching her hand to the mahogany oak she began to push the door open, but quickly checked herself.
She knew that one simple mistake as not knocking before entering his private area could mean the difference between a comfortable conversation or a vicious argument.
Balling her small pale fist, she gave two sharp knocks before hearing his distinct 'enter'.
The room smelt of Sandwood and mint.
Wall length shafts held books that were dated of times past and mementos of a life that stretched with each new phase of a century. Rusted crimson drapery covered the windows of the west wall with the view of a city that was filled with paradoxes. The south wall held paintings by the Masters of the Renaissances, though different, their theme was the same—of conquest and power a personal favorite of his.
The study was impeccable and cold—like the person who occupy it.
"Brother," bowing her head in the proper respect that was due to his position and not solely due to him.
"Sister, what is that you wish of me?" his tone was nonchalant as he stared dully at the pages before him.
Didyme knew that she was walking on unsteady ground when it came to her brother. She was going to have to keep her wits about her if she was going to succeed.
"Your day must be very hectic—surely it will be worst later on?"
"It has been a very calm day and I see it being so for the rest of the day," he spoke disregarding one book and grabbing another.
Didyme couldn't help but thank the gods that one issue was solve—now all she had to do was handle her plane accordingly.
"Will brother, may you accompany me to my chambers it is of a very important matter that I want you to see."
"Why is that sister?" annoyance itching in his voice, "I see no purpose."
"Please Aro, it is of a very important matter."
He stood from his seat; zipping in front of her brushing his hand against hers. Had her heart been beating it would have jump out of her chest.
A simple eyebrow raised with a blank expression itched onto his features.
He let go of her hand and went back to his seat once more engrossing himself in the text in his hand. Silence took over the room.
"You've seen my thoughts," she came here with one purpose that she was going to see through—by the gods she was going to have her brother celebrate his only begotten daughter's names day—on her venom she was going to make it happen.
"I have."
"Well? Are you going to join in the celebration?"
A dis-humorous laugh came forth from his red stain lips—a laugh that held no emotion sending a chill through her.
"Celebration? For what?" he said turning the page.
"It is only right, as lord of this castle…and ruler of our worldthat your presence shall be needed," she spoke those words, but what she truly wanted to say, "Your rightful duty as her father—that is why you should be there." However, she needed to be tactful—but she honestly didn't know how long she could keep up with this charade.
"Well—enjoy your little revelry; however, I shall not be attending."
"Please my brother, it is her nineteen names—" she was cut off.
"I've stop counting since the sixth."
His cold response sent a chill of displeasure through her as she looked at the man that she called brother.
"It is only right—" once more she was cut off.
"You say that as if I'm obligated by duty to go," he stood from his seat replacing the text with another. His back was turned.
She had tried to be diplomatic now it was time that she was aggressive with her approach.
"Yes, after all Alexandra is your daughter."
The room had fall into an unsettling silence—the tension was obvious in her brother's posture; he had become ridged as though a cold wind had swiped him.
"That human is no child of mine," his voice barely below a whisper.
Aro had been so sure that his seed would begin a new era to the vampire world. All that he was and more would be reflected in his child—his legacy, so pristine and magnificent that all would look upon her with jealousy. He was so sure about the birth of his child—his Alexandra most befitting, name after one of the most remarkable mortal conquers of his time—that was her birthright as his heir.
However, the sister fates played him most foul giving him an everlasting burden and shame to to his glorious name. How could he—Aro Volturi, king of the immortal world, have a child that was more human than vampire. He was a laughing stock due to that abomination—each time that he was in that things presence he could not help the animalistic hatred that took over him.
Didyme stared at him in pure disbelief.
She was not blind to her brother's disappointment that Alexandra held no gift or for that matter common vampire abilities. Although there were times her brother's treatment towards his daughter had cause for her to question him never once did he vocalize his true thoughts.
When vampire's used the term human it was in the same class as a derogatory slur.
