Next to the center aisle, I recognized Edward Cullen by his unusual hair, sitting next to that single open seat.

As I walked down the aisle to introduce myself to the teacher and get my slip signed, I was watching him surreptitiously. Just as I passed, he suddenly went rigid in his seat. He stared at me again, meeting my eyes with the strangest expression on his face- it was hostile, furious. I looked away quickly, shocked, going red again. I stumbled over a book in the walkway and had to catch myself on the edge of a table. The girl sitting there giggled.

I'd noticed that his eyes were black- coal black.

Mr. Banner signed my slip and handed me a book with no nonsense about introductions. I could tell we were going to get along. Of course, he had no choice but to send me to the one open seat in the middle of the room. I kept my eyes down as I went to sit by him, bewildered by the anatagonistic stare he'd given me.

I didn't look up as I set my book on the table and took my seat, but I saw his posture change from the corner of my eye. He was leaning away from me, sitting on the extreme edge of his chair and averting his face like he smelled something bad. Inconspiciously, I sniffed my hair. It smelled like strawberries, the scent of my favorite shampoo. It seemed an innnocent enough odor. I let my hair fall over my right shoulder, making a dark curtain between us, and tried to pay attention to the teacher.

Unfortunately, the lecture was on cellular anatomy, something I'd already studied. I took notes carefully any, always looking down. I managed to become almost completely absorbed in the class, up until I heard a strange buzzing next to my right ear. Stupid bugs. I tucked my hair behind my ear to try to scare it off, taking the opportunity to peek at Edward again, and immediately regretted it. He was glaring down at me, his black eyes full of revulsion, and... something else. Fear?

My scare-tactic seemed to have worked, so I returned to my notes before anyone noticed anything wrong between us. He was so mean. It wasn't fair.

It was only a few more minutes before the buzzing returned. I put my hair back, hoping to keep it away this time. It was easier to concentrate on the class when I couldn't see him. I wrote each word carefully, practically transcribing the lecture. I was working hard to make each line perfect, each letter neat, when something landed on my arm.

For a strange moment I thought Edward was trying to get my attention, so I looked up slowly, afraid to meet his eyes again. Almost immediately I saw that it was a mosquito- presumably the one that had been bothering me. Stupid bloodsuckers. I moved slowly, so as not to distract it from its feast, and managed to hit it with the tips of my fingers, leaving a smear of blood on my arm.

I hadn't realized it had gotten that far. It was only a tiny bit, but I could already smell it, rust and salt filling my nose, making me nauseated. I stood up, meaning to get a tissue. Edward's eyes followed me, landing on the blood. His eyes were bright red.

I stumbled as I turned around, wanting to get away from him. Had he see somehow put in contacts? It didn't make sense.

I didn't see what happened, I just felt the pain. And then blackness.

A/N: As you can probably tell, this was meant as a one-shot. Because of this, the story will be marked as completed even though I will hopefully be adding more one-shots.

By the way, I haven't the slightest idea whether there are noticeably more mosquitos in Forks than in Arizona. Google was remarkably unhelpful. This is just meant to be funny; if you're looking for careful adherence to scientific facts you might want to go elsewhere.

Disclaimer: This is a deliberate twisting of a scene from Twilight with a few added lines as a joke. I do not own any rights to the Twilight Saga. Parts of this are copied word for words, others have been changed or moved. If you're looking for an accurate copy of this scene, this is not the place to find it. I retyped the scene myself from the ebook; all errors/ typos are probably my own. It's probably obvious which bits are mine (I try, but I can't perfectly copy a writing style), but if you want to know particulars feel free to PM me or ask in a review.

I was little bit concerned about how large a part of this was copied from the book itself. I read the guidelines and I don't see anything against it, but if I missed something please let me know.

Thank you all for reading, I hope you found the concept as amusing as I did (I'm not a Twilight hater, but I'm not above mocking it). Please let me know what you think. :)