Her disbelief turned into a fierce fire within her soul—Didyme may not have birthed her, but Alexandra had been more her child since she had heard the sweet thump of her heart inside her mother's womb. She had the pleasure of watching her niece grow—blossoming into one of the rarest and striking rose. Her brother had created a golden child—a child that even Zeus and Hera would've been envious to have—and yet her brother so blind in his own self absorb godlike complex that he did not see the perfection that resided within these walls that bare his blood.
Didyme was known to be forgiven and slow to anger; but when it came down to her mate and niece—will people remember very clearly that she was indeed Aro's blood after all. It was with this cold disregard that the maternal instinct was in full force and caution be damn.
"Alexandra shares the same blood that once ran through us brother—if you just simply take the time and be in her presence—"
"That human is not my blood! I would less spend time in your presence then that abominations!"
"Aro how can you say such atrocious words—" he cut her off.
"With ease, especially if they are true."
"Alexandra is the epitome of all things gold. Compassionate, beautiful, intelligent, just, quick, witty, sensible, and flawless she is the daughter one dreams to have—and yet you speak with such hatred?"
"SHE IS NOT RENESMEE CULLEN! HOW COULD SOME ILL-BEGOTTON WEAK BOY AND SOME PATHIETIC HUMAN PRODUCE A CHILD LIKE THAT!"
Didyme could not believe her ears—could not believe this was the reality that playing before her eyes. This obsession of the Cullen's dumb luck or mistake, which ever the two they wanted to claim. Didyme knew the circumstances of Renesmee birth was sheer mistake—her brother was the very one retelling them of how the foolish boy wanted to kill the fetus only through the acts of his sister who was too obsessed with lost motherhood and a shifter who was as clueless as the boy did the child even make it.
Her skills were not as equal or impressive as Jane's and Alec's, but once Aro learnt about hybrid children he wanted one for himself.
She could not believe that after nineteen years her brother was still obsessed with Renesmee Cullen.
"Brother do you hear yourself? How can you measure Alexandra up to Renesmee Cullen? Do you have any impression if her power even advance since the last time we were in Forks? Or still average compare to the other gifted immortals you have at your disposal?"
"All that matters is that boy's child develop with a skill out of her useless mother's womb—while Alexandra has shown nothing but waste space and brought me dishonor."
The way he spited out her name was as though it was an affront to himself to even speak it and Didyme could feel her temper raise—once upon a time he said her name as though the twelve Olympians would come before him and bare gifts…now it was said with such disdain and disgust that he might as well have cursed.
"Aro, every child develops differently to compare the two is like comparing apples to oranges. If you were in her presence for only one second you would be amaze at the similarities—"
"Similarities?" now he laughed in a twisted way that it gripped her soul, "What similarities? We share nothing!"
"You are right brother," she said in a piercing tone, "There is no similarities in nature between you two! Alexandra is not malicious, neurotic, paranoid, pretentious, unmoral, and cold hearted as you!"
A thunderous crack shuddered the room as Aro stood in front of his sister menacing eyes lowered in her direction.
"You forget yourself Didyme. I am your king and lord, and you shall show me respect…for you are just as useless as that human that waste away in my home."
The threat was clear—his eyes that were always calculating and collective was unhinged and ominous. She knew not to push him…her brother was not a man to take lightly.
She couldn't help that her silent heart wept at the sight before her.
This was not the once beloved brother of her human life. The brother who protected her and told her tales of hero's and their fantastic ventures, of spiteful yet stunning immortals who brought bliss and sorrow to their subjects, and that of the unknown. The brother with striking emerald hue for eyes—that their mother and neighbors praised were a gift from the gods. That same striking emerald hue that now rested on soft features of a daughter—a daughter that his human self would have love fiercely and been proud of. He was not the brother filled with mirth and assurance—the brother she had loved so fiercely and mourn when he had suddenly disappeared. This man before her was not her brother.
No, the brother that she had loved, died so many centuries ago, that the only resemblance of that untainted soul was in the form of her niece.
The only emotion she felt at this moment was unadulterated sorrow—for she would have love for her niece to meet the man that was her father before this creature had killed him.
"Hm-hm."
She was pulled at her despondent thoughts drifting her eyes upon the sight of Caius.
Like her mate, Didyme, did not care for Caius—never had she meet a man whose entire essence was filled with misery and greed. He was toxic—and her hatred for the self assuming immortal was evident by those who really looked.
"Am I interrupting anything?" the smirk that pull to his lips sent her nerves railing. He had overheard their conversation and he was finding it amusing. It would be just like him—the unworthy bastard who immortality was wasted upon.
"No, you were not interrupting anything," spoke Aro. She turned her attention back on her brother who was once more behind his desk with the text he had violently slam once more gain his attention.
"I was bored, so I thought to pay you a visit," he said as he took a seat in one of the chairs.
Didyme did not want to be in this room that was filled with contaminated by the likes of them. She needed to readjust her emotions and be there for the one person that actually matter.
Turning know that there was no purpose of her stay as she took one step the sound of her brother stopped her.
"I don't think I dismiss you sister,"
She turns in his direction; his eyes fixed on the text in his hand, while the always condescending eyes of Caius were on her.
"My apologies brother," her voice a slight tremble, for she was still anger by his actions and words.
She waited.
He continued to read.
Caius was highly amused.
Forty-five minutes passed.
"You are dismissed Didyme."
She bowed her head in a form of respect that she did not hold for this being before her leaving the room entirely.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
A befitting proverb to sum up her situation at this moment. She was filled with so much disappointment, anger, and annoyance…yet…it was verification of her brother's past and present behavior towards his child. There was no longer an excuse for his ill behavior and she could not feel any type of joy being proven right.
She could fully understand her niece's despondent nature that she tried to hide from her.
Her brother might have thought her gift useless—however, it held qualities that made her aware of emotions people strain to keep to themselves.
Alexandra might have attempt to conceal the dark shadows of her depression, but she could never truly hide from her. Arriving to her destination she eased into the room—unlike the place she left, she did not need permission to enter.
The soft mumblings of her mate's voice brought a sense of comfort and warmth—balancing her in the only manner a mate can.
"When she was a child it was easy to make her a gift…now she's practically a grown woman, I don't think she would care for such little tokens from her outdated uncle."
She couldn't stop the laugh that fall from her lips—she was in need of a laugh whether it was funny or not.
Wrapping her arms around her beloved she place a kiss upon his cool cheek as she looked at his gift.
Marcus had made a beautiful book of ruby and gold volume of Ovid's Metamorphose —knowing such tales would delight their niece.
"Any gift from you she would surly adore."
"You have this on good authority?"
"Have I ever been wrong in the past?"
He smiled at his beloved, "What is the theme this year my dear? I remember how last time you rewrapped one of gifts since it didn't tie with the color schemes?"
She playfully growls at his teasing, "Light pink and gold—her favorite colors."
He went about gift wrapping the book as quickly—turning around he offer his arm to his wife and mate. She smiles happily to take the arm of her love.
They walked down the hall in an easy manner towards their wing.
"Where were you my love? I was looking for you early…" he stopped himself as he watched the ease expression turn sour upon his mates face.
His mood suddenly became somber, "Did you speak with Aro?"
She was silent her expression becoming hard as though a heavy musk was sent in her direction.
"Didyme what transpire between your brother and you?"
Before she could speak a guard had made themselves known.
"Master Marcus," the nameless guard attention solely on Marcus, "Master Aro wishes for your presence in his study—it is of an important matter."
Marcus nodded his head watching as the guard left them.
The anger that she had thought had evaporated came back with a vengeance—pulling her into this whirlpool that burned like hell's fire.
That petty bastard!
How low could he really go?
She turned to her mate, "You're seriously not entertaining—that?" the animosity could not be hidden from her tone.
Marcus sigh, "I have to—"
"No you don't Marcus! He does this to make that child miserable! Just because he plays the fool I will not have you my love following him! Three hundred and sixty-four days Aro shall claim…but this one day is all about Alexandra! You must be there—please my love, do this for her?"
"Didyme, if I should disregard your brothers order who would be punished?" his voice measured and calm.
"What—" she was cut off.
"Who would be punished if I should disregard your brother orders?"
She was silent as understanding took over her.
"He would use it for an excuse to punish her!"
He was not ignorant of his brother-in-law ill treatment towards the very women that shared his blood. It was completely disheartening at his behavior towards his very own child—his flesh and blood. He complies to keep the peace—staying on Aro's good side meant both his wife and niece were safe another day.
Whatever transpired between the siblings meant Marcus needed to be remedy before the sun had set.
"Give my regards to Alexandra and tell her I shall come see her later on," he grabbed hold of his mate, "Please my love."
She musters up a sigh, "Of course."
Capturing her lips in swift kiss Marcus swiftly went to his brother's chambers as she continues to theirs to brighten a young lady's day.
The countenance that meet her told her of another story.
She couldn't fight the sigh that left her lips once more.
Had her brother decided to spend a few secondsof his precious time—he would have noticed the slight telling signs of vampire abilities surfacing.
Subtle these abilities were, Alexandra was able to hear farther, see precisely, and move quit fast then normal. Her brother might have changed his stance towards his child—after all there was some sign that she wasn't all human.
Didyme had noticed it during her sixteenth names day; she had fought with the idea of telling her brother, for it would mean he would actually invest his time with his child. But—she knew that he would take on his duty for selfish reasons whether than for Alexandra.
After what had transpired between them she was elated that she had never spoke one world of it.
Now...she wished that her dear sweet niece was blissfully ignorant of everything.
"You heard."
"Let's us proceed, the longer we stretch this out the longer the day shall follow," her voice empty—no feeling what-so-ever.
She cursed her brother's name a thousand times over.
Moving towards her niece—the child of her heart and soul, she stared into her eyes. How could one so young have eyes so empty?
A wandering child.
"There will be a day when vindication shall be yours—that day might not be here, but it would surely come my love."
Aro's day of judgment shall come—and he will have to answer for his sins especially those towards his child.
"Gifts first or cake?" in the slightest moment Alexandra smile.
Her aunt always asked this question every single one of her names day and her answer was always the same.
"Gifts."
"I was hoping for once your answer would change," she teased.
Alexandra laughed, "This is one tradition I shall never change."
"This is your uncle," she handed her mates gift to her.
A small smile came to her lips as she went about unwrapping the gift. Her smile had brightened when she noticed it was a volume by her favorite Roman author.
"I shall thank him when I see him," she said placing the book down.
"Here is mines," handing her her gift.
She took the time to unwrap her aunts—tantalizing her aunt with the anticipation she knew that was boiling over inside her.
However, her playful manner left her, once her eyes were drawn at the item that lay within the box. Didyme was all smiles as she watched her niece take hold of her gift.
The necklace was made of rose gold; the pendent was in the shape of a lotus encrusted with pink diamonds with four rare diamonds at each end. The initials within the lotus was A and V—Alexandra Volturi.
"Thank you my aunt," she said wrapping her aunt in a tight embrace—fighting back the urge to weep at the effort of her aunt in showing that she was love.
Didyme held her tight to her as if she could absorb the child within her and keep her protected from all those who wanted to do her harm.
She was happy that her niece loved the gift; however, she couldn't take full credit for the gift.
During the period when her brother actually gave a damn about his child. Aro was adamant that his child was not to be given the Volturi pendent—as he stated so many times as her niece was quickening in her mother's womb, she was the dawn of a new era.
Meaning the pendent of the past would not suffice with his child. Taken it upon himself to create her crest and once learning of the sex he knew the perfect symbol for his child. That of a lotus—for it meant rebirth.
However, once Alexandra had shown no signs of anything her brother had order Marcus to destroy the pendent. Marcus and her had kept it, deciding to give it to her on her nineteenth names day like Aro had planned too years ago.
"Now—now my sweet child," she whispered in her hair, "I had the cook prepare one of the finest cakes then all the past ones."
Alexandra pull back a little; the bottom of her lip tucked between her teeth—a secret permeating within those deep pools.
"What is the matter?"
"I—don't have the taste for cake…"
The look of recognition came over her as she moved away from her niece.
The taste for blood had awaken when she was fourteen—it was subtle for that urge for blood and periods of time when she didn't need it. However, today the familiar fire that burned was in need to be placated.
She took the cup from her aunt silently thanking her as she sipped cooling the fire within for a time being.
"Sufficient?"
"Yes."
"So what shall we do?" she said tucking herself next to her niece on the settee.
"Covens?" Alexandra said in a sing-song voice.
"Haven't I told all the covens thus far?" she said playfully.
"You've told me about the Egyptian, the Denali, the Olympic, and the Romania covens…"
"Let us see—I haven't told you about the Irish coven..."
The subtle click of the door told her of her the arrival of her mate. Didyme clausal looked at the clock the time—it was one in the morning. Alexandra had gone to her quarters around ten when it became obvious that Marcus wouldn't join them.
Her annoyance was coursing through her being at the sheer petty-mindedness of Aro. She kept her attention solely on the novel in her hands.
"Didyme," she could hear the tiredness that linger in her mate's tone. Sympathy temper her annoyance; however, it did not erase it. After all it did not change how she felt on her stance with this whole situation.
"My love?"
"I'm asking for you to make amends with your brother…"
The novel was shut tightly as fierce ruby iris were pointed in his direction.
"Before, you make you complaint—I'm asking you to do so to keep the peace my love…do this for Alexandra."
Aro whole demeanor throughout the day had Marcus on full alert—he did not know what had transpired between him and his wife. Aro had not said anything—never once did he confront him. He felt there was something off.
The feeling that always took over him whenever Aro was scheming; however, it felt more sinister than usual. Whatever words that was said between—he needed his wife to set to rights. She was the only one that could be reason with logic unlike her obsessive brother.
The look upon her mate had unnerved her—never once did Marcus held this sense of apprehension it unnerved her.
He could not remember life he once had as a human—the only single recollection he had was bitterness and hatred. Emotions that had transferred into his immortality.
Immortality had offer him everything that his human life had lack; however, he could not find the joy of power and riches that he had acquired for being one of the leaders of the Volturi.
Royalty amongst immortals…and yet even within this group he was just as insignificant as the lowest immortal.
To lack a gift amongst a sea of gifted immortals brought a piercing needle to his already fragile esteem. That once more he was a foot away from absolute power. Although he did not have a gift where he lack in this his abilities made up for.
Aro and Marcus had made it their business to always remind him of where he lacks in power they held—even those in the like of Didyme who held insignificant gifts were still above him.
It brought a never ending sense of bitterness and hatred.
How he was vindicated and fount unadulterated bliss when the abomination that Aro created held no power or even the simplest abilities.
He was burning with contempt at the thought that there was going to be a being with way more power then he—it was a complete humiliation that this being would be of mix heritage who would have a gift over one like him of pure stock.
He relished in the humiliation that Aro face and he took it upon himself to make sure Aro knew it.
"Another nineteenth year—still not one single hint of a gift or ability," he had heard the conversation between Aro and his sister about the little human girl.
To see his always collective and calm brother finally show some sense of emotion—this day could not be any sweeter.
"All it would take but one ability—some sort of sign that said all is not lost, that I did not waste my time…" he spoke not really speaking to anyone.
"As each day pass with her locked away in the northern part of the castle—the more people speak…"
"I am not ignorant of what they say about that little bitch! I will rectify my honor."
A smirked pull into the features of the blond immortal, "Rectify your honor brother? Surely you cannot be speaking what I think you're saying?"
"Her existence will no longer plague my name."
"Well…I have always wonder how your blood has tasted I wouldn't mind of having the honor of disposing the human."
"Thank you brother, but I shall be the one to do such, after all I begun this science project it is only right that I finished it to the end."
"When shall it happen?"
"Very soon…"
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